Last time someone disappointed you
Discussion
Or "let you down" 
A girl (not a partner or likely to be) I used to work with was recently diagnosed with a fairly serious health concern. She left work immediately and went back to live with her parents in another part of the country. But seems very few people heard from her. I left a (nice) message on her Instagram and got a fairly combative response. Wondered if it was me, or just stress from the health stuff. Didn't seem like the happy go lucky person I knew before. Someone that I believed I got on with, had rapport with and was more of a friend than some in the business.
Around NY I sent her another message hoping she was ok. Few weeks passed and got a reply saying "health was Dr's being over cautious, not as serious as first thought, recovering very well thanks, if you're ever nearby give me a shout" (I suspect we both know I'm not going to drive 200miles tbh)
Mentioned it to a mutual friend of ours. He text her saying that I'd mentioned it and was pleased she was doing better. He showed me the reply! (paraphrasing)
"Well f
k him, shouldn't get his hopes up (
) who cares about anyone at that place, (my employer) I cant remember half their names anyway LOL"
Classy!
Obviously people change, and it happens and we shouldn't be surprised. But sometimes it makes you feel like a chump.
Of course she hasn't blocked me on FB or Instagram, which in a way makes it worse. I can totally accept people thinking I'm not worth associating with. 
But to pretend to like me is worse IMO. I'm just debating whether I should take the initiative
So over to you lot, for tales of weirdness
A girl (not a partner or likely to be) I used to work with was recently diagnosed with a fairly serious health concern. She left work immediately and went back to live with her parents in another part of the country. But seems very few people heard from her. I left a (nice) message on her Instagram and got a fairly combative response. Wondered if it was me, or just stress from the health stuff. Didn't seem like the happy go lucky person I knew before. Someone that I believed I got on with, had rapport with and was more of a friend than some in the business.
Around NY I sent her another message hoping she was ok. Few weeks passed and got a reply saying "health was Dr's being over cautious, not as serious as first thought, recovering very well thanks, if you're ever nearby give me a shout" (I suspect we both know I'm not going to drive 200miles tbh)
Mentioned it to a mutual friend of ours. He text her saying that I'd mentioned it and was pleased she was doing better. He showed me the reply! (paraphrasing)
"Well f
k him, shouldn't get his hopes up ( ) who cares about anyone at that place, (my employer) I cant remember half their names anyway LOL" Classy!
Obviously people change, and it happens and we shouldn't be surprised. But sometimes it makes you feel like a chump.
Of course she hasn't blocked me on FB or Instagram, which in a way makes it worse. I can totally accept people thinking I'm not worth associating with. But to pretend to like me is worse IMO. I'm just debating whether I should take the initiative So over to you lot, for tales of weirdness
alorotom said:
In the thread about lending people money from a year or so ago, I was genuinely let down but the person I lent the cash to and how they went about sorting (or avoiding) it.
Life lesson - don’t lend to friends, they won’t be friends very long after!
Absolutely; I couldn't agree more. I have bailed my brother out a few times but I thought of it as a give rather than a lend, he always paid up once he was back on the straight and narrow, I treated that as a bonus, frankly, as I was happy to help.Life lesson - don’t lend to friends, they won’t be friends very long after!
Not me directly, but my brother was let down by a very close friend of his. Said close friend was stuck in a nightmare job, a position in my brother's company was coming up, which he believed said friend would be well suited to, and spent alot of time canvassing on his friend's behalf to get him the job - introduced him to MD, coached him on the role, gave him a real foot in the door and got his face known etc etc etc friend gets the job, all is well. About six months later my brother receives a text whilst at work from said friend - which he sent to my brother by mistake, he intended to send it to the MD - slagging my brother off, implying he wasn't doing his job properly and that my brother was trying to hide things and being less than honest, at the same time saying how much he appreciated being given the job, how he 'thought the world' of the MD and would 'always have his back' etc etc etc WHAT A fkING SNAKE!!!!!!!!!!!
After a the equivalent of a small nuclear explosion had detonated in an office somewhere in Nottingham, he calmed down, and after a series of meetings, now ex friend decided to resign.
kING SNAKE!!!!!!!!!!! After a the equivalent of a small nuclear explosion had detonated in an office somewhere in Nottingham, he calmed down, and after a series of meetings, now ex friend decided to resign.
