Arguing about money
Discussion
We went to some friends house for lunch yesterday, helluva atmosphere as soon as we stepped through the door.
They have a daughter, his step daughter, who is 29, about to be 30 and the wife wants to give her £10,000 from their joint account as a birthday present. He says she earns £100,000+. has had 4 very extravagant holidays in the past 12 months, uses weed and coke and is generally one of the most objectionable people you could meet. He says, she doesnt deserve anything and appreciates nothing.
This argument was in full flow when we got there and we were asked the inevitable question 'what do you think'.
The bad conversation turned worse when we heard that a mutual friend, a man, has developed alzheimers and the doctor has warned her that very soon he will not know her and could turn violent. His wife has told the two women in the group that if this happens she will ensure that all the money and investments, including the house, will be turned into her name and then sold. She will then take the husband to a hospital and leave him there and then do her best to disappear, abroad if neccessary, with every penny of the cash.
The two women thought that this was perfectly reasonable, us two blokes thought WTF, we took some beers and went into the garden.
We went back in after an hour and all we got was - 'are you back in the real world yet?'
Who is being unreasonable here?
They have a daughter, his step daughter, who is 29, about to be 30 and the wife wants to give her £10,000 from their joint account as a birthday present. He says she earns £100,000+. has had 4 very extravagant holidays in the past 12 months, uses weed and coke and is generally one of the most objectionable people you could meet. He says, she doesnt deserve anything and appreciates nothing.
This argument was in full flow when we got there and we were asked the inevitable question 'what do you think'.
The bad conversation turned worse when we heard that a mutual friend, a man, has developed alzheimers and the doctor has warned her that very soon he will not know her and could turn violent. His wife has told the two women in the group that if this happens she will ensure that all the money and investments, including the house, will be turned into her name and then sold. She will then take the husband to a hospital and leave him there and then do her best to disappear, abroad if neccessary, with every penny of the cash.
The two women thought that this was perfectly reasonable, us two blokes thought WTF, we took some beers and went into the garden.
We went back in after an hour and all we got was - 'are you back in the real world yet?'
Who is being unreasonable here?
Robbo 27 said:
We went to some friends house for lunch yesterday, helluva atmosphere as soon as we stepped through the door.
They have a daughter, his step daughter, who is 29, about to be 30 and the wife wants to give her £10,000 from their joint account as a birthday present. He says she earns £100,000+. has had 4 very extravagant holidays in the past 12 months, uses weed and coke and is generally one of the most objectionable people you could meet. He says, she doesnt deserve anything and appreciates nothing.
This argument was in full flow when we got there and we were asked the inevitable question 'what do you think'.
The bad conversation turned worse when we heard that a mutual friend, a man, has developed alzheimers and the doctor has warned her that very soon he will not know her and could turn violent. His wife has told the two women in the group that if this happens she will ensure that all the money and investments, including the house, will be turned into her name and then sold. She will then take the husband to a hospital and leave him there and then do her best to disappear, abroad if neccessary, with every penny of the cash.
The two women thought that this was perfectly reasonable, us two blokes thought WTF, we took some beers and went into the garden.
We went back in after an hour and all we got was - 'are you back in the real world yet?'
Who is being unreasonable here?
Are you trying to compete with the 'Wife and daughter need to get to Yorkshire - Simple?' thread. Everything about that post is ridiculous. They have a daughter, his step daughter, who is 29, about to be 30 and the wife wants to give her £10,000 from their joint account as a birthday present. He says she earns £100,000+. has had 4 very extravagant holidays in the past 12 months, uses weed and coke and is generally one of the most objectionable people you could meet. He says, she doesnt deserve anything and appreciates nothing.
This argument was in full flow when we got there and we were asked the inevitable question 'what do you think'.
The bad conversation turned worse when we heard that a mutual friend, a man, has developed alzheimers and the doctor has warned her that very soon he will not know her and could turn violent. His wife has told the two women in the group that if this happens she will ensure that all the money and investments, including the house, will be turned into her name and then sold. She will then take the husband to a hospital and leave him there and then do her best to disappear, abroad if neccessary, with every penny of the cash.
The two women thought that this was perfectly reasonable, us two blokes thought WTF, we took some beers and went into the garden.
