What age is appropriate to give a child a mobile?
Discussion
In your case I might be tempted to get him a v basic PAYG phone for your calls only.
My daughter - I was going to wait till 11 and secondary school - but we moved just before she started Year 6 to a completely new area - so decided after much thinking - to allow her one for the last year at primary. My reasoning was I want her to be comfortable at secondary with her mobile - not excited and showing it off. The new area has far bigger schools, hence my thoughts!! And it is only a hand me down anyway, and it allows her to plug into the Apple Music Family thing we have!
IMO if you think it reasonable - get him one - trial it. If it does not work then you have not lost anything.
Will the e just not take it from him though if she is awkward?
My daughter - I was going to wait till 11 and secondary school - but we moved just before she started Year 6 to a completely new area - so decided after much thinking - to allow her one for the last year at primary. My reasoning was I want her to be comfortable at secondary with her mobile - not excited and showing it off. The new area has far bigger schools, hence my thoughts!! And it is only a hand me down anyway, and it allows her to plug into the Apple Music Family thing we have!
IMO if you think it reasonable - get him one - trial it. If it does not work then you have not lost anything.
Will the e just not take it from him though if she is awkward?
I'd be worried she would hide the charger. If he has an xbox or something with a USB port also give him a suitable USB cable to charge the phone using that as a backup.
A feature phone like this would be my choice rather than a smartphone.
Other thing to do is to make sure all the parental controls are turned on by the network operator. Not because he will access/ring stuff he shouldn't but more so you can prevent her from using that as an excuse from taking it off him.
A feature phone like this would be my choice rather than a smartphone.
Other thing to do is to make sure all the parental controls are turned on by the network operator. Not because he will access/ring stuff he shouldn't but more so you can prevent her from using that as an excuse from taking it off him.
Tonks - I am going to be slightly provocative here.
Do you have to contact him every night whilst he is with his mum. Appreciate seven is young, but are you being perhaps a bit stubborn over this.
I held off giving phones to any of mine until they went to secondary school so 12 years old. I feel seven is too young, and I think if you look at yourself objectively I wonder if you aren't also be slightly difficult here.
My ex has a set time to ring the Daughter or she will txt first to confirm it’s convenient. That’s the way it was when Daughter lived with her too. She does now have my old IPhone (she’s 10) but it’s mainly for the group chat with the girls from school or watching YouTube videos. That’s when she remembers to charge it up.
I appreciate how difficult it is because I’ve been there but FWIW I wouldn’t her phoning up whenever either when you’re in the middle of trying to give them tea/get homework done/get them in the bath/ tell them off/whatever.
I appreciate how difficult it is because I’ve been there but FWIW I wouldn’t her phoning up whenever either when you’re in the middle of trying to give them tea/get homework done/get them in the bath/ tell them off/whatever.
Gargamel said:
Tonks - I am going to be slightly provocative here.
Do you have to contact him every night whilst he is with his mum. Appreciate seven is young, but are you being perhaps a bit stubborn over this.
I held off giving phones to any of mine until they went to secondary school so 12 years old. I feel seven is too young, and I think if you look at yourself objectively I wonder if you aren't also be slightly difficult here.
I don't think he mentions every dayDo you have to contact him every night whilst he is with his mum. Appreciate seven is young, but are you being perhaps a bit stubborn over this.
I held off giving phones to any of mine until they went to secondary school so 12 years old. I feel seven is too young, and I think if you look at yourself objectively I wonder if you aren't also be slightly difficult here.
From my experience your wife is doing herself no long term good. When I separated my twins were 6, We sat down and discussed it and my daughter said Ok but Mummy must give me the phone when you ring. We ere so surprised about this we asked about, it turned out her friends mum hung up, so they notice these things.
We discussed everything with the kids, now 25, and had a great relationship, both the wife and I have new relationships, with step children, we all get on, my daughter graduated with her masters and we were the only divorced family that attended, and both our partners came. So try to look through your current issues and build for the future.
I friends with the guy whose wife hung up to this day and he has a great relationship with the daughter because she knew what was happening even at 6.
We discussed everything with the kids, now 25, and had a great relationship, both the wife and I have new relationships, with step children, we all get on, my daughter graduated with her masters and we were the only divorced family that attended, and both our partners came. So try to look through your current issues and build for the future.
I friends with the guy whose wife hung up to this day and he has a great relationship with the daughter because she knew what was happening even at 6.
