Nutters you've worked with...
Discussion
Following on from the "Night Out" thread, what nutters have you worked with?
I've worked with loads, but a memorable one was a lad getting a written warning for punching a colleague on a night out. He received his warning in the managers office (glass box in the middle of a bigger office), stood up & set it on fire
So come on, tell us all about the nutters you've worked with...
I've worked with loads, but a memorable one was a lad getting a written warning for punching a colleague on a night out. He received his warning in the managers office (glass box in the middle of a bigger office), stood up & set it on fire
So come on, tell us all about the nutters you've worked with...
In the world of design engineer contractors the general rule is do as your told, don't kick up too much of a fuss, don't f
k up and just do your work. You're hired for your skills and expertise and to make good technical judgement. For this you are paid well, and if you're st you're out of the door pronto.
Back at my old work a few of us were having a tea break and we were having a discussion about who had the shortest contract. One guy piped up saying that a manager swore at him in the first hour of being at a previous employer so he just said he's not prepared to be spoken to like a piece of dirt and sent an invoice for the 1hr he was there!
1 hour!
k up and just do your work. You're hired for your skills and expertise and to make good technical judgement. For this you are paid well, and if you're st you're out of the door pronto.Back at my old work a few of us were having a tea break and we were having a discussion about who had the shortest contract. One guy piped up saying that a manager swore at him in the first hour of being at a previous employer so he just said he's not prepared to be spoken to like a piece of dirt and sent an invoice for the 1hr he was there!
1 hour!
Works drinks, from 5:30, one woman got drunk within an hour. Posh bar staff refused to give her any more booze, she kicked up a fuss and threatened them. Coppers were called, took her out of the bar, had to carry her and she ended up showing nexct weeks washing - which wasnt good. One young girl apoligised to the coppers and said she wold put her co worker into a taxi, they said ok. One copper put her hand on the drunks shoulder and said that her friend would see her to a taxi. The drunk said 'dont patronise me' and thumped the copper in the face, so the only ride was to the nick.
The drunk got sacked.
The drunk got sacked.
Nanook said:
If he's good, he'll find another job.
He is, he did - still, a ballsy move.At one of my previous employers I was asked to make a mod to a job in CAD. When I went in, I found that that the last person who worked on it had included in the laser cut panel an etching along the lines of "(bosses name) is a w
ker" within the nested components. This was in a spare waste part of the timber that would never make it the factory so would never be seen by anyone other than the supplier of the parts, but the company were paying every time to get this etched in.When I went to the cad manager they told me that the person was made redundant 3 years previously. I found a few other jobs by the same guy with the same issue. Very subtle, but long term - not sure whether an idiot or clever...
I worked with a pathological liar for 28 years I could write a book of stupid lies. He would lie about anything for no reason even when the truth was the better option he would still tell lies. It didn't help he was a nasty spiteful man as well so his lies were often malicious. But a few auto related ones were his 62 mpg TD5 Discovery, His BMW E30 323i which he claims he could drive along at 70mph in top gear and floor the throttle and do a rolling burn out, He towed a caravan from the North East to the South coast every year for his holidays claimed he could do it in about 3 hours because "I have a special route no one else knows about" etc etc etc.
Ambleton said:
He is, he did - still, a ballsy move.
At one of my previous employers I was asked to make a mod to a job in CAD. When I went in, I found that that the last person who worked on it had included in the laser cut panel an etching along the lines of "(bosses name) is a wker" within the nested components. This was in a spare waste part of the timber that would never make it the factory so would never be seen by anyone other than the supplier of the parts, but the company were paying every time to get this etched in.
When I went to the cad manager they told me that the person was made redundant 3 years previously. I found a few other jobs by the same guy with the same issue. Very subtle, but long term - not sure whether an idiot or clever...
We make pub/restaurant furniture. A lot of stuff that gets sent back to us for disposal or refurb has things like "Neil is a At one of my previous employers I was asked to make a mod to a job in CAD. When I went in, I found that that the last person who worked on it had included in the laser cut panel an etching along the lines of "(bosses name) is a w
ker" within the nested components. This was in a spare waste part of the timber that would never make it the factory so would never be seen by anyone other than the supplier of the parts, but the company were paying every time to get this etched in.When I went to the cad manager they told me that the person was made redundant 3 years previously. I found a few other jobs by the same guy with the same issue. Very subtle, but long term - not sure whether an idiot or clever...