Had a few instances over the years. Mate of mine I was in Uni with hit a bad patch. We finished Uni but he struggled to get work, GF left him, he had to move back home. He was good at repairing consoles so took him my PS3 to fix and bought a few kits of thermal pastes and all the bits like a heat gun so he could do a few more. He could do mine and do a few others to get a bit of coin to get him going. My mistake was being too trusting. I lost the PS3, he disappeared for a few months and then turned back up as if nothing had happened. Found out through other people he fixed it and sold it on, as well as a few other things. For me the cost was worth it to know what he was like and to not bother with him again.
Friends I've bought cars off or sold cars to has never worked and they quickly stop being friends soon after. Never buy/sell with people you know. A phrase I've always kept in mind is "People are not loyal to you, but they are loyal to their need of you. Once their needs change, so does their loyalty". Always try and look out for it and the second you see them turning, cut them off and drop them out of your life. It just isn't worth it. I learned this lesson the hard way with previous work colleagues, some I considered friends but I know now it wasn't as was only to get ahead.
Friends I've bought cars off or sold cars to has never worked and they quickly stop being friends soon after. Never buy/sell with people you know. A phrase I've always kept in mind is "People are not loyal to you, but they are loyal to their need of you. Once their needs change, so does their loyalty". Always try and look out for it and the second you see them turning, cut them off and drop them out of your life. It just isn't worth it. I learned this lesson the hard way with previous work colleagues, some I considered friends but I know now it wasn't as was only to get ahead.
Edited by KobayashiMaru86 on Saturday 27th January 11:44
My wife hired an work ex-colleague who was being made redundant from her job.
Wife was also having an issue at work with a woman who accused my wife of bullying her. We later found out she had a history of doing this in multiple companies. If she didn't get her way - she played the victim card and accused the person opposing her of bullying.
The ex-colleague my wife hired had befriended this woman and ended up taking her side, substantiating her claims of bullying and even falsely accusing my wife of bullying her too. This kicked off a huge HR investigation.
Despite HR interviewing all the other people in my wife's department, none of whom substantiated the bullying claims - and many providing statements which directly contradicted the bullying claims - my wife was still given a written warning by HR and was eventually forced out of the company.
Wife was also having an issue at work with a woman who accused my wife of bullying her. We later found out she had a history of doing this in multiple companies. If she didn't get her way - she played the victim card and accused the person opposing her of bullying.
The ex-colleague my wife hired had befriended this woman and ended up taking her side, substantiating her claims of bullying and even falsely accusing my wife of bullying her too. This kicked off a huge HR investigation.
Despite HR interviewing all the other people in my wife's department, none of whom substantiated the bullying claims - and many providing statements which directly contradicted the bullying claims - my wife was still given a written warning by HR and was eventually forced out of the company.
about 9 years ago I got depression coupled with alcohol problems. I was not a nice person to be around. As a result my wife an I distanced ourselves from friends while inwas getting better. A couple we had known since uni helped them move house been to their wedding on holiday with helped her husband get a job etc just generally been close an had mercifully never had to see me when I was really bad simply disowned us. I was not that bothered they stopped talking to me but my wife had been their good friend had even paid the husbands final fee at uni as he was in debt an could not graduate without paying the debt. When they found out I was ill suddey we were not good enough for them.
the worse thing was for a few years every birthday we got a text saying happy birthday we replied but no responce an we realised it was an automated message they had just failed to cancel.
Life goes on few people will really stay around when times change for you. I find its better to take people at face value and just move on when times change.
the worse thing was for a few years every birthday we got a text saying happy birthday we replied but no responce an we realised it was an automated message they had just failed to cancel.
Life goes on few people will really stay around when times change for you. I find its better to take people at face value and just move on when times change.
OO Beckton said:
As we speak, she may be bouncing up and down on top of a very large black p, in a nightclub toilet, tears streaming down her angry face; her thoughts lost in a constant sense of frustration that, unlike her smug and narcissistic friends, she has so far failed to meet her own Prince Harry, who would elevate her out of having to work at all and put her into luxury and comfort.
Let her work out that if she treats kind souls like yourself so poorly, then she is doomed to be forever avoided by the emotionally stable. Chin up old boy.
