Pubic Speaking, best man speech for a dyslexic.
Discussion
I'm best man tomorrow, I have my speech I just need to read it.
Last time i was best man I rushed through it so quickly no one understood it, I also looked up once and lost my place.
So this time I have printed it out on small cards and paragraph at a time, so that shouldn't happen again. With luck.
My question is do you have any more tips for me?
Coloured writing? A particular font?
Last time i was best man I rushed through it so quickly no one understood it, I also looked up once and lost my place.
So this time I have printed it out on small cards and paragraph at a time, so that shouldn't happen again. With luck.
My question is do you have any more tips for me?
Coloured writing? A particular font?
Major Fallout said:
I'm best man tomorrow, I have my speech I just need to read it.
Last time i was best man I rushed through it so quickly no one understood it, I also looked up once and lost my place.
So this time I have printed it out on small cards and paragraph at a time, so that shouldn't happen again. With luck.
My question is do you have any more tips for me?
Coloured writing? A particular font?
Memorise it, and have a cue card with icons to remind you of the relevant stories.Last time i was best man I rushed through it so quickly no one understood it, I also looked up once and lost my place.
So this time I have printed it out on small cards and paragraph at a time, so that shouldn't happen again. With luck.
My question is do you have any more tips for me?
Coloured writing? A particular font?
Zoon said:
Memorise it, and have a cue card with icons to remind you of the relevant stories.
I guess you're not dyslexic! To OP, just read slower than you think. There's no rush and wedding speeches aren't too bad as everyone's had a few drinks! Had to do a father of the bride one a couple of years ago for my sister a being a litle dyslexic had it all typed out.
Record cards like you have are a good way. Number them if you haven't to make sure they are in the right order!
Good luck, you'll do fine! Remember to phase for laughs!
A friend of mine gave sadly, one of the worst speeches I have heard, because he had not bothered to learn it properly, and instead of writing it down, had just written "insert funny story about living with Dan" on the paper, and mumbled and froze up under the pressure.
My best mate, who was my best man a few months ago, usually talks really quickly and has to repeat himself to people - he says the best thing was that someone thankfully told him this in advance, and just make the effort to actually speak slowly - it might sound odd to you, but it will work for the audience so much better.
I also had to of course give a speech, and like you I put everything on little cue cards in my pocket and these worked really well for me - I practised it a few times the night before to really check that I was speaking consistently (I used a stopwatch) and then on the day and I appeared to get all the oohs/aahs/laughs in the places I had hoped for. I moved my thumb down the card line by line to ensure I said all the bits I wanted to say and covered all the bits I wanted to - eg I nearly forgot that I had to thank my wife's uncle for supplying lots of the food for us when I was talking, but then looked to my card and realised it was the next bit.
TL;DR - my advice - Practice, practice, practice, do not rely on short-hand notes - put the detail in but definitely highlight the important parts somehow so that you can easily find your place if you get sidetracked etc.
Coloured writing/highlighting etc - it might help.
And then practice some more.
My best mate, who was my best man a few months ago, usually talks really quickly and has to repeat himself to people - he says the best thing was that someone thankfully told him this in advance, and just make the effort to actually speak slowly - it might sound odd to you, but it will work for the audience so much better.
I also had to of course give a speech, and like you I put everything on little cue cards in my pocket and these worked really well for me - I practised it a few times the night before to really check that I was speaking consistently (I used a stopwatch) and then on the day and I appeared to get all the oohs/aahs/laughs in the places I had hoped for. I moved my thumb down the card line by line to ensure I said all the bits I wanted to say and covered all the bits I wanted to - eg I nearly forgot that I had to thank my wife's uncle for supplying lots of the food for us when I was talking, but then looked to my card and realised it was the next bit.
TL;DR - my advice - Practice, practice, practice, do not rely on short-hand notes - put the detail in but definitely highlight the important parts somehow so that you can easily find your place if you get sidetracked etc.
Coloured writing/highlighting etc - it might help.
And then practice some more.
Edited by Shakermaker on Wednesday 7th September 10:11
Don't attempt to read it, but as above remember the key parts. Have a card on the table in front of you with a bullet point list of the points you are planning to cover (1. Bride looks lovely; 2. Thanks to the bridesmaids; 3. How you know the groom and a few stories; 4. Toasts; 5. Thank you and enjoy the meal/rest of day).
Then have 1-2 cue cards for each. Again, use bullet points. So a cue could be "When Dave and I got hammered and lost in Prague", and behind that you have memorised the main story.
Look up once you know what you're going to say (i.e. once you have checked the cues). I find it easier to either pick 5-6 parts of the room to look at (at weddings this is easy- choose the centre pieces on the tables) or look generally just above people and scan the room. Don't talk directly at 1 or 2 individuals throughout!
Then have 1-2 cue cards for each. Again, use bullet points. So a cue could be "When Dave and I got hammered and lost in Prague", and behind that you have memorised the main story.
Look up once you know what you're going to say (i.e. once you have checked the cues). I find it easier to either pick 5-6 parts of the room to look at (at weddings this is easy- choose the centre pieces on the tables) or look generally just above people and scan the room. Don't talk directly at 1 or 2 individuals throughout!
AndrewEH1 said:
Zoon said:
Memorise it, and have a cue card with icons to remind you of the relevant stories.
I guess you're not dyslexic! To OP, just read slower than you think. There's no rush and wedding speeches aren't too bad as everyone's had a few drinks! Had to do a father of the bride one a couple of years ago for my sister a being a litle dyslexic had it all typed out.
Record cards like you have are a good way. Number them if you haven't to make sure they are in the right order!
Good luck, you'll do fine! Remember to phase for laughs!
Hence I thought dyslexic people struggle with letters hence my suggestion of pictograms or icons instead.
I've been fortunate to be BM a few times so I know what you are going through!
Whilst I initially wrote out each speech in its entirety, I practiced them in my head enough times that my cue card consisted of nothing more than a few bullet points - key words, if they were needed, to remind me of the next section.
If you can crack this, I think it gives a more natural flow to a speech - if you rely too much on long-hand notes, the speech can come across as a bit sterile or unprepared.
Only other advice I would give is to [try and] stay relaxed and, if possible, to enjoy the whole experience. Bear in mind that everyone in the room will be supporting you 100%, will be wishing you well and eager to laugh at any jokes or embarrassing stories you may tell of the groom.
Best of luck - I hope it goes well.
Whilst I initially wrote out each speech in its entirety, I practiced them in my head enough times that my cue card consisted of nothing more than a few bullet points - key words, if they were needed, to remind me of the next section.
If you can crack this, I think it gives a more natural flow to a speech - if you rely too much on long-hand notes, the speech can come across as a bit sterile or unprepared.
Only other advice I would give is to [try and] stay relaxed and, if possible, to enjoy the whole experience. Bear in mind that everyone in the room will be supporting you 100%, will be wishing you well and eager to laugh at any jokes or embarrassing stories you may tell of the groom.
Best of luck - I hope it goes well.
Zoon said:
AndrewEH1 said:
Zoon said:
Memorise it, and have a cue card with icons to remind you of the relevant stories.
I guess you're not dyslexic! To OP, just read slower than you think. There's no rush and wedding speeches aren't too bad as everyone's had a few drinks! Had to do a father of the bride one a couple of years ago for my sister a being a litle dyslexic had it all typed out.
Record cards like you have are a good way. Number them if you haven't to make sure they are in the right order!
Good luck, you'll do fine! Remember to phase for laughs!
Hence I thought dyslexic people struggle with letters hence my suggestion of pictograms or icons instead.
But thank you, the pictograms idea might go well with the text. I will have a play around with that.
Don't crucify me for this but the first thing I thought of was this and it's only an idea.
Come clean and say you are dyslexic at the start and that this is going to be one seriously difficult thing to do but you will to do it because it you really want to for the couple in question. Use a single ear phone into your own recording in your mobile so you have a prompts to follow. Explain that reading from notes could end in disaster and make a joke saying the last thing you need is wrong names etc.
