Jury's Inn hotel in Waford saved my life (or dignity!)
Discussion
On Friday I was coming back from a few days away with the missus and we stopped off at Watford so that she could do some shopping. Whilst away I'd become a bit 'clogged up' so to speak and so I'd taken a (supposedly) mild laxative the night before. No effects whatsoever, until we started shopping at Watford!
Suddenly, I was overcome with the need in the worst way possible, right in the middle of a pedestrianised high street. If anyone doesn't know the meaning of panic, I was about to give a blatant demonstration! I told the missus I HAD to go without delay and I hobbled into a Costa shop, only to find the loo occupied.
The next two minutes constituted me looking like a headless chicken trying to find an open toilet. I'm fastidiously fussy about only using clean loos when it's just for a wee, but this was no time for pleasantries. If I didn't get somewhere in the next 60 seconds I was going to fill my pants with heaven-knows what, in public, for the first time since I was a little kid. I left the missus and frantically ran around the corner so that if the worst happened and I sh*t myself, at least I'd be in a slightly less crowded area.
But there in front of me, about a hundred yards away, was a huge Jury's Inn hotel. I ran for that place as fast as my legs could move, shot into the very, very nice reception and, sweating like a dray-horse (as my old nan says!) I scurried in the direction of the signposted toilets literally holding my arse like a clamp.
I made it...just. And I mean just! I haven't destroyed a toilet like that for years. It was such a pristine loo that I almost felt guilty. And then I glanced down at my still clean pants around my ankles, and the guilt was replaced by so much relief I almost wanted to cry!!
Thank you so much Jury's Inn. Anywhere ever saved your life, dignity or underpants?
Suddenly, I was overcome with the need in the worst way possible, right in the middle of a pedestrianised high street. If anyone doesn't know the meaning of panic, I was about to give a blatant demonstration! I told the missus I HAD to go without delay and I hobbled into a Costa shop, only to find the loo occupied.
The next two minutes constituted me looking like a headless chicken trying to find an open toilet. I'm fastidiously fussy about only using clean loos when it's just for a wee, but this was no time for pleasantries. If I didn't get somewhere in the next 60 seconds I was going to fill my pants with heaven-knows what, in public, for the first time since I was a little kid. I left the missus and frantically ran around the corner so that if the worst happened and I sh*t myself, at least I'd be in a slightly less crowded area.
But there in front of me, about a hundred yards away, was a huge Jury's Inn hotel. I ran for that place as fast as my legs could move, shot into the very, very nice reception and, sweating like a dray-horse (as my old nan says!) I scurried in the direction of the signposted toilets literally holding my arse like a clamp.
I made it...just. And I mean just! I haven't destroyed a toilet like that for years. It was such a pristine loo that I almost felt guilty. And then I glanced down at my still clean pants around my ankles, and the guilt was replaced by so much relief I almost wanted to cry!!
Thank you so much Jury's Inn. Anywhere ever saved your life, dignity or underpants?
DC289 said:
I haven't destroyed a toilet like that for years. It was such a pristine loo that I almost felt guilty. And then I glanced down at my still clean pants around my ankles, and the guilt was replaced by so much relief I almost wanted to cry!!
Of course it was still pristine when you left it, right?
Blaster72 said:
Funny clip - made even funnier coming from your username 
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