Wow. I'm guessing you may have been 'friend-zoned' more than once or twice..? Let her work out that if she treats kind souls like yourself so poorly, then she is doomed to be forever avoided by the emotionally stable. Chin up old boy.
Never mind, I'm sure they're all doing exactly that. Nightclub toilet, very large black p, tears streaming down angry faces... All of them.
Wow.
Dog Star said:
Left the job I’ve been in for six years yesterday, I set all the framework and systems up - it was brilliant.
Not a single word. No thanks. No “bye”. Nothing.
That’s sNot a single word. No thanks. No “bye”. Nothing.
t but I’m afraid I can beat it.I worked with a guy who retired 18 months ago. He had done 42 years at the company.
In that time he had had maybe a few weeks sick total-most of that was when his daughter passed away.
By coincidence his wife was having a hip replacement on the second to last weekend he was due to work and at nearly 65 and a 120mile commute and Looking after his wife he was feeling the strain so went sick. Fast forward to the following weekend,his last ever set of shifts. My boss calls me(as I was due to handover to him for his last 3 shifts) and says:
Boss: if Dave calls in sick tell him he needs a docs note
Me: Are you tripping? He’s retiring Sunday night
Boss: don’t care need note otherwise he’s in trouble
Me: I don’t think he really gives a s
t if I’m honest. What are you going to do to him?Boss: warning ect
Me: he retiring you tard,won’t you listen??
Boss: company procedures ect
Needless to say Dave did call in sick and I wished him well for the future. No mention was made of Doctors notes and nothing’s been said about it.
That’s the thanks 42 years got him.
Rich_W said:
A girl (not a partner or likely to be) I used to work with was recently diagnosed with a fairly serious health concern. She left work immediately and went back to live with her parents in another part of the country. But seems very few people heard from her. I left a (nice) message on her Instagram and got a fairly combative response. Wondered if it was me, or just stress from the health stuff. Didn't seem like the happy go lucky person I knew before. Someone that I believed I got on with, had rapport with and was more of a friend than some in the business.
Around NY I sent her another message hoping she was ok. Few weeks passed and got a reply saying "health was Dr's being over cautious, not as serious as first thought, recovering very well thanks, if you're ever nearby give me a shout" (I suspect we both know I'm not going to drive 200miles tbh)
Mentioned it to a mutual friend of ours. He text her saying that I'd mentioned it and was pleased she was doing better. He showed me the reply! (paraphrasing)
"Well fk him, shouldn't get his hopes up ( ) who cares about anyone at that place, (my employer) I cant remember half their names anyway LOL"
Reading that...it sounds like you fancied her and she knew you fancied her. She was being polite to your face but possibly irritated by what she perceived as you still “hankering” after her and let this be known to your mutual friend.Around NY I sent her another message hoping she was ok. Few weeks passed and got a reply saying "health was Dr's being over cautious, not as serious as first thought, recovering very well thanks, if you're ever nearby give me a shout" (I suspect we both know I'm not going to drive 200miles tbh)
Mentioned it to a mutual friend of ours. He text her saying that I'd mentioned it and was pleased she was doing better. He showed me the reply! (paraphrasing)
"Well f
k him, shouldn't get his hopes up ( ) who cares about anyone at that place, (my employer) I cant remember half their names anyway LOL" I’d put it down to experience and move on. However I think it’s a bit of a s
tty thing for your mutual friend to show you her text. Makes me wonder why he would do that..... 
Dog Star said:
Left the job I’ve been in for six years yesterday, I set all the framework and systems up - it was brilliant.
Not a single word. No thanks. No “bye”. Nothing.
I've done the same for the last 4 years and I expect similar when I leave. Lots of companies don't care, despite all the personal sacrifice and effort we've put in means nothing to them. We are just numbers. I've seen people who've been here for 10+ years left to leave with no thanks for it. They don't even ask them why they are going and just let them leave. All that knowledge gone. Will be the same when I go as I put it all in. I've written as much as I can down but there will always be that thing that came up once in a blue moon I had to fix that they will have no clue about. Not a single word. No thanks. No “bye”. Nothing.
This didn’t happen to me, but to a young guy that I worked with years ago.