This in itself will give you leeway and guarantee a good response at the end.
Good luck.
My daughter is dyslexic. Different things work for different people. For her:
1. Print in the free fonr Open Dyslexic. The strokes are different weights which helps to differentiate letters. She found it remarkably helpful
2. Print on off-white paper. She found the contrast caused problems, so uses yellow paper mostly.
3. Extra line spacing, and you may find printing fully justified helps as the return from the end of one line to the next is consistent. On the other hand, this may be worse for you.
Good luck!
1. Print in the free fonr Open Dyslexic. The strokes are different weights which helps to differentiate letters. She found it remarkably helpful
2. Print on off-white paper. She found the contrast caused problems, so uses yellow paper mostly.
3. Extra line spacing, and you may find printing fully justified helps as the return from the end of one line to the next is consistent. On the other hand, this may be worse for you.
Good luck!
Do NOT try and give yourself Dutch courage with "too many" drinks.
I was at a wedding a couple of years ago for one of my now wife's best mates. I don't really know her husband (he's a bit odd) but anyway, he had his brother as the best man and having spoken briefly too him in the church I was expecting a few funny anecdotes etc.
But instead - come speech time we got "Hi, I'm Rob, Steve's brother, and I'm a bit nervous so I'm going to have a little drink..." where he then produced a 350ml bottle of Jack Daniels from his jacket pocket. Whilst we all expected him to have a quick swig... he downed the whole thing in under 30 seconds. The speech then rambled on for 30 minutes and was a progressively more and more slurred example of how not to speak in public. We got one anecdote - something about Steve having a rubbish haircut when he was 14 - and the rest was "So yeah, that one time we were on holiday... yeah you know what I'm talking about! Oh Jessica, yeah that was funny wasn't it?" Without actually knowing what we talked about.
I was at a wedding a couple of years ago for one of my now wife's best mates. I don't really know her husband (he's a bit odd) but anyway, he had his brother as the best man and having spoken briefly too him in the church I was expecting a few funny anecdotes etc.
But instead - come speech time we got "Hi, I'm Rob, Steve's brother, and I'm a bit nervous so I'm going to have a little drink..." where he then produced a 350ml bottle of Jack Daniels from his jacket pocket. Whilst we all expected him to have a quick swig... he downed the whole thing in under 30 seconds. The speech then rambled on for 30 minutes and was a progressively more and more slurred example of how not to speak in public. We got one anecdote - something about Steve having a rubbish haircut when he was 14 - and the rest was "So yeah, that one time we were on holiday... yeah you know what I'm talking about! Oh Jessica, yeah that was funny wasn't it?" Without actually knowing what we talked about.
- names changed to protect identities
Get some good friends and practice it to them.
Otherwise you might f
k it up... (story time)
Good friend getting married and a few of us offered to listen to the speech from the best man (we also knew him) and give comments and help... he told it was not necessary and his GF had done that, we said several times that we where there if needed.
Friend marrying in to a well to do family, the matriarch of the family was there (90+ years old and hard of hearing)
Best man starts talking about time in Thailand with Groom and as a joke about the trip he says he won't mention the hookers or the strippers...
That went down like a lead balloon, there was a lot of explaining that the groom did not pay for sex or sleep with prostitutes...
The best man knew he screwed the pooch on that one and the faces in the crowd showed it... he spent most of the night apologising, the groom and the best man have not talked since that day.
Otherwise you might f
k it up... (story time)Good friend getting married and a few of us offered to listen to the speech from the best man (we also knew him) and give comments and help... he told it was not necessary and his GF had done that, we said several times that we where there if needed.
Friend marrying in to a well to do family, the matriarch of the family was there (90+ years old and hard of hearing)
Best man starts talking about time in Thailand with Groom and as a joke about the trip he says he won't mention the hookers or the strippers...
That went down like a lead balloon, there was a lot of explaining that the groom did not pay for sex or sleep with prostitutes...
The best man knew he screwed the pooch on that one and the faces in the crowd showed it... he spent most of the night apologising, the groom and the best man have not talked since that day.
Pre-record it a lip-sync? 
I was going to suggest using pictures instead of words but see that it's been suggested already.
I like the idea of "fessing up" at the start. One best man's speech had the following joke that I liked which might work (maybe prefix it with "Just to let you all know that I am genuinely dyslexic (yeah, thanks <groom> for asking me to stand in front of a room full of strangers and read a speech) so please bear with me!")
"So. We're here to celebrate the wedding of <bride> and <groom>... but what is a wedding? The Oxford English Dictionary defines it as 'the process of removing unwanted plants from an area of ground' but I think it's more than that."
then something about a symbol of love and commitment etc.
Most important thing to remember is that the audience are on your side. They all know how scary it must be and will laugh at the lamest of jokes.
You could always use one of my jokes my wife made me remove from a best man speech I once did...
"We all agree that <bride> looks stunning today, but I think the groom is often overlooked. <groom> scrubs up well too. In fact, we should make the most of <groom> looking so smart because when I was chatting with <bride> about the wedding evening she said that <groom> would probably come in his pyjamas."
I was going to suggest using pictures instead of words but see that it's been suggested already.
I like the idea of "fessing up" at the start. One best man's speech had the following joke that I liked which might work (maybe prefix it with "Just to let you all know that I am genuinely dyslexic (yeah, thanks <groom> for asking me to stand in front of a room full of strangers and read a speech) so please bear with me!")
"So. We're here to celebrate the wedding of <bride> and <groom>... but what is a wedding? The Oxford English Dictionary defines it as 'the process of removing unwanted plants from an area of ground' but I think it's more than that."
then something about a symbol of love and commitment etc.
Most important thing to remember is that the audience are on your side. They all know how scary it must be and will laugh at the lamest of jokes.
You could always use one of my jokes my wife made me remove from a best man speech I once did...
"We all agree that <bride> looks stunning today, but I think the groom is often overlooked. <groom> scrubs up well too. In fact, we should make the most of <groom> looking so smart because when I was chatting with <bride> about the wedding evening she said that <groom> would probably come in his pyjamas."
OP I have mild dyslexia and often have to speak in public.
All I can say is practice, practice, practice.
If talking on a new topic i start a few weeks before writing it down long hand and then chip away at it bit by bit until i have something that sounds about right when i read it back.
Then i start to read it aloud and that is when you start to realise that you need to tweak things here and there. By this time you also start to realise that you are picking up large tracts of the speech/talk. My aim is to be, by the night before, able to trot it out as if i were just talking to someone.
Different people have different strategies but the one thing that all seem to have in common is to practice, practice, practice!
One thing i also find helpful is once i have started to get to the point that the paperwork is more of a comfort blanket than a requirement i like to read it out loud to someone who knows little or nothing about the subject and get them to critic it. Painful at times but better there than to sit down in a full hall and over heard people saying how boring you were or slow, or hard to hear, etc. (I have not yet heard this about me thankfully but have heard it of many others!)
All I can say is practice, practice, practice.
If talking on a new topic i start a few weeks before writing it down long hand and then chip away at it bit by bit until i have something that sounds about right when i read it back.
Then i start to read it aloud and that is when you start to realise that you need to tweak things here and there. By this time you also start to realise that you are picking up large tracts of the speech/talk. My aim is to be, by the night before, able to trot it out as if i were just talking to someone.
Different people have different strategies but the one thing that all seem to have in common is to practice, practice, practice!
One thing i also find helpful is once i have started to get to the point that the paperwork is more of a comfort blanket than a requirement i like to read it out loud to someone who knows little or nothing about the subject and get them to critic it. Painful at times but better there than to sit down in a full hall and over heard people saying how boring you were or slow, or hard to hear, etc. (I have not yet heard this about me thankfully but have heard it of many others!)
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