Anyone else can't be bothered with tomorrow?
Discussion
Yeah, I know. Bah humbug and all that. However, it wouldn't be so bad if it was just me and my family. No. We've got the following coming tomorrow and I really can't be bothered with it all:
1. The world's worst behaved 3 year old. Smashes everything, runs amok, parents won't tell him off. Nearly knocked my teeth out the last time he came. Makes a god awful screaching noise if you stop him from doing something.
2. A Russian spy. I'm sure she is a spy.
3. Mr Angry who wants to cave your head in if you disagree with him.
4. Mr political and his Daily Mail roadshow. Literally walks around with a rolled up copy of the Daily Mail under his arm. Conversation will be based on Brexit, the PM's poor performance, Mosques pooping up everywhere and Muslims taking over the world. Etc.
5. An old woman who moans about everything. Makes silly little noises like 'ooh', when you walk around with a drink. Tries to tell you how to discipline your children. Constantly goes on about how poorly she is.
6. A gypsy who looks like she rolled out of an Egyptian burial chamber.
Seriously. I want to walk out the house tonight not return until the new year.
Anyone else just cannot be arsed with it all?
1. The world's worst behaved 3 year old. Smashes everything, runs amok, parents won't tell him off. Nearly knocked my teeth out the last time he came. Makes a god awful screaching noise if you stop him from doing something.
2. A Russian spy. I'm sure she is a spy.
3. Mr Angry who wants to cave your head in if you disagree with him.
4. Mr political and his Daily Mail roadshow. Literally walks around with a rolled up copy of the Daily Mail under his arm. Conversation will be based on Brexit, the PM's poor performance, Mosques pooping up everywhere and Muslims taking over the world. Etc.
5. An old woman who moans about everything. Makes silly little noises like 'ooh', when you walk around with a drink. Tries to tell you how to discipline your children. Constantly goes on about how poorly she is.
6. A gypsy who looks like she rolled out of an Egyptian burial chamber.
Seriously. I want to walk out the house tonight not return until the new year.
Anyone else just cannot be arsed with it all?
funkyrobot said:
Yeah, I know. Bah humbug and all that. However, it wouldn't be so bad if it was just me and my family. No. We've got the following coming tomorrow and I really can't be bothered with it all:
1. The world's worst behaved 3 year old. Smashes everything, runs amok, parents won't tell him off. Nearly knocked my teeth out the last time he came. Makes a god awful screaching noise if you stop him from doing something.
2. A Russian spy. I'm sure she is a spy.
3. Mr Angry who wants to cave your head in if you disagree with him.
4. Mr political and his Daily Mail roadshow. Literally walks around with a rolled up copy of the Daily Mail under his arm. Conversation will be based on Brexit, the PM's poor performance, Mosques pooping up everywhere and Muslims taking over the world. Etc.
5. An old woman who moans about everything. Makes silly little noises like 'ooh', when you walk around with a drink. Tries to tell you how to discipline your children. Constantly goes on about how poorly she is.
6. A gypsy who looks like she rolled out of an Egyptian burial chamber.
Seriously. I want to walk out the house tonight not return until the new year.
Anyone else just cannot be arsed with it all?
Interesting. Assuming you have a standard 6 person table I would suggest put 4 on one end, 3 opposite and 6 next to 4. That should guarantee some fireworks and less people next year. 1. The world's worst behaved 3 year old. Smashes everything, runs amok, parents won't tell him off. Nearly knocked my teeth out the last time he came. Makes a god awful screaching noise if you stop him from doing something.
2. A Russian spy. I'm sure she is a spy.
3. Mr Angry who wants to cave your head in if you disagree with him.
4. Mr political and his Daily Mail roadshow. Literally walks around with a rolled up copy of the Daily Mail under his arm. Conversation will be based on Brexit, the PM's poor performance, Mosques pooping up everywhere and Muslims taking over the world. Etc.
5. An old woman who moans about everything. Makes silly little noises like 'ooh', when you walk around with a drink. Tries to tell you how to discipline your children. Constantly goes on about how poorly she is.
6. A gypsy who looks like she rolled out of an Egyptian burial chamber.
Seriously. I want to walk out the house tonight not return until the new year.
Anyone else just cannot be arsed with it all?
Then 5 on the other end opposite 1 so she can demonstrate her parenting skills.
Finally 2 opposite 6 as it sounds like 2 would be unlikely to get involved.
Now you hide in the kitchen cooking food and drinking some decent plonk
Jim on the hill said:
Interesting. Assuming you have a standard 6 person table I would suggest put 4 on one end, 3 opposite and 6 next to 4. That should guarantee some fireworks and less people next year.
Then 5 on the other end opposite 1 so she can demonstrate her parenting skills.
Finally 2 opposite 6 as it sounds like 2 would be unlikely to get involved.
Now you hide in the kitchen cooking food and drinking some decent plonk
Then 5 on the other end opposite 1 so she can demonstrate her parenting skills.
Finally 2 opposite 6 as it sounds like 2 would be unlikely to get involved.
