Help - Best Man Guidance Needed
Discussion
Today I got asked to be best man for a guy I know quite well.
Thing is this - he gets married at the end of August this year, I haven't been best man for anyone before, I haven't got a clue what I am meant to do & I am dreading writing a speech.
Please help with serious guidance as I am bricking it.
Thank you.
Thing is this - he gets married at the end of August this year, I haven't been best man for anyone before, I haven't got a clue what I am meant to do & I am dreading writing a speech.
Please help with serious guidance as I am bricking it.
Thank you.
Been best man twice and while nerve wracking on the day it's a great privilege. Is he having a stag do as normally the best man organises that.
In terms of help just ask what they need help with prior to the day and on the day. Often errands to run, and little jobs to sort so offering to help is often appreciated.
For the speech there are plenty of websites with speeches that other people have written to give advice. I normally included a couple of jokes, funny story, then a few thoughtful moments about the best man and our friendship. Mine never brought the house down with laughs but always where appreciated and I didn't end up being hated by the family. Haha.
One bit of advice, take it easy on the booze. Have a couple to be relaxed but not too much you slur or forget you words.
In terms of help just ask what they need help with prior to the day and on the day. Often errands to run, and little jobs to sort so offering to help is often appreciated.
For the speech there are plenty of websites with speeches that other people have written to give advice. I normally included a couple of jokes, funny story, then a few thoughtful moments about the best man and our friendship. Mine never brought the house down with laughs but always where appreciated and I didn't end up being hated by the family. Haha.
One bit of advice, take it easy on the booze. Have a couple to be relaxed but not too much you slur or forget you words.
fatboy69 said:
He wants a stag do. She is not too keen as the last stag ended up in Latvia with just 5 euros & an out of date passport!!!
The bride wasn't best pleased & banned us from the wedding.
I am genuinely terrified simply because I don't know what to do.
Explain the "she is not keen as the last stag" ? If the bride is laying down the law already Latvia sounds a good idea 'The bride wasn't best pleased & banned us from the wedding.
I am genuinely terrified simply because I don't know what to do.
Get yourself a book "wedding etiquette" or similar , there must be loads , read through the duties of each person involved , make sure said people know their duties . Don't get pissed before your speech .
No need to be terrified , look at it as a call of duty from your mate and you'll be fine . Read up briefly on public speaking if this is worrying you , eye contact , clear voice , notes , blah blah . Don't get pissed before your speech .
Get the groom to the church , don't lose the ring , stand up at the correct moment during the reception to deliver a simple and honourable speech , give the toast , job done .
Sit back and get pissed whilst enjoying some female adoration ,because if you do a good job there will be some, then reap your well earned rewards . You'll wonder what all the fuss was about soon afterwards .
Have fun and enjoy
iphonedyou said:
Don't use anything - anything - from a website.
A genuine, honest speech with barely a joke will go down really well if it's all your own.
This, absolutely this! A genuine, honest speech with barely a joke will go down really well if it's all your own.
Everything you see on any website will just be cheesy cliche b
ks! Keep it light and honest with the odd amusing story and it'll go down much better than trying to constantly humiliate the groom whilst throwing out stolen jokes from the internet! bobbo89 said:
iphonedyou said:
Don't use anything - anything - from a website.
A genuine, honest speech with barely a joke will go down really well if it's all your own.
This, absolutely this! A genuine, honest speech with barely a joke will go down really well if it's all your own.
Everything you see on any website will just be cheesy cliche b
ks! Keep it light and honest with the odd amusing story and it'll go down much better than trying to constantly humiliate the groom whilst throwing out stolen jokes from the internet! People have uploaded their speeches and can be guide, especially if the OP has no idea where to start.
fatboy69 said:
He wants a stag do. She is not too keen as the last stag ended up in Latvia with just 5 euros & an out of date passport!!!
The bride wasn't best pleased & banned us from the wedding.
I am genuinely terrified simply because I don't know what to do.
If he is getting married in August your running out of time. I would be contacting the groom getting a list of people he wants to include and get something booked asap. The bride wasn't best pleased & banned us from the wedding.
I am genuinely terrified simply because I don't know what to do.
Doesn't have to be abroad or expensive. Main thing is doing something together with all his mates/family and then having a good p*ss-up at the end.
Be yourself, that's why he chose you to be best man. Don't try to be what you think is expected of a best man, think of what your friend expects from you.
