How much to give as a wedding gift (cash)?
Discussion
Gave the search function a go, but no recent threads detailing this properly so apologies if this has been done before and I've missed it!
We have two weddings coming up this year and are at a loss of what an "acceptable" gift would be for each scenario. Both of them would be attended by both me and my partner. We are very conscious not to look overly generous/flashy, but also not to look too tight.
Wedding 1: Good friends (known for 5+ years, see at least one of them in person at least once a month, text/chat more often), invited to the whole wedding, paying for a hotel room overnight (£125).
Wedding 2: I went to school with one of the brides, but we have not been close in recent years and I've only met her fiancée once. Probably not seen this friend in person for at least 6 months currently. Invited only to the evening/dance part of the wedding. Will need to travel and to stay overnight to attend. While tempted not to go at all, a mutual friend who is much closer to this friend has also only been invited to the evening do and has persuaded me to go.
We have two weddings coming up this year and are at a loss of what an "acceptable" gift would be for each scenario. Both of them would be attended by both me and my partner. We are very conscious not to look overly generous/flashy, but also not to look too tight.
Wedding 1: Good friends (known for 5+ years, see at least one of them in person at least once a month, text/chat more often), invited to the whole wedding, paying for a hotel room overnight (£125).
Wedding 2: I went to school with one of the brides, but we have not been close in recent years and I've only met her fiancée once. Probably not seen this friend in person for at least 6 months currently. Invited only to the evening/dance part of the wedding. Will need to travel and to stay overnight to attend. While tempted not to go at all, a mutual friend who is much closer to this friend has also only been invited to the evening do and has persuaded me to go.
Assuming they don't have a "gift list" - becoming less common - then the above poster makes a reasonable point.
Consider if they are taking a honeymoon abroad afterwards, getting the above amounts in the appropriate foreign currency for them?
For couple #2 - £25 in foreign money, enough for them to enjoy a cocktail or two on the beach, that kind of thing.
Not that I can particularly argue with where people spend their money, but a group of us who attended a good friend's wedding felt a bit put out when, having said they didn't really need a lot of stuff because they already had a house together, they took all the money they were given and bought a dog, which 7 months later was living with my friends retired parents because it "affected their lives too much"
Which they wouldn't have done if I'd been organised enough at the time to get them however many million "units" of currency you can buy for £50
Consider if they are taking a honeymoon abroad afterwards, getting the above amounts in the appropriate foreign currency for them?
For couple #2 - £25 in foreign money, enough for them to enjoy a cocktail or two on the beach, that kind of thing.
Not that I can particularly argue with where people spend their money, but a group of us who attended a good friend's wedding felt a bit put out when, having said they didn't really need a lot of stuff because they already had a house together, they took all the money they were given and bought a dog, which 7 months later was living with my friends retired parents because it "affected their lives too much"
Which they wouldn't have done if I'd been organised enough at the time to get them however many million "units" of currency you can buy for £50
Probably not more than £100 in any case, unless you are known to be rich. Gave a 100 euro note to pay for a dinner on their honeymoon once, they seemed to like that more than 2X £50 note.
Talking to a friend recently, he had spent £60000 on his daughters wedding, the marriage only lasted 7 months. He isnt particularly rich and took the money from his pension fund.
What did surprise me was that some wedding guests have asked for their gifts back, including the brides uncle who gave them a new Mini, now being driven by the groom.
Talking to a friend recently, he had spent £60000 on his daughters wedding, the marriage only lasted 7 months. He isnt particularly rich and took the money from his pension fund.
What did surprise me was that some wedding guests have asked for their gifts back, including the brides uncle who gave them a new Mini, now being driven by the groom.
This came up recently amongst our group of friends.
It was a range between £80 and £150
One couple (getting married soon) said guests should put it what they thought it cost to have you there for the day! Several pointed out it wasn't necessarily for guests to pay for the couple's wedding extravagancies!
It was a range between £80 and £150
One couple (getting married soon) said guests should put it what they thought it cost to have you there for the day! Several pointed out it wasn't necessarily for guests to pay for the couple's wedding extravagancies!
