Does this constitute harassment?
Discussion
irocfan said:
CrossMember said:
Those poor kids, caught in the middle of this nonsense.
Sorry, can't advise anything useful except to maybe take a step back and try to see how utterly ridiculous the whole scenario is from an outsider's perspective.
this ^^^Sorry, can't advise anything useful except to maybe take a step back and try to see how utterly ridiculous the whole scenario is from an outsider's perspective.
Could she argue you might be able to track the devices, and by extension that would allow you to track her location when out with the kids?
How old are the kids? Without knowing all the facts, my initial thought is to leave the kids out of any disputes, do they really want to have to keep swapping phones every time they're with a different parent? Just agree to give them 1 phone, and also assume the other parent *might* read any messages.
How old are the kids? Without knowing all the facts, my initial thought is to leave the kids out of any disputes, do they really want to have to keep swapping phones every time they're with a different parent? Just agree to give them 1 phone, and also assume the other parent *might* read any messages.
I really don't think this is harassment or anywhere close. The devices and means of communication are irrelevant. There's only two things the Police would be interested in;
1) Their mother actively preventing or severely restricting you communicating with your children unless a court order existed to this effect.
2) The content of messages is deliberately inflammatory (in either direction)
1) Their mother actively preventing or severely restricting you communicating with your children unless a court order existed to this effect.
2) The content of messages is deliberately inflammatory (in either direction)
You don't say how old the kids are, but as they have apple devices and from everything else you say I'll assume they are in the younger end senior school. In which case the only thing that matters is what they want. At 12/13 they are old enough to have a voice in this themselves.
Also, don't (and this goes for your ex-wife as well) loose sight of how important their on line network is, or will become over the next couple of years.
It strikes me this isn't about the phones, but about at least one of the parents wanting to weaponise control of how the kids communicate with the other parent. It is an absolute PITA when parents start playing tug of war like this, but the kids _will_ notice and _will_ remember. In my direct experience (painful separation when they were 8 & 6, now "normal" adults and we have a good relationship) playing the long game pays massive dividends. It hurts at the time but every s
t sandwich you eat now is a fine rump steak when they are adults.
Also, don't (and this goes for your ex-wife as well) loose sight of how important their on line network is, or will become over the next couple of years.
It strikes me this isn't about the phones, but about at least one of the parents wanting to weaponise control of how the kids communicate with the other parent. It is an absolute PITA when parents start playing tug of war like this, but the kids _will_ notice and _will_ remember. In my direct experience (painful separation when they were 8 & 6, now "normal" adults and we have a good relationship) playing the long game pays massive dividends. It hurts at the time but every s
t sandwich you eat now is a fine rump steak when they are adults. I agree with others that the kids shouldn’t be being exposed to this.
However, my ex wife it batst and refuses to allow me to contact the kids, and would do all the stuff you mention in your OP. I would resolve things amicably tomorrow and expose the kids to nothing other than two parents who no longer live together but who jointly want to co parent in the best way they can.
Unfortunately, if the other parent won’t cooperate as I think is probably the case here, there is nothing the OP can do about it.
I have no idea what the pins are to my kids devices and no interest in finding out. Their Mum does, and I know the kids don’t communicate with me as they know she monitors everything. My son is 14, and scared to death to change the pin to one she wouldn’t know as he knows the fall out it would cause with her.
I feel for the OP, and can’t see how she could in anyway claim harassment
However, my ex wife it bats
t and refuses to allow me to contact the kids, and would do all the stuff you mention in your OP. I would resolve things amicably tomorrow and expose the kids to nothing other than two parents who no longer live together but who jointly want to co parent in the best way they can.Unfortunately, if the other parent won’t cooperate as I think is probably the case here, there is nothing the OP can do about it.
I have no idea what the pins are to my kids devices and no interest in finding out. Their Mum does, and I know the kids don’t communicate with me as they know she monitors everything. My son is 14, and scared to death to change the pin to one she wouldn’t know as he knows the fall out it would cause with her.
I feel for the OP, and can’t see how she could in anyway claim harassment
borcy said:
Just speak to them in anyway you can, landline, mobile etc.
The whole device explanation is some what confusing but what are you talking/messaging about that is such an issue?
If I understand it correctly its that the wife wants the devices to stay at the prospective parents homes. When the children come to him she will ring or contact them on the phones/ devices he bought them. When the kids are with her HE must ring them on the phones/devices she bought them.The whole device explanation is some what confusing but what are you talking/messaging about that is such an issue?
I suspect she is worried that his devices may be used to track where she takes the children or it may be that she doesn't want HIM to see any records of whatever calls or messages they may have made to third parties perhaps her new partner or other members of her side of the family.
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