My sister married last year and their best man/master of ceremony is a naturally gifted comedian. He had the room crying in laughter, fantastic anecdotes of his time with the groom, how he met my sister etc It was great because he didn't have to act. He had that natural ability to deliver humour and it rolled off the tongue rather than requiring a script. The other members of the wedding party each made a speech but kept it to what they do best, whether it be serious, storytelling, humour etc
On the other hand I attended a wedding a few weeks back where the best man tried to be funny and it descended into gutter comedy and was frankly an embarrassment to all
the sad thing was that the best man is a great speaker, but for some reason he tried to add humour which he struggles with! I'm not kidding, some of the jokes left my jaw smacking the floor 
My sister married last year and their best man/master of ceremony is a naturally gifted comedian. He had the room crying in laughter, fantastic anecdotes of his time with the groom, how he met my sister etc It was great because he didn't have to act. He had that natural ability to deliver humour and it rolled off the tongue rather than requiring a script. The other members of the wedding party each made a speech but kept it to what they do best, whether it be serious, storytelling, humour etc
On the other hand I attended a wedding a few weeks back where the best man tried to be funny and it descended into gutter comedy and was frankly an embarrassment to all
the sad thing was that the best man is a great speaker, but for some reason he tried to add humour which he struggles with! I'm not kidding, some of the jokes left my jaw smacking the floor Stag dos:
There are a few companies that will help you with organising them; for a fee. StagWeb and ChilliSauce are two that I have had experience with on other stag dos that I have attended.
It does depend how many people he wants to invite, and how much budget you set. But they will have contacts with the array of paintballing, white water rafting, escape rooms, assault courses, go karting, quad biking, bartending courses, drinking bus tours, whatever you want to do, they will likely to be able to help you arrange it, and then arrange entry to a local club for you in whatever city you choose, along with a hotel. Mates have used them in Amsterdam, Bristol, Cardiff and Bournemouth in the last year. And they'll know where you can find a decent strip club as well I am sure if that kind of thing is your bag (it is a stag do after all)
This will be more expensive than arranging it all yourself, but, crucially, you don't have to deal with everyone's money, They all log on and pay their own way direct to the website, and you can make it so everyone pays a little bit towards the stag.
How much you want to humiliate him on the stag do is entirely up to you. Much of it will likely involve being very drunk and very embarrassed. I spent an hour chained to a urinal in a pub in Reading on my stag do, dressed as a German Fraulein. I'm yet to get my mate back for that but he hasn't got married yet...
Speeches - Might be best to check your audience as to how "child friendly" it needs to be. But other than that, just remember some fun times with your mate that you've had and people will enjoy hearing it. Remember to be nice to his mum, her mum, and of course, the bride.
Prior to the day, and on the day, just be there, and be helpful. If you're having suit fittings make sure that they can all be collected, let your mate not worry about that if you can, or take the flowers, whatever they want.
And as this is PH - get him a nice motor to drive down in, and fill it with coke and hookers.
There are a few companies that will help you with organising them; for a fee. StagWeb and ChilliSauce are two that I have had experience with on other stag dos that I have attended.
It does depend how many people he wants to invite, and how much budget you set. But they will have contacts with the array of paintballing, white water rafting, escape rooms, assault courses, go karting, quad biking, bartending courses, drinking bus tours, whatever you want to do, they will likely to be able to help you arrange it, and then arrange entry to a local club for you in whatever city you choose, along with a hotel. Mates have used them in Amsterdam, Bristol, Cardiff and Bournemouth in the last year. And they'll know where you can find a decent strip club as well I am sure if that kind of thing is your bag (it is a stag do after all)
This will be more expensive than arranging it all yourself, but, crucially, you don't have to deal with everyone's money, They all log on and pay their own way direct to the website, and you can make it so everyone pays a little bit towards the stag.
How much you want to humiliate him on the stag do is entirely up to you. Much of it will likely involve being very drunk and very embarrassed. I spent an hour chained to a urinal in a pub in Reading on my stag do, dressed as a German Fraulein. I'm yet to get my mate back for that but he hasn't got married yet...
Speeches - Might be best to check your audience as to how "child friendly" it needs to be. But other than that, just remember some fun times with your mate that you've had and people will enjoy hearing it. Remember to be nice to his mum, her mum, and of course, the bride.
Prior to the day, and on the day, just be there, and be helpful. If you're having suit fittings make sure that they can all be collected, let your mate not worry about that if you can, or take the flowers, whatever they want.
And as this is PH - get him a nice motor to drive down in, and fill it with coke and hookers.
I went to a cousin's wedding in Glasgow a few years ago, he's a Londoner like me, and so was his best man, the bride was from Glasgow.
His best man really nailed it, he started off by saying please don't think that I'm simple because I'm speaking slowly, I'm doing that to give you Jocks a chance to understand, or at least ask for a translation from a London guest, the Scots cheered and whistled at that.
He gave some mild examples of what he and my cousin had got up to over the years, nothing too bad, all good fun, he complimented the bride, and said that he went he first met her, he had to wonder that if, looking at my cousin, did Scotland not have SpecSavers!
He brought the house down with his finishing touch, he said that even although he'd only been in Glasgow for 3 days, he felt that he fitted right in, as his dad was in prison, and his mother is an alcoholic!
His best man really nailed it, he started off by saying please don't think that I'm simple because I'm speaking slowly, I'm doing that to give you Jocks a chance to understand, or at least ask for a translation from a London guest, the Scots cheered and whistled at that.
He gave some mild examples of what he and my cousin had got up to over the years, nothing too bad, all good fun, he complimented the bride, and said that he went he first met her, he had to wonder that if, looking at my cousin, did Scotland not have SpecSavers!
