As useless as...

[davhill]

Making browsing PH the sport of an idle 20 min the other day
I chanced upon some old it/he/she is as useless as...posts.

The old faves were all there, including, 'an ashtray on a motorbike'.

And the choccy ones.

'...a chocolate mantelpiece/fireguard/teapot' and so on.

Being a journalissed for car mags some time ago, I came up with three.

As useless as...

an inertia reel parachute.

a parachute that opens on impact.

and my personal favourite.

a cordless kite.

Any new ones?

[Flying Fish]

davhill said:

Being a journalissed for car mags some time ago, I came up with three.

This is either hilarious trolling or terrifying.

I assume theres a parrot on the way.

Oooh Ooh, can I add? As much use as Davhill's english teacher.

[davhill]

Actually, my english teacher Mrs. Smith,nee Miss Grant, was mouthwateringly lovely (he ejaculated). She got me through, among other things, my english language O-level a year early. So there.

Should I be feathering the throttle now?

[exelero]

Tits on a fish

Handbrake on a greyhound

[Johnspex]

Ash tray on a motorbike.

[Stuart70]

A cat flap in an elephant house.

The next Tory party leader.

Edited by Stuart70 on Monday 17th June 05:17

[Trophy Husband]

A one legged ar5e kicker.

[anonymous-user]

Kickstart on Concorde

[Turbotechnic]

A leper doing sign language.

[SCEtoAUX]

Phil Jones

[glenrobbo]

davhill said:

Making browsing PH the sport of an idle 20 min the other day
I chanced upon some old it/he/she is as useless as...posts.

The old faves were all there, including, 'an ashtray on a motorbike'.

Any new ones?

Johnspex said:

Ash tray on a motorbike.

Ooh, I know!
How about a chocolate ashtray on a motorbike?

Journalissed?

[CanAm]

exelero said:

Tits on a fish

Tits on a crocodile was the version I've heard.

[55palfers]

Flying Fish said:

davhill said:

Being a journalissed for car mags some time ago, I came up with three.

This is either hilarious trolling or terrifying.

I assume theres a parrot on the way.

Oooh Ooh, can I add? As much use as Davhill's english teacher.

I recall seeing "journalissed" in Private Eye many years ago. I think.

[JCollins]

CanAm said:

exelero said:

Tits on a fish

Tits on a crocodile was the version I've heard.

A nuns tits

[JCollins]

Mud flaps on a tortoise
Condom in a monastery
A blind man in Jessops
Grown woman to Michael Jackson

[GAjon]

Indicators on a BMW.

[ecs]

A cock flavoured lollypop

[TwigtheWonderkid]

Anne Frank's drum kit.

[Ekona]

Ejector seat in a helicopter.

[8Ace]

ecs said:

A cock flavoured lollypop