Power Of Attorney - experiences?
Discussion
Really not sure if the lounge is the best place but couldn’t think of another place...
Parents are at the age of where plans need to be made and during all this have made myself and my sister power of attorney (there’s only us two siblings).
We get along fine (although can and have had some gigantic fall outs!) but I’ve called a family meeting so we can sit down and discuss with mum and dad exactly what it is they want to happen in any situation where POA would be required.
Apart from that, what other considerations do we need to take?
Parents are both spot on in health and if I’m honest it feels a bit disingenuous thinking about what ifs and as they’re so good, you feel like they’ll go on forever.
I guess I’m just looking for advice as to any pitfalls we might want to avoid.
Parents are at the age of where plans need to be made and during all this have made myself and my sister power of attorney (there’s only us two siblings).
We get along fine (although can and have had some gigantic fall outs!) but I’ve called a family meeting so we can sit down and discuss with mum and dad exactly what it is they want to happen in any situation where POA would be required.
Apart from that, what other considerations do we need to take?
Parents are both spot on in health and if I’m honest it feels a bit disingenuous thinking about what ifs and as they’re so good, you feel like they’ll go on forever.
I guess I’m just looking for advice as to any pitfalls we might want to avoid.
Both my in-laws have/ had it for the respective parents. Be thankful for it as when wife’s grandpa died it made things so much easier for FiL.
In their case they are both the only PoA though so a bit different. MiL has two siblings and her mum is currently in end of life care. When she goes there will be massive rifts in the family and I think having PoA will come into its own.
For your family meeting, focus on the practical stuff. Bank accounts, insurance policies, shares, that sort of thing. Make sure you know where everything is. Then as you say, what do they want to do with what.
In their case they are both the only PoA though so a bit different. MiL has two siblings and her mum is currently in end of life care. When she goes there will be massive rifts in the family and I think having PoA will come into its own.
For your family meeting, focus on the practical stuff. Bank accounts, insurance policies, shares, that sort of thing. Make sure you know where everything is. Then as you say, what do they want to do with what.
Firstly you are quite right to do it now while your folks are still well, and it's great that they want to help tou by agreeing to the LPA. My Mum resisted until it was almost too late - we only just got it done in time and thank goodnesss we did, it has made a difficult time quite a bit easier.
As per previous post the main thing is at this stage to know where all accounts, savings, investments etc are. I am still finding old accounts of my Mum's 2 yrs after I first started looking, and her finances are pretty straightforward. Could be a nightmare with.more complex set up.
As to whether you will fall out, only you can answer that. It does get a bit tense between my sis and I sometimes, but we both try to remember that it's for Mum. She brought us up and now it's our turn to help her.
Good luck with it. It's absolutely the right thing to do.
As per previous post the main thing is at this stage to know where all accounts, savings, investments etc are. I am still finding old accounts of my Mum's 2 yrs after I first started looking, and her finances are pretty straightforward. Could be a nightmare with.more complex set up.
As to whether you will fall out, only you can answer that. It does get a bit tense between my sis and I sometimes, but we both try to remember that it's for Mum. She brought us up and now it's our turn to help her.
Good luck with it. It's absolutely the right thing to do.
Worth doing sooner rather than later for both the Finances PoA and Health PoA. We are part way through doing my step-fathers with my sister.
We did our mums and like others have said Mum tried to put it off for long as possible.
We managed to get both PoA done for mum just before mums health went downhill quickly in the space of a year due to dementia. If we hadn't, dealing with mums finances for care home fees, and health when she was totally lost any touch of reality would have been a total ballache.
We did our mums and like others have said Mum tried to put it off for long as possible.
We managed to get both PoA done for mum just before mums health went downhill quickly in the space of a year due to dementia. If we hadn't, dealing with mums finances for care home fees, and health when she was totally lost any touch of reality would have been a total ballache.
Absolutely ask for as much detail from your parents while you can, money, care, DNR, everything.
Do it so all the family that will have a say know what is wanted and if necessary get it written down so it's clear. This part is no fun but what can come next is worse and much harder if you don't do the preparation.
Regarding POA and siblings, you can act "jointly" or "jointly and severally"; make sure you pick the right one for your circumstances.
Do it so all the family that will have a say know what is wanted and if necessary get it written down so it's clear. This part is no fun but what can come next is worse and much harder if you don't do the preparation.
Regarding POA and siblings, you can act "jointly" or "jointly and severally"; make sure you pick the right one for your circumstances.
Just completed my POA for both wealth & health, also details of Will attached letter of my wishes, together with Trusts. Completed list of all bank accounts, investments, Pension/SIPPS, mortgage loans, land registry property details (ensure property/ies are "tenants in common") etc., together with account details, online usernames, passwords etc., the same for all email accounts.
As others have said, get it all sorted ASAP. I just went through it all in the last year or so for my mum who’s on an ever declining road of dementia. Got there just in time. It’s only my brother and I and we both live overseas and no other family. Mum had initiated years ago under the old laws. We got the welfare done for both of us but it seems that only comes in when the person has really not got any capacity.
We are just wrapping up the finance one and that was a ball ache. My brother signed it a few days too late after law changes, so I’m the only financial PoA.
Once all the paperwork has been signed it has to be registered with a gov dept (can’t remember which off hand) and that can take time. We used a solicitor for both and it’s come in around £600-700 all in.
If you parents can tell you where and what all the documents/accounts are it will be a big help. I haven’t had that luxury and it’s been a pain.
Best of luck.
We are just wrapping up the finance one and that was a ball ache. My brother signed it a few days too late after law changes, so I’m the only financial PoA.
Once all the paperwork has been signed it has to be registered with a gov dept (can’t remember which off hand) and that can take time. We used a solicitor for both and it’s come in around £600-700 all in.
If you parents can tell you where and what all the documents/accounts are it will be a big help. I haven’t had that luxury and it’s been a pain.
Best of luck.
Thanks for all the hints and tips so far, it's all really appreciated.
Financials-wise I'm hoping all that is taken care of as they have in the last six months, tried to get everything organised.
Email log ins and passwords are a good idea too-stupidly hadn't thought of that after going through the same issues with a good friend passing away.
Financials-wise I'm hoping all that is taken care of as they have in the last six months, tried to get everything organised.
Email log ins and passwords are a good idea too-stupidly hadn't thought of that after going through the same issues with a good friend passing away.
I'm a firm supporter of LPAs but, as everyone says, make sure it's all finalised well before there's any likelihood of anything being needed - of course, there's no reason at all why they can't be taken out much earlier in life but most people leave it until it's nearly too late. Far too many do nothing about an LPA - and then have a stroke (or similar) which can cause massive problems for the family. It's particularly important for those with no surviving relatives.
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I took one out for my mam a few years back, health and finance. I have 4 sisters and thought it would be a good idea to ask if they too wanted to be PoA, and they all did.
It was set up so decisions could be made by one person as my sisters live at the other end of the country.
Sure enough it came in very useful when my mam had to go into a nursing care home , as we could look after everything, especially the finance side.she had dementia and some physical issues.
However it got a bit sticky when it came to the decision to sell her flat as it was standing empty, to save money on bills and also as it was going to have to be sold one day depending upon how long she survived (she was self financing for the care home but there was more going out than coming in so the possibility of turning to the state was always there).
Anyway, 2 of my sisters didn’t want to sell the flat as they were using it to stay in free when they visited her, and to say it caused a family upset and breach would be an understatement. Them wanting a free ride had followed hot on the heels of them wanting mams accounts to pay for their petrol to come and see her, and their meals etc. Which the rest of us disagreed with.
The whole thing ended up in an examination by social workers to see whether Mam was competent to make decisions. They decided she was not fully able to make financial decision making but still had to be consulted on the flat sale. She wanted it sold, so it was eventually put on the market and sold but incurred £3000 more than it should have with the delay.
I kept a record of every single purchase from mams accounts, down to the penny, with all receipts as well.
So, don’t think that because you and your sister get on it will always be that way, remember your parents can and should be involved in decision making when you use the PoA and keep records, it will keep you out of trouble if there is a disagreement!
It was set up so decisions could be made by one person as my sisters live at the other end of the country.
Sure enough it came in very useful when my mam had to go into a nursing care home , as we could look after everything, especially the finance side.she had dementia and some physical issues.
However it got a bit sticky when it came to the decision to sell her flat as it was standing empty, to save money on bills and also as it was going to have to be sold one day depending upon how long she survived (she was self financing for the care home but there was more going out than coming in so the possibility of turning to the state was always there).
Anyway, 2 of my sisters didn’t want to sell the flat as they were using it to stay in free when they visited her, and to say it caused a family upset and breach would be an understatement. Them wanting a free ride had followed hot on the heels of them wanting mams accounts to pay for their petrol to come and see her, and their meals etc. Which the rest of us disagreed with.
The whole thing ended up in an examination by social workers to see whether Mam was competent to make decisions. They decided she was not fully able to make financial decision making but still had to be consulted on the flat sale. She wanted it sold, so it was eventually put on the market and sold but incurred £3000 more than it should have with the delay.
I kept a record of every single purchase from mams accounts, down to the penny, with all receipts as well.
So, don’t think that because you and your sister get on it will always be that way, remember your parents can and should be involved in decision making when you use the PoA and keep records, it will keep you out of trouble if there is a disagreement!
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