I worked as a tanker driver for a very well known oil company, think GTX.
Every now and again, we would bunker ships in dock with various grades of oils, crankcase, engine lubricant etc. etc.
These jobs almost always required extra coils of hose, to be joined together to reach the coupling area on deck from the truck on the dockside.
For this, we would take a driver’s mate, a young guy to assist with joining the hoses and pulling them up to the deck of the ship.
For this, the kid would get a bonus of maybe £50, plus his regular wage, and any subsistence if the job involved staying away from our London depot.
If a driver was so inclined, he’d do a deal with the kid, give me half your bonus and your subsistence money, stay home, and I’ll call you to arrange going back to the depot with the truck together.
The kids loved this, they got paid and had at least two days off if the job involved one night away.
One day, one driver, an ex para, who thought that he was a tough guy, but his scars and broken nose he got was because he kept losing fights, did the deal with a young kid, who everyone liked, took his dough, and set off alone.
When he got to the ship, in Poole, it was moored maybe 3 metres off the dock, as it was being painted, resulting in him having to work harder, joining extra hoses together.
When he got back to London, he didn’t call the kid, but returned to the depot and told the transport manager that the kid hadn’t shown, so he’d done the job alone.
The kid had to return his bonus, naturally didn’t get paid his subsistence money, which he’d already given the driver, plus got a written warning.
The rest of the drivers shunned the ex para, and sent him to Coventry.
I worked as a tanker driver for a very well known oil company, think GTX.
Every now and again, we would bunker ships in dock with various grades of oils, crankcase, engine lubricant etc. etc.
These jobs almost always required extra coils of hose, to be joined together to reach the coupling area on deck from the truck on the dockside.
For this, we would take a driver’s mate, a young guy to assist with joining the hoses and pulling them up to the deck of the ship.
For this, the kid would get a bonus of maybe £50, plus his regular wage, and any subsistence if the job involved staying away from our London depot.
If a driver was so inclined, he’d do a deal with the kid, give me half your bonus and your subsistence money, stay home, and I’ll call you to arrange going back to the depot with the truck together.
The kids loved this, they got paid and had at least two days off if the job involved one night away.
One day, one driver, an ex para, who thought that he was a tough guy, but his scars and broken nose he got was because he kept losing fights, did the deal with a young kid, who everyone liked, took his dough, and set off alone.
When he got to the ship, in Poole, it was moored maybe 3 metres off the dock, as it was being painted, resulting in him having to work harder, joining extra hoses together.
When he got back to London, he didn’t call the kid, but returned to the depot and told the transport manager that the kid hadn’t shown, so he’d done the job alone.
The kid had to return his bonus, naturally didn’t get paid his subsistence money, which he’d already given the driver, plus got a written warning.
The rest of the drivers shunned the ex para, and sent him to Coventry.
Dads second wife whom he got together with, many years after divorcing my mum, she was a similar age and they had history going back to school.
My sister wasn't keen on her but my dad was happy, myself, wife and 2 daughters welcomed her into the family, no questions asked and got on really well with her, we became closer to her than I was with my biological mum, my youngest in particular was very close to her, particularly as we lived only 2 roads away so we were always popping in, she paid for clubs, school uniform etc.
There was always something there, she was a victim and never, ever wrong and did rule my dad, and she had major issues with my sister (who TBH can be difficult) and had issues with my eldest, however for my dads sake, my side put it to one side and just got on.
They were together 9 years and married 4.5 years when my dad unexpectedly died, things were ok for a while and it seemed that both her and my sister were patching things up but 6 months on from his death there was no communication from her about the will and what was happening with everything, however I knew there was a will but it wasn't valid, I knew what was in it and what my dad wanted, she meanwhile had spent the past 6m or so searching for a will which she believed existed but I knew didn't. Alot was going on behind mine and my sisters back that we weren't officially told about but had found out.
Eventually I confronted her and a massive argument ensued, I stood up to her and she didn't like it and from that point she cast me aside; the person who welcomed her into the family with open arms, the person that supported her during her grief, I put up with alot to help her because I know it would be what my dad would have wanted, I almost had a breakdown because of it all and her subsequent lying and secrecy.
