Thoughts on breastfeeding in public?
Discussion
Before we had our baby, I always thought it was a myth/urban-legend that people would come up to a breastfeeding mother and have a moan or tell her to cover up. I thought "surely not?" - there can't possibly be that many people who have an issue with it?
Well, it's not a myth, there are that many backwards people. It's not even something you can call "old fashioned", because formula is quite a recent invention.
And no I'm not talking about the one-in-a-million mum who tries to get compensation or her face printed in the daily mail by feeding inside a swimming pool, etc. I'm sure we all agree that's wrong. I just believe that anywhere that's appropriate for a bottle is also appropriate for a breast.
Genuinely interested in opinions on both sides of the argument, especially if you're against it for a valid and well-thought out reason (if such a thing exists).
Well, it's not a myth, there are that many backwards people. It's not even something you can call "old fashioned", because formula is quite a recent invention.
And no I'm not talking about the one-in-a-million mum who tries to get compensation or her face printed in the daily mail by feeding inside a swimming pool, etc. I'm sure we all agree that's wrong. I just believe that anywhere that's appropriate for a bottle is also appropriate for a breast.
Genuinely interested in opinions on both sides of the argument, especially if you're against it for a valid and well-thought out reason (if such a thing exists).
As my missus breast fed both my kids there were obviously occasions when it was necessary to feed in public. I think the key is to try to find somewhere relatively private to do so if you can as it just makes it a more pleasant experience for Mum and baby but also be subtle about it. I obviously don't have a problem with it but I expect some of the more new age / "look at me what a great Mum I am breast feeding" types are much more brazen with their approach and in doing so may cause some upset to the more conservative types.
But it's a natural thing and once you've seen a few boobies in your life then it's really not that exciting or embarrassing. Think I'd got it out of my system after a holiday or two where topless sunbathing was allowed, initially you're like wow look at her tits but eventually you don't even notice.
But it's a natural thing and once you've seen a few boobies in your life then it's really not that exciting or embarrassing. Think I'd got it out of my system after a holiday or two where topless sunbathing was allowed, initially you're like wow look at her tits but eventually you don't even notice.
My wife couldn’t breastfeed with ours, but enough bitter old Hags were more than willing to offer 'helpful suggestions' of what was right and wrong when it came to small babies and noise in places as sacred as the Cafe in Sainsbury I'm sure they'd have plenty to say about breastfeeding in public.
I have zero problem with it, I will admit, at times I've been minding my own business and caught a glimpse of a baby and though "that's lovely' before I've noticed they're in the middle of lunch and had a mild panic that I might have given the impression I was staring at a tit, but that's my problem, not the Mother's and certainly not the Baby's and that seems to be the problem for some people, they’re offended because they’ve been made to feel anxious because there may or may not be a boob on show somewhere.
In my experience the type of a
hole who gets offended by it is also the type of ahole who won’t say a word if Dad is about, or even if Mum looks like she hasn’t spent the last 3 months on 2 hours a night sleep, no they pick on the solo Mum who looks tired and weak.
I have zero problem with it, I will admit, at times I've been minding my own business and caught a glimpse of a baby and though "that's lovely' before I've noticed they're in the middle of lunch and had a mild panic that I might have given the impression I was staring at a tit, but that's my problem, not the Mother's and certainly not the Baby's and that seems to be the problem for some people, they’re offended because they’ve been made to feel anxious because there may or may not be a boob on show somewhere.
In my experience the type of a
hole who gets offended by it is also the type of ahole who won’t say a word if Dad is about, or even if Mum looks like she hasn’t spent the last 3 months on 2 hours a night sleep, no they pick on the solo Mum who looks tired and weak. Puggit said:
It's natural, mothers should feel like they can do it anywhere. However, mothers also need to realise that there are backwards people out there and should attempt to be subtle if possible.
There are also some militant mums who believe they can do it anywhere - middle of restaurant for example - without a care.As in all walks of life, rights come with obligations.
garyhun said:
There are also some militant mums who believe they can do it anywhere - middle of restaurant for example - without a care.
Do you have any suggestions of where they should do it instead?Like... a public toilet? Or leave the restaurant and carry the hungry/screaming baby out to the car?
You can't ask the baby to wait. Breastfed babies want to eat all the time for the first few months. Bottle fed babies get bigger meals, and from early on they can go a couple of hours without a feed. But when you breastfeed you're lucky if you get half an hour to yourself.
Even with older babies, you might be lucky and they'll take a feed right before you go into a restaurant. But you can't tell them when to be hungry - they don't eat three regular meals like adults.
