Separated but Living Together
Discussion
As per title; staying put for the kids. No questions.
Is it a compromise? You don't have to endure a dead marriage, and you don't have to put anyone through a divorce, or physical separation. Instead you keep to a commitment you made, and still get to live your life?
https://www.irishtimes.com/life-and-style/people/s...
Is it a compromise? You don't have to endure a dead marriage, and you don't have to put anyone through a divorce, or physical separation. Instead you keep to a commitment you made, and still get to live your life?
https://www.irishtimes.com/life-and-style/people/s...
We separated back in 2009, 3 kids, but lived together due to finances.
I was set to move out in 2012 but she got seriously ill so I felt I couldn't.
Finally left in 2015, and started to have a love life, girlfriends etc.
Due to finances and unable to afford my rent as well as child maintenance I'm now back living in the attic of my ex marital home.
It's a fekin nightmare.
I was set to move out in 2012 but she got seriously ill so I felt I couldn't.
Finally left in 2015, and started to have a love life, girlfriends etc.
Due to finances and unable to afford my rent as well as child maintenance I'm now back living in the attic of my ex marital home.
It's a fekin nightmare.
I can't think of many worse things.
The lack of closure, the inability to move on with one's life and find new happiness.
Unless you are financially forced into it, staying together "for the kids" seems futile.
It's perfectly possible to have a healthy childhood without both your parents living full time in the same house as you.
The lack of closure, the inability to move on with one's life and find new happiness.
Unless you are financially forced into it, staying together "for the kids" seems futile.
It's perfectly possible to have a healthy childhood without both your parents living full time in the same house as you.
Everyone who I've known who's parents "stayed together for the kids" has said that the situation was awful and would have preferred that their parents split properly, no matter how hard the parents tried to make it as normal as possible, it just didn't work as there was always an ever present tension and resentment towards each other.
HTP99 said:
Everyone who I've known who's parents "stayed together for the kids" has said that the situation was awful and would have preferred that their parents split properly, no matter how hard the parents tried to make it as normal as possible, it just didn't work as there was always an ever present tension and resentment towards each other.
F**k me that’s a very timely and useful post, for me.It confirms my instincts.
My parents split up when I was ~13 and my brother was ~8.
They stayed living together for a year or so "for the kids".
We both wish they'd have just split up properly and went separate ways.
If the initial split wasn't hard enough on both of us, having it dragged out for a year was s
t.
They stayed living together for a year or so "for the kids".
We both wish they'd have just split up properly and went separate ways.
If the initial split wasn't hard enough on both of us, having it dragged out for a year was s
t. Some family friends, (one of whom was the midwife who helped deliver me), had such an arrangement, which to me seemed strange but it appears to have worked for them for 25+ years, though perhaps a fluke of where they chose to live?
Married, had kids who are about my age, but then separated. However their house was a big old London townhouse and they had bought it with a ground/basement level flat and then the upper part of the house.
So he lives downstairs, she lives upstairs, the kids grew up with their parents in the same house but they weren't quite tripping over each other in the kitchen etc as they had their own space/own front door, but the kids had a door between the two.
Married, had kids who are about my age, but then separated. However their house was a big old London townhouse and they had bought it with a ground/basement level flat and then the upper part of the house.
So he lives downstairs, she lives upstairs, the kids grew up with their parents in the same house but they weren't quite tripping over each other in the kitchen etc as they had their own space/own front door, but the kids had a door between the two.
My parents split when I was 13.
They lived in the same house until I was 16. It was horrific for everyone involved, my brother and myself often mention how they should have gone their separate ways from day 1.
The tension in the house was horrific. I am sure they thought they were doing their best, but my dad living in the dining room and mother upstairs. No one talking.
God it bring back awful memories. Just don't.
They lived in the same house until I was 16. It was horrific for everyone involved, my brother and myself often mention how they should have gone their separate ways from day 1.
The tension in the house was horrific. I am sure they thought they were doing their best, but my dad living in the dining room and mother upstairs. No one talking.
God it bring back awful memories. Just don't.
I lived with my ex for a month when we separated. She trumped up with false allegations of domestic abuse to get me out. There are some rational women out there who wouldn't contemplate playing nasty and I hope your wife is one of the "nice" type.
However I think for the sake of the kids, it can't be pleasant living and growing up with loveless parents in the same environment.
However I think for the sake of the kids, it can't be pleasant living and growing up with loveless parents in the same environment.
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