Now you hide in the kitchen cooking food and drinking some decent plonk
Won't work like that. With the exception of 6. all of them are in the same family. The Russian spy married into the family.
We have had a last minute change up to our plans ... I love Christmas with the wife and daughter
MiL has been pissing about for weeks with the on/off I’m coming not coming for Christmas lunch debacle which has been annoying me beyond clarity ... now she has pulled out and is sulking and that’s now leaves just a quick haunt to my parents in the morning tomorrow to see them and do some presents (plus a couple of their elderly lonely neighbours) then home for peace with just the 3 of us. Thanks f
k!
A situation like the OPs makes me want to start spending Christmas on holiday again! (Sorry OP)
MiL has been pissing about for weeks with the on/off I’m coming not coming for Christmas lunch debacle which has been annoying me beyond clarity ... now she has pulled out and is sulking and that’s now leaves just a quick haunt to my parents in the morning tomorrow to see them and do some presents (plus a couple of their elderly lonely neighbours) then home for peace with just the 3 of us. Thanks f
k!A situation like the OPs makes me want to start spending Christmas on holiday again! (Sorry OP)
This was the first Christmas I was looking forward to in about 11 years as we are finally at our house for the whole day.
That was until my 10 month old got chicken pox, my dad got rushed to hospital on Saturday morning and is still there now and last night my son decided it would make me really happy to projectile vomit all over me, his bed and his bathroom. (I went to sleep in his bed as he said his tummy hurt and my wife had the baby in our room).
This Christmas can well and truly get fked. Bought £199 worth of food which will just be 2.5 of us now. fking fantastic.
That was until my 10 month old got chicken pox, my dad got rushed to hospital on Saturday morning and is still there now and last night my son decided it would make me really happy to projectile vomit all over me, his bed and his bathroom. (I went to sleep in his bed as he said his tummy hurt and my wife had the baby in our room).
This Christmas can well and truly get f
ked. Bought £199 worth of food which will just be 2.5 of us now. fking fantastic. 
I'll get out of bed around 9am, have a bacon sandwich and a cup of tea, have a shower, chuck a beef joint in the oven, go out on the bike for an hour, come home and eat beef, slob around doing very little except eating cheese, crackers and an inordinate amount of pickles, eat more beef, might have a beer, go to bed, wake up, go to work.
My Christmas day is excellent.
My Christmas day is excellent.
funkyrobot said:
Yeah, I know. Bah humbug and all that. However, it wouldn't be so bad if it was just me and my family. No. We've got the following coming tomorrow and I really can't be bothered with it all:
1. The world's worst behaved 3 year old. Smashes everything, runs amok, parents won't tell him off. Nearly knocked my teeth out the last time he came. Makes a god awful screaching noise if you stop him from doing something.
2. A Russian spy. I'm sure she is a spy.
3. Mr Angry who wants to cave your head in if you disagree with him.
4. Mr political and his Daily Mail roadshow. Literally walks around with a rolled up copy of the Daily Mail under his arm. Conversation will be based on Brexit, the PM's poor performance, Mosques pooping up everywhere and Muslims taking over the world. Etc.
5. An old woman who moans about everything. Makes silly little noises like 'ooh', when you walk around with a drink. Tries to tell you how to discipline your children. Constantly goes on about how poorly she is.
6. A gypsy who looks like she rolled out of an Egyptian burial chamber.
Seriously. I want to walk out the house tonight not return until the new year.
Anyone else just cannot be arsed with it all?
Sounds like potential fun tomorrow.1. The world's worst behaved 3 year old. Smashes everything, runs amok, parents won't tell him off. Nearly knocked my teeth out the last time he came. Makes a god awful screaching noise if you stop him from doing something.
2. A Russian spy. I'm sure she is a spy.
3. Mr Angry who wants to cave your head in if you disagree with him.
4. Mr political and his Daily Mail roadshow. Literally walks around with a rolled up copy of the Daily Mail under his arm. Conversation will be based on Brexit, the PM's poor performance, Mosques pooping up everywhere and Muslims taking over the world. Etc.
5. An old woman who moans about everything. Makes silly little noises like 'ooh', when you walk around with a drink. Tries to tell you how to discipline your children. Constantly goes on about how poorly she is.
6. A gypsy who looks like she rolled out of an Egyptian burial chamber.
Seriously. I want to walk out the house tonight not return until the new year.
Anyone else just cannot be arsed with it all?
Get a bowl, your car keys and a bottle of scotch and let the good times roll.
Scabutz said:
OP - your description of your quest does make it sound pretty awful. Can't help other than th suggest get rip-roaringly drunk. Needle the DM reader for sport to set him off. Then ask the Ruskie if his mates have been to Salisbury or Gatwick recently.
The Russian is a woman. A large woman.
Rawwr said:
I'll get out of bed around 9am, have a bacon sandwich and a cup of tea, have a shower, chuck a beef joint in the oven, go out on the bike for an hour, come home and eat beef, slob around doing very little except eating cheese, crackers and an inordinate amount of pickles, eat more beef, might have a beer, go to bed, wake up, go to work.
My Christmas day is excellent.
Sounds great. My Christmas day is excellent.
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