Why should I join Facebook?
Discussion
I have never felt the need to join any social media - not on Facebook or Twitter and not even sure I understand the need for Snapchat and Instagram.
However, my current (recent) g/f commented that it would be nice if I was on there. Apparently, I could be 'tagged' in photos and all sorts of other useful stuff.
I'm not particularly enthusiastic, but wonder if that's because I'm making unfounded assumptions - which are :
I don't want or need 1000 'friends' I don't know
I don't care that 'James' just had toast for breakfast or any other pointless detail of a person's mundane life
I have no desire to spend every second glued to my phone to see what updates people have made
I don't particularly want an organisation to know who my friends are, what I say to them or what we're planning
I like the privacy of not being easily found on social media (although I am on LinkedIn)
On the positive side - it would let me keep in touch with a few people I've lost touch with and I know that a lot of companies are very Facebook focused. Plus, if it all goes horribly wrong with the current g/f having a Facebook account means I could use Tinder!
So, what am I missing? Am I really going to find it's the greatest thing since sliced bread if I join or am I better off without it?
However, my current (recent) g/f commented that it would be nice if I was on there. Apparently, I could be 'tagged' in photos and all sorts of other useful stuff.
I'm not particularly enthusiastic, but wonder if that's because I'm making unfounded assumptions - which are :
I don't want or need 1000 'friends' I don't know
I don't care that 'James' just had toast for breakfast or any other pointless detail of a person's mundane life
I have no desire to spend every second glued to my phone to see what updates people have made
I don't particularly want an organisation to know who my friends are, what I say to them or what we're planning
I like the privacy of not being easily found on social media (although I am on LinkedIn)
On the positive side - it would let me keep in touch with a few people I've lost touch with and I know that a lot of companies are very Facebook focused. Plus, if it all goes horribly wrong with the current g/f having a Facebook account means I could use Tinder!
So, what am I missing? Am I really going to find it's the greatest thing since sliced bread if I join or am I better off without it?
Edited by davek_964 on Thursday 3rd August 07:01
My eldest two kids are currently away at Scout camp, and their younger sibling is with Grandparents for a few days.
The Scouts are putting up photos of their daily activities on Facebook a couple of times a day, so we get to see the happy, smiley kids having a good time.
Unsurprisingly, the Grandparents haven't jumped on the social media bandwagon, so we just get fairly monosyllabic updates on the phone from youngest, and will doubtless get some photos in the post in a week or so from his Gran.
I'm not remotely neurotic as a parent, and love getting shot of the little buggers for a bit of privacy, but it's definitely nice to see a little bit of what they're up to whilst they're away!
It's also really useful as a source of information (what trails are closed for logging, where it's particularly muddy etc) for mountain biking, as, I'm sure, would be the case for lots of other hobbies too.
The Scouts are putting up photos of their daily activities on Facebook a couple of times a day, so we get to see the happy, smiley kids having a good time.
Unsurprisingly, the Grandparents haven't jumped on the social media bandwagon, so we just get fairly monosyllabic updates on the phone from youngest, and will doubtless get some photos in the post in a week or so from his Gran.
I'm not remotely neurotic as a parent, and love getting shot of the little buggers for a bit of privacy, but it's definitely nice to see a little bit of what they're up to whilst they're away!
It's also really useful as a source of information (what trails are closed for logging, where it's particularly muddy etc) for mountain biking, as, I'm sure, would be the case for lots of other hobbies too.
I used it both Facebook and twitter for a few years quite actively and gave them both up about 4yrs ago (maybe longer) and haven't regretted it. My OH has never used it.
I dislike the social intrusion of others checking you in places, tagging you in photos, endless game requests, friend requests off people who walk by you in the street without a word or a glance ... 95% at least is fake and aspirational BS trying to impress with "look at me" lifestyles
I've never looked back and have no wish to ever return to such - I understand all the above but even still, I hear other parents banging on about their 'closed groups' about the school etc... and have no desire to be a part of any of it
As a side note we have taken a strong stance with our daughter as well and not one image of her exists online from either pre-birth or since - as it's her choice and she can't make an informed judgement on that yet. My sister wasn't happy as she is a prolific facebooker by all accounts but those are the rules!
I dislike the social intrusion of others checking you in places, tagging you in photos, endless game requests, friend requests off people who walk by you in the street without a word or a glance ... 95% at least is fake and aspirational BS trying to impress with "look at me" lifestyles
I've never looked back and have no wish to ever return to such - I understand all the above but even still, I hear other parents banging on about their 'closed groups' about the school etc... and have no desire to be a part of any of it
As a side note we have taken a strong stance with our daughter as well and not one image of her exists online from either pre-birth or since - as it's her choice and she can't make an informed judgement on that yet. My sister wasn't happy as she is a prolific facebooker by all accounts but those are the rules!
