Times you've had to stop yourself laughing at someone?
Discussion
Whilst shopping in Tesco this evening I turned into an isle to be greeted with an otherwise quite attractive young lady with the most ridiculous drawn on eyebrows. They where far too big and almost black, her hair was blonde.
It looked as if a slightly stoned gorilla had applied them with a small roller.
I kind of laughed, spluttered and pretended to cough.
I did however have to laugh at a young lad wearing two baseball caps, just like Timmy Mallet.
Over to you..
Any memorable moments you've been caught of guard and laughed in someone's face?
It looked as if a slightly stoned gorilla had applied them with a small roller.
I kind of laughed, spluttered and pretended to cough.
I did however have to laugh at a young lad wearing two baseball caps, just like Timmy Mallet.
Over to you..
Any memorable moments you've been caught of guard and laughed in someone's face?
My godmother would ramble on and on about everything without leaving much space for anyone to butt in - or even breathe.
My brother and I were listening to her on one of her stories, and we looked at each other, and we knew that we were going to laugh at some point.
Eventually came the trigger word - 'grandmother' - and we both cracked up. We had to apologise to her, because the story was not funny in the slightest.
My brother and I were listening to her on one of her stories, and we looked at each other, and we knew that we were going to laugh at some point.
Eventually came the trigger word - 'grandmother' - and we both cracked up. We had to apologise to her, because the story was not funny in the slightest.
How about seeing a very large woman wearing a top with the slogan "Im bringing sexy back", to add to the situation her over hanging gut was poking out the bottom.
Also the brother in law, when asked to drive his grandparents diesel golf to take them home the grandad asked him to be careful. To which he replied "I drive an M sport BMW" (A 116i)
Also the brother in law, when asked to drive his grandparents diesel golf to take them home the grandad asked him to be careful. To which he replied "I drive an M sport BMW" (A 116i)
Seeing someone get a ball stuck in the gutter when bowling, attempting to walk down the lane and stacking it big time. Once we knew he was okay we couldn't stop laughing for ages. It was made more awkward because he was in the lane next to us.
Karma bit me in the ass a couple of days later when I went over on some ice
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Karma bit me in the ass a couple of days later when I went over on some ice
.SirSquidalot said:
Also the brother in law, when asked to drive his grandparents diesel golf to take them home the grandad asked him to be careful. To which he replied "I drive an M sport BMW" (A 116i)
This is definitely a thing now with BMW drivers. I first noticed it when my partners ex kept referring to his 520D as "The M Sport", and he was taking the kids out in "The M Sport", not that car. When a hit & run driver ploughed into a couple of years back, he lamented the loss of "his M Sport"We also get a lot of fleet users at working requesting anything "M Sport" - and they will take anything from the 116, to a more worthy example of the 335i X Drive, solely because of the badge.
S11Steve said:
SirSquidalot said:
Also the brother in law, when asked to drive his grandparents diesel golf to take them home the grandad asked him to be careful. To which he replied "I drive an M sport BMW" (A 116i)
This is definitely a thing now with BMW drivers. I first noticed it when my partners ex kept referring to his 520D as "The M Sport", and he was taking the kids out in "The M Sport", not that car. When a hit & run driver ploughed into a couple of years back, he lamented the loss of "his M Sport"We also get a lot of fleet users at working requesting anything "M Sport" - and they will take anything from the 116, to a more worthy example of the 335i X Drive, solely because of the badge.
Two young gents, in a poxed up Cleo thing today, driving through the town centre. It was raining, and every time they moved forward in the slow traffic the driver had to wind the 1 litre motor up, drop the clutch and spin the wheels...for six feet. It seemed such an astronomical amount of engine noise and effort for a wheelspin that swiftly faded away, even on wet block paving.....I assume flywheel momentum was all that made it possible.
And all the while the two baseball clad oiks inside were simultaneously nodding their uber cool heads in tune to the loud music playing within.
Several guys walking towards me grinned in my general direction as they too stifled their mirth.
And all the while the two baseball clad oiks inside were simultaneously nodding their uber cool heads in tune to the loud music playing within.
Several guys walking towards me grinned in my general direction as they too stifled their mirth.
funeral of the exwifes grandmother ... proper cantancerous old battle axe whom noone really liked but happened to be relatively well off on departure ... the vicar kept getting her name and even gender wrong in his delivery at the crem ... it was hilarious and I tried but couldnt hold it in ... many unimpressed blood relatives resulted lol
2 instances
1) at my aunts funeral. daughter had married a Catholic and went completely native,aunt was NOT impressed. The funeral was very Catholic incense everywhere, The coffin as wheeled into the church on what i would describe as a costermongers cart,but tasteful....just. Only they could steer in into the aisle to the alter and had to hand bump the rear around. My sone and i were biting into our hankies, trying to stifle it, and the the vicar stood up and he sounded just like Eddie Izzard on one of his rambling. By then we were both crying buckets, knowing full well that is she could riseand kill everyone there she would have.
Got complemented after by one of the husbands side who said it ws nice to see how much we would miss her......if only he knew.
Second time was on Xmas morning several years ago. dogs bowels have no respect for what day or time it is. so i am wandering through the estate in a wooded bit and observed a family getting ready to visit family,judging by the stuff that was being put in the hatchback. Wife would come out with another bag/box or whatever and place it in the rear. Husband, who was one of those throwbacks ( see following post for explanation), the type who years ago when we were young and with it, was the middle ages 40 yr old and we vowed NEVER to go like that (you must remember the type and by golly they are still with us) kept shutting the hatchback.Until the car just wouldn't take anymore.BUT 'Bert' didnt have the nous to rearrange what was inside and just kept on closing with more and ore force, until the window glass gave up the unequal struggle, and just released itself from the hatch,slid down the rear of the car and smashed into a zillion bits,all over the wife's feet bringing even more gear out.
