house, dog, 3 cars, university education and 40K

[SplatSpeed]

well that's it it is over and finally agreed the settlement. got decree Nisi after 23 years.

she gets all of the above. i get both families and my freedom

it's over

[Du1point8]

so after 23 years she got everything and you have to start again?

And you are happy just for the freedom?

[mjb1]

Did you get anything? Are there kids involved?

[SplatSpeed]

Du1point8 said:

so after 23 years she got everything and you have to start again?

And you are happy just for the freedom?

its worthy it, i can earn that back with out the ball and chain around my neck dragging me down.

i am happy with it

[SplatSpeed]

mjb1 said:

Did you get anything? Are there kids involved?

got the other house and 100 k mortgage after all this.

and not future payments or liabilities, which is the main point i wanted.

and i dont have a gagging order!

[Sycamore]

Could've hired a hitman for 5% of all that.

[SplatSpeed]

Sycamore said:

Could've hired a hitman for 5% of all that.

yeah i know, but it is my daughters mother. so explaining to my little girl i had her mum killed to save a few bob, is a hard one to sell. unless i go 50% 50%

[alorotom]

Totally get where you're coming from

In my nisi agreement I took 20k debt, while she got the car, belongings everything of any value ... was totally worth it in my eyes as the freedom was worth so much more

[Ari]

alorotom said:

Totally get where you're coming from

In my nisi agreement I took 20k debt, while she got the car, belongings everything of any value ... was totally worth it in my eyes as the freedom was worth so much more

Why? Surely you'd still get the freedom after a fairer split.

[thebraketester]

There doesn't seem to be such thing as a fair split these days. The snakes seem to get their extra pound of flesh one way or another.

[frankbullitt]

out of interest how much were the solicitors' bills, and how long start to finish?

[TheHighlander]

SplatSpeed said:

yeah i know, but it is my daughters mother. so explaining to my little girl i had her mum killed to save a few bob, is a hard one to sell. unless i go 50% 50%

It least you considered it

[Ari]

thebraketester said:

There doesn't seem to be such thing as a fair split these days. The snakes seem to get their extra pound of flesh one way or another.

I'm not sure that's actually true.

Went through it with a friend recently. Very switched on solicitor, reckoned that things were far fairer now than has traditionally been the case (financially and with regard to childcare).

Friend ended up with an exact 50/50 slit of equity in marital home (wasn't much else to be divided).

[alorotom]

Ari said:

Why? Surely you'd still get the freedom after a fairer split.

Depends on the personal price of time to me ... I figured give her what she wants, this was no hassling mediating and negotiating and gets the whole process done on an accelerated time frame

I could have been difficult and pushed for a real balance but also didn't want anyone looking too closely at my financial affairs either

[wack]

Ari said:

I'm not sure that's actually true.

Went through it with a friend recently. Very switched on solicitor, reckoned that things were far fairer now than has traditionally been the case (financially and with regard to childcare).

Friend ended up with an exact 50/50 slit of equity in marital home (wasn't much else to be divided).

were kids involved?

solicitors love nothing more than a good fight so it's best if you can agree on most of it before you appoint one

I got divorced in 1992, cost me £400, no kids and we agreed how everything should be divided

a friends cousin was married to an arse, he contested everything, hid as much money as he could, she spent hours wailing on the phone to her solicitor about it , when it was all settled most of her half went on solicitors bills

[King Herald]

Ari said:

alorotom said:

Totally get where you're coming from

In my nisi agreement I took 20k debt, while she got the car, belongings everything of any value ... was totally worth it in my eyes as the freedom was worth so much more

Why? Surely you'd still get the freedom after a fairer split.

Several guys I work with tell me of getting totally reamed out in divorces, both USA and U.K. but when it all comes out they basically rolled over and gave everything away! No idea why, some sort of Stockholm syndrome shyte I reckon.

One guy bewailed waking up on his mums sofa, nothing to his name, 55 years old, 'wife took the house and money'....... but then he admitted he gave it all to her? WTF???

[Echo66]

Like someone else on here I sorted my own divorce while the ex used a solicitor. Cost me £150, came out with a nice 5 fig settlement & she kept the house. Was great.

[Cotty]

alorotom said:

Depends on the personal price of time to me ... I figured give her what she wants, this was no hassling mediating and negotiating and gets the whole process done on an accelerated time frame

I suppose its a way of paying someone to leave you alone.

[Ari]

wack said:

Ari said:

I'm not sure that's actually true.

Went through it with a friend recently. Very switched on solicitor, reckoned that things were far fairer now than has traditionally been the case (financially and with regard to childcare).

Friend ended up with an exact 50/50 slit of equity in marital home (wasn't much else to be divided).

were kids involved?

solicitors love nothing more than a good fight so it's best if you can agree on most of it before you appoint one

I got divorced in 1992, cost me £400, no kids and we agreed how everything should be divided

a friends cousin was married to an arse, he contested everything, hid as much money as he could, she spent hours wailing on the phone to her solicitor about it , when it was all settled most of her half went on solicitors bills

Yes, two kids. One now lives with him, the other with her but stays with him a couple of nights a week.

And he pays her £200/month, as far as I can make out because she'll shout at him otherwise.

[Ari]

King Herald said:

Several guys I work with tell me of getting totally reamed out in divorces, both USA and U.K. but when it all comes out they basically rolled over and gave everything away! No idea why, some sort of Stockholm syndrome shyte I reckon.

One guy bewailed waking up on his mums sofa, nothing to his name, 55 years old, 'wife took the house and money'....... but then he admitted he gave it all to her? WTF???

Precisely.

Best one I heard of was a bloke who's girlfriend moved into his house. After a year or so they split up, and he gave her £10,000 (which was all he had) because she asked for it.

'Common Law Wife' see? Was relieved to keep his house.

Never mind that no such thing exists.