Getting rid of a clingon nutter
Getting rid of a clingon nutter
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anonymous-user

Original Poster:

83 months

Friday 28th February 2020
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So this may be funny to some (and it is in a way, I get that) but it also quite serious.

A few years ago I met this chap whilst walking the dog. He seemed quite normal at the time, just putting up a fence and fussing the dog. Fast forward a bit and I can't get him to take the hint that I really can't be arsed spending any time in his company. The biggest reason is that he bullsts like no-one you have ever heard. He contradicts himself with what he said five minutes ago. Every conversation is the same biggrin

He bought this dog for "4K large", trained it to attack on command, bs bs bs. He hasnt got 4 quid, let alone 4000. Also women throw themselves at him all the time etc etc (he makes shrek look good, lets put it that way)

He reckons he is a dog trainer by trade (He is not, he is an unemployed person cum tealeaf, to put it politely). All the above I can cope with, just about. However he is now popping round asking for lifts left, right and centre. He even once tried to get me to give him and his latest (yes, latest, he changes them every six months or so) "attack dog" a round trip of eighty miles or so. When he has screwed the previously pleasent dog up, he has them put down or gives them to other unsuspecting people, which is in itself a risk.

One day I spotted him walking his dog with a stab vest on, pretending to be a "Police dog specialst". The other one was "The wife is dying, I need a lift to the hosptial, can you help". Turned out that was pure BS too.

Now you might me thinking to just tell him to jog on. The slight problem is that he is a proper mentalist. He has been inside for attempted murder (I legit checked it up and it is true) and has criminal convictions all over the shop, ABH etc. Add to that he is on some pretty hardcore anti-psyschotics that he actually frequently forgets to take.

If he gets the wrong idea it could get pretty nasty pretty quick.

I even went as far as blocking his number but he got a new one and it started all over again. I don't mind saying I am busy but I feel like I am being stalked a bit!

XCP

17,703 posts

257 months

Friday 28th February 2020
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Police.

anonymous-user

Original Poster:

83 months

Friday 28th February 2020
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Pinch his bum.

Road2Ruin

6,475 posts

245 months

Friday 28th February 2020
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Hammer a frozen sausage up his area! Am I doing this right?

KrazyIvan

4,341 posts

204 months

Friday 28th February 2020
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You know you could just be honest. And tell him he's a busllsting tt and you don't want to spend any more time with him.

PushedDover

7,504 posts

82 months

Friday 28th February 2020
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thread title disappoints.

I was expecting something akin to claggnuts

NoVetec

9,967 posts

202 months

Friday 28th February 2020
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Turn the clingon's dog into a klingon dog.



It'll scare him back onto his medication and hopefully away from ever owning a dog again.

V8covin

10,170 posts

222 months

Friday 28th February 2020
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Tell him you've got corona virus and need to self isolate for ......ever

Caddyshack

14,826 posts

235 months

Friday 28th February 2020
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That is a tricky one and can be quite scary, I am sure.

My neighbour comes round several times a week, he is harmless, recent things have been his ufo sightings which actually did seem to be stars moving when I bothered to stand and watch with him but a quick google solved that, he now thinks they are watching him and if he waves at them the zoom off.

He also has cctv everywhere as he thinks someone has being going in to his garden every night for 20 years....but he can’t catch him on camera.

Your nutter seems to want things from you and has a scary past, I am not sure how you deal with that, it may need a psychiatrist to tell you how to handle his mind set.

I wonder if telling him that you are being watched by the police or rspca and need to keep a low profile may talk to him on his wave length?

anonymous-user

Original Poster:

83 months

Friday 28th February 2020
quotequote all
Caddyshack said:
That is a tricky one and can be quite scary, I am sure.

My neighbour comes round several times a week, he is harmless, recent things have been his ufo sightings which actually did seem to be stars moving when I bothered to stand and watch with him but a quick google solved that, he now thinks they are watching him and if he waves at them the zoom off.

He also has cctv everywhere as he thinks someone has being going in to his garden every night for 20 years....but he can’t catch him on camera.

Your nutter seems to want things from you and has a scary past, I am not sure how you deal with that, it may need a psychiatrist to tell you how to handle his mind set.

I wonder if telling him that you are being watched by the police or rspca and need to keep a low profile may talk to him on his wave length?
Don't laugh but... another dog he purchased he needed to get rid of it as it had been a present for his mrs and she hated it so he rang up the RSPCA and they said "Not our issue" and he started screaming and shouting about not donating to them anymore. Issue is, he never donated anyway...