We went back in after an hour and all we got was - 'are you back in the real world yet?'
Who is being unreasonable here?
In my experience, money is one of the things which causes the most friction within families. Within groups of friends, lending money alos often leads to falling out, as do some discussions over politics and religion (other subjects can also be contentious).
I try to avoid this at all costs. I am fortunate that my job means that I can be called out at any time, and I have a few friendly clients who will call me if I send them a text.
I try to avoid this at all costs. I am fortunate that my job means that I can be called out at any time, and I have a few friendly clients who will call me if I send them a text.
Robbo 27 said:
The bad conversation turned worse when we heard that a mutual friend, a man, has developed alzheimers and the doctor has warned her that very soon he will not know her and could turn violent. His wife has told the two women in the group that if this happens she will ensure that all the money and investments, including the house, will be turned into her name and then sold. She will then take the husband to a hospital and leave him there and then do her best to disappear, abroad if neccessary, with every penny of the cash.
Is this some kind of tranny-transexual-lesbian-love quartet? 
Robbo 27 said:
We went to some friends house for lunch yesterday, helluva atmosphere as soon as we stepped through the door.
They have a daughter, his step daughter, who is 29, about to be 30 and the wife wants to give her £10,000 from their joint account as a birthday present. He says she earns £100,000+. has had 4 very extravagant holidays in the past 12 months, uses weed and coke and is generally one of the most objectionable people you could meet. He says, she doesnt deserve anything and appreciates nothing.
This argument was in full flow when we got there and we were asked the inevitable question 'what do you think'.
The bad conversation turned worse when we heard that a mutual friend, a man, has developed alzheimers and the doctor has warned her that very soon he will not know her and could turn violent. His wife has told the two women in the group that if this happens she will ensure that all the money and investments, including the house, will be turned into her name and then sold. She will then take the husband to a hospital and leave him there and then do her best to disappear, abroad if neccessary, with every penny of the cash.
The two women thought that this was perfectly reasonable, us two blokes thought WTF, we took some beers and went into the garden.
We went back in after an hour and all we got was - 'are you back in the real world yet?'
Who is being unreasonable here?
All depends on contextThey have a daughter, his step daughter, who is 29, about to be 30 and the wife wants to give her £10,000 from their joint account as a birthday present. He says she earns £100,000+. has had 4 very extravagant holidays in the past 12 months, uses weed and coke and is generally one of the most objectionable people you could meet. He says, she doesnt deserve anything and appreciates nothing.
This argument was in full flow when we got there and we were asked the inevitable question 'what do you think'.
The bad conversation turned worse when we heard that a mutual friend, a man, has developed alzheimers and the doctor has warned her that very soon he will not know her and could turn violent. His wife has told the two women in the group that if this happens she will ensure that all the money and investments, including the house, will be turned into her name and then sold. She will then take the husband to a hospital and leave him there and then do her best to disappear, abroad if neccessary, with every penny of the cash.
The two women thought that this was perfectly reasonable, us two blokes thought WTF, we took some beers and went into the garden.
We went back in after an hour and all we got was - 'are you back in the real world yet?'
Who is being unreasonable here?
1) How rich are your friends and how old are they? It could be very good advice to give £10k now as a present to avoid inheritance tax and still be a drop in the ocean to them. If they are 50 odd and that £10k makes up half of their savings then its mental.
2) Regarding the ill husband, it sounds like trying playing the system - why give up the home and pay thousands in care if you can find a way round it. Alzheimers is one of those horrible illnesses where normal advice goes out of the window.
Robbo 27 said:
We went to some friends house for lunch yesterday, helluva atmosphere as soon as we stepped through the door.
They have a daughter, his step daughter, who is 29, about to be 30 and the wife wants to give her £10,000 from their joint account as a birthday present. He says she earns £100,000+. has had 4 very extravagant holidays in the past 12 months, uses weed and coke and is generally one of the most objectionable people you could meet. He says, she doesnt deserve anything and appreciates nothing.
This argument was in full flow when we got there and we were asked the inevitable question 'what do you think'.
And you answered??They have a daughter, his step daughter, who is 29, about to be 30 and the wife wants to give her £10,000 from their joint account as a birthday present. He says she earns £100,000+. has had 4 very extravagant holidays in the past 12 months, uses weed and coke and is generally one of the most objectionable people you could meet. He says, she doesnt deserve anything and appreciates nothing.
