Can't think straight, not even sure why I'm posting here.
Can't think straight, not even sure why I'm posting here.
Author
Discussion

cjs racing.

Original Poster:

2,508 posts

159 months

Thursday 26th January 2017
quotequote all
My head is a mess, and I don't know what to do.

I did a long post, but deleted, this is the short version.

A few weeks ago my grandmother passed away, I was quite close to her, the funeral is coming up soon.

Then a few days ago, my brother hanged himself. He was cut down and revived, and is on life support.

If he survives he will be severely brain damaged.

I have special needs kids who are under 10, and I can't really tell them what happened to my brother, they understand about grandmother. But I really need to keep it together for them. My wife is trying to help, but is also disabled.

As I say, I'm not even sure why I posted, I think I just need to vent.

MrAndyW

550 posts

178 months

Thursday 26th January 2017
quotequote all
Wow, Just hang in there, Isn't there any friends, relatives that you can speak to ? at least you've done the right thing and told us on here about it.Thats the first step.
You need support, I would think alll the agencies are closed at this time of night, although the might have out of hours.
Try and share the load if possible, Don't take everything on yourself. ,
Wish you all the best, Andy.

tumble dryer

2,390 posts

157 months

Thursday 26th January 2017
quotequote all
cjs racing. said:
My head is a mess, and I don't know what to do.

I did a long post, but deleted, this is the short version.

A few weeks ago my grandmother passed away, I was quite close to her, the funeral is coming up soon.

Then a few days ago, my brother hanged himself. He was cut down and revived, and is on life support.

If he survives he will be severely brain damaged.

I have special needs kids who are under 10, and I can't really tell them what happened to my brother, they understand about grandmother. But I really need to keep it together for them. My wife is trying to help, but is also disabled.

As I say, I'm not even sure why I posted, I think I just need to vent.
Vent away, sometimes this place can be a tonic. Make a physical effort to look upwards. You have my, and no doubt others', best wishes.

MrAndyW

550 posts

178 months

Thursday 26th January 2017
quotequote all
You are keeping it together for everybody else, but don.t forget to look after yourself as well. That means going somewhere quiet and crying you eyes out if necessary.
Andy

SystemParanoia

14,343 posts

228 months

Thursday 26th January 2017
quotequote all
Thats a heavy heavy burden thats been placed upon you, you're going to need somewhere to vent and or decompress all of this.

any close friends you can call on?

kiethton

14,660 posts

210 months

Thursday 26th January 2017
quotequote all
MrAndyW said:
You are keeping it together for everybody else, but don.t forget to look after yourself as well. That means going somewhere quiet and crying you eyes out if necessary.
Andy
Very much this

Also if working try and get yourself some compassionate leave, sure most companies would grant given the circumstances.

The mental health charities may also be in a position to help, even if its not you directly affected

davepoth

29,395 posts

229 months

Thursday 26th January 2017
quotequote all
Talking about it is best, but this isn't the place for it.

http://www.samaritans.org/

They are there to help you.

anonymous-user

84 months

Thursday 26th January 2017
quotequote all
www.thecalmzone.net

The campaign against living miserably help men deal with stress and depression. It's a fantastic charity that is trying to break the stigma associated with men seeking help and talking about things.




evilmunkey

1,377 posts

189 months

Thursday 26th January 2017
quotequote all
Samaritans would be my advise to you, but as all have said mate. were here we will help where we can and all my best wishes in this dark time for you buddy.

g3org3y

22,504 posts

221 months

Thursday 26th January 2017
quotequote all
A very tough situation CJS, thoughts are with you. frown

As has been asked above, what support network do you have (other family or friends)? The ability to ventilate/debrief is very important. Even posting on here can be a helpful outlet.

Be strong in front of your children but is important you give yourself time to grieve.

Your GP may be able to advise on self ref counselling services, might be worth getting in contact with them.

Starfighter

5,351 posts

208 months

Thursday 26th January 2017
quotequote all
Go and get a diary. Every day write in it (always) 3 good things that happened. It will help you see that there are good things happening t o you or around you, It can be very easy just to see the bad.

Fermit The Krog and Sexy Sarah

13,240 posts

130 months

Thursday 26th January 2017
quotequote all
Likewise sorry to hear about your predicaments. Likewise I'd also say The Samaritans are the best bet. My friend volunteers for them, and they receive some pretty intensive training for all scenarios. I would also suggest that if you haven't done so (not knowing what you do, or if you may be self employed) be completely upfront with work and get them onside, they have a legal duty to support you in times of peril, and work stresses are the last thing you need now. All the best.

Edited by Fermit The Krog and Sexy Sarah on Thursday 26th January 20:25


Edited by Fermit The Krog and Sexy Sarah on Thursday 26th January 20:57

creampuff

6,511 posts

173 months

Thursday 26th January 2017
quotequote all
Best wishes, mate.

But do try the Samaritans or similar - you don't have to do it alone.

m3jappa

6,950 posts

248 months

Thursday 26th January 2017
quotequote all
Don't be afraid to post on here, you have a burden which the vast majority of people could not imagine. While pistonheads is full of a load of old st, it's also got a lot of very decent very helpful people. I've certainly been helped by posters on here many times.
I do believe in talking so as mentioned speak to the Samaritans, friends, family and here as well.

cjs racing.

Original Poster:

2,508 posts

159 months

Thursday 26th January 2017
quotequote all
Thank you guys, Samaritans sounds like a good call. Didn't think I was anywhere near needing to talk to them, but as a few of you mentioned them, they could be worth a try.

Too quickly answer a few questions.

I'm a carer for my children, so no job.

1 close friend, who I am talking to.

And then my wife and parents, and we are supporting each other where, and how we can.


Hackney

7,437 posts

238 months

Thursday 26th January 2017
quotequote all
pablo said:
www.thecalmzone.net

The campaign against living miserably help men deal with stress and depression. It's a fantastic charity that is trying to break the stigma associated with men seeking help and talking about things.
This

CubanPete

3,816 posts

218 months

Thursday 26th January 2017
quotequote all
Wow, there is a massive weight on those shoulders. Any one of those is enough to trigger depression / anxiety, especially at this time of year. Can you get to the GP in the morning?

Where are you based?

williredale

2,866 posts

182 months

Thursday 26th January 2017
quotequote all
cjs racing. said:
Thank you guys, Samaritans sounds like a good call. Didn't think I was anywhere near needing to talk to them, but as a few of you mentioned them, they could be worth a try.
I think they'd rather talk to you now rather than when you *need* to talk to them.

Also as mentioned go to your GP. They will be able to point you in the direction of local services.

Chainsaw Rebuild

2,138 posts

132 months

Thursday 26th January 2017
quotequote all
Mate that's a very tough hand you have been dealt there. All the best in dealing with it.

Vocal Minority

8,582 posts

182 months

Thursday 26th January 2017
quotequote all
williredale said:
cjs racing. said:
Thank you guys, Samaritans sounds like a good call. Didn't think I was anywhere near needing to talk to them, but as a few of you mentioned them, they could be worth a try.
I think they'd rather talk to you now rather than when you *need* to talk to them.

.
My sister is a Samaritan.

They are there to help whatever the problem. It doesn't have to be at the edge of reason. They are all volunteers. And if you volunteer to help people with problems - you're probably a decent and helpful person.

You carry a heavy weight. They will help carry it, even if only for a short while