Best Double Entendre
Discussion
I'll lead with a couple...
From 'Carry on Cleo'.
Hengist Pod (Kenneth Connor) is primping Caesar's (Kenneth Williams) hair with hot iron for Caesar's tryst with Cleopatra.
He says, "I know where I am with an iron!"
From Blackadder 2
Redbeard Rum (Tom Baker) to Queenie (Mranda Richardson).
"You have a woman's purse ma'am. I'll wager it's never been used as a lifeboat and had sixteen shipwrecked sailors tossing in it."
From 'Carry on Cleo'.
Hengist Pod (Kenneth Connor) is primping Caesar's (Kenneth Williams) hair with hot iron for Caesar's tryst with Cleopatra.
He says, "I know where I am with an iron!"
From Blackadder 2
Redbeard Rum (Tom Baker) to Queenie (Mranda Richardson).
"You have a woman's purse ma'am. I'll wager it's never been used as a lifeboat and had sixteen shipwrecked sailors tossing in it."
Edited by davhill on Tuesday 8th May 14:35
Trophy Husband said:
Why the ice in your pint?
I like to put things in cider.
Which reminds me of Reeves and Mortimers 'Noel's addicts' sketch:I like to put things in cider.
"So, you're addicted to putting things in cider?"
"Yes Noel. The first thing I put in cider was a breadbin"
"And what, above all else, would you like to put in cider?"
"Well Noel, i'd really like to put my organ in cider"
Max Miller (allegedly)
I was walking along this narrow mountain pass - so narrow that nobody else could pass you, when I saw a beautiful blonde walking towards me. A beautiful blonde with not a stitch on, yes, not a stitch on, lady. Cor blimey, I didn't know whether to toss myself off or block her passage.
I was walking along this narrow mountain pass - so narrow that nobody else could pass you, when I saw a beautiful blonde walking towards me. A beautiful blonde with not a stitch on, yes, not a stitch on, lady. Cor blimey, I didn't know whether to toss myself off or block her passage.
A few years back I was in a project review meeting discussing a potential overrun. Me, a likeminded colleague and my manager. Talking about potential solutions, my manager (with a straight face) comes out with:
"if things start to get too backed up we can always pull off a couple of apprentices from other projects and get them on this"
Me and my colleague were pretty much in hysterics, whilst our manager had no clue. It's still a source of amusement to us to this day
"if things start to get too backed up we can always pull off a couple of apprentices from other projects and get them on this"
Me and my colleague were pretty much in hysterics, whilst our manager had no clue. It's still a source of amusement to us to this day
Rich1973 said:
Many years ago during 6th form physics with an attractive teacher, my mate and I used to have a bit of banter with her. Anyway the conversation turned to McDonalds and the teacher was asked if she liked a quarter pounder between her lips.
Didn't go down too well to be honest.
Didn't go down too well to be honest.
There was a good one from Jimmy Young of all people on his old lunchtime show. An expert was in the studio talking about contraception and referred to a substance that works by, as she put it, 'disorientating' the sperm. Jimmy said helpfully 'you mean they don't know whether they're coming or going'. Don't know how the expert avoided bursting out laughing,
tter myself". <short pause> "So I really enjoy listening to an expert"
davhill said:
From Blackadder 2
Redbeard Rum (Tom Baker) to Queenie (Mranda Richardson).
"You have a woman's purse ma'am. I'll wager it's never been used as a lifeboat and had sixteen shipwrecked sailors tossing in it."
Actually, it was said to Blackadder himself when he offers him the money in his purse to go on a trip around the Cape of Good Hope.Redbeard Rum (Tom Baker) to Queenie (Mranda Richardson).
"You have a woman's purse ma'am. I'll wager it's never been used as a lifeboat and had sixteen shipwrecked sailors tossing in it."
tribbles said:
davhill said:
From Blackadder 2
Redbeard Rum (Tom Baker) to Queenie (Mranda Richardson).
"You have a woman's purse ma'am. I'll wager it's never been used as a lifeboat and had sixteen shipwrecked sailors tossing in it."
Actually, it was said to Blackadder himself when he offers him the money in his purse to go on a trip around the Cape of Good Hope.Redbeard Rum (Tom Baker) to Queenie (Mranda Richardson).
"You have a woman's purse ma'am. I'll wager it's never been used as a lifeboat and had sixteen shipwrecked sailors tossing in it."
""
Any of the "Samantha has to nip out ..." ones from ISIHAC on Radio 4.
eg http://www.g0akh.f2s.com/isihac/While_Samantha_Pag...
http://www.ivorysky.com/isihac/samantha-has-to-go-...
Loads more - just Google.
eg http://www.g0akh.f2s.com/isihac/While_Samantha_Pag...
http://www.ivorysky.com/isihac/samantha-has-to-go-...
Loads more - just Google.
tribbles said:
davhill said:
From Blackadder 2
Redbeard Rum (Tom Baker) to Queenie (Mranda Richardson).
"You have a woman's purse ma'am. I'll wager it's never been used as a lifeboat and had sixteen shipwrecked sailors tossing in it."
Actually, it was said to Blackadder himself when he offers him the money in his purse to go on a trip around the Cape of Good Hope.Redbeard Rum (Tom Baker) to Queenie (Mranda Richardson).
"You have a woman's purse ma'am. I'll wager it's never been used as a lifeboat and had sixteen shipwrecked sailors tossing in it."
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