What age for kids and social media.
Discussion
Hi everyone, what age do you think is suitable to let your children use social media or even have a smartphone or social media device?
I was thinking specifically of instagram snapchat and facebbook.
I know they should be outside building tree houses and finding porn in bushes and setting fire to stuff but what do you all think?
I was thinking specifically of instagram snapchat and facebbook.
I know they should be outside building tree houses and finding porn in bushes and setting fire to stuff but what do you all think?
facebook has a minmum age requirement of 13 i think - not sure how many people stick to it but could be a fair guide.
Are they asking already? - i would be tempted to offer to set up all the accounts, keeping usernames and passwords noted down somewhere safe and also create the profiles as locked down and private as possible.
If they don't have a smart phone already, they do have a distinct advantage for parents - they can be tracked and thus know where they are at all times.
how old we talking?
Are they asking already? - i would be tempted to offer to set up all the accounts, keeping usernames and passwords noted down somewhere safe and also create the profiles as locked down and private as possible.
If they don't have a smart phone already, they do have a distinct advantage for parents - they can be tracked and thus know where they are at all times.
how old we talking?
Im introducing my twins to it slowly ( 10yr old - no smart phones )
Currently have google hangouts with all the family members on it on a managed user chromebook.
as they prove themselves responsible to type messages that have correct grammar and syntax, treating other kids we slowly add to their hangouts with respect i will open up more and more of the internet to them.
lots of effort and monitoring.. but i feel im doing the internet a favor by doing this
Currently have google hangouts with all the family members on it on a managed user chromebook.
as they prove themselves responsible to type messages that have correct grammar and syntax, treating other kids we slowly add to their hangouts with respect i will open up more and more of the internet to them.
lots of effort and monitoring.. but i feel im doing the internet a favor by doing this
I think it depends on the kid myself and how mature he/she is.
My oldest is 12 and all his friends all use snapchat and instagram. He's got my old iPhone as he does a lot of activities after school and I need to arrange to pick him up.
He's got instagram but with rules about not posting photos and emo stuff about family etc. Seems we've had some incidents at school with mums getting involved in what the kids post and pissing each other off.
I gave my middle one instagram and he got banned after about a week after using it just to annoy his brother and his mates.
Then I get other parents complaining about some kids having it and theirs wanting it but not being allowed till they're 15 or whatever, they're often the ones who don't have a clue about how any of it works though.
I see the same issues with my sons xbox and some of his friends having 200 random strangers as friends and all the restrictions off as the parents clearly don't know about what's going on.
I'm currently trying to figure out what snapchat is and if it's going to cause me problems.
My oldest is 12 and all his friends all use snapchat and instagram. He's got my old iPhone as he does a lot of activities after school and I need to arrange to pick him up.
He's got instagram but with rules about not posting photos and emo stuff about family etc. Seems we've had some incidents at school with mums getting involved in what the kids post and pissing each other off.
I gave my middle one instagram and he got banned after about a week after using it just to annoy his brother and his mates.
Then I get other parents complaining about some kids having it and theirs wanting it but not being allowed till they're 15 or whatever, they're often the ones who don't have a clue about how any of it works though.
I see the same issues with my sons xbox and some of his friends having 200 random strangers as friends and all the restrictions off as the parents clearly don't know about what's going on.
I'm currently trying to figure out what snapchat is and if it's going to cause me problems.
Edited by el stovey on Wednesday 21st September 11:10
el stovey said:
I think it depends on the kid myself and how mature he/she is.
My oldest is 12 and all his friends all use snapchat and instagram. He's got my old iPhone as he does a lot of activities after school and I need to arrange to pick him up.
He's got instagram but with rules about not posting photos and emo stuff about family etc. Seems we've had some incidents at school with mums getting involved in what the kids post and pissing each other off.
I gave my middle one instagram and he got banned after about a week after using it just to annoy his brother and his mates.
Then I get other parents complaining about some kids having it and theirs wanting it but not being allowed till they're 15 or whatever, they're often the ones who don't have a clue about how any of it works though.
I see that same with my sons xbox and some of his friends having 200 friends and all the restrictions off as the parents don't know how any of it works.
This is currently our biggest challenge.My oldest is 12 and all his friends all use snapchat and instagram. He's got my old iPhone as he does a lot of activities after school and I need to arrange to pick him up.
He's got instagram but with rules about not posting photos and emo stuff about family etc. Seems we've had some incidents at school with mums getting involved in what the kids post and pissing each other off.
I gave my middle one instagram and he got banned after about a week after using it just to annoy his brother and his mates.