I usually go by the general consensus that if invited to the whole day you pay for your meal so something like £50-£100. As it seems you’re quite close to couple one I’d be more inclined to go towards the upper end or add a gift that they will always know is from you. Www.notonthehighstreet.com do a lot of gifts aimed at this sort of thing.
Couple 2 if you are going to have a jolly with other mates I’d just give a bottle of bubbly like others have suggested.
Couple 2 if you are going to have a jolly with other mates I’d just give a bottle of bubbly like others have suggested.
Robbo 27 said:
Talking to a friend recently, he had spent £60000 on his daughters wedding, the marriage only lasted 7 months. He isnt particularly rich and took the money from his pension fund.
What did surprise me was that some wedding guests have asked for their gifts back, including the brides uncle who gave them a new Mini, now being driven by the groom.
Pretty much everyone you've described in that story sounds mental.What did surprise me was that some wedding guests have asked for their gifts back, including the brides uncle who gave them a new Mini, now being driven by the groom.
OP - as already said, somewhere between £50 and £150 depending on your level of financial comfort for wedding 1.
Wedding 2 - for an evening do only it'd be a bottle of something bubbly and nothing more. Last time I was invited to an evening only do at the other end of the country I just declined.
If someone more than about an hour away says to me, "we'd like you to come, but not enough to invite you to the day time event", then my response will invariably be "I'd like to attend, but not enough to travel the distance just for the night time part".
I'm not sure if I'd give cash as a wedding gift. Seems rather impersonal. Only time I'd really consider gifting someone with cash is if it's a younger person who isn't earning much/any of their own yet and are mostly dependent on family for their spending money.
I know a lot of couples have a 'wedding list' of things they'd like to receive, if they have one of those, pick something off the list. Otherwise I'd choose a present that's a bit more personal - a piece of art perhaps, in the case where you know one or other of the couple well enough to know what they appreciate, or as has already been suggested, a nice bottle of quality booze, food & drink hamper etc etc.
I know a lot of couples have a 'wedding list' of things they'd like to receive, if they have one of those, pick something off the list. Otherwise I'd choose a present that's a bit more personal - a piece of art perhaps, in the case where you know one or other of the couple well enough to know what they appreciate, or as has already been suggested, a nice bottle of quality booze, food & drink hamper etc etc.
Robbo 27 said:
Probably not more than £100 in any case, unless you are known to be rich. Gave a 100 euro note to pay for a dinner on their honeymoon once, they seemed to like that more than 2X £50 note.
Talking to a friend recently, he had spent £60000 on his daughters wedding, the marriage only lasted 7 months. He isnt particularly rich and took the money from his pension fund.
No fool like an old fool.Talking to a friend recently, he had spent £60000 on his daughters wedding, the marriage only lasted 7 months. He isnt particularly rich and took the money from his pension fund.
Jim the Sunderer said:
Robbo 27 said:
Probably not more than £100 in any case, unless you are known to be rich. Gave a 100 euro note to pay for a dinner on their honeymoon once, they seemed to like that more than 2X £50 note.
Talking to a friend recently, he had spent £60000 on his daughters wedding, the marriage only lasted 7 months. He isnt particularly rich and took the money from his pension fund.
No fool like an old fool.Talking to a friend recently, he had spent £60000 on his daughters wedding, the marriage only lasted 7 months. He isnt particularly rich and took the money from his pension fund.
Everything decent quality we just tried to avoid the wedding tax wherever possible.
A friend of ours got married a year after with 200 guests (family they had never seen, a table called 'pub friends' that they haven't seen since the wedding etc. at a cost of £150 per head plus the venue (Woburn), cars, dress etc - all in it cost her parents just over 40k for which they re-mortgaged the house for.
Zippee said:
Why on earth people overstretch and get into debt for a single day is way beyond me. We had a lovely wedding with close friends and family for 8k all in.
Everything decent quality we just tried to avoid the wedding tax wherever possible.
Indeed, the same with us. Forty or so people, champagne reception and free bar day and evening. Everything decent quality we just tried to avoid the wedding tax wherever possible.
Think it all came in at £7k. Venue, drink/food, dress/suit and the cost of a Facel Vega HK 500 to be driven in.
Everybody said they had a great day. Having a small family also helps.
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