It's what you make of it. If you want a pleasant and worthwhile experience on Facebook, your friends should be made up of:
Some people collect friends like f*cking Pokémon and then complain that their newsfeed is 97% horse sh*t. Like I say, it's what you make of it.
- Your actual close friends. The kind of friends who would help you move a body.
- Family you like
Some people collect friends like f*cking Pokémon and then complain that their newsfeed is 97% horse sh*t. Like I say, it's what you make of it.
alorotom said:
As a side note we have taken a strong stance with our daughter as well and not one image of her exists online from either pre-birth or since - as it's her choice and she can't make an informed judgement on that yet. My sister wasn't happy as she is a prolific facebooker by all accounts but those are the rules!
I can understand all your other reasons for not participating in social media, but this one just frankly bamboozles me! You sound like one of those remote jungle tribes who thought a photo stole part of their soul!I don't know if you'll change once your daughter reaches an age where she's participating in organised activities such as Rainbows or Beavers, but please spare a thought for the simple pleasure you'll be spoiling for loads of other parents when they have to go through all their photos of the whole group having fun and realise they can't post a single one of them because the parent of just one child (and in my experience of such activities with three kids up to the age of 15, you almost certainly will be the only one) in the group has ticked the box saying "no, you can't put any photos of my children on the internet".
I've only come across one set of parents who refused to have any photos of their child published online, and they were adoptive parents where the child had been removed from its natural parents against their will for its own safety. Even they relented after a few years once they were comfortable that there was no serious likelihood of the natural parents recognising the child any more.
What do you fear will happen if a photo of your daughter appears on the internet? Equally, if your sister is such an avid user of Facebook and you're not on there to check, how do you actually know that there are no photos of your daughter on there, even if it's just in the background of a shot at a family gathering?
I love Facebook snobs who proudly spout about not using it and how superior they are to everyone else because they "don't care what Dave had for breakfast"
facebook can be a brilliant tool for organising events, keeping in touch with people you never get to see, keeping up to date with local events (our local police are very active, posting real time road closures etc) keeping up to date with news, sport local businesses etc.
Nearly all my news content comes from my Facebook feed these days. I don't ever visit the websites of BBC news, SkySports, Local radio, Everton FC etc, everything is in one place and I have control of how much or how little I see.
Go to a s
t pub with st mates and you will have a st evening talking st.
Go to a decent pub with mates with similar intellect and interests and the evening is what you put into it.
facebook can be a brilliant tool for organising events, keeping in touch with people you never get to see, keeping up to date with local events (our local police are very active, posting real time road closures etc) keeping up to date with news, sport local businesses etc.
Nearly all my news content comes from my Facebook feed these days. I don't ever visit the websites of BBC news, SkySports, Local radio, Everton FC etc, everything is in one place and I have control of how much or how little I see.
Go to a s
t pub with st mates and you will have a st evening talking st.Go to a decent pub with mates with similar intellect and interests and the evening is what you put into it.
It's turning in to right bks, I used it to keep in touch with family member as we're not close and people I worked with or went to school with.
Today my feed is filled with profile pictures of people I don't know because some friend "liked" it, the same with videos someone liked or news articles. I have been invited to a damn support group by an old colleague for people with mental health issues which I left swiftly but still see every flippin comment made about how someone feels worthless because no one liked their profile picture.
It's turning into wk, I only want to see when my family is having a barbecue!!
ks, I used it to keep in touch with family member as we're not close and people I worked with or went to school with.Today my feed is filled with profile pictures of people I don't know because some friend "liked" it, the same with videos someone liked or news articles. I have been invited to a damn support group by an old colleague for people with mental health issues which I left swiftly but still see every flippin comment made about how someone feels worthless because no one liked their profile picture.
It's turning into w
k, I only want to see when my family is having a barbecue!!FB is so much more than what the Doomsayers will have you realise. It's so adjustable you can fine tune it to suit yourself.
I use it for entertainment and general interest rather than socialising, like most I couldn't care less if Claires poo was an odd colour this morning, but then it begs the question, what the heck are you doing on here? You can use FB in just the same way.
You can have friends on there, but cancel notifications from them so get the best of both Worlds.
You can make your page private so no-one can see it unless you let them.
If you have any interest in anything legal there will be a page for it, personally I like local history, humour and certain types of car so I'm on pages relevant to that. If I get tired of what i'm being fed and it becomes repetitive (as they often do) I cancel notifications and just visit the pages when i've got 5 minutes to kill, quite often it's just something to do while i'm taking a dump.
The only downside for me is that people who you've barely or no connection with want to be 'friends'. Now I don't want someone I barely know knowing my personal business, but you get a request from them, then turn it down and they see it as rejection and never speak to you or mention you in conversation ever again!
