Proposing - Ring / Permission / Where!?
Discussion
Hi all,
So, been with the girlfriend for 9 years in October, we've lived together for the last 4 years and we bought our first please together earlier this year. So it's probably about time we got married!
I've got so much going round my head I need to get some of this written down and waffle for a bit!
Firstly, the ring... I stupidly thought I'd be able to get something impressive for circa £2k... this seems somewhat optimistic after 2 trips to Bluewater and a day in Hatton Garden. So I've set a budget of £4K now. Does this seem a tad excessive? I don't mean to be too tight, and to some this I'm sure is mere loose change to them but hey! I keep on being told by others how they got 1ct solitaires for £2k yet nearly every trilogy ring with 0.5ct centre and 2 x 0.25ct eithe side is in the £3-£4K region... I know clarity / colour comes in to it but I just want to make sure I'm getting a good deal (not trying to save money but just get the most for the money!).
Diamonds are a complete nightmare... so many factors to them it's difficult to compare them!
I am not doing this in the most traditional way and the gf has come with me to basically choose what she wants (without discussing price) and she's always drawn to 3 stone rings.
We've now got an appointment in 2 weeks time with a guy who will make her a one off ring in his workshop in Hatton Garden.
How much discount can you expect from a high street jeweller? 15-20%?
In terms of asking her father... sounds silly but am I just supposed to ask him "Can I marry your daughter?"... we get on very well and he has a great sense of humour so I'm guessing his reply will be "are you sure!?" But I still want to get this part right as I know it's important to her.
And then, where do I propose!? I know shed hate anything in public / restaurant / with any audience but as bad as this sounds, there aren't really many memorable places / special places I could take her to do it! Would you just book a weekend away somewhere and wing it!?
Any help / advice on any of the above would be greatly appreciated right now!
So, been with the girlfriend for 9 years in October, we've lived together for the last 4 years and we bought our first please together earlier this year. So it's probably about time we got married!
I've got so much going round my head I need to get some of this written down and waffle for a bit!
Firstly, the ring... I stupidly thought I'd be able to get something impressive for circa £2k... this seems somewhat optimistic after 2 trips to Bluewater and a day in Hatton Garden. So I've set a budget of £4K now. Does this seem a tad excessive? I don't mean to be too tight, and to some this I'm sure is mere loose change to them but hey! I keep on being told by others how they got 1ct solitaires for £2k yet nearly every trilogy ring with 0.5ct centre and 2 x 0.25ct eithe side is in the £3-£4K region... I know clarity / colour comes in to it but I just want to make sure I'm getting a good deal (not trying to save money but just get the most for the money!).
Diamonds are a complete nightmare... so many factors to them it's difficult to compare them!
I am not doing this in the most traditional way and the gf has come with me to basically choose what she wants (without discussing price) and she's always drawn to 3 stone rings.
We've now got an appointment in 2 weeks time with a guy who will make her a one off ring in his workshop in Hatton Garden.
How much discount can you expect from a high street jeweller? 15-20%?
In terms of asking her father... sounds silly but am I just supposed to ask him "Can I marry your daughter?"... we get on very well and he has a great sense of humour so I'm guessing his reply will be "are you sure!?" But I still want to get this part right as I know it's important to her.
And then, where do I propose!? I know shed hate anything in public / restaurant / with any audience but as bad as this sounds, there aren't really many memorable places / special places I could take her to do it! Would you just book a weekend away somewhere and wing it!?
Any help / advice on any of the above would be greatly appreciated right now!
Can't help with prices etc, but I seem to remember a member called 'Nightmare' gets mentioned every time a ring question comes up.
https://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/profile.asp?h=...
https://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/profile.asp?h=...
SteveS Cup said:
Hi all,
So, been with the girlfriend for 9 years in October, we've lived together for the last 4 years and we bought our first please together earlier this year. So it's probably about time we got married!
I've got so much going round my head I need to get some of this written down and waffle for a bit!
Firstly, the ring... I stupidly thought I'd be able to get something impressive for circa £2k... this seems somewhat optimistic after 2 trips to Bluewater and a day in Hatton Garden. So I've set a budget of £4K now. Does this seem a tad excessive? I don't mean to be too tight, and to some this I'm sure is mere loose change to them but hey! I keep on being told by others how they got 1ct solitaires for £2k yet nearly every trilogy ring with 0.5ct centre and 2 x 0.25ct eithe side is in the £3-£4K region... I know clarity / colour comes in to it but I just want to make sure I'm getting a good deal (not trying to save money but just get the most for the money!).
