Being a godparent & gifts
Discussion
Honoured to be asked to act as a godparent for a friend's two kids.
Not one for religion myself, but the premise seems to be "if anything happens to the mum & dad, would you take responsibility for the kids and raise them as your own?"
Absolutely I would, no issue with that - they are as close to family as any non-relative could be.
My question; would like to get them something as a gift but no idea what - the kids are 2 years old and 6 months old respectively so they don't care.
The internet throws up some terrible suggestions but I'd like to do something useful for the future rather than purchase a silver-plated piece of tat.
Buy a Krugerrand each? Money into Premium Bonds in their name?
Any other ideas?
Not one for religion myself, but the premise seems to be "if anything happens to the mum & dad, would you take responsibility for the kids and raise them as your own?"
Absolutely I would, no issue with that - they are as close to family as any non-relative could be.
My question; would like to get them something as a gift but no idea what - the kids are 2 years old and 6 months old respectively so they don't care.
The internet throws up some terrible suggestions but I'd like to do something useful for the future rather than purchase a silver-plated piece of tat.
Buy a Krugerrand each? Money into Premium Bonds in their name?
Any other ideas?
I was asked to be a godparent 5 years ago now. Me and the child's godmother (another good friend, but not my partner) started putting £10/month into a savings account. We'll put it into an ISA soon.
Should be enough to pay for something important by the time the child turns 18 or 21, depending on when we decide to give it to her.
Uni fees, a car, a gap year..
You don't notice a tenner a month and it'll be a good birthday pressie in the future.
Should be enough to pay for something important by the time the child turns 18 or 21, depending on when we decide to give it to her.
Uni fees, a car, a gap year..
You don't notice a tenner a month and it'll be a good birthday pressie in the future.
Flying Fish said:
I was asked to be a godparent 5 years ago now. Me and the child's godmother (another good friend, but not my partner) started putting £10/month into a savings account. We'll put it into an ISA soon.
Should be enough to pay for something important by the time the child turns 18 or 21, depending on when we decide to give it to her.
Uni fees, a car, a gap year..
You don't notice a tenner a month and it'll be a good birthday pressie in the future.
That’s impressively organised, I was chatting with a mate who had neglected giving his god-daughter anything ever & she will soon be 21. We were calculating a catch up amount & settled on £500, you make us look rather mean. Should be enough to pay for something important by the time the child turns 18 or 21, depending on when we decide to give it to her.
Uni fees, a car, a gap year..
You don't notice a tenner a month and it'll be a good birthday pressie in the future.
OzzyR1 said:
Not one for religion myself, but the premise seems to be "if anything happens to the mum & dad, would you take responsibility for the kids and raise them as your own?"
I think that is more symbolic than anything else unless you are legally down as taking them on if something happens to the parents. My sisters kids have god parents, (all a load of guff if you ask me if someone isn't religious) however I am legally down as being their guardian if something where to happen to my sister and BIL.
I've got two godchildren.
One is nearly 30 now, and doesn't get anything now. I was young when I became his godparent, so he wasn't desparately spoilt.
My neice is 6 and gets a normal gift and a 'mint' £5 coin every year. I'll worry about 18 or 21 in a bit...
My brother cynically chose his richest friends to be the godparents to his children. I am not sure they are even particularly close, but the kids do benefit... They aren't down to care for them if something happens to my brother (I am!) .
My daughter isn't christened, and is unlikely to be. We have toyed with non religious equivalents but realistically won't do anything about it.
One is nearly 30 now, and doesn't get anything now. I was young when I became his godparent, so he wasn't desparately spoilt.
My neice is 6 and gets a normal gift and a 'mint' £5 coin every year. I'll worry about 18 or 21 in a bit...
My brother cynically chose his richest friends to be the godparents to his children. I am not sure they are even particularly close, but the kids do benefit... They aren't down to care for them if something happens to my brother (I am!) .
My daughter isn't christened, and is unlikely to be. We have toyed with non religious equivalents but realistically won't do anything about it.
I *think* I’m godfather to a couple of nephews and nieces. Some I see regularly, some not so. I don’t regard it as anything more than appeasing the parents’ requests to be a godparent and don’t do anything because of it. I can’t remember who my own kids’ godparents are either, it’s not something important and to me certainly nothing worth regular cash gifts or investments.
I'm a godparent to a niece and a nephew who I have not seen or spoken to for some 15 -18 years. Recently I received an email (where they got my email from I've no idea) from their father requesting my presence at a religious ceremony celebrating niece and nephews "admittance in to adult life", whatever the f
k that means.
