The advice of 4.38 am
Discussion
I am certain that I have just executed the longest fart ever. 
Luckily I had had the good sense to get out of my bed and trot along to the bathroom and take my place on the throne prior to this World Record-beating effort, so all is well. Mostly.
I do have a small concern over the condition of my balloon neck, because there was a sudden abrupt change of tone towards the end of the long winded ripper that sounded like heavy duty denim cloth being torn asunder.
I'll have a look come daylight.
Luckily I had had the good sense to get out of my bed and trot along to the bathroom and take my place on the throne prior to this World Record-beating effort, so all is well. Mostly.
I do have a small concern over the condition of my balloon neck, because there was a sudden abrupt change of tone towards the end of the long winded ripper that sounded like heavy duty denim cloth being torn asunder.
I'll have a look come daylight.
glenrobbo said:
I am certain that I have just executed the longest fart ever.
Luckily I had had the good sense to get out of my bed and trot along to the bathroom and take my place on the throne prior to this World Record-beating effort, so all is well. Mostly.
I do have a small concern over the condition of my balloon neck, because there was a sudden abrupt change of tone towards the end of the long winded ripper that sounded like heavy duty denim cloth being torn asunder.
I'll have a look come daylight.
Keep us posted!Luckily I had had the good sense to get out of my bed and trot along to the bathroom and take my place on the throne prior to this World Record-beating effort, so all is well. Mostly.
I do have a small concern over the condition of my balloon neck, because there was a sudden abrupt change of tone towards the end of the long winded ripper that sounded like heavy duty denim cloth being torn asunder.
I'll have a look come daylight.
d thing about 0438am is that its too early to go for a run/cycle/gym and if you go back to sleep you will wake up like a zombie with a thumping headache. sc0tt said:
My sis has kids, Whilst they are great all she ever does is moan about them.
I’m quite a tidy person, I like my sleep and am very selfish. I just don’t see how they could fit into my life.
You should definitely have kids. I’m quite a tidy person, I like my sleep and am very selfish. I just don’t see how they could fit into my life.
They will cure you of all of those undesirable traits.
I was woken up by the police at 05:50 the other morning as my eldest had her drink spiked and they bought her (safely!) home 
4.38 isn't too bad. Assuming you can put the kid into a milk coma and get it back to sleep by 5 you can still manage to get a bit more sleep.
My 7 month old was up at 2.30 but that was fine. Make him a bottle, watch 20 mins of The Chase on Challenge while he drinks it, burp him and he was back in his cot by about 3.
The killer is when he wakes up at 5. My alarm goes up at 6 so generally no chance of getting back to sleep then.
My 7 month old was up at 2.30 but that was fine. Make him a bottle, watch 20 mins of The Chase on Challenge while he drinks it, burp him and he was back in his cot by about 3.
The killer is when he wakes up at 5. My alarm goes up at 6 so generally no chance of getting back to sleep then.
Brilad said:
Keep us posted!
Careful examination using a torch and mirror has revealed a small amount of collateraldamage which is mostly confined to soft tissue areas ( Quilted triple ply with aloe vera, of course ).
So no stitches required, just a week or so of using Tena Gent liners should be sufficient to allay any fears of embarrassing understains.
Ah, but it was worth it!
You should have been there to witness my triumph.
it actually sounded more like Mike Hailwood's racing Honda Six than a Bonneville! glenrobbo said:
Brilad said:
Keep us posted!
Careful examination using a torch and mirror has revealed a small amount of collateraldamage which is mostly confined to soft tissue areas ( Quilted triple ply with aloe vera, of course ).
So no stitches required, just a week or so of using Tena Gent liners should be sufficient to allay any fears of embarrassing understains.
Ah, but it was worth it!
You should have been there to witness my triumph.
it actually sounded more like Mike Hailwood's racing Honda Six than a Bonneville! I've always wondered how many men actually really want kids, if they had no pressure from the other half, society or friends and family I bet a lot wouldn't bother.
I've always been a bit suspicious or wary of men who actively really do want them like women do and found women who can't have kids and therefore puts more energy intobetter other things a very attractive proposition.
Life is relaxed bliss here, but I won't gloat (much) and bore you with the details
I've always been a bit suspicious or wary of men who actively really do want them like women do and found women who can't have kids and therefore puts more energy into
Life is relaxed bliss here, but I won't gloat (much) and bore you with the details
excellent thread. Delivered when i had no expectation 
to the 'extended fart' poster, very graphic and a literal delight - maybe you should keep a diary for a year and then publish it - Anyone got some amusing title suggestions? - The ring of fire? What's your ringtone? Last night by A. Sphincter or Willy Makeitt, illustrated by Betty Wont ?
The strain game?
anyway.. i digress - i'm 44, been with my other half 13 years, we don't have any kids, from this or previous relationships, we have no plans for them.
Enjoying disposable income, sleep, and quietness. Unconditional love will come in the form of two rottweilers/boxers/newfoundland dogs which we will name Bill & Ted. Soon.
to the 'extended fart' poster, very graphic and a literal delight - maybe you should keep a diary for a year and then publish it - Anyone got some amusing title suggestions? - The ring of fire? What's your ringtone? Last night by A. Sphincter or Willy Makeitt, illustrated by Betty Wont ?
The strain game?
anyway.. i digress - i'm 44, been with my other half 13 years, we don't have any kids, from this or previous relationships, we have no plans for them.
Enjoying disposable income, sleep, and quietness. Unconditional love will come in the form of two rottweilers/boxers/newfoundland dogs which we will name Bill & Ted. Soon.
Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff