Separated parents - Time with the kids over Christmas
Discussion
Just wondering for non-resident fathers, what arrangements you have for Xmas to see the kids?
Last year the Ex had my daughter Christmas eve night until Christmas lunchtime then I had her the rest of the day. Which I thought was fair.
This year I had been expecting the reverse from last year where I have her Christmas eve night then take her back to the Ex for Christmas afternoon.
Now I've been told that I won't see her all day and can see her Boxing day
Last year the Ex had my daughter Christmas eve night until Christmas lunchtime then I had her the rest of the day. Which I thought was fair.
This year I had been expecting the reverse from last year where I have her Christmas eve night then take her back to the Ex for Christmas afternoon.
Now I've been told that I won't see her all day and can see her Boxing day
My colleague is going through this for the first time this year; firstly she was taking them away for 5 days, without running it by him, so he put the kybosh on that; she kicked off.
Then she said he could come over for Christmas lunch (the kids were putting pressure on her), but lunch only and he has to go back home after lunch, he has reluctantly agreed and said he would have them for the day on Boxing day, she then whinged that she would be by herself and it wasn't fair, neglecting to acknowledge that my colleague wouldn't be waking with his kids on Christmas day and when he has eaten his lunch with them he will be going back to an empty house himself.
Women, don't you love em!!
Then she said he could come over for Christmas lunch (the kids were putting pressure on her), but lunch only and he has to go back home after lunch, he has reluctantly agreed and said he would have them for the day on Boxing day, she then whinged that she would be by herself and it wasn't fair, neglecting to acknowledge that my colleague wouldn't be waking with his kids on Christmas day and when he has eaten his lunch with them he will be going back to an empty house himself.
Women, don't you love em!!
MYOB said:
The Family courts would normally expect the arrangements to be reversed in situations like this. I assume you don't have a child arrangements order in place for contact arrangements?
Meditation might be a good idea and get a consent order approved.
Is the meditation to help to calm down?Meditation might be a good idea and get a consent order approved.
Nothing to add other than they're all snakes with tits when it comes to this stuff. My oldest friend spends a great portion of his life being forked over by his ex. He's been taken to the cleaners so many times he's shrunk to half size.
We do the same every year although he's 17 now so he's free to do what he likes! She has always had him Xmas Eve and drives him to mine about 3pm on Xmas Day where I have him until the evening on Boxing Day. It's the only time she ever drives him to mine as the rest of the time, I pick him up and drop him off every week. It's actually saving me a fortune now as his mates drive and he tends to just get lifts over when he's finished doing whatever 17 year olds do.
My ex always seems to mandate the she has the children on Christmas Day. Last year we had a joint Christmas Dinner at my house but as I’ve since re-married and she’s gone off the chart mental all over again, that’s no longer a viable option.
Best thing I did was marry a girl from the Orthodox world as they have Christmas on January 7th, so we can legitimately have two Christmases. Get yourself a Russian or Balkan bride, lads.
I also tend to have the kids on NYE and let them stay up late having a bit of a party, which they love. Mum’s a bit too strict/boring for that apparently.
Best thing I did was marry a girl from the Orthodox world as they have Christmas on January 7th, so we can legitimately have two Christmases. Get yourself a Russian or Balkan bride, lads.
I also tend to have the kids on NYE and let them stay up late having a bit of a party, which they love. Mum’s a bit too strict/boring for that apparently.
Edited by theboss on Wednesday 21st November 17:48
We do the same thing every year. My Daughter stays with her Mum (and Nan & Grandad) on Christmas Eve until about midday on Christmas Day when I pick her up. She then stays with me until early afternoon on Boxing Day when I drop her off to her Great Aunts house where the whole family will be having the annual Boxing Day gathering. We’ve been doing that for four years and it works perfectly for all of us.
The coming Xmas is the second since we split. We agreed to alternate last year, although other agreements seem to have broken down a bit. Last year I did a pseudo-Xmas on the 24th, then took them to hers for the 25th/26th. She had them on NYE since her birthday is near then and she had a big party. This year they're with me on the 25th/26th and probably onto NYE (they may end up with mates instead if they want). They're 17 and 20, so it's their choice but they do appreciate being told what's happening so they're not forced to choose.
My parents split up when I was 5.
Every year, I spent Christmas Eve with my mother and brother. Boxing Day is also my paternal grandmother's birthday, so we had a second Christmas Day then.
It's more or less worked like that for 25 years so it won't be changing.
I am a massive bah humbug though.
Every year, I spent Christmas Eve with my mother and brother. Boxing Day is also my paternal grandmother's birthday, so we had a second Christmas Day then.
It's more or less worked like that for 25 years so it won't be changing.
I am a massive bah humbug though.
We swap - one has the run up to Christmas and Christmas Day, the other has from Boxing Day onwards (we split holidays generally 50/50). Following year the days reverse.
Works well and in my view works best for the children who don't have upheaval on Christmas Day - they get two Christmases instead. Been doing this since mine were 2 & 6 and they've never had an issue with it.
Works well and in my view works best for the children who don't have upheaval on Christmas Day - they get two Christmases instead. Been doing this since mine were 2 & 6 and they've never had an issue with it.
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