" written under the upholstery or just a sketch of a penis or something like thatAmbleton said:
In the world of design engineer contractors the general rule is do as your told, don't kick up too much of a fuss, don't fk up and just do your work. You're hired for your skills and expertise and to make good technical judgement. For this you are paid well, and if you're st you're out of the door pronto.
Back at my old work a few of us were having a tea break and we were having a discussion about who had the shortest contract. One guy piped up saying that a manager swore at him in the first hour of being at a previous employer so he just said he's not prepared to be spoken to like a piece of dirt and sent an invoice for the 1hr he was there!
1 hour!
He'd last about 1 minute in car sales!k up and just do your work. You're hired for your skills and expertise and to make good technical judgement. For this you are paid well, and if you're st you're out of the door pronto.Back at my old work a few of us were having a tea break and we were having a discussion about who had the shortest contract. One guy piped up saying that a manager swore at him in the first hour of being at a previous employer so he just said he's not prepared to be spoken to like a piece of dirt and sent an invoice for the 1hr he was there!
1 hour!
mickthemechanic said:
I worked with a pathological liar for 28 years I could write a book of stupid lies. He would lie about anything for no reason even when the truth was the better option he would still tell lies. It didn't help he was a nasty spiteful man as well so his lies were often malicious. But a few auto related ones were his 62 mpg TD5 Discovery, His BMW E30 323i which he claims he could drive along at 70mph in top gear and floor the throttle and do a rolling burn out, He towed a caravan from the North East to the South coast every year for his holidays claimed he could do it in about 3 hours because "I have a special route no one else knows about" etc etc etc.
Worked with one of those, he was a raging alcoholic too. His mates where always taking him out in their Veyrons and the like. Weird part was his previous company MD was friends with ours, clearly never even bothered asking him if he was a nutjob. We had a joint Christmas party with them one year, the bloke in question came up "oh yea, alcoholic Andy". Apparently he'd only lasted a couple of months at the last place too.
I've had one member of staff get thrown out of the pub on a Friday lunchtime, only for him to walk back to the office and chunder all over the foyer as he strolled back in.
As a contractor I once had a manager yell at me that as a contractor I'd do whatever the fk I was told to do. The entire office laughed at him when I told him to go and see HR and ask them to talk to my agent if he wanted to change my contract.
I've also had a couple of run ins with H&S. One spent five minutes shouting at me for lifting heavy weights when I'd not been on a manual handling course. At the end of his five minute rant I pointed out that I'd spent the last five minutes twiddling the heavy weight between my thumb and forefinger, therefore it wasn't heavy.
As a contractor I once had a manager yell at me that as a contractor I'd do whatever the f
k I was told to do. The entire office laughed at him when I told him to go and see HR and ask them to talk to my agent if he wanted to change my contract.I've also had a couple of run ins with H&S. One spent five minutes shouting at me for lifting heavy weights when I'd not been on a manual handling course. At the end of his five minute rant I pointed out that I'd spent the last five minutes twiddling the heavy weight between my thumb and forefinger, therefore it wasn't heavy.
NeMiSiS said:
Oggie the guy who came around each section to collect the bins was a little hard of thinking. He liked to tell everyone how strong he was, and this was his usual/only topic of conversation.
One day I said " Can you lift your own body weight? "
" Of course I can " he said.
So I asked him to step into an empty bin, grab each handle and pull yourself up, he tried this more than once, pulling so hard on the bin handles that he went purple, the handles when he had finished were completely out of shape.
As he left - shaking his head, he shouted from his truck, " I can do it in the gym...."
Classic.
Surely everyone can lift their own bodyweight or you'd be stuck to the floor One day I said " Can you lift your own body weight? "
" Of course I can " he said.
So I asked him to step into an empty bin, grab each handle and pull yourself up, he tried this more than once, pulling so hard on the bin handles that he went purple, the handles when he had finished were completely out of shape.
As he left - shaking his head, he shouted from his truck, " I can do it in the gym...."
Classic.
My old boss used to have the SAS drink in his old pub apparently & one evening a official looking guy came in and the pub went quiet as about 15 blokes then left to go to the gulf or somewhere. That is the only mind numbing story I can remotely remember as I bleached my mind of his tripe.
