What was the first thing anyone said to you?

[Wacky Racer]

Apparently, (According to my mum) when I was born, I was screaming for a feed and the midwife said "You've got to learn to wait for things in this life"

It's a nice story, but I bet she really said "Blimey what an ugly c***t"

[SimonTheSailor]

"That's the most perfectly formed beautiful baby I have ever seen in all my 40 years of being a midwife. He's just so perfect, really perfect. Beautiful !"

[Dr Jekyll]

Probably something like 'Gadzooks'.

[rowley birkin]

"That's not an umbilical cord..."

[StanleyT]

"it is a girl".

[Magooagain]

That's not my baby!

[alorotom]

True story ... “He’s been like a parasite in you”

[TorqueDirty]

"Get off my tits you dirty little bd"

Some things never change.

[Monkeylegend]

Oh that stinks.

[The Moose]

I know an OB here in the US who delivered twins a few years ago. Married, white parents. First kid came out and was white. Second kid came out super dark. Turned out she had been seeing 2 guys at the same time - one white, one black and each guy had fathered one kid.

I bet that first conversation was interesting!

[Zoobeef]

"Its OK, they bounce"

[Johnspex]

Not to me but about me to my Mum " I'm sorry Mrs Spex, we've lost him".
I was a blue baby and they wrapped me up as a stillborn.

Edited by Johnspex on Tuesday 14th April 21:34

[Big-Bo-Beep]

The Moose said:

I know an OB here in the US who delivered twins a few years ago. Married, white parents. First kid came out and was white. Second kid came out super dark. Turned out she had been seeing 2 guys at the same time - one white, one black and each guy had fathered one kid.

I bet that first conversation was interesting!

Is there a reproductive endocrinologist in da house ?
I doubt that one ova can be fertilised by two men's sperm.

[Esceptico]

Big-Bo-Beep said:

The Moose said:

I know an OB here in the US who delivered twins a few years ago. Married, white parents. First kid came out and was white. Second kid came out super dark. Turned out she had been seeing 2 guys at the same time - one white, one black and each guy had fathered one kid.

I bet that first conversation was interesting!

Is there a reproductive endocrinologist in da house ?
I doubt that one ova can be fertilised by two men's sperm.

Seems it has happened. It is called
Heteropaternal superfecundation. Women can release more than one egg and sperm can live for up to six days in the uterus so a woman sleeping with two men in the same time period could conceive with both. However I believe there are also cases where twins are born with one white and one black even to white patents (where there was a black grandparent or great grandparent).

[anonymous-user]

No idea, can't ask now either

[T6 vanman]

The technical term is Dizygotic twins,
Same time of the month … two eggs released and both fertilised

Of course … More unusual for the sperm to be from 2 differing donation sources




Twin

[J4CKO]

When one of mine was born a nursing auxiliary was cooing over him and said in a broad Irish accent "Ahh, but dont they look almost human".

[MikeT66]

Probably "Ah st - it's a ginger."... though cannot confirm as both (non-ginger) parents are now among the dearly departed.

[SpudLink]

anonymous said:

[redacted]

Funny you should say that.

Apparently when I was born they whisked me off to be processed (1969s NHS didn’t think it was a priority to show me to my mum). When I was returned my mum said “but that is not my baby, he’s the wrong colour”.
Dark skinned babies don’t always show their pigmentation for a couple of days. As a young mother who’d arrived here as a teenager, no one had explained that to her.

[RDMcG]

I think of Rodney Dangerfield:

When I was born I was such an ugly baby that the doctor slapped my mother.