Caddyshack

14,826 posts

235 months

Friday 28th February 2020
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ChocyLint1 said:
Caddyshack said:
That is a tricky one and can be quite scary, I am sure.

My neighbour comes round several times a week, he is harmless, recent things have been his ufo sightings which actually did seem to be stars moving when I bothered to stand and watch with him but a quick google solved that, he now thinks they are watching him and if he waves at them the zoom off.

He also has cctv everywhere as he thinks someone has being going in to his garden every night for 20 years....but he can’t catch him on camera.

Your nutter seems to want things from you and has a scary past, I am not sure how you deal with that, it may need a psychiatrist to tell you how to handle his mind set.

I wonder if telling him that you are being watched by the police or rspca and need to keep a low profile may talk to him on his wave length?
Don't laugh but... another dog he purchased he needed to get rid of it as it had been a present for his mrs and she hated it so he rang up the RSPCA and they said "Not our issue" and he started screaming and shouting about not donating to them anymore. Issue is, he never donated anyway...
He is a proper nut job.

There was one at the local pub and when he was ejected I was sitting outside, he screamed "you will be hearing from my lawyer in the morning", I couldn’t help myself and asked him who his lawyer was and he just had a blank face and then walked off.

Europa1

10,923 posts

217 months

Friday 28th February 2020
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OP, I'm with XCP on this one - go and talk to the local Police, as this guy seems to be flaky, to say the least. I wouldn't want to spend time in his company, given what you say.

anonymous-user

Original Poster:

83 months

Friday 28th February 2020
quotequote all
I think a discrete word with Police will at least let me know whats going on. Dont think its a 101 issue but will pop down and ask in person.

Oh and leasonn learned is just ignore everyone when walking the dog!

OriginalFDM

402 posts

104 months

Friday 28th February 2020
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Reading this forum never fails to remind me how fking boring my life is!!

ChocolateFrog

34,954 posts

202 months

Friday 28th February 2020
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Next time he knocks on the door stab him in the neck. Say he's been stalking you for ages and lunged at you shouting he was going to kill you, I imagine with his past that would be reasonable believable, take a picture off the wall near need the door and say you had the screwdriver in your hand as you were putting it when he knocked.

Problem solved.

PS Other methods of resolution are available.

Frank7

6,619 posts

116 months

Friday 28th February 2020
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4K large intrigued me, that’s a lot of dough, that’s got to be some dog!
4K is 4000, and 1 large is 1000, so 4000 x 1000 is 4,000,000, no wonder you say he’s a bullstter!

Easternlight

3,927 posts

173 months

Friday 28th February 2020
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[quote=ChocyLint1

I even went as far as blocking his number but he got a new one and it started all over again. I don't mind saying I am busy but I feel like I am being stalked a bit!
[/quote]
Why would you give this person your number once let alone twice?
And where does Klingon come into it?
Just tell him today is a good day for him to die.
nutter naDevvo' SoH

anonymous-user

Original Poster:

83 months

Friday 28th February 2020
quotequote all
Easternlight said:
Why would you give this person your number once let alone twice?
And where does Klingon come into it?
Just tell him today is a good day for him to die.
nutter naDevvo' SoH
I think you misunderstsand. He had it once, so I blocked his calling me using my mobile phone settings. He changed his number so at that point the new number wasnt blocked. It is now biggrin

anonymous-user

Original Poster:

83 months

Friday 28th February 2020
quotequote all
I think everyone knows a Billy bullstter that hasn't got two pennies to rub together.

One is my 'mate' - I say that as I've known him from school and we used to go drinking a lot but I realised I had nothing in common with him and his stories were getting more and more fanciful.

His latest one was supposedly being "the boss" at an estate agency. He said he was "instantly promoted" and now earns "60 grand a year" as one of the main agents. Now I've known him for a while and know he's a bit thick but never thought anything of it, it's only an estate agents job. Looked up the company website, there he is photo and everything: everyone in suits, apart from him wearing a fleece and the job title of 'Property Handyman' with illustrious roles of changing light bulbs and sweeping floors of the rentals.

Apparently he's getting a company car now, a BMW, in place of his Fiesta van..

StevieBee

15,318 posts

284 months

Friday 28th February 2020
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Not this fella is it?