She then said. 'what did you do that for?' as though it was deliberate. I managed about 10 steps before i was out of line of site and howled uncontrollably for about 5 mins, and was still laughing when i got back to the house 15 mins later. Even now i get the picture as clear as day
1) at my aunts funeral. daughter had married a Catholic and went completely native,aunt was NOT impressed. The funeral was very Catholic incense everywhere, The coffin as wheeled into the church on what i would describe as a costermongers cart,but tasteful....just. Only they could steer in into the aisle to the alter and had to hand bump the rear around. My sone and i were biting into our hankies, trying to stifle it, and the the vicar stood up and he sounded just like Eddie Izzard on one of his rambling. By then we were both crying buckets, knowing full well that is she could riseand kill everyone there she would have.
Got complemented after by one of the husbands side who said it ws nice to see how much we would miss her......if only he knew.
Second time was on Xmas morning several years ago. dogs bowels have no respect for what day or time it is. so i am wandering through the estate in a wooded bit and observed a family getting ready to visit family,judging by the stuff that was being put in the hatchback. Wife would come out with another bag/box or whatever and place it in the rear. Husband, who was one of those throwbacks ( see following post for explanation), the type who years ago when we were young and with it, was the middle ages 40 yr old and we vowed NEVER to go like that (you must remember the type and by golly they are still with us) kept shutting the hatchback.Until the car just wouldn't take anymore.BUT 'Bert' didnt have the nous to rearrange what was inside and just kept on closing with more and ore force, until the window glass gave up the unequal struggle, and just released itself from the hatch,slid down the rear of the car and smashed into a zillion bits,all over the wife's feet bringing even more gear out.
She then said. 'what did you do that for?' as though it was deliberate. I managed about 10 steps before i was out of line of site and howled uncontrollably for about 5 mins, and was still laughing when i got back to the house 15 mins later. Even now i get the picture as clear as day
When i started driving back in the 60's, the older drivers were referred to as Albert and Doris, they all seemed to be in their 70's, but possibly a lot younger* having served in the war and without fail always wore a trilby and doris without fail a flowery hat. The mode of transport was a choice of
Morris Minor, Standard 8, Austin A35 or Ford Popular all driven at a sedate 25mph everywhere, and only seemed to come out on Sunday afternoons following the ritual of the clean and polish during the morning
Morris Minor, Standard 8, Austin A35 or Ford Popular all driven at a sedate 25mph everywhere, and only seemed to come out on Sunday afternoons following the ritual of the clean and polish during the morning
- to get an idea of what i mean is check out pictures of fotball or cricket teams, they all look in their 30/40's yet are much younger.
I was on eurotunnel, ahead of me a Disco or Range Rover, I forget which.
Bloke climbs out and try's to fix his magnetic GB badge to his tailgate, of course it's ally so the thing keeps falling off. Took him about 15min, plenty of marching backwards and forwards to discuss problem with passengers. Passengers try to fix the badge by slapping it harder on the tailgate.
I'm a good soul so mentioned he didn't need it, they already had euro plates and a Eurocamps GB sticker. More huffing and puffing with passengers, then informed me French police don't really like Euro Plates and a Eurocamps GB sticker didn't count.
Eventually fixed it inside the rear window wedged, in with a piece of luggage. Shot me a triumphant look, then someone must have touched the boot release. The whole thing opened and wedged luggage spilled out.
I tried, really tried, to keep a straight face.
Bloke climbs out and try's to fix his magnetic GB badge to his tailgate, of course it's ally so the thing keeps falling off. Took him about 15min, plenty of marching backwards and forwards to discuss problem with passengers. Passengers try to fix the badge by slapping it harder on the tailgate.
I'm a good soul so mentioned he didn't need it, they already had euro plates and a Eurocamps GB sticker. More huffing and puffing with passengers, then informed me French police don't really like Euro Plates and a Eurocamps GB sticker didn't count.
Eventually fixed it inside the rear window wedged, in with a piece of luggage. Shot me a triumphant look, then someone must have touched the boot release. The whole thing opened and wedged luggage spilled out.
I tried, really tried, to keep a straight face.
S11Steve said:
This is definitely a thing now with BMW drivers. I first noticed it when my partners ex kept referring to his 520D as "The M Sport", and he was taking the kids out in "The M Sport", not that car. When a hit & run driver ploughed into a couple of years back, he lamented the loss of "his M Sport"
We also get a lot of fleet users at working requesting anything "M Sport" - and they will take anything from the 116, to a more worthy example of the 335i X Drive, solely because of the badge.
I don't know why but this really annoys me as well. Makes slip road drag racing significantly more satisfying though.We also get a lot of fleet users at working requesting anything "M Sport" - and they will take anything from the 116, to a more worthy example of the 335i X Drive, solely because of the badge.
On topic: About half an hour ago in a meeting when a Frenchist pronounced the name "Norbert" ad "Nob head"
vtecyo said:
I don't know why but this really annoys me as well. Makes slip road drag racing significantly more satisfying though.
On topic: About half an hour ago in a meeting when a Frenchist pronounced the name "Norbert" ad "Nob head"
We have a guy here called Norbet and folk call him Nob Rot On topic: About half an hour ago in a meeting when a Frenchist pronounced the name "Norbert" ad "Nob head"
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