School yard Bully, got me thinking

[996owner]

Took my young lad to school today (10 years old so primary school, he's quiet and like to just keep out the way and never in trouble)

Whilst stood in the yard waiting for the bell I saw i chubby little lad picking on another and lad, he smacked him a few times and called him a pussy... Lovely child.
Other lad just got out the way, when to his friend sand started crying. This really pissed me off.

I didn't say or do anything as I don't what my son picked on by said chubby child. I did hand round to make sure the lad got into view of a teacher (once bell went) and made my way out. Its been praying on my mind all day. If it was my son I'd hope that someone helped him out.

Not sure what I could really have done as I don't want my lad involved.
I'm obviously getting soft in my old age, but this really made me think that I should have done more.

why are people so bloody awful?

[eybic]

Kids can be bloody horrible, perhaps see if your lad knows his name and report it to reception after you've dropped him off one day? I've got a 5yo and dread to think how I'd feel if he was being bullied, absolutely awful

[JuniorD]

I can understand why you are upset about seeing this, kids can be cruel and watching someone impose themselves on someone who can't defend themselves is awful. That's why I have warned my 6 year old son not to harass or tease anyone.

I went to a really, really rough primary school and after quite a few fights my mum sent me to boxing and I didn't have any trouble after that. So my son has my permission to defend himself physically if he needs to. He knows how to throw a mean body punch and to retaliate hard and fast. I don't know if he has it in his psyche to do it, but if he does just once hopefully it should be the first and last time someone bullys him.

Edited by JuniorD on Thursday 21st November 15:24

[alfaspecial]

As we are approaching the season of goodwill, perhaps you need help from: BAD SANTA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=otwKbU_PBn4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qvdzOmt4vVc

[Four Litre]

Still goes on sadly and a lot of teachers do turn a blind eye. Be it being afraid of the parents of just accepting its a fact of life somewhat. or being just downright lazy.

I've always told my son to stick up for himself within reason and look out for others. My wife was called into school as there had been an 'incident!' Turned out the class bully had picked on his friend, he told him to stop, and was in turn pushed, he punched the bully who fell on the floor in full view of the teacher crying!

The school made out that this was a 'terrible incident' and that "we cant accept any form of violence". It turned out said bully has been hitting other kids, stabbed another in the back with a pencil and disrupts the class on a daily basis. All ignored by the teachers. When parents raise it the get out of jail card is always played with "we cannot discuss other pupils with others".

I thought about it for a while and didn't tell him off. Just figured he did what he had to do at the time and you need to stand up to bullies. Told him to avoid violence where possible and gave him an extra pound pocket money.

[996owner]

eybic said:

Kids can be bloody horrible, perhaps see if your lad knows his name and report it to reception after you've dropped him off one day? I've got a 5yo and dread to think how I'd feel if he was being bullied, absolutely awful

great Idea. I think i'll do that. cheers


cheers to every one else :-)

[996owner]

Four Litre said:

Still goes on sadly and a lot of teachers do turn a blind eye. Be it being afraid of the parents of just accepting its a fact of life somewhat. or being just downright lazy.

I've always told my son to stick up for himself within reason and look out for others.

We told our eldest that too,

I also advised the teachers after an incident that he's been told to defend himself especially as their bully policy was at best useless.

[Bussolini]

JuniorD said:

I can understand why you are upset about seeing this, kids can be cruel and watching someone impose themselves on someone who can't defend themselves is awful. That's why I have warned my 6 year old son not to harass or tease anyone.

I went to a really, really rough primary school and after quite a few fights my mum sent me to boxing and I didn't have any trouble after that. So my son has my permission to defend himself physically if he needs to. He knows how to throw a mean body punch and to retaliate hard and fast. I don't know if he has it in his psyche to do it, but if he does just once hopefully it should be the first and last time someone bullys him.

Edited by JuniorD on Thursday 21st November 15:24

This doesn't work. Kids that react get picked on even worse.

[JuniorD]

Bussolini said:

JuniorD said:

I can understand why you are upset about seeing this, kids can be cruel and watching someone impose themselves on someone who can't defend themselves is awful. That's why I have warned my 6 year old son not to harass or tease anyone.

I went to a really, really rough primary school and after quite a few fights my mum sent me to boxing and I didn't have any trouble after that. So my son has my permission to defend himself physically if he needs to. He knows how to throw a mean body punch and to retaliate hard and fast. I don't know if he has it in his psyche to do it, but if he does just once hopefully it should be the first and last time someone bullys him.

This doesn't work. Kids that react get picked on even worse.

My experience suggests otherwise. Will be interesting to hear what others have to say.

[Four Litre]

Bussolini said:

JuniorD said:

I can understand why you are upset about seeing this, kids can be cruel and watching someone impose themselves on someone who can't defend themselves is awful. That's why I have warned my 6 year old son not to harass or tease anyone.

I went to a really, really rough primary school and after quite a few fights my mum sent me to boxing and I didn't have any trouble after that. So my son has my permission to defend himself physically if he needs to. He knows how to throw a mean body punch and to retaliate hard and fast. I don't know if he has it in his psyche to do it, but if he does just once hopefully it should be the first and last time someone bullys him.

Edited by JuniorD on Thursday 21st November 15:24

This doesn't work. Kids that react get picked on even worse.

Depends what the reaction is - if its telling the teacher yes, or complaining etc. IMHO people who use physical violence to get their way only understand this method. As a kid being punched in the face is something you don't forget and a quick smack from somebody your not expecting it from can work wonders.

I've only been punched a few times in my life and I recall all of them quite vividly!!!!

I'm quite astonished at how teachers try to avoid acting properly when bullying is going on. It appears that a lot of the talk is just that. Actions are very limited. On a good point, schools seem to of calmed down a lot since I went. I was talking to my kids about what goes on and it seems relatively tame. In my day even the teachers would bully you!!!!

[CrunkleFloop]

JuniorD said:

Bussolini said:

JuniorD said:

I can understand why you are upset about seeing this, kids can be cruel and watching someone impose themselves on someone who can't defend themselves is awful. That's why I have warned my 6 year old son not to harass or tease anyone.

I went to a really, really rough primary school and after quite a few fights my mum sent me to boxing and I didn't have any trouble after that. So my son has my permission to defend himself physically if he needs to. He knows how to throw a mean body punch and to retaliate hard and fast. I don't know if he has it in his psyche to do it, but if he does just once hopefully it should be the first and last time someone bullys him.

This doesn't work. Kids that react get picked on even worse.

My experience suggests otherwise. Will be interesting to hear what others have to say.

It does work in my experience too. Being practically a midget at school I had to learn to defend myself more than once from bullying. Typically only in the first term of a new school year and I was never picked on more than once.

I would give a verbal warning first and if that failed a sudden physical retaliation usually sorted it.

It shouldn't have to be that way but kids can be cruel and sometimes it's the only way to get through. Ironically I ended up as quite good friends with some of these childhood skirmishes after the blows had been dealt and the peace was made.

[jagnet]

JuniorD said:

My experience suggests otherwise. Will be interesting to hear what others have to say.

It's the only time I've punched someone in anger and it worked wonders - I never got bullied by anyone in the school again. I'm not sure who was more surprised, him or me, but it was a valuable lesson learnt by the little st after years of bullying: stop picking on someone once they reach puberty.

[Hoofy]

Anonymous report on the school's web contact form?

[jakesmith]

jagnet said:

It's the only time I've punched someone in anger and it worked wonders - I never got bullied by anyone in the school again. I'm not sure who was more surprised, him or me, but it was a valuable lesson learnt by the little st after years of bullying: stop picking on someone once they reach puberty.

Me too actually, the only time I’ve ever punched someone, a miserable hit to the chin of a guy in the year above who had been bullying me. I Just got out and Chipped the guys tooth, he Suddenly changed and was all ‘you chipped my tooth’ I was like ‘yep’ the guy wanted to be my mate after that and no one bullied me again. Hadn’t given it any though since it happened but it did work at the time.

[stevemiller]

Had a similar incident when my lad was at school, the bully being the headmasters son. So I mentioned to the teacher and head if they were not able to stop this I would show my son some extreme violence to be used on said son, it stopped.

[Kernowlokal]

JuniorD said:

Bussolini said:

JuniorD said:

I can understand why you are upset about seeing this, kids can be cruel and watching someone impose themselves on someone who can't defend themselves is awful. That's why I have warned my 6 year old son not to harass or tease anyone.

I went to a really, really rough primary school and after quite a few fights my mum sent me to boxing and I didn't have any trouble after that. So my son has my permission to defend himself physically if he needs to. He knows how to throw a mean body punch and to retaliate hard and fast. I don't know if he has it in his psyche to do it, but if he does just once hopefully it should be the first and last time someone bullys him.

This doesn't work. Kids that react get picked on even worse.

My experience suggests otherwise. Will be interesting to hear what others have to say.

I got bullied on the bus on the way to school. Basically one of the older kids would give me dead legs or a beating every day or every couple of days. That was until I lost my temper and smacked him hard in the face. He never hit me again.

My oldest, nearly 5, left nursery over the summer, but there was a little brat there who would scratch him on a regular basis.My son warned the kid. He kept doing it, despite the nursery staff trying to stop the kid, so I told my son to whack him. My wife didn't like it, but I didn't like my son getting hurt and as I explained to my son, if the other kid kept hurting people, no one would like him, so stopping him from hurting people would actually be helping him. My son is very big for his age, but a gentle giant and didn't want to hit the brat, so I told him to push him away when he tried it again. Couple of days later, my wife told me that he had been told off at nursery for pushing the brat over. He didn't get scratched again.

[Mothersruin]

Four Litre said:

In my day even the teachers would bully you!!!!

...and most likely your parents would be on their side too.

Half the reason professionals don't do their job properly is they have to sit and be shouted at by the mouth-breathing parents of little Scumbo, fill in loads of paperwork, if it get's taken further, or risk being sacked as it's the easy option for the organisation.

[Gargamel]

These threads always fascinate me, even though the replies always follow the same pattern

What sticks out is no one ever says, I was bullied all the way through school by other kids and I still am (either at work or within the families)

Nor does anyone really talk about girls bullying.

Its all fists and fights.

[Benni]

I thought bullying was a tradition, like beasting and british bulldog ?

I had one nasty little guy in my school when about 7 or 8, once we got into a rumble on my way home with fists punching the air,

then he dicided to ram his head in my stomach like he saw it on TV, I landed a hook from below and was surprised to see red on my fist,

he was surprised by the amount of blood running out of his nose, ran away screaming that his 3 biig brothers would get me.

I changed my way home for a few weeks but nothing happened.

Later in school I avoided fights, mostly by pointing out how ridiculous the situation - or the would-be-opponent - was.

[jakesmith]

Gargamel said:

These threads always fascinate me, even though the replies always follow the same pattern

What sticks out is no one ever says, I was bullied all the way through school by other kids and I still am (either at work or within the families)

Nor does anyone really talk about girls bullying.

Its all fists and fights.

Do you have something you’d like to share ya fanny