Diamonds are a complete nightmare... so many factors to them it's difficult to compare them!
I am not doing this in the most traditional way and the gf has come with me to basically choose what she wants (without discussing price) and she's always drawn to 3 stone rings.
We've now got an appointment in 2 weeks time with a guy who will make her a one off ring in his workshop in Hatton Garden.
How much discount can you expect from a high street jeweller? 15-20%?
In terms of asking her father... sounds silly but am I just supposed to ask him "Can I marry your daughter?"... we get on very well and he has a great sense of humour so I'm guessing his reply will be "are you sure!?" But I still want to get this part right as I know it's important to her.
And then, where do I propose!? I know shed hate anything in public / restaurant / with any audience but as bad as this sounds, there aren't really many memorable places / special places I could take her to do it! Would you just book a weekend away somewhere and wing it!?
Any help / advice on any of the above would be greatly appreciated right now!
Regarding ring. Just got a £5.5k ring from ecaine here for under £4K. Local jeweller thought that 5.5k was a conservative valuation. So, been with the girlfriend for 9 years in October, we've lived together for the last 4 years and we bought our first please together earlier this year. So it's probably about time we got married!
I've got so much going round my head I need to get some of this written down and waffle for a bit!
Firstly, the ring... I stupidly thought I'd be able to get something impressive for circa £2k... this seems somewhat optimistic after 2 trips to Bluewater and a day in Hatton Garden. So I've set a budget of £4K now. Does this seem a tad excessive? I don't mean to be too tight, and to some this I'm sure is mere loose change to them but hey! I keep on being told by others how they got 1ct solitaires for £2k yet nearly every trilogy ring with 0.5ct centre and 2 x 0.25ct eithe side is in the £3-£4K region... I know clarity / colour comes in to it but I just want to make sure I'm getting a good deal (not trying to save money but just get the most for the money!).
Diamonds are a complete nightmare... so many factors to them it's difficult to compare them!
I am not doing this in the most traditional way and the gf has come with me to basically choose what she wants (without discussing price) and she's always drawn to 3 stone rings.
We've now got an appointment in 2 weeks time with a guy who will make her a one off ring in his workshop in Hatton Garden.
How much discount can you expect from a high street jeweller? 15-20%?
In terms of asking her father... sounds silly but am I just supposed to ask him "Can I marry your daughter?"... we get on very well and he has a great sense of humour so I'm guessing his reply will be "are you sure!?" But I still want to get this part right as I know it's important to her.
And then, where do I propose!? I know shed hate anything in public / restaurant / with any audience but as bad as this sounds, there aren't really many memorable places / special places I could take her to do it! Would you just book a weekend away somewhere and wing it!?
Any help / advice on any of the above would be greatly appreciated right now!
.8k and looks like 1k. Speak to Eddie.
Ps Mr C is a gent and very flexible to deal with.
Pps other custom jewellery makers are available
My experience of the above:
Ring
We went to Hatton Gardens and looked at a number of places several of which appeared to be owned by the same people. Whilst discussing what Mrs Ftunch wanted, obvs not me, we had a 'macon' sarnie in a local caff and then spent my monthly salary on a diamond inlaid into a plain platinum ring of her choice. They threw in a platinum band for me, which was nice.....
Permission
Screw the prospective father in law, none of his bloody business. Of note is that my brother in law asked for formal permission before proposing to the missus sister - loser.... I have 2 daughters as well, they can bloody well marry who they like.
Where
Our local boozer, it just felt right and we went for a curry afterwards
Helpful??
I got a lovely ring for 1.8k, i didnt want to spend a crazy amount.
It was 18k white gold, 0.5 carat centre stone, 0.4 carat worth of diamonds surrounding it and it was a good quality diamond. The ring sparkles so much more than her friends who have got their rings from high street chains such as 'ernest jones' who supply utter tripe gir crazy prices.
I ordered it online from purely diamonds, who are an independant jeweller in london and they were absolutely fantastic, 77 diamonds looks very similar pricing aswell and also gets rave reviews, blue nile or james allen are also talked about but they are based in america.
It was 18k white gold, 0.5 carat centre stone, 0.4 carat worth of diamonds surrounding it and it was a good quality diamond. The ring sparkles so much more than her friends who have got their rings from high street chains such as 'ernest jones' who supply utter tripe gir crazy prices.
I ordered it online from purely diamonds, who are an independant jeweller in london and they were absolutely fantastic, 77 diamonds looks very similar pricing aswell and also gets rave reviews, blue nile or james allen are also talked about but they are based in america.
As I bought my wife's engagement ring in the 20th. century, the price was nowhere near the telephone numbers being bandied about on here.
These "guidelines" of at least a month, or two months salary didn't fit with me, as I was self-employed, and didn't draw a salary.
I was a London black cab driver, and you could earn a nice few quid in the days before Uber bought their way on to the streets.
I only worked a three day week, but long days, that more than paid the mortgage and all household bills, although my girlfriend always paid for the weekly shop.
I covered everything else, insurances, her car servicing, holidays, if she needed anything for the house, new vacuum cleaner, new window blinds etc., she just pointed, and I paid.
Anyhoo, her ring cost about as much as I'd earn if I worked 7 ten hour days then.
One thing I would say, and this is purely my opinion, avoid Hatton Garden if you can, the stores in that street are staffed by the most greasy, insincere polecats that ever sold snake oil.
It wouldn't matter if you walked in wearing an Admiral of the Fleet uniform, a tuxedo, or jeans and a leather jacket, you'll be treated as a mug who's to be separated from as much of his money as possible, in as supercilious a manner as they can muster.
I bought the ring at an Asian jewellery store in Upton Park E7, naturally, they didn't give it away, they made their profit, but I felt that I was treated fairly, and not cajoled by a mealy mouthed shyster.
It's worth remembering that the "mark up" on diamonds runs from 300% to 1000%, Google jewellery mark ups and check.
I read of a jewellery chain in N.Z./Australia that sold rings that cost them A$ 470 for A$ 9995!
These "guidelines" of at least a month, or two months salary didn't fit with me, as I was self-employed, and didn't draw a salary.
I was a London black cab driver, and you could earn a nice few quid in the days before Uber bought their way on to the streets.
I only worked a three day week, but long days, that more than paid the mortgage and all household bills, although my girlfriend always paid for the weekly shop.
I covered everything else, insurances, her car servicing, holidays, if she needed anything for the house, new vacuum cleaner, new window blinds etc., she just pointed, and I paid.
Anyhoo, her ring cost about as much as I'd earn if I worked 7 ten hour days then.
One thing I would say, and this is purely my opinion, avoid Hatton Garden if you can, the stores in that street are staffed by the most greasy, insincere polecats that ever sold snake oil.
It wouldn't matter if you walked in wearing an Admiral of the Fleet uniform, a tuxedo, or jeans and a leather jacket, you'll be treated as a mug who's to be separated from as much of his money as possible, in as supercilious a manner as they can muster.
I bought the ring at an Asian jewellery store in Upton Park E7, naturally, they didn't give it away, they made their profit, but I felt that I was treated fairly, and not cajoled by a mealy mouthed shyster.
It's worth remembering that the "mark up" on diamonds runs from 300% to 1000%, Google jewellery mark ups and check.
I read of a jewellery chain in N.Z./Australia that sold rings that cost them A$ 470 for A$ 9995!
Go to the watches thread.
Look for Ecain63
https://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&...
He does amazing work - and he should be able to assist with a diamond.
Look for Ecain63
https://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&...
He does amazing work - and he should be able to assist with a diamond.
The "proper amount to spend" is a load of industry horse. Spend what you think is right. I'd rather have a nice holiday and mrs hairy agrees, which is exactly what I did to propose.
Didnt bother to ask the old man either, just joked about next time the mrs skyped them "oh john I'm sure I had something I meant to say to you..."
Of course everyones different if she/her family are more trad then theres a lot of symbolism tied up in the right £££ to spend and the permission blah blah and you dont want the ring she has to wear for years thinking you cheaped out on her.
Didnt bother to ask the old man either, just joked about next time the mrs skyped them "oh john I'm sure I had something I meant to say to you..."
Of course everyones different if she/her family are more trad then theres a lot of symbolism tied up in the right £££ to spend and the permission blah blah and you dont want the ring she has to wear for years thinking you cheaped out on her.
BlueNile or James Allen online, the value is brilliant, I paid massively below UK high street value, all certified and above board, a friend has just bought his from there too.
I believe Blue Nile have updated their site now but I used James Allen as you can individually select and see the exact diamond you are ordering, staff are really helpful too and all custom made.
1.01 centre and 0.6 in a halo around it, where we are in Germany similar rings were circa €15k as the mark up and city centre tax are ridiculous, I paid nowhere near that (be aware some jewellers grade their own diamonds ...).
I believe Blue Nile have updated their site now but I used James Allen as you can individually select and see the exact diamond you are ordering, staff are really helpful too and all custom made.