Then I get other parents complaining about some kids having it and theirs wanting it but not being allowed till they're 15 or whatever, they're often the ones who don't have a clue about how any of it works though.
I see that same with my sons xbox and some of his friends having 200 friends and all the restrictions off as the parents don't know how any of it works.
My oldest was never so bothered (although he does have a twitter account and specialises in trolling Alistair Campbell) but my daughter is 13 and lives on there.
On the plus side she recently changed schools and various of the social media things were a massive help as she was able to link up with friends of friends so that when she started she already had a social circle.
On the negative the b
hing and backstabbing (some of which could definitely qualify as bullying) is horrendous.I also have to remind myself what we were like at 13 - the phone just gives them a new way to express all this stuff, it isn't a fundamental change in the way teenagers behave.
She uses Instagram, snapchat and imessage - all of which we have access to but only check when there is an issue. These are also the first things that are removed should punishment be required.
We have had incidents with parents who thought their kid was on the end of something out of order. In general there is some pretty s
tty stuff sent, but it cuts both ways.But overall it's a bit of a nightmare.
That was more of a ramble than advice sorry - so the advice would be - it's the way of the world and we can't change it, just try your best to encourage responsible use and have set times with no phone. Kids will say and do stupid things so no point going ballistic over something that you wouldn't have known about if it was in the playground.
Snapchat - I think I'm too old for it.
I have it, but I think that really it is better suited to single people who are hoping to get a discreet bit of boob action from some other singletons they are chatting up, in a picture that self destructs after a pre-determined time period. However, its very easy for the receiver of the photo to circumvent that by using the screen shot feature on their phone, from what I understand.
Instagram - I use it for the other club I run on occasion, sharing photos via the club facebook page, seems to get us some more hits etc but again, I don't use it for my personal stuff.
Facebook - age restrictions are set at 13. I think that there are parental controls built in to that as well IIRC, and you can prevent them from having anyone over the age of 18 as their friend without pre-approval (so they can add their aunts etc, but not that weirdo from down the road) and their profiles won't be visible to anyone that you don't approve etc.
I have it, but I think that really it is better suited to single people who are hoping to get a discreet bit of boob action from some other singletons they are chatting up, in a picture that self destructs after a pre-determined time period. However, its very easy for the receiver of the photo to circumvent that by using the screen shot feature on their phone, from what I understand.
Instagram - I use it for the other club I run on occasion, sharing photos via the club facebook page, seems to get us some more hits etc but again, I don't use it for my personal stuff.
Facebook - age restrictions are set at 13. I think that there are parental controls built in to that as well IIRC, and you can prevent them from having anyone over the age of 18 as their friend without pre-approval (so they can add their aunts etc, but not that weirdo from down the road) and their profiles won't be visible to anyone that you don't approve etc.
about snap chat - it is a bit difficult as you don't get the full audit trail, which i think is why it is so popular.
kids use it as it is flexible and is easy to use for "group chats" - and to be frank I don't really want to read all my 13 yr olds texts, no good will ever come of that.
my own standpoint is that at 13 kids need a bit of independence and privacy and that the parents need to provide a guiding hand rather than lock it down completely.
I appreciate that others may feel differently but that's my take on it.
kids use it as it is flexible and is easy to use for "group chats" - and to be frank I don't really want to read all my 13 yr olds texts, no good will ever come of that.
my own standpoint is that at 13 kids need a bit of independence and privacy and that the parents need to provide a guiding hand rather than lock it down completely.
I appreciate that others may feel differently but that's my take on it.
I bought my nephew his first proper smart phone for Christmas just before he turned 11, it was a windows phone and was used to see if he could be trusted to look after it and not slip into being nose-deep in social media every hour of the day. He proved he can so now I have bought an iPhone for him which provides (percieved) more social media interaction and he seems to manage it all quite well (now 12)
He is quite prolific on snapchat and whatsapp, less so on insta and facebook, the latter being very much viewed as uncool as his parents use it, I have no doubt it'll get him into trouble at some point (as prolific life documenting has a tendency to) but that's all just part of growing up in the current generation I think
He is quite prolific on snapchat and whatsapp, less so on insta and facebook, the latter being very much viewed as uncool as his parents use it, I have no doubt it'll get him into trouble at some point (as prolific life documenting has a tendency to) but that's all just part of growing up in the current generation I think
Shakermaker said:
Snapchat - I think I'm too old for it.
I have it, but I think that really it is better suited to single people who are hoping to get a discreet bit of boob action from some other singletons they are chatting up, in a picture that self destructs after a pre-determined time period. However, its very easy for the receiver of the photo to circumvent that by using the screen shot feature on their phone, from what I understand.