It's honestly not as militant as you think... They're probably sleep deprived, sore, feel disgusting (spillages happen, and baby doesn't stop feeding to let you shower), scared of people confronting them and just want to get it over with.
AAz01 said:
Do you have any suggestions of where they should do it instead?
Like... a public toilet? Or leave the restaurant and carry the hungry/screaming baby out to the car?
You can't ask the baby to wait. Breastfed babies want to eat all the time for the first few months. Bottle fed babies get bigger meals, and from early on they can go a couple of hours without a feed. But when you breastfeed you're lucky if you get half an hour to yourself.
Even with older babies, you might be lucky and they'll take a feed right before you go into a restaurant. But you can't tell them when to be hungry - they don't eat three regular meals like adults.
It's honestly not as militant as you think... They're probably sleep deprived, sore, feel disgusting (spillages happen, and baby doesn't stop feeding to let you shower), scared of people confronting them and just want to get it over with.
Just be subtle. As I posted, the issue is the militant breastfeeders! Like... a public toilet? Or leave the restaurant and carry the hungry/screaming baby out to the car?
You can't ask the baby to wait. Breastfed babies want to eat all the time for the first few months. Bottle fed babies get bigger meals, and from early on they can go a couple of hours without a feed. But when you breastfeed you're lucky if you get half an hour to yourself.
Even with older babies, you might be lucky and they'll take a feed right before you go into a restaurant. But you can't tell them when to be hungry - they don't eat three regular meals like adults.
It's honestly not as militant as you think... They're probably sleep deprived, sore, feel disgusting (spillages happen, and baby doesn't stop feeding to let you shower), scared of people confronting them and just want to get it over with.
A few yrs ago I was sat across the aisle on an Etihad flight to AbuDhabi from a lady in a full Burkha including the lace veil. She had a baby with her and owned up the burkha and low and behold she was starkers underneath ... and proceeded to get it all out and breastfeed
I have no issue at all with breastfeeding and totally appreciate the female form, she was cracking ... but I was amazed at a society that deems such clothing but approves of such displays (I wish I'd have had some custard and my phone to hand lol)
There were many British disapprovers on the flIght with lots of tutting and shaking of heads but no one had the guts to actually say anything to her.
I have no issue at all with breastfeeding and totally appreciate the female form, she was cracking ... but I was amazed at a society that deems such clothing but approves of such displays (I wish I'd have had some custard and my phone to hand lol)
There were many British disapprovers on the flIght with lots of tutting and shaking of heads but no one had the guts to actually say anything to her.
popeyewhite said:
AAz01 said:
Like... a public toilet? Or leave the restaurant and carry the hungry/screaming baby out to the car?
Why would you take a hungry/screaming baby to a restaurant at all? P-Jay said:
My wife couldn’t breastfeed with ours, but enough bitter old Hags were more than willing to offer 'helpful suggestions' of what was right and wrong when it came to small babies and noise in places as sacred as the Cafe in Sainsbury I'm sure they'd have plenty to say about breastfeeding in public.
I have zero problem with it, I will admit, at times I've been minding my own business and caught a glimpse of a baby and though "that's lovely' before I've noticed they're in the middle of lunch and had a mild panic that I might have given the impression I was staring at a tit, but that's my problem, not the Mother's and certainly not the Baby's and that seems to be the problem for some people, they’re offended because they’ve been made to feel anxious because there may or may not be a boob on show somewhere.
In my experience the type of ahole who gets offended by it is also the type of ahole who won’t say a word if Dad is about, or even if Mum looks like she hasn’t spent the last 3 months on 2 hours a night sleep, no they pick on the solo Mum who looks tired and weak.
When I was a teenager we had a family get together... Cousin (who I only saw once a year - not even that now) wife was breastfeeding. I was very bored and staring into space. Eventually I realised that the space was her boob. oops. I have zero problem with it, I will admit, at times I've been minding my own business and caught a glimpse of a baby and though "that's lovely' before I've noticed they're in the middle of lunch and had a mild panic that I might have given the impression I was staring at a tit, but that's my problem, not the Mother's and certainly not the Baby's and that seems to be the problem for some people, they’re offended because they’ve been made to feel anxious because there may or may not be a boob on show somewhere.
In my experience the type of a
hole who gets offended by it is also the type of ahole who won’t say a word if Dad is about, or even if Mum looks like she hasn’t spent the last 3 months on 2 hours a night sleep, no they pick on the solo Mum who looks tired and weak. 
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