Over 40, happily decided no kids, still happy?
Discussion
Hi All
Unfortunately being in a happy relationship and not having kids seems to be a social faux paux and never to be discussed in polite company...so I am hoping the anonymity of the internet might help.
So, have you made that decision not to have kids?
Happy relationship, decided not to have kids?
How did that decision play out over a few years time?
If you are thinking that there's a need to tell me how adorable your kids are, how I should "just have them", how it's the best thing ever etc...there is no need. I've heard that many times before...and there's always Mumsnet
Hoping to get some honest opinions.
Cheers
T
Edit
22 pages and still no-one in the same position as me.
When I met my other half, we presumed that we would have kids
When we got married, we said we'd leave it for 8 years before trying for kids.
8 years later we're having such a good time that we are now wondering if we want to change what is a lovely life by having kids.
Many on here without kids seem to have never wanted any.
***Anyone out there who thought they wanted kids, but then decided against it for POSITIVE reasons? ***
Unfortunately being in a happy relationship and not having kids seems to be a social faux paux and never to be discussed in polite company...so I am hoping the anonymity of the internet might help.
So, have you made that decision not to have kids?
Happy relationship, decided not to have kids?
How did that decision play out over a few years time?
If you are thinking that there's a need to tell me how adorable your kids are, how I should "just have them", how it's the best thing ever etc...there is no need. I've heard that many times before...and there's always Mumsnet
Hoping to get some honest opinions.
Cheers
T
Edit
22 pages and still no-one in the same position as me.
When I met my other half, we presumed that we would have kids
When we got married, we said we'd leave it for 8 years before trying for kids.
8 years later we're having such a good time that we are now wondering if we want to change what is a lovely life by having kids.
Many on here without kids seem to have never wanted any.
***Anyone out there who thought they wanted kids, but then decided against it for POSITIVE reasons? ***
Edited by TCruise on Friday 10th May 15:44
We have been together almost 25 years and no kids. Best decision we have ever made.
The one issue is that you can ose touch with friends as they have kids, all they want to do is talk about them. But as we get older and their kids are leaving home we are reconnecting with some old friends.
The one issue is that you can ose touch with friends as they have kids, all they want to do is talk about them. But as we get older and their kids are leaving home we are reconnecting with some old friends.
I'm soon-to-be-51 and she's 51, no kids ... perfectly happy without them. Only thing I worry about a bit is, once one of us pops our clogs in old age, who's going to look after the other one when they start to lose their marbles. That worries me a bit to be honest. But apart from that, VERY happy to have lots of money and no restrictions thank you :-)
I am 51 my wife is 46 and we have no kids, 29 years ago on our first date we both asked the question "Do you want kids" We both said no and 29 years later and it is our 25th Wedding Anniversary this year.
It was a mutual decision.
Happy yes, we get to wander the world or even a normal weekend we go somewhere on tour, by bus or walking as we work hard in the week play hard on the weekend.
It was a mutual decision.
Happy yes, we get to wander the world or even a normal weekend we go somewhere on tour, by bus or walking as we work hard in the week play hard on the weekend.
Edited by Allanv on Thursday 2nd May 20:20
53 this year with the boss 27 years and she is over 45 but under 50 ( ) no kids and that was a mutual choice
never regretted it, think of all the cool stuff i don't have to do like run the rugrats to various activities or arrange my holidays at the most expensive times of the year because all the other breeders being locked in to the same weeks off each year.
i do pity those who are tied to their hormonal need to breed and overpopulate the world , by not having spawn i reckon that i am doing more for the future of the planet than those ecco terrorist that brought london to a halt over the easter school holidays
) no kids and that was a mutual choicenever regretted it, think of all the cool stuff i don't have to do like run the rugrats to various activities or arrange my holidays at the most expensive times of the year because all the other breeders being locked in to the same weeks off each year.
i do pity those who are tied to their hormonal need to breed and overpopulate the world , by not having spawn i reckon that i am doing more for the future of the planet than those ecco terrorist that brought london to a halt over the easter school holidays
citizensm1th said:
53 this year with the boss 27 years and she is over 45 but under 50 ( ) no kids and that was a mutual choice
never regretted it, think of all the cool stuff i don't have to do like run the rugrats to various activities or arrange my holidays at the most expensive times of the year because all the other breeders being locked in to the same weeks off each year.
i do pity those who are tied to their hormonal need to breed and overpopulate the world , by not having spawn i reckon that i am doing more for the future of the planet than those ecco terrorist that brought london to a halt over the easter school holidays
Wow ) no kids and that was a mutual choicenever regretted it, think of all the cool stuff i don't have to do like run the rugrats to various activities or arrange my holidays at the most expensive times of the year because all the other breeders being locked in to the same weeks off each year.
i do pity those who are tied to their hormonal need to breed and overpopulate the world , by not having spawn i reckon that i am doing more for the future of the planet than those ecco terrorist that brought london to a halt over the easter school holidays
Were slightly different as my wife wanted kids but couldn't have them, I wasn't bothered either way.
Now my wife says not having them was the best decision we never made, and our child substitute (dog) is better. No school issues, don't need a baby sitter and house trained much more easily
Now my wife says not having them was the best decision we never made, and our child substitute (dog) is better. No school issues, don't need a baby sitter and house trained much more easily
Hilts said:
citizensm1th said:
53 this year with the boss 27 years and she is over 45 but under 50 ( ) no kids and that was a mutual choice
never regretted it, think of all the cool stuff i don't have to do like run the rugrats to various activities or arrange my holidays at the most expensive times of the year because all the other breeders being locked in to the same weeks off each year.
i do pity those who are tied to their hormonal need to breed and overpopulate the world , by not having spawn i reckon that i am doing more for the future of the planet than those ecco terrorist that brought london to a halt over the easter school holidays
Wow ) no kids and that was a mutual choicenever regretted it, think of all the cool stuff i don't have to do like run the rugrats to various activities or arrange my holidays at the most expensive times of the year because all the other breeders being locked in to the same weeks off each year.
i do pity those who are tied to their hormonal need to breed and overpopulate the world , by not having spawn i reckon that i am doing more for the future of the planet than those ecco terrorist that brought london to a halt over the easter school holidays
Allanv said:
Hilts said:
citizensm1th said:
53 this year with the boss 27 years and she is over 45 but under 50 ( ) no kids and that was a mutual choice
never regretted it, think of all the cool stuff i don't have to do like run the rugrats to various activities or arrange my holidays at the most expensive times of the year because all the other breeders being locked in to the same weeks off each year.
i do pity those who are tied to their hormonal need to breed and overpopulate the world , by not having spawn i reckon that i am doing more for the future of the planet than those ecco terrorist that brought london to a halt over the easter school holidays
Wow ) no kids and that was a mutual choicenever regretted it, think of all the cool stuff i don't have to do like run the rugrats to various activities or arrange my holidays at the most expensive times of the year because all the other breeders being locked in to the same weeks off each year.
i do pity those who are tied to their hormonal need to breed and overpopulate the world , by not having spawn i reckon that i am doing more for the future of the planet than those ecco terrorist that brought london to a halt over the easter school holidays
Someone who appears to believe this.
'i do pity those who are tied to their hormonal need to breed and overpopulate the world , by not having spawn i reckon that i am doing more for the future of the planet than those ecco terrorist that brought london to a halt over the easter school holidays'
Allanv said:
May I ask the reason for the "WOW"
i am guessing it is fine to be a eco mentalist who breeds like a rabbit but takes offence when it is pointed out that their selfish actions means that good fine upstanding petrolheads are being taxed out of their cars because the eco mentalists want kids.hows that for a reason to "WOW"
skeeterm5 said:
We have been together almost 25 years and no kids. Best decision we have ever made.
The one issue is that you can ose touch with friends as they have kids, all they want to do is talk about them. But as we get older and their kids are leaving home we are reconnecting with some old friends.
Reason parents talk about their kids is they are proud of them and I’m sure they are glad they have them. Kids are a blessing and loads of fun, you chose not to have them but parents don’t stop being parents as soon as kids leave home. Next they will be grandparents where you will just be old. The one issue is that you can ose touch with friends as they have kids, all they want to do is talk about them. But as we get older and their kids are leaving home we are reconnecting with some old friends.
I've got two lovely kids but I think there are definitely advantages to not having kids (I hate the term childless, makes it sound like you're without something). Kids are a constant worry from before they are born even, I reckon it's much more relaxing when you don't have them.
People often often talk their kids as if they're something they own. They aren't, they're people in their own right, all you're doing is making a positive contribution to their upbringing (hopefully). You can make just as much a positive impact on the live of a relative or friend's children, just as you can with adopted or step children.
People in the developing world are increasingly choosing to have less or no children, thanks to changing socio-religious attitudes.
People often often talk their kids as if they're something they own. They aren't, they're people in their own right, all you're doing is making a positive contribution to their upbringing (hopefully). You can make just as much a positive impact on the live of a relative or friend's children, just as you can with adopted or step children.
People in the developing world are increasingly choosing to have less or no children, thanks to changing socio-religious attitudes.
Connectors said:
Allanv said:
May I ask the reason for the "WOW"
I assume that it's because a reaction like that just screams, 'I'm in denial'. Those of us that are happy with or without kids don't feel the need to tell others that we're right, saving the planet etc etc.In fact there's one of those just a bit higher up in this thread.
I often wonder who they're trying to convince, the people they're telling or themselves.
I don't have a problem with people not having kids, I think more should make that choice or at least reduce the amount they have, that being said I do have an existential crisis when I think this..
You as an organism are the product of every evolutionary step from the first cells to move in the ocean to to the first animal to walk the land, your ancestors could have been hiding from dinosaurs as some rat like creature in one era to discovering fire in another, they may have watched as the pyramids were built or perhaps served in the roman legion, they may have fought in the English civil war or watched the coronation on TV and after all that it ends with you.
You as an organism are the product of every evolutionary step from the first cells to move in the ocean to to the first animal to walk the land, your ancestors could have been hiding from dinosaurs as some rat like creature in one era to discovering fire in another, they may have watched as the pyramids were built or perhaps served in the roman legion, they may have fought in the English civil war or watched the coronation on TV and after all that it ends with you.
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