He brought the house down with his finishing touch, he said that even although he'd only been in Glasgow for 3 days, he felt that he fitted right in, as his dad was in prison, and his mother is an alcoholic!
I wrote an honest open speech, short and sweet, split into main sections;
Intro - me and how I know the groom (how we met)
Bride + bridemaids look good, comment about the groom.
Story;
3 / 4 sentences
End;
Sincere comment about their future and then the toast, mine was no more than 3 mins, light hearted, not forced and SHORT!
Do not waffle and go on and on, read it out aloud over and over again to ensure it flows and change as appropriate, rehearse it speak from memory, nothing worse than someone holding a piece of paper in front of their face, do not rush.
It took me two weeks to fully complete mine, I was really, really happy as I had loads of people come up to me and say it was really good, it got everyone to laugh and kept it family friendly for the kids / grandparents!
Do not use anything off the internet, again keep it short and read it out aloud!
Makes a huge difference between reading / saying as you will notice what does and does not flow.
Intro - me and how I know the groom (how we met)
Bride + bridemaids look good, comment about the groom.
Story;
3 / 4 sentences
End;
Sincere comment about their future and then the toast, mine was no more than 3 mins, light hearted, not forced and SHORT!
Do not waffle and go on and on, read it out aloud over and over again to ensure it flows and change as appropriate, rehearse it speak from memory, nothing worse than someone holding a piece of paper in front of their face, do not rush.
It took me two weeks to fully complete mine, I was really, really happy as I had loads of people come up to me and say it was really good, it got everyone to laugh and kept it family friendly for the kids / grandparents!
Do not use anything off the internet, again keep it short and read it out aloud!
Makes a huge difference between reading / saying as you will notice what does and does not flow.
Here's the thing to keep in mind about the speech - They're on your side. They want to laugh along, it's not in any way a bear pit where they're just waiting for any sign of weakness to pounce!
Good advice on the internet, avoid any cringe from there. Short is good unless you're a Peter Ustinov or a Ronnie Corbett. Get the markers in - thank the, bridesmaids, complement the bride etc. then stick the boot in, then get out.
Couple of good ones I've seen over the years - bloke got a load of blank keys off Timpsons, handed them out & then during the speech, asked the groom ex's to hand back their keys now he was settling down. Up pops a load of girls, a few grannies, couple of blokes & at least two waiters. Another guy had a hot tub & the best man read out a pretend telegram from Michael Barrymore about how he was going to miss the pool parties. Bit close to the bone maybe but it went down well.
Good advice on the internet, avoid any cringe from there. Short is good unless you're a Peter Ustinov or a Ronnie Corbett. Get the markers in - thank the, bridesmaids, complement the bride etc. then stick the boot in, then get out.
Couple of good ones I've seen over the years - bloke got a load of blank keys off Timpsons, handed them out & then during the speech, asked the groom ex's to hand back their keys now he was settling down. Up pops a load of girls, a few grannies, couple of blokes & at least two waiters. Another guy had a hot tub & the best man read out a pretend telegram from Michael Barrymore about how he was going to miss the pool parties. Bit close to the bone maybe but it went down well.
I was best man (first time) for my best friend a few weeks ago
17 of us went to Amsterdam for a long weekend - my advice, book the stag early and ask for the money in advance, some of my group didn't stump up the cash until the last minute and the Groom and I had to cover their costs when I booked it.
Be there for the Groom, the build up to the day is busy for everybody. I took two days off before the wedding and worked harder than I do at work. Suit collection, running stuff around, getting the cars washed etc
Speech - I said a few word of thanks to certain people, took the piss out of the bride a bit, followed by some nice stuff. Then ripped into my mate for a few mins. Careful what you say, I thought people knew about a funny incident that got us arrested, turned out his dad knew but his mum didn't. She was ok about it though! You probably know him best, so jot down memories as you remember them.
Practice it, and read slowly, have a couple of pints before. Everyone has your back in there, I was reasonably nervous, got a minute in and had everybody in stitches and the nerves went.
Be available to help make the day go smoothly, I purposely didn't drink too much until later in the evening.
Lastly, enjoy it, its a privilege
17 of us went to Amsterdam for a long weekend - my advice, book the stag early and ask for the money in advance, some of my group didn't stump up the cash until the last minute and the Groom and I had to cover their costs when I booked it.
Be there for the Groom, the build up to the day is busy for everybody. I took two days off before the wedding and worked harder than I do at work. Suit collection, running stuff around, getting the cars washed etc
Speech - I said a few word of thanks to certain people, took the piss out of the bride a bit, followed by some nice stuff. Then ripped into my mate for a few mins. Careful what you say, I thought people knew about a funny incident that got us arrested, turned out his dad knew but his mum didn't. She was ok about it though! You probably know him best, so jot down memories as you remember them.
Practice it, and read slowly, have a couple of pints before. Everyone has your back in there, I was reasonably nervous, got a minute in and had everybody in stitches and the nerves went.
Be available to help make the day go smoothly, I purposely didn't drink too much until later in the evening.
Lastly, enjoy it, its a privilege
Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff