Why Can't Women Stop Yacking?

[Clive-sz8cz]

I'm sitting in my home office looking out the window at a car that is parked across my driveway while an aged female pedestrian is bent down at an awkward angle to peer in the passenger window, while the middle-aged female driver is sprawled at a very uncomfortable angle across the front seats while they have a 30 minute conversation. I think they are neighbours from further up the road. Why on earth don't they meet for a coffee and talk in comfort, or are they too busy to do that because they are both at the chiropractor's getting their spines realigned?

Bizarre.

[AlexC1981]

That would involve going to an expensive coffee shop or inviting the other into their home, which is a no no because they haven't done the hoovering yet.

[Potatoes]

[Speed addicted]

It's been proven that women fart less often than men.

It's thought that this is because they can't keep their mouths closed long enough to build up the required pressure.

[Vipers]

My OH said earlier today "What would you like for Christmas"

I said "An hours silence",..................... (Fat chance I thought).

[WD39]

Vipers said:

My OH said earlier today "What would you like for Christmas"

I said "An hours silence",..................... (Fat chance I thought).

Like Vincent and Mia in 'Pulp Fiction', we often have 'comfortable silences'. Essential in any relationship.

[soad]

Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver.

[Iva Barchetta]

Clive-sz8cz said:

I'm sitting in my home office looking out the window at a car that is parked across my driveway while an aged female pedestrian is bent down at an awkward angle to peer in the passenger window, while the middle-aged female driver is sprawled at a very uncomfortable angle across the front seats while they have a 30 minute conversation. I think they are neighbours from further up the road. Why on earth don't they meet for a coffee and talk in comfort, or are they too busy to do that because they are both at the chiropractor's getting their spines realigned?

Bizarre.

OP is just....because the yackfest is happening across his driveway.

[HTP99]

A friend of the wifes will pop round with something "oh I can't stay long, got to dash" they then chat for half an hour across the open front door; wife inside, friend outside, FFS just come in and shut the door, especially with the heating going ballistic as all the cold air from outside is wafting in.

Then when finally the conversation is finished and they have spent an age saying goodbye, the wife will whack the heating up because "it's cold in here", arghhhhhh!!

[Jimmy Recard]

HTP99 said:

all the cold air from outside is wafting in.

My Physics teacher at school was very particular when people said that - he would always say it was actually the warm air leaving rather than vice versa.


I hadn't thought about that since his Physics lessons

[PorkInsider]

Jimmy Recard said:

My Physics teacher at school was very particular when people said that - he would always say it was actually the warm air leaving rather than vice versa.


I hadn't thought about that since his Physics lessons

And what did he say was replacing the warm air which was leaving?

[PositronicRay]

I get

Mrs PR.............You need to do x
Me.................OK
Mrs PR.............Because....because....because......because
Me.................OK I'm doing x now
Mrs PR.............Because......because.......because
Me.................Silence
Mrs PR.............Because.....because......because
Me.................Silence (having sat down after finishing task)
Mrs PR.............I remember the time you left x too late then we didn't have time....because...because

[vikingaero]

Things I don't understand:

Why Mrs V. calls up her friend to arrange a girly lunch and catch up, when 3 hours later they are still on the phone?

[WD39]

vikingaero said:

Things I don't understand:

Why Mrs V. calls up her friend to arrange a girly lunch and catch up, when 3 hours later they are still on the phone?

In our shop we sell a humorous card which is entitled 'man on phone'. It pictures a guy and answering a call.

He says 'Hello, Nope, Yup, See ya.'

That is the difference between us and the ladies

[Speed addicted]

Matt UK said:

It's weird isn't it - it's as if they have to communicate every thought and opinion on every subject that comes into their minds at that moment in time!

But you have a boys night out and they don't understand that nothing really was discussed...

