Why don’t people say ‘died’ anymore?

[paulguitar]

My grandmother died a few days ago. She was 103, an almighty innings. She died. She did not ‘pass’.

What is the story with this, why does it seem impossible to say someone has died anymore?

[Butter Face]

https://instagram.com/theydidntdie?igshid=i7gldj5d...

You’ll like that.

Lots of people I speak to still say ‘died’ FWIW.

[patmahe]

It's a trigger word, can cause people who are grieving to break down. Less risky for the person sympathising to just say 'passed on', people feel very awkward in situations to do with death, it'd be funny if it wasn't so st.

Sorry about your Grandmother.

[ambuletz]

im guessing it shows a little sensitivity to the situation.

[loskie]

Blame Americans it's their fault.

Like speaking "with" people and not "to" them.

[ATG]

Firstly R.I.P. your grandmother.

"Pass" is indeed drivel. The acceptable euphemism is "run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisible."

[Cantaloupe]

Not my experience at all, the words Died, Dead, Death are in common usage when discussing dead people who have died a death.

PH thread with a flawed premise No. 45678456788.5

[paulguitar]

Cantaloupe said:

Not my experience at all, the words Died, Dead, Death are in common usage when discussing dead people who have died a death.

PH thread with a flawed premise No. 45678456788.5

Dumbass comment 1054 from Cantaloupe.

[pequod]

We all die eventually, so the past tense of 'die' is 'died' when someone passes away.

Whether or not this upsets the mourners is irrelevant as the deceased has lived a long life and hopefully enjoyed most of it.

I hate soppy funeral eulogies when a celebration of a life well, or otherwise, has been lived and there it is, over and gone, no regrets, too late, hope you enjoyed the journey!

Sympathies for your loss is in order, however celebrate her life.

[paulguitar]

Thanks for your thoughts, everyone.

Perhaps because I have mostly been in the USA for the last 18 years the reluctance to say ‘died’ is more pronounced here. Of course, they find it impossible to refer to a ’toilet’ as well, I mean seriously, WTAF is a ‘restroom’?!

Some amusing euphemisms in that Instagram collection, I particularly like 'Went to her appointment with the lord’.

[Riley Blue]

loskie said:

Blame Americans it's their fault.

Like speaking "with" people and not "to" them.

A conversation is two-way - well, mine are.

[Jimmy Recard]

loskie said:

Blame Americans it's their fault.

Like speaking "with" people and not "to" them.

Waiting “on” people rather than “for” them.

Unless you’re in the service of that person, you are not waiting “on” them

[g3org3y]

I remember when starting as a junior doctor, they advised us when a patient died and you were informing a relative, you should actually use the word 'died' for absolute clarity.

Apparently (given these were often v emotional situations with distressed people) there was sometimes confusion when clinicians were saying 'passed on/away' etc

[vaud]

My mother died last week.

Palliative care were very clear in their language to her and us... and since she died I have been using the word.

Especially important to small children, as "passing" and "going to sleep forever" and "gone away from us now" etc are massively confusing.

[vaud]

g3org3y said:

Apparently (given these were often v emotional situations with distressed people) there was sometimes confusion when clinicians were saying 'passed on/away' etc

As an aside, in safety critical environments they use clear language.

They say "walk to safe area A" rather than "do not run"

Apparently the brain at points of stress filters out the negation of "do not"... can also be seen in toddlers - they haven't got the language acquisition for negation and only hear the action... hence "do not climb on the cat" becomes "climb on the cat"

[Smiljan]

paulguitar said:

My grandmother died a few days ago. She was 103, an almighty innings. She died. She did not ‘pass’.

What is the story with this, why does it seem impossible to say someone has died anymore?

Nope everyone I know uses the word died not passed. Where do you live that its so prevalent?

[paulguitar]

Smiljan said:

Nope everyone I know uses the word died not passed. Where do you live that its so prevalent?

paulguitar said:

Perhaps because I have mostly been in the USA for the last 18 years

Maybe it is just an American thing. Seems very prevalent here.

[carlove]

When my Dad popped his clogs in 2018 we used the term 'died', I still do say my Dad 'died' when talking about him. The only exception is if I'm being silly and say something like 'popped his clogs'.
Despite the fact his death was sudden and distressing (cancer but diagnosed the day before he died), the word 'dead', 'died' or similar haven't triggered me, songs, memories and pictures do that, not the word 'dead'.

[Pothole]

I always do. No reason to be namby pamby

[Smiljan]

paulguitar said:

Maybe it is just an American thing. Seems very prevalent here.

Ah, explains things. As you were