There is now a link between PH and FB in that there is a page on there called 'You're so Council'.
I use it for entertainment and general interest rather than socialising, like most I couldn't care less if Claires poo was an odd colour this morning, but then it begs the question, what the heck are you doing on here? You can use FB in just the same way.
You can have friends on there, but cancel notifications from them so get the best of both Worlds.
You can make your page private so no-one can see it unless you let them.
If you have any interest in anything legal there will be a page for it, personally I like local history, humour and certain types of car so I'm on pages relevant to that. If I get tired of what i'm being fed and it becomes repetitive (as they often do) I cancel notifications and just visit the pages when i've got 5 minutes to kill, quite often it's just something to do while i'm taking a dump.
The only downside for me is that people who you've barely or no connection with want to be 'friends'. Now I don't want someone I barely know knowing my personal business, but you get a request from them, then turn it down and they see it as rejection and never speak to you or mention you in conversation ever again!
There is now a link between PH and FB in that there is a page on there called 'You're so Council'.
Edited by 227bhp on Thursday 3rd August 08:39
I use Linked In for business but no Facebook or any other social media. I understand the utility but have no desire to be tracked and profiled. I have the real friends that I want and post on the odd website like PH. Very little interest in targeted advertising and so on. Not sure why I would ever need to hook up with people from my long ago past. No interest in posting selfies or seeing them. I certainly don't think my daily life is in the least bit interesting to others.
I know and respect that others have tremendous value from FB but it's not for me.
I know and respect that others have tremendous value from FB but it's not for me.
Kermit power said:
I can understand all your other reasons for not participating in social media, but this one just frankly bamboozles me! You sound like one of those remote jungle tribes who thought a photo stole part of their soul!
I don't know if you'll change once your daughter reaches an age where she's participating in organised activities such as Rainbows or Beavers, but please spare a thought for the simple pleasure you'll be spoiling for loads of other parents when they have to go through all their photos of the whole group having fun and realise they can't post a single one of them because the parent of just one child (and in my experience of such activities with three kids up to the age of 15, you almost certainly will be the only one) in the group has ticked the box saying "no, you can't put any photos of my children on the internet".
I've only come across one set of parents who refused to have any photos of their child published online, and they were adoptive parents where the child had been removed from its natural parents against their will for its own safety. Even they relented after a few years once they were comfortable that there was no serious likelihood of the natural parents recognising the child any more.
What do you fear will happen if a photo of your daughter appears on the internet? Equally, if your sister is such an avid user of Facebook and you're not on there to check, how do you actually know that there are no photos of your daughter on there, even if it's just in the background of a shot at a family gathering?
At the point where she can objectively decide if she wants images of herself online then it becomes her decision, until then it's ours. I know for fact that if there was hundreds of pictures floating around online of me from being a baby to current I wouldn't be very happy at all - We believe it should be her choice (which I think is a difficult point to argue in fairness)I don't know if you'll change once your daughter reaches an age where she's participating in organised activities such as Rainbows or Beavers, but please spare a thought for the simple pleasure you'll be spoiling for loads of other parents when they have to go through all their photos of the whole group having fun and realise they can't post a single one of them because the parent of just one child (and in my experience of such activities with three kids up to the age of 15, you almost certainly will be the only one) in the group has ticked the box saying "no, you can't put any photos of my children on the internet".
I've only come across one set of parents who refused to have any photos of their child published online, and they were adoptive parents where the child had been removed from its natural parents against their will for its own safety. Even they relented after a few years once they were comfortable that there was no serious likelihood of the natural parents recognising the child any more.
What do you fear will happen if a photo of your daughter appears on the internet? Equally, if your sister is such an avid user of Facebook and you're not on there to check, how do you actually know that there are no photos of your daughter on there, even if it's just in the background of a shot at a family gathering?
I would challenge that all parents should spare a thought for the others, just because we may take a minority approach doesn't mean we are wrong and should bend to the majority
I trust my sister, we abided by her rules when her son was little and I expect the same - I have no reason to disbelieve her. Luckily we have a very small family on both sides with family gatherings once in a blue moon - i.e. non in the past 4yrs
RDMcG said:
I use Linked In for business but no Facebook or any other social media. I understand the utility but have no desire to be tracked and profiled. I have the real friends that I want and post on the odd website like PH. Very little interest in targeted advertising and so on. Not sure why I would ever need to hook up with people from my long ago past. No interest in posting selfies or seeing them. I certainly don't think my daily life is in the least bit interesting to others.
I know and respect that others have tremendous value from FB but it's not for me.
Yet you regularly post up on here, which in many ways is just the same.I know and respect that others have tremendous value from FB but it's not for me.
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