So how was the night?
Yeah, really good thanks.
Is Simon still working in Canning Town?
Umm I'm not sure actually.
Oh. Well How's his wife Sarah? And their little one, must be 17 months old now?
Uh, yeah, everything's fine. Yes, definitively all good.
... So what else?
Err nothing really...
So what did you all talk about?!
Well, I'm not actually sure..
But you said it was really good!
It was, really enjoyed it!
... Did you just spend the evening just taking the piss out of each other like you did at Julia's wedding reception?!
Well, we had some good laughs, but I wouldn't go that far, you make it sound like we're school kids..
But why don't you find out more about each other's lives? Share your hopes and dreams, support each other with things that you find difficult??
Sure... we do that... It's just sort of.. different.. And hard to remember the specifics..
Well it seems like a wasted night...
Ah, we're out of milk... <grabs keys, wallet and dog lead>

This!

I regularly get quizzed about how everyones family is doing (didn't ask, they didn't bring it up so probably ok), how their work is doing (see family) etc
We can have a perfectly good night in the pub without discussing anything significant at all.

I've got to the stage of telling her to phone them for info as it would save me the interrogation as soon as I get my slightly sozzled self home.

[Moonhawk]

Vipers said:

My OH said earlier today "What would you like for Christmas"

I said "An hours silence or a pet dragon",..................... the wife replied: "what colour dragon".

Edited for comic effect

[Moonhawk]

vikingaero said:

Things I don't understand:

Why Mrs V. calls up her friend to arrange a girly lunch and catch up, when 3 hours later they are still on the phone?

My wife does that - rings her mum to say she is popping round for a cuppa - then spends 45 minutes on the phone chatting before actually going.

[fttm]

Can hear my wife in her office right now Skyping her sister , 90 mins and counting Edit , 135 mins and still yacking .She's finished

Edited by fttm on Sunday 30th October 20:18

Edited by fttm on Sunday 30th October 20:54

[Evolved]

soad said:

Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver.

[Shakermaker]

Speed addicted said:

Matt UK said:

It's weird isn't it - it's as if they have to communicate every thought and opinion on every subject that comes into their minds at that moment in time!

But you have a boys night out and they don't understand that nothing really was discussed...

So how was the night?
Yeah, really good thanks.
Is Simon still working in Canning Town?
Umm I'm not sure actually.
Oh. Well How's his wife Sarah? And their little one, must be 17 months old now?
Uh, yeah, everything's fine. Yes, definitively all good.
... So what else?
Err nothing really...
So what did you all talk about?!
Well, I'm not actually sure..
But you said it was really good!
It was, really enjoyed it!
... Did you just spend the evening just taking the piss out of each other like you did at Julia's wedding reception?!
Well, we had some good laughs, but I wouldn't go that far, you make it sound like we're school kids..
But why don't you find out more about each other's lives? Share your hopes and dreams, support each other with things that you find difficult??
Sure... we do that... It's just sort of.. different.. And hard to remember the specifics..
Well it seems like a wasted night...
Ah, we're out of milk... <grabs keys, wallet and dog lead>

This!

I regularly get quizzed about how everyones family is doing (didn't ask, they didn't bring it up so probably ok), how their work is doing (see family) etc
We can have a perfectly good night in the pub without discussing anything significant at all.

I've got to the stage of telling her to phone them for info as it would save me the interrogation as soon as I get my slightly sozzled self home.

I also get this.

One time, once, I had some significant news about another person, big news, they were moving abroad and a party was set for their departure.

She already knew that, because she'd had a text from one of the other wives/girlfriends who had a chance encounter with said person, so I didn't have anything new to tell her, and this was bad.

Its not as if I am going to tell her that we spent 45 minutes flirting with the barmaid and her mate, and then another hour telling our mate who's wife is pregnant which are the best adult sites to visit when he needs some relief, interspersed with alan partridge quotes. Apparently that isn't a night out.

And also the same with the phone thing - She got a call on Thursday evening at 7.10 from a friend she was meeting at 8. She then spent 20 minutes on the phone to this friend meaning that at 7.30 she then only had 15 minutes to get ready before she had to go otherwise she would be late, when she wanted half an hour and had just been about to get ready when the phone call came in. The subject on the phone call was "what are you wearing this evening" and I tried suggesting that could have been discussed with a text message between them but her friend doesn't like texts apparently, she likes the yap on and on and on.