You're right! Our of every single social network or messaging app you can get on the phone Snapchat is the only one designed to delete everything by default rather than save it.I have it, but I think that really it is better suited to single people who are hoping to get a discreet bit of boob action from some other singletons they are chatting up, in a picture that self destructs after a pre-determined time period. However, its very easy for the receiver of the photo to circumvent that by using the screen shot feature on their phone, from what I understand.
Instagram, iMessage, Facebook etc.. they all store everything so if you wanted to have a look just to make sure everything was ok, you can. On snapchat all history is gone after a few seconds so you can't police anything. Snapchat is the only app I wouldn't allow.
An extreme situation I know of - my wife's youngest sister is just turning 16, lives at home and still isn't allowed Instagram!! When I was a kid I never had my phone taken off me as I wasn't bothered by it, but my younger sister was constantly being banned from her phone for texting older boys or whatever.
Good luck! Kids are difficult. haha
i like wickr me - https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com....
set messages to self destruct at 2secs or less and people cant screenshot it fast enough
set messages to self destruct at 2secs or less and people cant screenshot it fast enough
Oh and also, some apps are designed to look entirely innocent but are photo sharing apps as well, but the screen icon is called something like "Calculator" and has the calculator looking sign on it, just in order to be more secretive and go unnoticed by parents looking at the phone.
There is (or at least, there was) a smartphone app that you can install as a parent which forces the child to call you and locks down the rest of the phone unless they make contact with you, and you need a pin code to access that as well so the child can't delete it.
All depends how snooper-ish you want to be I suppose.
There is (or at least, there was) a smartphone app that you can install as a parent which forces the child to call you and locks down the rest of the phone unless they make contact with you, and you need a pin code to access that as well so the child can't delete it.
All depends how snooper-ish you want to be I suppose.
Shakermaker said:
Oh and also, some apps are designed to look entirely innocent but are photo sharing apps as well, but the screen icon is called something like "Calculator" and has the calculator looking sign on it, just in order to be more secretive and go unnoticed by parents looking at the phone.
There is (or at least, there was) a smartphone app that you can install as a parent which forces the child to call you and locks down the rest of the phone unless they make contact with you, and you need a pin code to access that as well so the child can't delete it.
All depends how snooper-ish you want to be I suppose.
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com....There is (or at least, there was) a smartphone app that you can install as a parent which forces the child to call you and locks down the rest of the phone unless they make contact with you, and you need a pin code to access that as well so the child can't delete it.
All depends how snooper-ish you want to be I suppose.
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com....
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com....
desolate said:
el stovey said:
I think it depends on the kid myself and how mature he/she is.
My oldest is 12 and all his friends all use snapchat and instagram. He's got my old iPhone as he does a lot of activities after school and I need to arrange to pick him up.
He's got instagram but with rules about not posting photos and emo stuff about family etc. Seems we've had some incidents at school with mums getting involved in what the kids post and pissing each other off.
I gave my middle one instagram and he got banned after about a week after using it just to annoy his brother and his mates.
Then I get other parents complaining about some kids having it and theirs wanting it but not being allowed till they're 15 or whatever, they're often the ones who don't have a clue about how any of it works though.
I see that same with my sons xbox and some of his friends having 200 friends and all the restrictions off as the parents don't know how any of it works.
This is currently our biggest challenge.My oldest is 12 and all his friends all use snapchat and instagram. He's got my old iPhone as he does a lot of activities after school and I need to arrange to pick him up.
He's got instagram but with rules about not posting photos and emo stuff about family etc. Seems we've had some incidents at school with mums getting involved in what the kids post and pissing each other off.
I gave my middle one instagram and he got banned after about a week after using it just to annoy his brother and his mates.
Then I get other parents complaining about some kids having it and theirs wanting it but not being allowed till they're 15 or whatever, they're often the ones who don't have a clue about how any of it works though.
I see that same with my sons xbox and some of his friends having 200 friends and all the restrictions off as the parents don't know how any of it works.
My oldest was never so bothered (although he does have a twitter account and specialises in trolling Alistair Campbell) but my daughter is 13 and lives on there.
On the plus side she recently changed schools and various of the social media things were a massive help as she was able to link up with friends of friends so that when she started she already had a social circle.
On the negative the b
hing and backstabbing (some of which could definitely qualify as bullying) is horrendous.I also have to remind myself what we were like at 13 - the phone just gives them a new way to express all this stuff, it isn't a fundamental change in the way teenagers behave.