Neither my sister or I were consulted about the house sale (the house that we grew up in), I found out by accident that it was up for sale and then by accident it had been sold, the day that the offer had been accepted, my sister was round there trying to get a few things of ours out of there, my sister wasn't told that it had sold.
There were items that were my grandads that I never retrieved, my dad had decades and decades of tools; I never saw any of them, there were personal items that she claimed she couldn't find but there were items that i received that I know were with these items.
My dad wanted the grandkids to have £1000 in the event of his death, he also wanted myself and my sister to have a 3rd each (she had the other 3rd) of his estate, we have all received nothing, I know none of my dads requests was legally enforceable, however she hasn't carried out any of my fathers wishes; she told us she would.
If there is a hell, she is going straight there, I hope it is soon.
My sister wasn't keen on her but my dad was happy, myself, wife and 2 daughters welcomed her into the family, no questions asked and got on really well with her, we became closer to her than I was with my biological mum, my youngest in particular was very close to her, particularly as we lived only 2 roads away so we were always popping in, she paid for clubs, school uniform etc.
There was always something there, she was a victim and never, ever wrong and did rule my dad, and she had major issues with my sister (who TBH can be difficult) and had issues with my eldest, however for my dads sake, my side put it to one side and just got on.
They were together 9 years and married 4.5 years when my dad unexpectedly died, things were ok for a while and it seemed that both her and my sister were patching things up but 6 months on from his death there was no communication from her about the will and what was happening with everything, however I knew there was a will but it wasn't valid, I knew what was in it and what my dad wanted, she meanwhile had spent the past 6m or so searching for a will which she believed existed but I knew didn't. Alot was going on behind mine and my sisters back that we weren't officially told about but had found out.
Eventually I confronted her and a massive argument ensued, I stood up to her and she didn't like it and from that point she cast me aside; the person who welcomed her into the family with open arms, the person that supported her during her grief, I put up with alot to help her because I know it would be what my dad would have wanted, I almost had a breakdown because of it all and her subsequent lying and secrecy.
Neither my sister or I were consulted about the house sale (the house that we grew up in), I found out by accident that it was up for sale and then by accident it had been sold, the day that the offer had been accepted, my sister was round there trying to get a few things of ours out of there, my sister wasn't told that it had sold.
There were items that were my grandads that I never retrieved, my dad had decades and decades of tools; I never saw any of them, there were personal items that she claimed she couldn't find but there were items that i received that I know were with these items.
My dad wanted the grandkids to have £1000 in the event of his death, he also wanted myself and my sister to have a 3rd each (she had the other 3rd) of his estate, we have all received nothing, I know none of my dads requests was legally enforceable, however she hasn't carried out any of my fathers wishes; she told us she would.
If there is a hell, she is going straight there, I hope it is soon.
Countdown said:
Reading that...it sounds like you fancied her and she knew you fancied her. She was being polite to your face but possibly irritated by what she perceived as you still “hankering” after her and let this be known to your mutual friend.
I’d put it down to experience and move on. However I think it’s a bit of a stty thing for your mutual friend to show you her text. Makes me wonder why he would do that.....
Doesn't his posts on the various dating threads confirm he is the common denominator with such things?I’d put it down to experience and move on. However I think it’s a bit of a s
tty thing for your mutual friend to show you her text. Makes me wonder why he would do that..... OO Beckton said:
Sounds like you caught feels?
Understandable but you're better off without her Rich - she sounds highly damaged.
Maybe as the result of duplicitous friends who ostracised her; female colleagues who've stabbed her in the back; men who've worked their way into her heart, only to use her for her big old tits and fanny, before dumping her in favour of their real love .......
.....Let her work out that if she treats kind souls like yourself so poorly, then she is doomed to be forever avoided by the emotionally stable. Chin up old boy.
WTF??? Understandable but you're better off without her Rich - she sounds highly damaged.
Maybe as the result of duplicitous friends who ostracised her; female colleagues who've stabbed her in the back; men who've worked their way into her heart, only to use her for her big old tits and fanny, before dumping her in favour of their real love .......
.....Let her work out that if she treats kind souls like yourself so poorly, then she is doomed to be forever avoided by the emotionally stable. Chin up old boy.
Or just maybe she is just very ill, taking lots of meds and suffering depression and anxiety??
Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff