Husband/Wife. Are they interchangable?

[silverfoxcc]

Watching couples of same sex marriages on TV, the guys refer to each other as 'husbands' One female couple used 'wife', but on Pointless this week there was a female couple who used the term 'husband'

So are what is the correct protocol/etiquette for this, or doenst it matter?.

[Iva Barchetta]

AFAIK ,it's usually 2 wives or 2 husbands.

[Einion Yrth]

Whatever they prefer, but if you use the wrong term before you know it's the wrong term it would be pretty petty of them to go postal on you.

[dragging ass]

It is whatever they prefer .

I've a great female friend who is married to her wife and they both call each other wife. It is no faux pas to ask them politely outright if your not sure.

[Mark-C]

As for last two answers - up to the couple. Just ask them if not sure

[anonymous-user]

If unsure use there names?

Saves any hastle IME

[IanCormac]

I don't understand why a lesbian would refer to her husband if she meant her wife. I could see that leading to a lot of confusion for people in day to day life.

[FlyingMeeces]

IanCormac said:

I don't understand why a lesbian would refer to her husband if she meant her wife. I could see that leading to a lot of confusion for people in day to day life.

If the other partner were very butch/masculine, maybe, and had a load of associations with 'wife' as being feminine/submissive etc etc?

I wouldn't think it would really cause that much confusion, it's not like any married couple actually use the terms much in a situation where it's important the person they are speaking to knows their genders.

(Must add, I have a lot of lesbian friends - misspent youth in university LGBT society - and don't know anyone that does this.)

[Slushbox]

Amongst my lesbian married/civil partnership friends, 'husband/wife' is used mostly as a humourous aside. Societal labels tend to be divisive, and are often ignored or parodied.

'Spouse' is acceptable:

Middle English: from Old French spous(e ), variant of espous(e ), from Latin sponsus (masculine), sponsa (feminine), past participles of spondere ‘betroth’.

[romeogolf]

silverfoxcc said:

Watching couples of same sex marriages on TV, the guys refer to each other as 'husbands' One female couple used 'wife', but on Pointless this week there was a female couple who used the term 'husband'

So are what is the correct protocol/etiquette for this, or doenst it matter?.

I don't know any same-sex couples who refer to their male spouse as wife, or female spouse as husband on a routine basis. Occasionally they will do it in jest, for example a friend referring to his male partner as "she" or "the wife" when there's an implication that the partner has done something stereotypically feminine, or has been fussy about something. That usage is quite common in the gay community such as:

"Do you guy want to go to Spoons for a quick bite?"
"I would, but she won't step in there!"

or, in response to a man making a complaint or bhy remark:

"Oh, look at her go!"


I didn't see the clip, so can't comment in any more detail, but it is possible that one of the partners was transgender and doesn't pass easily as male, but prefers to be addressed as male. So in this case, while you saw them as female, they are in fact male and hence the term husband

[Jasandjules]

Other half... Covers all bases?

[TonyRPH]

If I'm in any doubt, I'll just use the term partner.

It's not caused any offence yet.

[Sparkyhd]

But let's be honest, all we really want to know is who's the top and who's the bottom.

[FlyingMeeces]

Sparkyhd said:

But let's be honest, all we really want to know is who's the top and who's the bottom.

… that's a) kinda creepy and b) a bit odd. Not least because plenty of people switch.

[silverfoxcc]

I like spouse....covers all bases thanks

[Rich_W]

I guess stereotypically the more "butch" would be the Husband.

I can never understand why Lesbians don't find the same things attractive as guys though. eg nice boobs/nice arse/whatever etc.

Surely if you are a lezza then you find women in all their forms attractive. Not some woman who has very male qualities/mannerisms? You may as well just get a regular guy (who in the UK would be overweight and balding)

[crofty1984]

So, this thread isn't about swinging, then?

[FlyingMeeces]

Rich_W said:

I guess stereotypically the more "butch" would be the Husband.

I can never understand why Lesbians don't find the same things attractive as guys though. eg nice boobs/nice arse/whatever etc.

Surely if you are a lezza then you find women in all their forms attractive. Not some woman who has very male qualities/mannerisms? You may as well just get a regular guy (who in the UK would be overweight and balding)

Butch women aren't men and aren't like men, likewise effeminate or 'femme' guys aren't women. Not the same.

But also, do you, presumably a straight dude, find literally every woman attractive?