Many years ago I worked in a callcenter in financial sales. They've gone bankrupt since about half a dozen times and reopened in the same building as another name, so you can tell how 'professional' they are.
Anyway, typical high testosterone type sales floor. Loads of bullstters there. One guy in particular, compulsive liar. He used to claim to bare knuckle fight gypsies in his spare time, although I recall one story where apparently he beat up 3 (or was it 4) bouncers hence his black eye. His mrs told a colleague he got pissed and walked into a door.
Same guy once told us all in a team meeting (how the hell he was in management I will never know) that if we ever messed with him, he would put weed in out pocket and take us to HR. I told HR, he wasn't a manager the following day.
His manager, proper David Brent type, once threatened to use his shotgun on a staff member. Same creep once got a girl I was seeing in his office and shouted at her asking her whether we were sleeping together (she had refused this married chaps offer to take her for dinner numerous times).
Same chap once stood in a meeting telling us all that we were all telemarketers and nothing more, and he was the boss and we should all know our place. He works for a car dealership his dad manages now. Go figure.
I've got loads of stories of lines of coke being taken in the toilets, senior managers ordering coke to be delivered to the office on a friday afternoon etc.
Anyway, typical high testosterone type sales floor. Loads of bulls
tters there. One guy in particular, compulsive liar. He used to claim to bare knuckle fight gypsies in his spare time, although I recall one story where apparently he beat up 3 (or was it 4) bouncers hence his black eye. His mrs told a colleague he got pissed and walked into a door.Same guy once told us all in a team meeting (how the hell he was in management I will never know) that if we ever messed with him, he would put weed in out pocket and take us to HR. I told HR, he wasn't a manager the following day.
His manager, proper David Brent type, once threatened to use his shotgun on a staff member. Same creep once got a girl I was seeing in his office and shouted at her asking her whether we were sleeping together (she had refused this married chaps offer to take her for dinner numerous times).
Same chap once stood in a meeting telling us all that we were all telemarketers and nothing more, and he was the boss and we should all know our place. He works for a car dealership his dad manages now. Go figure.
I've got loads of stories of lines of coke being taken in the toilets, senior managers ordering coke to be delivered to the office on a friday afternoon etc.
Once worked with a chap who was reasonably senior, but something of a t**t.
Two memorable events. First, he said something nasty about one bloke's wife, said bloke just turned and punched him square on the nose. He hit the floor quite hard, shouted he was sacked as the director saw it all. Director came out of his room (presumably heard what the t**t had said, and responded "didn't see a thing" and walked off)
Second time, he was abusive towards a young lady. Unfortunately, what he didn't know because she was new, is young lady had a boyfriend. Who was something of a boxer/MMA/something or other. Within 20 mins of him being abusive, he got a call from reception, boyfriend was asking for him to come outside "for a chat".... He hid in the office.. And apologised to said young lady. A lot....
I should add, he was about 5ft 5" tall as well......
Two memorable events. First, he said something nasty about one bloke's wife, said bloke just turned and punched him square on the nose. He hit the floor quite hard, shouted he was sacked as the director saw it all. Director came out of his room (presumably heard what the t**t had said, and responded "didn't see a thing" and walked off)
Second time, he was abusive towards a young lady. Unfortunately, what he didn't know because she was new, is young lady had a boyfriend. Who was something of a boxer/MMA/something or other. Within 20 mins of him being abusive, he got a call from reception, boyfriend was asking for him to come outside "for a chat".... He hid in the office.. And apologised to said young lady. A lot....
I should add, he was about 5ft 5" tall as well......
I worked with this bloke, Pete Taylor....
http://www.getreading.co.uk/news/local-news/pair-l...
He was an odd chap but reasonably pleasant. We always knew he was a bit of nutter, slightly unhinged, hence his nickname 'Psycho Pete'.
What do I win??
http://www.getreading.co.uk/news/local-news/pair-l...
He was an odd chap but reasonably pleasant. We always knew he was a bit of nutter, slightly unhinged, hence his nickname 'Psycho Pete'.
What do I win??
Nutters worked with -
Sarah Williams..............
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3741881/Sa...
Sarah Williams..............
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3741881/Sa...
Kev_Mk3 said:
Nutters worked with -
Sarah Williams..............
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3741881/Sa...
Just be glad you never had a fling with herSarah Williams..............
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3741881/Sa...
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