1.01 centre and 0.6 in a halo around it, where we are in Germany similar rings were circa €15k as the mark up and city centre tax are ridiculous, I paid nowhere near that (be aware some jewellers grade their own diamonds ...).
To answer the questions.
Ring
Spend what you are comfortable with, not what convention says - but do get it through a jeweller you are happy with and get on. Remember you will have a wedding ring to buy later and an eternity ring if you are doing this "right". Someone happy to do alterations and make the next rings to match and fit next to each other.
Asking her dad
Do it, it sounds important to her and if so you should. Luckily we both play golf so took him for a round and asked him on the course.
Proposing
If you have no memorable places, then make one with this - if she doesn't want it with people round then choose a nice park or woodland where it is a nice surrounding. Though plan where you are going to do it. From experience, wandering around a foreign city with the ring in the pocket will make you feel like Frodo Bagins wondering if this spot you are in feels good or not.
Ring
Spend what you are comfortable with, not what convention says - but do get it through a jeweller you are happy with and get on. Remember you will have a wedding ring to buy later and an eternity ring if you are doing this "right". Someone happy to do alterations and make the next rings to match and fit next to each other.
Asking her dad
Do it, it sounds important to her and if so you should. Luckily we both play golf so took him for a round and asked him on the course.
Proposing
If you have no memorable places, then make one with this - if she doesn't want it with people round then choose a nice park or woodland where it is a nice surrounding. Though plan where you are going to do it. From experience, wandering around a foreign city with the ring in the pocket will make you feel like Frodo Bagins wondering if this spot you are in feels good or not.
Bought one in Gibraltar last year on the spur of the moment. It was listed for 6.5k ish, but we spent ages discussing and made it clear we couldn't afford that. She was very set on it, though, so I sent her off shopping down the street and began bartering. I managed to do a deal for just under 4k. Once home, I got it valued and it came back as worth 4.3k. I was happy with that! I can't be the only one who bought it with her present?
Though 12 months later and she still hasn't received it yet!
Though 12 months later and she still hasn't received it yet!
SteveS Cup said:
Hi all,
So, been with the girlfriend for 9 years in October, we've lived together for the last 4 years and we bought our first please together earlier this year. So it's probably about time we got married!
I've got so much going round my head I need to get some of this written down and waffle for a bit!
Firstly, the ring... I stupidly thought I'd be able to get something impressive for circa £2k... this seems somewhat optimistic after 2 trips to Bluewater and a day in Hatton Garden. So I've set a budget of £4K now. Does this seem a tad excessive? I don't mean to be too tight, and to some this I'm sure is mere loose change to them but hey! I keep on being told by others how they got 1ct solitaires for £2k yet nearly every trilogy ring with 0.5ct centre and 2 x 0.25ct eithe side is in the £3-£4K region... I know clarity / colour comes in to it but I just want to make sure I'm getting a good deal (not trying to save money but just get the most for the money!).
Diamonds are a complete nightmare... so many factors to them it's difficult to compare them!
I am not doing this in the most traditional way and the gf has come with me to basically choose what she wants (without discussing price) and she's always drawn to 3 stone rings.
We've now got an appointment in 2 weeks time with a guy who will make her a one off ring in his workshop in Hatton Garden.
How much discount can you expect from a high street jeweller? 15-20%?
In terms of asking her father... sounds silly but am I just supposed to ask him "Can I marry your daughter?"... we get on very well and he has a great sense of humour so I'm guessing his reply will be "are you sure!?" But I still want to get this part right as I know it's important to her.
And then, where do I propose!? I know shed hate anything in public / restaurant / with any audience but as bad as this sounds, there aren't really many memorable places / special places I could take her to do it! Would you just book a weekend away somewhere and wing it!?
Any help / advice on any of the above would be greatly appreciated right now!
In regards to the ring, considering you've been together for nine years you probably have some vague idea of her preferences (although I imagine you zone out like I do when such topics occur). However I know for my partner clarity would be much more important than size, so when the time comes for me to buy a ring I know I will focus on clarity primarily. However if your partner holds the size of the rock in higher esteem, then focus on that. Unfortunately in the absence of very generous budgets 10k+ it is very difficult nail all three C's (or is there four?). While I don't have personal experience but from friends and family, you can get very tidy discounts from Hatton Garden dealers but you have to be persistent and a bit shameless! (perhaps send your partner away for a coffee during this process lol).So, been with the girlfriend for 9 years in October, we've lived together for the last 4 years and we bought our first please together earlier this year. So it's probably about time we got married!
