Crematorium double booking a funeral
Discussion
Not sure if the right place so please move if needed.
Sadly my Mum passed away early last month so I have been arranging the funeral, the service was booked and time/date confirmed about 4 weeks ago. I got a call from the funeral directors earlier this week (funeral is tomorrow) who basically informed me of the double booking, as you can imagine this was unpleasant news!
The crematorium has 2 chapels and the one we chose was because my Dad's service was there and that is what my Mum wanted. From the various discussions between myself and the funeral directors and between the funeral directors and the crematorium we seem to have been bumped into the other chapel as the other service is larger than ours despite us booking first.
This has caused a lot of distress in the family but I am relieved the service will go ahead at the same date & time in the other chapel as re-arranging is a nightmare.
The crematorium that screwed up seem to think it is just tough and they have no responsibility for it. I am furious at the situation and attitude but what can I do?
The crematorium is council owned/run which may go someway to explain the arrogant attitude.
Sadly my Mum passed away early last month so I have been arranging the funeral, the service was booked and time/date confirmed about 4 weeks ago. I got a call from the funeral directors earlier this week (funeral is tomorrow) who basically informed me of the double booking, as you can imagine this was unpleasant news!
The crematorium has 2 chapels and the one we chose was because my Dad's service was there and that is what my Mum wanted. From the various discussions between myself and the funeral directors and between the funeral directors and the crematorium we seem to have been bumped into the other chapel as the other service is larger than ours despite us booking first.
This has caused a lot of distress in the family but I am relieved the service will go ahead at the same date & time in the other chapel as re-arranging is a nightmare.
The crematorium that screwed up seem to think it is just tough and they have no responsibility for it. I am furious at the situation and attitude but what can I do?
The crematorium is council owned/run which may go someway to explain the arrogant attitude.
In the cold light of day , it would be a sensible decision to have the larger attendance in the bigger building .
Concentrate on a good send off , rather than the relatively small mistake, which in time will be long forgotten.
As an aside I was at a funeral at the local crematorium when the previous service ran over twenty minutes late and we were kept waiting in the cold outside , folk even left through the front door and stood talking whilst it was clear another service was being held up.
There was some serious words between the two funeral directors, it ended up with a refund of the crematorium fees which were eventually donated to charity.
It was a good send off though , that’s the main thing.
Concentrate on a good send off , rather than the relatively small mistake, which in time will be long forgotten.
As an aside I was at a funeral at the local crematorium when the previous service ran over twenty minutes late and we were kept waiting in the cold outside , folk even left through the front door and stood talking whilst it was clear another service was being held up.
There was some serious words between the two funeral directors, it ended up with a refund of the crematorium fees which were eventually donated to charity.
It was a good send off though , that’s the main thing.
Being pragmatic I can understand bigger service and bigger chapel but there are aspects of the other chapel that we don't like in relation to how the committal works hence choosing and booking the other one.
The bit that really annoys is their attitude, rather than explain the situation and discuss it they just change things with zero consultation i.e. a stuff you attitude. There has been no apology for this.
These are the sort of people you just don't tire of punching in the face but this is about my Mum and giving her a good send off.
The bit that really annoys is their attitude, rather than explain the situation and discuss it they just change things with zero consultation i.e. a stuff you attitude. There has been no apology for this.
These are the sort of people you just don't tire of punching in the face but this is about my Mum and giving her a good send off.
Sorry to hear this OP, not what you need at any time, let alone the day beforehand.
Practically speaking, probably little you can do before tomorrow to change things. It’s totally wrong, but you’ll probably have to suck it up, even though you totally shouldn’t have to.
Tomorrow should be all about remembering your Mum, try to park your ire and not let some f
kwit at the Council impede on you marking her passing in a dignified way, Then, when the dust has settled next week, kick off at the highest levels so that the fkwits in charge understand that this is not acceptable - a booking is a booking, they should honour it. Kick up some st on behalf of others who might get similarly fked over in future.
My condolences, for the loss of your Mum.
Practically speaking, probably little you can do before tomorrow to change things. It’s totally wrong, but you’ll probably have to suck it up, even though you totally shouldn’t have to.
Tomorrow should be all about remembering your Mum, try to park your ire and not let some f
kwit at the Council impede on you marking her passing in a dignified way, Then, when the dust has settled next week, kick off at the highest levels so that the fkwits in charge understand that this is not acceptable - a booking is a booking, they should honour it. Kick up some st on behalf of others who might get similarly fked over in future. My condolences, for the loss of your Mum.
I'd take the opposite view and postpone to get what you want, my Dad died 35 years ago, my Mum arranged a funeral, she died 9 months latter, I replicated my Dad's funeral, down to the coffin, which was what she wanted, I also followed her wishes in disposing, as all her personal things, most went to my sister, who sold them, I then had nothing of my mothers when my daughters were born, which still annoys me. But I get satisfaction from knowing I did exactly what my Mum wanted, If my Mum had wanted a particular Chapel I'd have held out for it, the.question is how will you feel in 30 years knowing you didn't do what she asked? It's a personal thing only you can answer, I know what my answer but not yours.
First of all, sorry for your loss. Its a stressful time and everything can become a bit much at times like this.
Are you sure you "booked" the particular chapel at the crematorium, or did you "request" it? My local crem made it clear that when i booked my father's send off that either of the two chapels would be used based on suitability/congregation size etc.
I don't think cancelling is really an option as people may well be travelling or have booked time off etc.
Are you sure you "booked" the particular chapel at the crematorium, or did you "request" it? My local crem made it clear that when i booked my father's send off that either of the two chapels would be used based on suitability/congregation size etc.
I don't think cancelling is really an option as people may well be travelling or have booked time off etc.
The correct chapel was booked, the funeral directors we are using are very careful. The crematorium staff read back the booking to confirm everything is correct. With regard to rebooking, it was such short notice i.e. a couple days that this has not been possible. I have no intention of letting this ride but will deal with after the service.
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