Not sure what to do, I'm inclined not to do anything. I haven't been part of their life. I'm now wondering why I agreed to be a godparent. Probably to appease the religious section of my family!
k that means.Not sure what to do, I'm inclined not to do anything. I haven't been part of their life. I'm now wondering why I agreed to be a godparent. Probably to appease the religious section of my family!
OzzyR1 said:
Honoured to be asked to act as a godparent for a friend's two kids.
Not one for religion myself, but the premise seems to be "if anything happens to the mum & dad, would you take responsibility for the kids and raise them as your own?"
Absolutely I would, no issue with that - they are as close to family as any non-relative could be.
My question; would like to get them something as a gift but no idea what - the kids are 2 years old and 6 months old respectively so they don't care.
The internet throws up some terrible suggestions but I'd like to do something useful for the future rather than purchase a silver-plated piece of tat.
Buy a Krugerrand each? Money into Premium Bonds in their name?
Any other ideas?
The role of godparent is actually to ensure the lifelong spiritual formation for the child.Not one for religion myself, but the premise seems to be "if anything happens to the mum & dad, would you take responsibility for the kids and raise them as your own?"
Absolutely I would, no issue with that - they are as close to family as any non-relative could be.
My question; would like to get them something as a gift but no idea what - the kids are 2 years old and 6 months old respectively so they don't care.
The internet throws up some terrible suggestions but I'd like to do something useful for the future rather than purchase a silver-plated piece of tat.
Buy a Krugerrand each? Money into Premium Bonds in their name?
Any other ideas?
It's a big commitment.
Flying Fish said:
I was asked to be a godparent 5 years ago now. Me and the child's godmother (another good friend, but not my partner) started putting £10/month into a savings account. We'll put it into an ISA soon.
Should be enough to pay for something important by the time the child turns 18 or 21, depending on when we decide to give it to her.
Uni fees, a car, a gap year..
You don't notice a tenner a month and it'll be a good birthday pressie in the future.
I have 3 god kids 10/7/4 they all get £10 per month. I'm hoping they put it towards a car!!Should be enough to pay for something important by the time the child turns 18 or 21, depending on when we decide to give it to her.
Uni fees, a car, a gap year..
You don't notice a tenner a month and it'll be a good birthday pressie in the future.
PositronicRay said:
The role of godparent is actually to ensure the lifelong spiritual formation for the child.
It's a big commitment.
Exactly this. Hence why the whole thing is generally a sham.. I know numerous non Christian parents Christening their children with non Christian God Parents. It’s unbelievable that the church would even accept this, but it’s all money so they welcome it. It's a big commitment.
I was asked to be a God Parent and declined as I’m agnostic. Pressure continued so I spoke with the Vicar who said that’s good enough for him. I reluctantly went through with it (wife’s friends - gotta keep the peace) and have regretted it since. You have to read a speech in church with the promises you’ll fulfil and I read it out loud knowing I wouldn’t. I’ve probably seen the kid a handful of times since then and if I spoke to him about faith his parents would think I’m nuts.
I now reject invites to even attended Christenings, It’s not my place to be there. I know another friend who had an ‘after party’ with a Magician! The irony was definitely lost on them.
bristolbaron said:
PositronicRay said:
The role of godparent is actually to ensure the lifelong spiritual formation for the child.
It's a big commitment.
Exactly this. Hence why the whole thing is generally a sham.. I know numerous non Christian parents Christening their children with non Christian God Parents. It’s unbelievable that the church would even accept this, but it’s all money so they welcome it. It's a big commitment.
I was asked to be a God Parent and declined as I’m agnostic. Pressure continued so I spoke with the Vicar who said that’s good enough for him. I reluctantly went through with it (wife’s friends - gotta keep the peace) and have regretted it since. You have to read a speech in church with the promises you’ll fulfil and I read it out loud knowing I wouldn’t. I’ve probably seen the kid a handful of times since then and if I spoke to him about faith his parents would think I’m nuts.
I now reject invites to even attended Christenings, It’s not my place to be there. I know another friend who had an ‘after party’ with a Magician! The irony was definitely lost on them.
I think with my sister it's all a bit of a show and an excuse for a big thing to be focused on her and her family, that is just the way she is; kind of likes the attention.
I think it is very hypocritical if you aren't remotely religious, my (now estranged) father in law hassled us to have our eldest "done", said she would go to hell etc if we didn't, we didn't and we no longer see or hear form him.
I have no kids of my own and am never likely to have any so when I was asked 13 years ago to be Godfather to some close friends' fist-born daughter I was very touched, I had a religious upbringing, and though I'm not a church attendee anymore I am secure in my own beliefs, so the vows I made in the church that day in 2006 meant something to me.