I've got so much going round my head I need to get some of this written down and waffle for a bit!
Firstly, the ring... I stupidly thought I'd be able to get something impressive for circa £2k... this seems somewhat optimistic after 2 trips to Bluewater and a day in Hatton Garden. So I've set a budget of £4K now. Does this seem a tad excessive? I don't mean to be too tight, and to some this I'm sure is mere loose change to them but hey! I keep on being told by others how they got 1ct solitaires for £2k yet nearly every trilogy ring with 0.5ct centre and 2 x 0.25ct eithe side is in the £3-£4K region... I know clarity / colour comes in to it but I just want to make sure I'm getting a good deal (not trying to save money but just get the most for the money!).
Diamonds are a complete nightmare... so many factors to them it's difficult to compare them!
I am not doing this in the most traditional way and the gf has come with me to basically choose what she wants (without discussing price) and she's always drawn to 3 stone rings.
We've now got an appointment in 2 weeks time with a guy who will make her a one off ring in his workshop in Hatton Garden.
How much discount can you expect from a high street jeweller? 15-20%?
In terms of asking her father... sounds silly but am I just supposed to ask him "Can I marry your daughter?"... we get on very well and he has a great sense of humour so I'm guessing his reply will be "are you sure!?" But I still want to get this part right as I know it's important to her.
And then, where do I propose!? I know shed hate anything in public / restaurant / with any audience but as bad as this sounds, there aren't really many memorable places / special places I could take her to do it! Would you just book a weekend away somewhere and wing it!?
Any help / advice on any of the above would be greatly appreciated right now!
For the actual proposal, again, this comes down to what your partner would prefer. I know mine would be mortified if I made a public proposal. However many women would love to be proposed to in front of an audience or in a public space. In 9 years you probably have that special 'somewhere' with great memories or poignant moments attached to it where you could propose. If not, then abroad always does the trick. Amalfi Coast? I'd personally avoid cliche places like Paris...
Ring: definitely recommended vintage . . . even if it wasn't a question of value, I think the colour of the gold is more subtle and Victorian / Edwardian / Art Deco designs can be gorgeous.
Bought two rings at this place, highly recommended . . I think they have far more stock than is on the website . . think sweet shop for jewellery . .
https://arullmann.com/product-category/rings/
Bought two rings at this place, highly recommended . . I think they have far more stock than is on the website . . think sweet shop for jewellery . .
https://arullmann.com/product-category/rings/
Client of mine www.77diamonds.com. Have a read through the website then visit if you want. You won't be disappointed and you won't do better
Wobbegong said:
and not question the value. If she does question it, say it's a custom design 
If she does question it, find a new girlfriend! I found a ring at a local jewellers, that was something I knew my girlfriend would like, she doesn't know the value but it was nowhere near the prices discussed here, and nowhere near what any "convention" dictates.
I asked her dad after the fact, but if I'd been able to I'd have asked him beforehand in the pub. Not as a full-on, traditional "permission" thing, but more to tell him of my plans ahead of time.
I had the ring with me when we went on a holiday, and I proposed when it felt right, on a beach somewhere.
In short, don't listen to anything and do what feels right for you and your girlfriend, are you getting a ring you want her to like, or a ring you want to get a return on when you sell it?
Where- Been going out for 4 years. Went on a camping holiday in Austria. Proposed as the Ferris Wheel in the Prata got to the top. Back at the tent I got struck by lightning after opening an umbrella getting out of the car in a thunderstorm.
Permission- Asked her Dad the moment we got back. He was expecting it.
Ring - Went to York so she could choose one. This on the condition that I could buy a 357 Magnum from York Guns. (Many, many years ago) Asked the bloke there if I could collect the pistol on my way back. Him "Why, where are you going?" me "to buy an engagement ring". Him " Take the gun and get it for free!"
OP Just go as your feel, there is no right or wrong way.
Permission- Asked her Dad the moment we got back. He was expecting it.
Ring - Went to York so she could choose one. This on the condition that I could buy a 357 Magnum from York Guns. (Many, many years ago) Asked the bloke there if I could collect the pistol on my way back. Him "Why, where are you going?" me "to buy an engagement ring". Him " Take the gun and get it for free!"
OP Just go as your feel, there is no right or wrong way.
Where - in front of a roaring fire on a cold November night at our house in France
Permission - I asked her father in advance, but he was in his 90's so old school
Ring - bought sale or return (!) from Grays Antiques Market next to Bond Street tube. Roughly 2.5 carat solitaire vintage ring for £3k ish back in the late 90's.
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