She uses Instagram, snapchat and imessage - all of which we have access to but only check when there is an issue. These are also the first things that are removed should punishment be required.
We have had incidents with parents who thought their kid was on the end of something out of order. In general there is some pretty s
tty stuff sent, but it cuts both ways.But overall it's a bit of a nightmare.
That was more of a ramble than advice sorry - so the advice would be - it's the way of the world and we can't change it, just try your best to encourage responsible use and have set times with no phone. Kids will say and do stupid things so no point going ballistic over something that you wouldn't have known about if it was in the playground.
It's such a difficult balancing act and if we come out of this without our daughter hating us but having let her communicate in broadly the same way as her peers I'll be happy. I try hard to be the laid-back, "you can tell me anything" dad but you obviously worry about the risks.
My son is 8 and heavily into gaming. He's desperate to use the xbox online but that's a no-no for a number of years.
Son is 10 so year 6, he asked if he could have Instagram on his iPad a few months back and we allowed it, although we also had access from our devices so could check what he was upto. He was bored of it within a few weeks and hasn't been on since.
All messages were to school friends, with various "you fancy so-and-so", "no I don't", "yes you do"... Plus a few photos shared of famous footballers and supercars.
He has a phone now, which might have been classed as smart 5 years ago but definitely isn't now, and takes this with him when he goes to the park next to our house with his friends, and sits in the bottom of his school bag just in case it's ever needed.
I was pretty adamant that he wouldn't have a phone until he went to senior school and was getting the bus, but have to say I feel better letting him go out and play knowing he can get hold of me if needs be and vice versa. Telling your son to "come back every now and again to let us know you're ok", is a complete waste of breath. But he does answer the phone
I think kids see FB as old hat now, he's never mentioned wanting to use it. Snapchat I'm sure will be requested soon, but I'm not one for being overly restrictive to him using stuff his mates all use, it just causes resentment and rebelliousness if my childhood is any indication.
Teach them common sense and decency and hopefully they will be socially responsible. You can't wrap them in cotton wool and that includes social media, you can teach them what's right and wrong in terms of what they're viewing and posting.
Slightly OT but I did laugh the other day when his iPad search history popped up on mine for some reason - family sharing presumably. Anyway, in amongst the Minecraft and Pokemon Go searches was "cute girls"
When I asked him about it the explanation was very innocent and they were actually looking for who would be a suitable popstar girlfriend for a story him and his friend were making up. I explained to him that his search criteria needs to be a bit more specific, because Google might have a different definition (certainly does on my devices
) and the results might be a little more revealing than he was expecting. The wide eyed look on his face as he agreed made it clear that he hadn't quite got the results he was after 
It also made me realise how apparently out of touch I am with cute popstars. When I said "what, like Taylor Swift?" I just got a disgusted shake of the head.
All messages were to school friends, with various "you fancy so-and-so", "no I don't", "yes you do"... Plus a few photos shared of famous footballers and supercars.
He has a phone now, which might have been classed as smart 5 years ago but definitely isn't now, and takes this with him when he goes to the park next to our house with his friends, and sits in the bottom of his school bag just in case it's ever needed.
I was pretty adamant that he wouldn't have a phone until he went to senior school and was getting the bus, but have to say I feel better letting him go out and play knowing he can get hold of me if needs be and vice versa. Telling your son to "come back every now and again to let us know you're ok", is a complete waste of breath. But he does answer the phone
I think kids see FB as old hat now, he's never mentioned wanting to use it. Snapchat I'm sure will be requested soon, but I'm not one for being overly restrictive to him using stuff his mates all use, it just causes resentment and rebelliousness if my childhood is any indication.
Teach them common sense and decency and hopefully they will be socially responsible. You can't wrap them in cotton wool and that includes social media, you can teach them what's right and wrong in terms of what they're viewing and posting.
Slightly OT but I did laugh the other day when his iPad search history popped up on mine for some reason - family sharing presumably. Anyway, in amongst the Minecraft and Pokemon Go searches was "cute girls"
When I asked him about it the explanation was very innocent and they were actually looking for who would be a suitable popstar girlfriend for a story him and his friend were making up. I explained to him that his search criteria needs to be a bit more specific, because Google might have a different definition (certainly does on my devices
) and the results might be a little more revealing than he was expecting. The wide eyed look on his face as he agreed made it clear that he hadn't quite got the results he was after It also made me realise how apparently out of touch I am with cute popstars. When I said "what, like Taylor Swift?" I just got a disgusted shake of the head.
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