Though the marriage that produced my Goddaughter broke down a decade ago I have been lucky enough to be involved in almost every step of her life, in fact I see her on average 3 or 4 times a week and I've spent most of the last 6 months helping her with exam revision and education in general.
In addition to the educational stuff we spend a fair amount of time having fun as well, this year we've been to Alton Towers, to London and have further days out planned, I don't make extravagant gifts, but food, education, travel and days out probably run me least £200+ a month, which is worth every penny to me.
In short, I can't imagine my life without her in it and I'm thankful everyday for the bond that exists between us, her parents' trust and faith in my ability to steer her in the right direction in life is something I take seriously and I think I benefit from having her in my life as much as she benefits from having me in hers.
Though the marriage that produced my Goddaughter broke down a decade ago I have been lucky enough to be involved in almost every step of her life, in fact I see her on average 3 or 4 times a week and I've spent most of the last 6 months helping her with exam revision and education in general.
In addition to the educational stuff we spend a fair amount of time having fun as well, this year we've been to Alton Towers, to London and have further days out planned, I don't make extravagant gifts, but food, education, travel and days out probably run me least £200+ a month, which is worth every penny to me.
In short, I can't imagine my life without her in it and I'm thankful everyday for the bond that exists between us, her parents' trust and faith in my ability to steer her in the right direction in life is something I take seriously and I think I benefit from having her in my life as much as she benefits from having me in hers.
K50 DEL said:
I have no kids of my own and am never likely to have any so when I was asked 13 years ago to be Godfather to some close friends' fist-born daughter I was very touched, I had a religious upbringing, and though I'm not a church attendee anymore I am secure in my own beliefs, so the vows I made in the church that day in 2006 meant something to me.
Though the marriage that produced my Goddaughter broke down a decade ago I have been lucky enough to be involved in almost every step of her life, in fact I see her on average 3 or 4 times a week and I've spent most of the last 6 months helping her with exam revision and education in general.
In addition to the educational stuff we spend a fair amount of time having fun as well, this year we've been to Alton Towers, to London and have further days out planned, I don't make extravagant gifts, but food, education, travel and days out probably run me least £200+ a month, which is worth every penny to me.
In short, I can't imagine my life without her in it and I'm thankful everyday for the bond that exists between us, her parents' trust and faith in my ability to steer her in the right direction in life is something I take seriously and I think I benefit from having her in my life as much as she benefits from having me in hers.
That's lovely. Though the marriage that produced my Goddaughter broke down a decade ago I have been lucky enough to be involved in almost every step of her life, in fact I see her on average 3 or 4 times a week and I've spent most of the last 6 months helping her with exam revision and education in general.
In addition to the educational stuff we spend a fair amount of time having fun as well, this year we've been to Alton Towers, to London and have further days out planned, I don't make extravagant gifts, but food, education, travel and days out probably run me least £200+ a month, which is worth every penny to me.
In short, I can't imagine my life without her in it and I'm thankful everyday for the bond that exists between us, her parents' trust and faith in my ability to steer her in the right direction in life is something I take seriously and I think I benefit from having her in my life as much as she benefits from having me in hers.
Not a god parent, but I am "supporting adult" to my friend's lovely little girl, who is now 5. I'm close to her older daughter too, although she was already around by the point their mother and I became close. Both of the girls and their new baby brother are a big part of my life. They call me uncle.
It was their mother and stepfather's wedding last weekend, and although they were involved as flower girl and bridesmaid, they clung to my partner and me a bit during the day as they were largely surrounded by members of the groom's family who they don't know. It was lovely to be able to give them a bit of support and a friendly face of someone they knew whilst mum was being pulled from pillar to post, as the bride generally is on her wedding day.
I don't have children of my own and I'm not sure if I ever want any, so they get spoiled a little bit when I'm around. It's a rewarding experience for me.
Their mum has an ISA for each of them, and I pay into that equally every month. They would also quite heavily benefit from my life insurance if anything happened to me. I'm satisfied with that.
It was their mother and stepfather's wedding last weekend, and although they were involved as flower girl and bridesmaid, they clung to my partner and me a bit during the day as they were largely surrounded by members of the groom's family who they don't know. It was lovely to be able to give them a bit of support and a friendly face of someone they knew whilst mum was being pulled from pillar to post, as the bride generally is on her wedding day.
I don't have children of my own and I'm not sure if I ever want any, so they get spoiled a little bit when I'm around. It's a rewarding experience for me.
Their mum has an ISA for each of them, and I pay into that equally every month. They would also quite heavily benefit from my life insurance if anything happened to me. I'm satisfied with that.
I am christened, the wife isn’t.
I’m godfather to my nephew (now 14) I’m not particularly religious but my BILs family are very very religious (Northern Irish catholics)
My nephew actually asked to be christened and it was done when he was 10. My sister agreed to it as it would rocket his chances of getting into the desired secondary school - which it did and it worked.
There were several other god parents many of whom he rarely sees or has anything to do with and have zero input into his upbringing and health/wellbeing.
My daughter isn’t christened and therefore “isn’t welcome into heaven” ... if she wants to be when she is old enough to make an informed decision we will get it done.
I’m godfather to my nephew (now 14) I’m not particularly religious but my BILs family are very very religious (Northern Irish catholics)
My nephew actually asked to be christened and it was done when he was 10. My sister agreed to it as it would rocket his chances of getting into the desired secondary school - which it did and it worked.
There were several other god parents many of whom he rarely sees or has anything to do with and have zero input into his upbringing and health/wellbeing.
My daughter isn’t christened and therefore “isn’t welcome into heaven” ... if she wants to be when she is old enough to make an informed decision we will get it done.
alorotom said:
I am christened, the wife isn’t.
I’m godfather to my nephew (now 14) I’m not particularly religious but my BILs family are very very religious (Northern Irish catholics)
My nephew actually asked to be christened and it was done when he was 10. My sister agreed to it as it would rocket his chances of getting into the desired secondary school - which it did and it worked.
There were several other god parents many of whom he rarely sees or has anything to do with and have zero input into his upbringing and health/wellbeing.
My daughter isn’t christened and therefore “isn’t welcome into heaven” ... if she wants to be when she is old enough to make an informed decision we will get it done.
AIUI to make into the kingdom of heaven you only need to believe. Probably depends on your branch though. I’m godfather to my nephew (now 14) I’m not particularly religious but my BILs family are very very religious (Northern Irish catholics)
My nephew actually asked to be christened and it was done when he was 10. My sister agreed to it as it would rocket his chances of getting into the desired secondary school - which it did and it worked.
There were several other god parents many of whom he rarely sees or has anything to do with and have zero input into his upbringing and health/wellbeing.
My daughter isn’t christened and therefore “isn’t welcome into heaven” ... if she wants to be when she is old enough to make an informed decision we will get it done.
K50 DEL said:
I have no kids of my own and am never likely to have any so when I was asked 13 years ago to be Godfather to some close friends' fist-born daughter I was very touched, I had a religious upbringing, and though I'm not a church attendee anymore I am secure in my own beliefs, so the vows I made in the church that day in 2006 meant something to me.
Though the marriage that produced my Goddaughter broke down a decade ago I have been lucky enough to be involved in almost every step of her life, in fact I see her on average 3 or 4 times a week and I've spent most of the last 6 months helping her with exam revision and education in general.
In addition to the educational stuff we spend a fair amount of time having fun as well, this year we've been to Alton Towers, to London and have further days out planned, I don't make extravagant gifts, but food, education, travel and days out probably run me least £200+ a month, which is worth every penny to me.
In short, I can't imagine my life without her in it and I'm thankful everyday for the bond that exists between us, her parents' trust and faith in my ability to steer her in the right direction in life is something I take seriously and I think I benefit from having her in my life as much as she benefits from having me in hers.
Best thing I have read all week, good on you. My daughters step parents will I hope take a similar pathThough the marriage that produced my Goddaughter broke down a decade ago I have been lucky enough to be involved in almost every step of her life, in fact I see her on average 3 or 4 times a week and I've spent most of the last 6 months helping her with exam revision and education in general.
In addition to the educational stuff we spend a fair amount of time having fun as well, this year we've been to Alton Towers, to London and have further days out planned, I don't make extravagant gifts, but food, education, travel and days out probably run me least £200+ a month, which is worth every penny to me.
In short, I can't imagine my life without her in it and I'm thankful everyday for the bond that exists between us, her parents' trust and faith in my ability to steer her in the right direction in life is something I take seriously and I think I benefit from having her in my life as much as she benefits from having me in hers.
Monkeylegend said:
I became a God parent about 40 years ago. The father was in the RAF, they moved away almost immediately afterwards and haven't seen or had any contact with them or the now 43 year old godchild since.
Am I going to hell
If your an unbeliever you will, as a believer you shouldn't, but perhaps pray for forgiveness just to be on the safe side. Am I going to hell
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