Twelve Months of Accidentally Burning Money..?

[Sterillium]

If you had £1,000,000 in used notes, and had to generate the most regular and sustainable annual income you could from it, in terms of investment, how would you go about it?

You're allowed to split it up into as many little pieces as you want and any form of legal investment is allowed in any country.

[Jasandjules]

Is it legally obtained ?

[Jonesy23]

And do I have to guarantee I'll still have all the original capital at the end or is there scope for some risk?

[Sterillium]

Jasandjules said:

Is it legally obtained ?

Yes.

[Sterillium]

Jonesy23 said:

And do I have to guarantee I'll still have all the original capital at the end or is there scope for some risk?

I think there has to be some scope, so no.

[BoRED S2upid]

Personally I’d play it very safe and think about this most months as a million can be won on the premium bonds.

I’d invest half and take 3-4% very conservative. I’d then invest half in BTL as that’s what I know and take 5-10% profit from that 500k both would be sustainable long term and very easy to achieve but pretty low percentage compared to some high risk strategies I’m sure. It’s also minimal risk to the original amount.

[Countdown]

Sterillium said:

Jasandjules said:

Is it legally obtained ?

Yes.

So what’s the relevance of it being in “used notes”?

I’d stick it in a selection of tracker funds.

[Sterillium]

Countdown said:

Sterillium said:

Jasandjules said:

Is it legally obtained ?

Yes.

So what’s the relevance of it being in “used notes”?

I’d stick it in a selection of tracker funds.

I like used notes.

[JuanCarlosFandango]

Yep, assuming I'm not going to get a knock on the door from HMRC or Big Vern stick it in conservative tracker funds with a 4-5% return, live on about 30k and reinvest any surplus. Financial independence. I'd probably carry on working and topping it up for a while.

Then when I hit 60 and the kids were supporting themselves I'd start backing eccentric start ups and extremist religious movements until I'd burned the capital and made some proper enemies. Skint and hated I'd retire to Argentina and become a recluse, investing the final 100k in a gogo bar and a doomed attempt to build a supersonic steam train.

[cobra kid]

Sterillium said:

I like used notes.

Non sequentially numbered as well?

[rsbmw]

JuanCarlosFandango said:

Yep, assuming I'm not going to get a knock on the door from HMRC or Big Vern stick it in conservative tracker funds with a 4-5% return, live on about 30k and reinvest any surplus. Financial independence. I'd probably carry on working and topping it up for a while.

Then when I hit 60 and the kids were supporting themselves I'd start backing eccentric start ups and extremist religious movements until I'd burned the capital and made some proper enemies. Skint and hated I'd retire to Argentina and become a recluse, investing the final 100k in a gogo bar and a doomed attempt to build a supersonic steam train.

Supersonic steam train you say, how can I invest?

[Jasandjules]

Sterillium said:

Yes.

Well, then 500k in War Loans, 250k in say Bunds or different Gilts then 250k in some random emerging market high yield bond - see what happens in 12 mths.....

[JuanCarlosFandango]

It would be great wouldn't it? Doubt it's remotely possible and would cost way more than whatever money I had available but that's half the fun.

[Cardinal Hips]

JuanCarlosFandango said:

Yep, assuming I'm not going to get a knock on the door from HMRC or Big Vern stick it in conservative tracker funds with a 4-5% return, live on about 30k and reinvest any surplus. Financial independence. I'd probably carry on working and topping it up for a while.

Then when I hit 60 and the kids were supporting themselves I'd start backing eccentric start ups and extremist religious movements until I'd burned the capital and made some proper enemies. Skint and hated I'd retire to Argentina and become a recluse, investing the final 100k in a gogo bar and a doomed attempt to build a supersonic steam train.

Epic response.

I usually shut anyone down who starts the "what if you came in to x millions" although I used to work with one bloke who really went down in to detail about what he'd do with any large sum of money. It got to be a bit of a running joke. If a lottery was on a rollover all you had to do was mention it and he'd be away designating every last penny, he could go on for fking hours about it. I'd have to hide behind my monitors stifling the giggles. Even that got tiresome in the end though.

How about this for a moral quandary, would you punch your mother in the face as hard as you could for £1 million? If no mum around, a daughter or wife / girlfriend.

No pulling punches, the devil you're making the pact with will know if you've not gone full power and the deal is off.

Then you have £1million, what would you do with it? YAAAAAAWN

[louiebaby]

The Crack Fox said:

JuanCarlosFandango said:

I'd start backing eccentric start ups and extremist religious movements until I'd burned the capital and made some proper enemies. Skint and hated I'd retire to Argentina and become a recluse, investing the final 100k in a gogo bar and a doomed attempt to build a supersonic steam train.

Take my money.

And that's how you get a job at a start-up motoring magazine ladies and gents...

[JuanCarlosFandango]

I'd love a job at a start up motoring magazine. I could do a special on my supersonic steam train.

No, I wouldn't punch my mother in the face for any amount of money. Wife is a bit more variable.

However if this munificent devil wants to see George Monbiot, Jamie Oliver or Piers Morgan take a whack I'm available this afternoon at very reasonable rates.

[Silverbullet767]

JuanCarlosFandango said:

Then when I hit 60 and the kids were supporting themselves I'd start backing eccentric start ups and extremist religious movements until I'd burned the capital and made some proper enemies. Skint and hated I'd retire to Argentina and become a recluse, investing the final 100k in a gogo bar and a doomed attempt to build a supersonic steam train.

Do you write fan fiction stories based on the mighty boosh by any chance?

[The Dictator]

Well as I run my own wealth management business, I am ideally positioned to deal with this as I have clients with this and much more to invest.


Diversification is key, but I would keep out enough to clear the mortgage and invest the rest in various portfolios, depending upon my own personal attitude to risk.

Boring answer I know, surely coke and hookers is the PH appropriate response :-)

[The Selfish Gene]

you would clear mortgage? even though the interest rates so low?

[steveatesh]

Jonesy23 said:

And do I have to guarantee I'll still have all the original capital at the end or is there scope for some risk?

Is that you, Brewster?