Kids who weekly board
Discussion
Hi folks
Looking for some advice / experience if possible, please. Sorry for the first world problems thread!
Our 15 yr old lad has started weekly boarding at his school. He absolutely loves it and it’s doing him the power of good, so no issues there at all.
However, it’s the weekends that I’m a little challenged with.
We pick him up from rugby at around 3pm on a Saturday and he comes home until Monday morning.
By the time he’s home and sorted on a Saturday, it’s around 5pmish and he, understandably, wants to play Xbox with his mates in the evening.
Come Sunday, he has rugby with his local club, and when he gets home after the game, he wants to then go and hang out in his room and play Xbox / watch YouTube / finish his prep etc for the rest of the afternoon and evening.
Whilst I totally get that he needs time alone to unwind / play online / do his prep, am I being unreasonable if I ask for family time on a Sunday evening from 7pm?
Looking for some advice / experience if possible, please. Sorry for the first world problems thread!
Our 15 yr old lad has started weekly boarding at his school. He absolutely loves it and it’s doing him the power of good, so no issues there at all.
However, it’s the weekends that I’m a little challenged with.
We pick him up from rugby at around 3pm on a Saturday and he comes home until Monday morning.
By the time he’s home and sorted on a Saturday, it’s around 5pmish and he, understandably, wants to play Xbox with his mates in the evening.
Come Sunday, he has rugby with his local club, and when he gets home after the game, he wants to then go and hang out in his room and play Xbox / watch YouTube / finish his prep etc for the rest of the afternoon and evening.
Whilst I totally get that he needs time alone to unwind / play online / do his prep, am I being unreasonable if I ask for family time on a Sunday evening from 7pm?
schmalex said:
Hi folks
Looking for some advice / experience if possible, please. Sorry for the first world problems thread!
Our 15 yr old lad has started weekly boarding at his school. He absolutely loves it and it’s doing him the power of good, so no issues there at all.
However, it’s the weekends that I’m a little challenged with.
We pick him up from rugby at around 3pm on a Saturday and he comes home until Monday morning.
By the time he’s home and sorted on a Saturday, it’s around 5pmish and he, understandably, wants to play Xbox with his mates in the evening.
Come Sunday, he has rugby with his local club, and when he gets home after the game, he wants to then go and hang out in his room and play Xbox / watch YouTube / finish his prep etc for the rest of the afternoon and evening.
Whilst I totally get that he needs time alone to unwind / play online / do his prep, am I being unreasonable if I ask for family time on a Sunday evening from 7pm?
In part to avoid the very problem you describe, we've started going out for lunch each Sunday. It's 2 hours of enforced family time and electronic devices are generally not allowed. If we were slightly less lazy we could achieve similar by cooking our own family lunch.Looking for some advice / experience if possible, please. Sorry for the first world problems thread!
Our 15 yr old lad has started weekly boarding at his school. He absolutely loves it and it’s doing him the power of good, so no issues there at all.
However, it’s the weekends that I’m a little challenged with.
We pick him up from rugby at around 3pm on a Saturday and he comes home until Monday morning.
By the time he’s home and sorted on a Saturday, it’s around 5pmish and he, understandably, wants to play Xbox with his mates in the evening.
Come Sunday, he has rugby with his local club, and when he gets home after the game, he wants to then go and hang out in his room and play Xbox / watch YouTube / finish his prep etc for the rest of the afternoon and evening.
Whilst I totally get that he needs time alone to unwind / play online / do his prep, am I being unreasonable if I ask for family time on a Sunday evening from 7pm?
UpTheIron said:
Twig62 said:
I doubt that many 15 year old lads "do" family time.
This.What are you hoping to do during this "family time"?
schmalex said:
Maybe my expectations need to be re-set. I miss the little swine during the week and would just like to get an hour or two with him at the weekend
Well if he can't compromise on the rugby then you don't have many options. Negotiation is tricky.How about Sunday dinner - fast food - his choice - but eaten together?
So said:
Why is he boarding?
A few reasons:1. The school run is nearly an hour each way and in the wrong direction from either of our employers.
2. His after school activities don’t finish until 1830 so, by the time he gets home and has done his prep, it’s pretty much time to sleep
3. His school has many social and sporting activities throughout weekday evenings that he wants to attend
4. He’s an only child and there are no other kids in our village of his age. All his mates are either at school or rugby, so it allows him to cement his social circles
@ Vaud. He captains the first team at school and is the forwards captain for club, so is pretty committed to it. I’d rather he plays regularly than sits staring at a screen all the time
schmalex said:
@ Vaud. He captains the first team at school and is the forwards captain for club, so is pretty committed to it. I’d rather he plays regularly than sits staring at a screen all the time
Then I think you are in a holding pattern until Uni or whatever he does post A-levels.Personally I think it's great. I would love to have had the opportunity to board for GCSEs and A-levels (not before)
schmalex said:
So said:
Why is he boarding?
A few reasons:1. The school run is nearly an hour each way and in the wrong direction from either of our employers.
2. His after school activities don’t finish until 1830 so, by the time he gets home and has done his prep, it’s pretty much time to sleep
3. His school has many social and sporting activities throughout weekday evenings that he wants to attend
4. He’s an only child and there are no other kids in our village of his age. All his mates are either at school or rugby, so it allows him to cement his social circles
@ Vaud. He captains the first team at school and is the forwards captain for club, so is pretty committed to it. I’d rather he plays regularly than sits staring at a screen all the time
I am not trying to be an arse, but schooling is less important than an upbringing. In my opinion obv.
So said:
Speaking as someone with children in an independent school, I wonder why you went to the effort and expense of having a child if you are abdicating the responsibility of bringing him up.
I am not trying to be an arse, but schooling is less important than an upbringing. In my opinion obv.
Personally I'd agree with you for a younger child. But 15-18 as a week boarder is not abdicating a responsibility. They are young adults at that age, in many countries they could marry.I am not trying to be an arse, but schooling is less important than an upbringing. In my opinion obv.
The balance missing seems to be the weekends with rugby consuming the rest of the time, which was probably not the intent of the school.
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