Chavy member of the family
Discussion
My/our family all get along well, quiet polite people, id deem us as 'normal'. However my wife's sister is a different kettle of fish. We went out last night as it was her birthday. She did the usual, got royally drunk and got louder and louder, swearing at her kids who are 8 and 10, calling them derogatory names. You can't tell her to calm down or reign it in as she then starts on you.
One time we were out she started on her mother and was boasting about how much coke she did and if her kids asked for it she would get them high quality gear!
She has had her front door kicked in last year as she was flat out and the kids were screaming so neighbour called the police. She also doesnt work which annoys me as she seems to collect a decent amount a month off the state which allows her not to work, and by her own admission she said she is better off not working.
One time we were out she started on her mother and was boasting about how much coke she did and if her kids asked for it she would get them high quality gear!
She has had her front door kicked in last year as she was flat out and the kids were screaming so neighbour called the police. She also doesnt work which annoys me as she seems to collect a decent amount a month off the state which allows her not to work, and by her own admission she said she is better off not working.
wjwren said:
My/our family all get along well, quiet polite people, id deem us as 'normal'. However my wife's sister is a different kettle of fish. We went out last night as it was her birthday. She did the usual, got royally drunk and got louder and louder, swearing at her kids who are 8 and 10, calling them derogatory names. You can't tell her to calm down or reign it in as she then starts on you.
One time we were out she started on her mother and was boasting about how much coke she did and if her kids asked for it she would get them high quality gear!
She has had her front door kicked in last year as she was flat out and the kids were screaming so neighbour called the police. She also doesnt work which annoys me as she seems to collect a decent amount a month off the state which allows her not to work, and by her own admission she said she is better off not working.
Cool story etc.One time we were out she started on her mother and was boasting about how much coke she did and if her kids asked for it she would get them high quality gear!
She has had her front door kicked in last year as she was flat out and the kids were screaming so neighbour called the police. She also doesnt work which annoys me as she seems to collect a decent amount a month off the state which allows her not to work, and by her own admission she said she is better off not working.
wjwren said:
You can't tell her to calm down or reign it in as she then starts on you.
I suspect you're bigger and better able to look after yourself than the kids are so jump in and take one for the team.Have a quiet, calm and nasty word in her ear too. Something about how she'll lose the kids into care, or maybe that if you hear her act that way again she might get an experience she won't enjoy.
wjwren said:
Wildcat45 said:
So why socialise with her?
It's not on a choice basis. I presume your wife thinks her sister is a disgrace, and in which case you should both simply avoid her unless it is a function at someone's home where you simply have to attend.
One of my friends (who is an extremely nice chap in his 40's with a family) has a lunatic brother who sounds very similar to what you describe, and he simply doesn't bother with him unless it is absolutely necessary.
It's certainly worked for him over the years, and his life has been far more peaceful and relaxed since he decided to simply walk away from the cause of trouble.
wjwren said:
Wildcat45 said:
So why socialise with her?
It's not on a choice basis. My mum was like that. My Dad spent nearly 50 years with trips to my aunt's home. Spending holidays away with my aunt and uncle, a bloke he had nothing in common with. Strangely my Dad and uncle were united in their disinterest in family. There are members of my family I have nothing to do with. Nothing in common, so why bother?
My wife has a good relationship with her sister. They're not pals. I doubt for one moment her and her partner would want to socialise with us. Nor we them. We like them, have a perfectly nice time when we meet but there's no obligation on either side to go out and do stuff together.
I'm not having a go at you. I'm more interested as to why not socialising with this person is not an option. You married your wife, not her family. Why work hard all week to spend your spare time - and your cash - in the company of someone who sounds from your description, just horrible?
You can still be chavvy and a wonderful person.
My dad is rather more upper middle than I am and his girlfriend has a background that's lower under. She dragged herself up while everyone else stayed in the gutter.
It's rather fun observing his squirming during her family get togethers. They're all cool people but on a radically different wavelength.
As for this person, I'd scream in her face and box her ears until she stopped coming round. Plenty of my family I want nothing to do with and I've made it clear I never will.
My dad is rather more upper middle than I am and his girlfriend has a background that's lower under. She dragged herself up while everyone else stayed in the gutter.
It's rather fun observing his squirming during her family get togethers. They're all cool people but on a radically different wavelength.
As for this person, I'd scream in her face and box her ears until she stopped coming round. Plenty of my family I want nothing to do with and I've made it clear I never will.
Have a brother and a sister who I'd be quiet happy never to see again. The brother had to be told to never bother my Mum again after he tried to scam her into giving him yet more money! This was after I found out about the first lot!! A quiet but very serious word when he rang her whilst I was actually with her and he's not tried since, been over 10 years now! Must admit, the shock in his voice when he suddenly got me on the phone while he was trying to scam Mum was worth it!
My youngest sister hasn't been in touch for over 15yrs! Total waste of skin the pair of them!!
My other Sister is Great. love her to bits!!
Family, can't choose 'em!
My youngest sister hasn't been in touch for over 15yrs! Total waste of skin the pair of them!!
My other Sister is Great. love her to bits!!
Family, can't choose 'em!
I’ve an uncle who was a bit like that when he was younger, he’s mellowed with age but I just avoid him. My mum got a bit pissy about me not inviting him to my wedding and even more pissy when I told her that I thought her brother was a complete prick and an embarrassment and that his being related to me was of no significance to me. My dad agreed with me and if she’s completely honest I think Mum did too.
I’m not sure why people think they’re stuck with family, they’re not, they’ve no more right to your time or tolerance than anyone else.
I’m not sure why people think they’re stuck with family, they’re not, they’ve no more right to your time or tolerance than anyone else.
djc206 said:
I’ve an uncle who was a bit like that when he was younger, he’s mellowed with age but I just avoid him. My mum got a bit pissy about me not inviting him to my wedding and even more pissy when I told her that I thought her brother was a complete prick and an embarrassment and that his being related to me was of no significance to me. My dad agreed with me and if she’s completely honest I think Mum did too.
I’m not sure why people think they’re stuck with family, they’re not, they’ve no more right to your time or tolerance than anyone else.
Ah, good old weddings. Always cause an argument over who is/isn’t invited ?? I’m not sure why people think they’re stuck with family, they’re not, they’ve no more right to your time or tolerance than anyone else.
This is something my partner and I are having to do soon. What also infuriates me is her mother wants us to have a special wedding but isn’t willing to put her money where her mouth is. She even withdrew a small old work pension she has and we’ve suggested it could help towards the wedding but she just laughs? If it was down to me she wouldn’t be getting invited ??
I don’t see any of my aunts, uncles, cousins, great aunts, great uncles etc. as I simply don’t the time of day for them, last time I had to endure them at a family occasion I witnessed once again their self-observed faux-superiority and rude, embarrassing and frankly insulting demeanour. They’re far from chavvy, actually quite loaded city types (couple of traders who commute from Hertfordshire to Amsterdam for work daily, few SME business owners) but they assume that money/wealth has bought them the right to everyone’s attention and opinion
I was only at said family occasion as my dad was keen we all go as we hadn’t seen some people in so long. I made it perfectly clear mid-occasion that I wouldn’t be staying and spending my precious social time with these people and nor would I see them again, ever - this was about 6yrs a go now and I have zero regrets and my life is better because of this decision.
I was only at said family occasion as my dad was keen we all go as we hadn’t seen some people in so long. I made it perfectly clear mid-occasion that I wouldn’t be staying and spending my precious social time with these people and nor would I see them again, ever - this was about 6yrs a go now and I have zero regrets and my life is better because of this decision.
Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff