Dating Dilema!
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AuthurDaley

Original Poster:

566 posts

237 months

Tuesday 21st November 2017
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Been online dating for about 2 years, many no strings encounters and no real dramas to date, it's fairly easy going.

Been seeing a girl 10 years my junior (early twenties) for about a month. she seems quite keen, or bored, one of the two.

Last weekend she invites me to a work gathering of hers, where I get the feeling she is not particularly well liked. During the evening it leaks out she had an affair with a married doctor, she had kind of mentioned something about it before but it was a cringe moment and almost a thought of wtf am I doing here from myself.

There's been a few other alarm bells with her, my female mates tell me to give her a chance but something inside of me makes me feel like she is a wrong'un and a home wrecker, and at that age she will only get worse.

What do we think about this modern dating tale?

Cheers

TooMany2cvs

29,008 posts

156 months

Tuesday 21st November 2017
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AuthurDaley said:
Been seeing a girl 10 years my junior (early twenties)
I hope you mean she's early 20s, not you...

R6VED

1,492 posts

170 months

Tuesday 21st November 2017
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At this early stage in a relationship, you clearly have doubts. Unless you really really like her I would personally exit stage left.

fido

18,917 posts

285 months

Tuesday 21st November 2017
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chuck her, then move on. Don't give her your home or work address.

Edited by cato.mod on Tuesday 21st November 20:40

BMWBen

4,906 posts

231 months

Tuesday 21st November 2017
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If you've got no home to be wrecked, then what's the problem beer

AllyBassman

779 posts

142 months

Tuesday 21st November 2017
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I'd get out now while you can.

Unless the sex is good? Then maybe keep it going a little longer....

Johnnytheboy

24,499 posts

216 months

Tuesday 21st November 2017
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How big are her boobs?

Any further discussion is moot until that's clear.

designforlife

3,742 posts

193 months

Tuesday 21st November 2017
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i wouldn't necessarily let the affair thing, or other peoples judgements of her put you off.

Make your own assessments, some people probably really don't like me, but my gf didn't base her opinion of me on what anyone else thinks, and neither did i of her.

As for the affair thing, that can be pretty relative and contextual...ask her about the circumstances, try to see it from all angles. Just because she fooled around with a married guy doesn't mean she will mess you around, necessarily.

my soon to be fiance had an affair with a married guy for a good few years, i know the entire story inside and out, and it doesn't bother me in the slightest tbh...but then we are both very secure in our relationship.

The only thing that would ring alarm bells with me would be the age gap, girls in their early 20s can be very flighty, and usually haven't decided what they actual want from life, yet alone a partner.

anonymous-user

84 months

Tuesday 21st November 2017
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Er, pics before any judgement is made.

captain_cynic

17,396 posts

125 months

Tuesday 21st November 2017
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AuthurDaley said:
During the evening it leaks out she had an affair with a married doctor, she had kind of mentioned something about it before but it was a cringe moment and almost a thought of wtf am I doing here from myself.
Was she single when she had the affair? Maintaining the sanctity of someone else's marriage isn't everyone else's responsibility and it takes two to tango.

How bad are the other warning bells? Also how much are you willing to invest (potentially lose) in this relationship?

Marcellus

7,204 posts

249 months

Tuesday 21st November 2017
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Johnnytheboy said:
How big are her boobs?

Any further discussion is moot until that's clear.
I thought you needed photos before any further discussion!

ferrariF50lover

1,834 posts

256 months

Tuesday 21st November 2017
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Johnnytheboy said:
How big are her boobs?

Any further discussion is moot until that's clear.
Look, I know this isn't very PC and I really ought to be more grown up but...

rofl

Filton-flyer

436 posts

117 months

Tuesday 21st November 2017
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I love these threads, they always make me smile!
OP, with the greatest of respect, do you really hope to get a sensible answer from a motoring based forum?biggrin
Anyway, on with the humorous replies........

Has anyone mentioned the OXO tower yet?biglaugh

On a sensible note though, if your'e getting negative vibes maybe it's time to move on.....

D1bram

1,518 posts

201 months

Tuesday 21st November 2017
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What's the dilemma here exactly?

Worried what others say about her?

Do you like her? Maybe just see how it goes and take it slowly if you're unsure.

How much about her past has she divulged to you? I recently had a relationship go sour leaving me very hurt.. it was only afterwards I found out her behaviour was typical and repeated over a number of previous relationships. But while we were together I found no need to ask about her past. Lesson learnt.

Plate spinner

18,084 posts

230 months

Tuesday 21st November 2017
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If she's fit enough, proceed with caution I guess.

anonymous-user

84 months

Tuesday 21st November 2017
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Plate spinner said:
If she's fit enough, proceed with caution I guess.
This, oh and don't trust her if she says she is on the pill. Guy here at work fell for that, 2 months in he dumped her which is when she revealed she was pregnant. Got herself a good meal ticket now.

TwistingMyMelon

6,516 posts

235 months

Tuesday 21st November 2017
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Ask your mother to come and hold your hand when out on dates?

AuthurDaley

Original Poster:

566 posts

237 months

Tuesday 21st November 2017
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I got more replies on this than any car related post!

I think I know what I need to do, after several online encounters not many leave me with a bad vibe like this one.

In terms of being fit it's probably a 6/10, more quirk and sex appeal than beauty I would say.

Will consider having a chat with her or winding down all communication. Am inclined to forget the civilised chat - of all my online encounters I find it pretty shocking and disshapointing that someone of this age would have no issue banging a married elder doctor.


paul789

4,261 posts

134 months

Tuesday 21st November 2017
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My instincts say, run. Probably just projecting.

anonymous-user

84 months

Tuesday 21st November 2017
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AuthurDaley said:
In terms of being fit it's probably a 6/10, more quirk and sex appeal than beauty I would say.
So what you are saying is she is filth?? I am sure if you go back to the online dating sites you will lose interest in her and it will all fizz out anyway.
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