Discussion
Ive always kept my social circle quite small for my own reasons. (anti social introvert)
Some of my friends have a huge group of people they would call friends. I would class these as "people I know".
When do you class someone as a friend? As in someone you'd make plans with on your own.
Do you actually like your current friends or can they be utter
s like mine and you wonder why the fk do I still speak to you? Reason.... mates since high school and the wives are good pals too.
FYI Im not looking to make any new friends. just casual observation.
Some of my friends have a huge group of people they would call friends. I would class these as "people I know".
When do you class someone as a friend? As in someone you'd make plans with on your own.
Do you actually like your current friends or can they be utter
s like mine and you wonder why the fk do I still speak to you? Reason.... mates since high school and the wives are good pals too.FYI Im not looking to make any new friends. just casual observation.
We have Foxtrot Oscar (same to you!) and Vocal Minority (speak up man!) chatting.
In all seriousness, in my experience as a man in his 50's, friends are very much what you make of them. In order to feel valued yourself you need to value others. It is by no means a one way street. It was ever thus. But it cuts both ways. I have shed many friends in my half century, some with regret and others with relief. Either through their indifference or my indifference. My greatest regret is losing a friend through sudden death with whom I shared a great bond which I had allowed to drift. Hence I am now more attentive to those that matter/care and less so to those that make me feel like I don't matter or that they don't care.
I now have 5 or 6 real and true friends. We drink, laugh, live and hope together. Long may it last.
Choose wisely.
In all seriousness, in my experience as a man in his 50's, friends are very much what you make of them. In order to feel valued yourself you need to value others. It is by no means a one way street. It was ever thus. But it cuts both ways. I have shed many friends in my half century, some with regret and others with relief. Either through their indifference or my indifference. My greatest regret is losing a friend through sudden death with whom I shared a great bond which I had allowed to drift. Hence I am now more attentive to those that matter/care and less so to those that make me feel like I don't matter or that they don't care.
I now have 5 or 6 real and true friends. We drink, laugh, live and hope together. Long may it last.
Choose wisely.
Trophy Husband said:
We have Foxtrot Oscar (same to you!) and Vocal Minority (speak up man!) chatting.
In all seriousness, in my experience as a man in his 50's, friends are very much what you make of them. In order to feel valued yourself you need to value others. It is by no means a one way street. It was ever thus. But it cuts both ways. I have shed many friends in my half century, some with regret and others with relief. Either through their indifference or my indifference. My greatest regret is losing a friend through sudden death with whom I shared a great bond which I had allowed to drift. Hence I am now more attentive to those that matter/care and less so to those that make me feel like I don't matter or that they don't care.
I now have 5 or 6 real and true friends. We drink, laugh, live and hope together. Long may it last.
Choose wisely.
Some very wise words there. Apart from the sudden death I can echo your thoughts/actions. I sometimes question "would it be better without them?" An almost impossible question I understand.In all seriousness, in my experience as a man in his 50's, friends are very much what you make of them. In order to feel valued yourself you need to value others. It is by no means a one way street. It was ever thus. But it cuts both ways. I have shed many friends in my half century, some with regret and others with relief. Either through their indifference or my indifference. My greatest regret is losing a friend through sudden death with whom I shared a great bond which I had allowed to drift. Hence I am now more attentive to those that matter/care and less so to those that make me feel like I don't matter or that they don't care.
I now have 5 or 6 real and true friends. We drink, laugh, live and hope together. Long may it last.
Choose wisely.
Vocal Minority said:
In terms of people I know, there's plenty.
In terms of friends, by your definition - a very, very small handful.
I don't count myself as anti-social, and like people more than the average PHer - but I only feel the need to be properly close to a handful.
About the same for me at 55 years old.In terms of friends, by your definition - a very, very small handful.
I don't count myself as anti-social, and like people more than the average PHer - but I only feel the need to be properly close to a handful.
My best friend lives about 4 hours from me but I’m off to see him this weekend to help him get some furniture from Richmond (the London one) and take it back to his place in Christchurch.
We’ll have a fun day in a van and then go for a gourmet meal and tons of wine.
I don’t see him that often but it’s always great fun when we get together. It’s also as though it was only yesterday when we get together.
I’ve always been a quality over quantity person.
Friends fall into 2 categories for me
1 - less than 5 I’ve always been in touch with, know most of my secrets and problems, can always ring them and they pick up, meet up regularly - once a month over 20 years or so. Stag doo guests, best man material etc
2 - casual aquentances, people who I would invite to my wedding, maybe nip for a pint with for a catch up if I’m bored, people who I would feel comfortable ringing for a chat but not that often, more catch up friends
I don’t do Facebook and clowns I went to school with, I couldn’t give a st what photos of their breakfast they are posting or photos of baby Beckham and crap statuses what involve the use of words like luv, fag, kids, blah blah.
1 - less than 5 I’ve always been in touch with, know most of my secrets and problems, can always ring them and they pick up, meet up regularly - once a month over 20 years or so. Stag doo guests, best man material etc
2 - casual aquentances, people who I would invite to my wedding, maybe nip for a pint with for a catch up if I’m bored, people who I would feel comfortable ringing for a chat but not that often, more catch up friends
I don’t do Facebook and clowns I went to school with, I couldn’t give a s
t what photos of their breakfast they are posting or photos of baby Beckham and crap statuses what involve the use of words like luv, fag, kids, blah blah. Yellowdevil said:
Friends fall into 2 categories for me
1 - less than 5 I’ve always been in touch with, know most of my secrets and problems, can always ring them and they pick up, meet up regularly - once a month over 20 years or so. Stag doo guests, best man material
I don’t do Facebook and clowns I went to school with, I couldn’t give a st what photos of their breakfast they are posting or photos of baby Beckham and crap statuses what involve the use of words like luv, fag, kids, blah blah.
Pretty much how I am. I use Instagram to look at interesting things but cant stand all the "perfect life" bulls1 - less than 5 I’ve always been in touch with, know most of my secrets and problems, can always ring them and they pick up, meet up regularly - once a month over 20 years or so. Stag doo guests, best man material
I don’t do Facebook and clowns I went to school with, I couldn’t give a s
t what photos of their breakfast they are posting or photos of baby Beckham and crap statuses what involve the use of words like luv, fag, kids, blah blah. t that goes with peoples pages. I wonder how many people would post their selfies / dinners / kids if it never had a like button. Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff