Being part of the grooms party - is it an honour?

[d6dph]

Evening all,

I've got just under four months till I the the knot, I've got a groom's party that consists of my best man, brother and brother in law.
I've asked all of them over 18 months ago and the level of interest has been disappointing, only my brother really getting involved.

Is it just me that feels being asked to be a part of the day should be an honour? I have been usher at a couple of mates weddings and I felt massively privileged.

Maybe I just have sand in my mangina and need to toughen up

[anonymous-user]

I’d say no. But then again I hate all weddings.

[anonymous-user]

And anything and everything that’s connected.

[FredericRobinson]

I've been honoured to be an usher, wasn't expected to do anything 4 months out though?

[Steamer]

garyhun said:

And anything and everything that’s connected.

Indeed - I hate weddings with a passion and they seem to be getting worse! 'If your wedding has a #hashtag - you should Not be getting married!'

However - When I did my turn as a BestMan I did put all that behind me, and yes - it was a huge honour.


...just don't ask me to any more weddings, ever.

[anonymous-user]

garyhun said:

I’d say no. But then again I hate all weddings.

Im with this guy. Infact i hate them so much i would be pretty annoyed if i had to get involved in one to that degree, but I'm sure thats not normal

[John Laverick]

You can expect them to help out with jobs on the day ... your best man can organise the stag. Other than that it's up to you boyo!

[djc206]

d6dph said:

Evening all,

I've got just under four months till I the the knot, I've got a groom's party that consists of my best man, brother and brother in law.
I've asked all of them over 18 months ago and the level of interest has been disappointing, only my brother really getting involved.

Is it just me that feels being asked to be a part of the day should be an honour? I have been usher at a couple of mates weddings and I felt massively privileged.

Maybe I just have sand in my mangina and need to toughen up

What interest were you expecting? An ushers job is an on the day thing no? Basically herding cats to where they are supposed to be when they’re supposed to be there. I only had a best man, he organised my stag do and on the day he kept hold of the rings and gave a speech. That was it.

I attended my sisters wedding last weekend and the poor best man was roped into dealing with the demanding photographer by rounding up whoever it was he demanded for the next round of contrived photos. No one else in the grooms party was expected to do anything that I recall.

[d6dph]

Do t get me wrong, I'm not expecting daily texts getting excited

I spoke with her brother today who showed zero interest, I've set up my stag do with my brother doing the final booking etc. Best man has been MIA for the last 9 months!

If roles were reversed, i would be seeing if I can help with things. Looks like they are wearing pink for the day ;-)

[csd19]

FredericRobinson said:

I've been honoured to be an usher, wasn't expected to do anything 4 months out though?

This completely.

OP almost sounds like a hint of groomzilla with a sandy mangina

I'm not too surprised at the lack of interest at this stage - part of the party or not there's nothing less interesting than someone else's wedding. Apart from their kids, of course.

In all honesty though OP, don't worry about it at the moment, it'll all work out in the end. Good luck and best wishes for when the day comes

[GeneralSinn]

Sorry but outside of sorting the stag do and of course the strippers/hookers for the stag do and being present on the day to do duties there is zero else they should/need to be doing.

I’ve had the best part of a decade saturated in stag dos / best man / usher roles and would never expect more of my role ... same at both my weddings, expecting nothing above the stated from my groomsmen

[Henners]

Of my two mates in the ‘grooms party’ or whatever, one didn’t give a toss and tbh was a bit of a disappointment. The other went balls out and was great.

[xx99xx]

Been an usher 6 times and a best man once. As stated earlier, ushers have nothing to do until the day and even on the day it's nothing exciting. It's also highly normal and expected that ushers will not get measured for their suits until the very last day of the deadline or perhaps a few weeks later than the deadline. This also isn't a sign of disinterest.

Sounds to me like whoever is in charge of organising the day needs to clarify roles and manage expectations.

[valiant]

WtF is a grooms party?

Is this just a fancy term for a stag do but no doubt lasts for days and involves various bonding activities?

Just go to town and get plastered. It will be cheaper and have the same effect.

You - get married. Your job is to turn up on the day and nod positively at all your fiancé’s ideas.

Best man. Get you pissed on your stag and make sure you turn up on the day.

Ushers. Pointless. Used to placate mates who never made best man status.


I know you think it’s exiting getting married but in reality it’s your future wife’s day. You just turn up and look pretty and avoid shagging the bridesmaids. Everything else is frippery.

Can you tell I hate weddings?

[djc206]

valiant said:

I know you think it’s exiting getting married but in reality it’s your future wife’s day. You just turn up and look pretty and avoid shagging the bridesmaids. Everything else is frippery.

Can you tell I hate weddings?

Depends on the wedding. We got married in a brewery, I was tasked with drinking enough gin to turn the bottles into centre pieces and we had pork crackling in abundance. My wedding was fking awesome.