This argument was in full flow when we got there and we were asked the inevitable question 'what do you think'.
Why on earth would you not say something like
"It's not for me to say. She's your daughter so suggest you talk it out another time, unless you want us to leave now?"
Massively inappropriate to try and involve friends in a family argument like that and massively inappropriate to answer the question.
Robbo 27 said:
The bad conversation turned worse when we heard that a mutual friend, a man, has developed alzheimers and the doctor has warned her that very soon he will not know her and could turn violent. His wife has told the two women in the group that if this happens she will ensure that all the money and investments, including the house, will be turned into her name and then sold. She will then take the husband to a hospital and leave him there and then do her best to disappear, abroad if neccessary, with every penny of the cash.
The two women thought that this was perfectly reasonable, us two blokes thought WTF, we took some beers and went into the garden.
We went back in after an hour and all we got was - 'are you back in the real world yet?'
If one of these women was your wife, I would suggest appointing a power of attorney that isn't her as quickly as possible....The two women thought that this was perfectly reasonable, us two blokes thought WTF, we took some beers and went into the garden.
We went back in after an hour and all we got was - 'are you back in the real world yet?'
Muzzer79 said:
And you answered??
Why on earth would you not say something like
"It's not for me to say. She's your daughter so suggest you talk it out another time, unless you want us to leave now?"
Massively inappropriate to try and involve friends in a family argument like that and massively inappropriate to answer the question.
This is my thoughts too tbh. Why on earth would you not say something like
"It's not for me to say. She's your daughter so suggest you talk it out another time, unless you want us to leave now?"
Massively inappropriate to try and involve friends in a family argument like that and massively inappropriate to answer the question.
Although I don’t even think I’d have offered to hang around and just left them to stew on their argument rather than remain in mooted uncomfortableness
JuniorD said:
Robbo 27 said:
The bad conversation turned worse when we heard that a mutual friend, a man, has developed alzheimers and the doctor has warned her that very soon he will not know her and could turn violent. His wife has told the two women in the group that if this happens she will ensure that all the money and investments, including the house, will be turned into her name and then sold. She will then take the husband to a hospital and leave him there and then do her best to disappear, abroad if neccessary, with every penny of the cash.
Is this some kind of tranny-transexual-lesbian-love quartet? The doctor warned the wife that the man is becoming unwell.
The wife will take various actions upon him being hospitalised.
sunbeam alpine said:
In my experience, money is one of the things which causes the most friction within families. Within groups of friends, lending money alos often leads to falling out, as do some discussions over politics and religion (other subjects can also be contentious).
I try to avoid this at all costs. I am fortunate that my job means that I can be called out at any time, and I have a few friendly clients who will call me if I send them a text.
I'm sure this is actually a lot less salacious than it sounds! I try to avoid this at all costs. I am fortunate that my job means that I can be called out at any time, and I have a few friendly clients who will call me if I send them a text.
Either way I'm keen to learn more, just in case!SpeckledJim said:
sunbeam alpine said:
In my experience, money is one of the things which causes the most friction within families. Within groups of friends, lending money alos often leads to falling out, as do some discussions over politics and religion (other subjects can also be contentious).
I try to avoid this at all costs. I am fortunate that my job means that I can be called out at any time, and I have a few friendly clients who will call me if I send them a text.
I'm sure this is actually a lot less salacious than it sounds! I try to avoid this at all costs. I am fortunate that my job means that I can be called out at any time, and I have a few friendly clients who will call me if I send them a text.
Either way I'm keen to learn more, just in case!Jasandjules said:
1. You have to be mad to give a 30 year old "child" 10k for their Birthday
2. You have to be mad to ask your friends if you should give 10k to a child for their Birthday.
3. If asked by a mad friend, you have to be mad to answer them.
Some 'child' if she's able to earn £100K+ (although rather begs the question of why she should need £10K if she's earning that much). 2. You have to be mad to ask your friends if you should give 10k to a child for their Birthday.
3. If asked by a mad friend, you have to be mad to answer them.
However ultimately the whole thing all sounds extremely unlikely (and a good way to start an argument on the Internet).
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