I don't have kids, but I would say 7 is too young.
IMHO you need to arrange a set time to call. Either before dinner or after dinner or whatever.
Personally I see no reason a primary school age child needs a mobile phone.
Secondary different story if taking themselves too and from school etc then a basic call / text only phone from 11 is ok IMHO.
Once >14/15 then a camera phone / web access etc would be ok. Again just my opinion.
IMHO you need to arrange a set time to call. Either before dinner or after dinner or whatever.
Personally I see no reason a primary school age child needs a mobile phone.
Secondary different story if taking themselves too and from school etc then a basic call / text only phone from 11 is ok IMHO.
Once >14/15 then a camera phone / web access etc would be ok. Again just my opinion.
Held out giving my son one 'til the middle of year 6 as we gave him a little bit of responsibility to walk home from school by himself in preparation for him doing it from Year 7 at Secondary school; my daughter (year 5) desperately wants one but she's going to have to wait like my son did
Vaud said:
Will school get involved? Would they allow a window a few lunchtimes each week for you to call him if the phone was kept at school (or if you called a school number)?
Will annoy her even more, but they MIGHT (maybe possibly) be willing.
I very much doubt that they'd want to get involved. Will annoy her even more, but they MIGHT (maybe possibly) be willing.
Having seen and followed your journey to where you are now (similar situation to me but at the opposite end of the spectrum) I see no issue with him having a phone only mobile (think Nokia 3310 or Alcatel One Touch) so it is just a thing that stays in his room rather than a "toy" to be taken out and about with him.
Think it's a good idea - go for it
Think it's a good idea - go for it
Vocal Minority said:
I don't think he mentions every day
I can't see the every day reference either.Having been on the receiving end of this (calls at mealtimes not every day) - I would say the onus is very much on you and ex to agree a set time and day (or days) that you call, and that you son knows that agreement. That way it would be harder for the ex to filter out the calls - but you will have to ensure you call at the prescribed time, on the dot.
I would avoid meal times (and noet your comments that you're not calling then anyway but timings do change as children grow up) - just on reflection of seeing the impact it has had on my step-daughter. Her view is that her father can't really care if he routinely calls at a time he knows is inconvenient, just because it's when he can phone while he walks from the train station to his home (neatly avoiding doing so infront of his new wife!). Nowadays she just takes the call and we cover up her meal, but it does frustrate and upset her.
SystemParanoia said:
distance between you and your kid ?
You could go for a CB / Walkie talkie if you affix an antenna to your house
Or even some cups joined by string? You could go for a CB / Walkie talkie if you affix an antenna to your house
Sounds like a grim situation op. As said payg phone might be the answer ?
My kids had mobiles by 10, they do loads of stuff where we need to pick them up at different times from different clubs etc. Plus I FaceTime them when I’m away, has he got an iPad? All you need then is an Apple ID for FaceTime and texts?
Obviously the younger they are the more chance they’ll drop it somewhere or become addicted to them or abducted by other players on some game they’ve downloaded.
Only what works for you and your child is the right answer. Other posters can only say what they think for their own circumstances.
Edited by anonymous-user on Tuesday 13th March 14:00
It seems to be that this is just winding the ex wife up more than anything else. We all realise that you would want to talk to your son every day and sometimes she might be difficult about it. Giving a 7 years old a mobile phone is inappropriate and it will definitely cause issue with his Mum. All divorces have their challenges but don't put your son in the middle. You may already have but it is never a good thing. I hope it works out for you without too much agg but by the tone of your post, It think it may be too late for that.
Edited to note that, on re-reading the above I come across quite harsh. It was not meant like that at all. Separation/Divorce is hard enough and I am well versed with all that goes with it. I managed to have a very easy divorce (thanks to an amazing ex wife) but it was entirely due to the fact that our ONLY concern was the welfare of the children. We never argued, I was acquiescent and she was very fair. It was just all about making it as easy for them as possible. I wish you well.
Edited to note that, on re-reading the above I come across quite harsh. It was not meant like that at all. Separation/Divorce is hard enough and I am well versed with all that goes with it. I managed to have a very easy divorce (thanks to an amazing ex wife) but it was entirely due to the fact that our ONLY concern was the welfare of the children. We never argued, I was acquiescent and she was very fair. It was just all about making it as easy for them as possible. I wish you well.
Edited by Johnniem on Tuesday 13th March 14:47
Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff