Do former bullies regret their actions?
Discussion
Based on some of the 
s that both me and my OH have encountered in the corporate world I'd say they're born like that, will die like that and couldn't give a flying fk about the effect it has on anyone else. Also, based on my observations, they're typically the ones that get the promotions at work, the recognition, the fat pay packets, the beautiful wife and children, the big house and the flashy car, so they feel that their actions are the correct ones. In fact, their actions are the correct ones for anyone who can sleep soundly at night despite making others' lives a misery, 'cause it clearly pays dividends.
s that both me and my OH have encountered in the corporate world I'd say they're born like that, will die like that and couldn't give a flying fk about the effect it has on anyone else. Also, based on my observations, they're typically the ones that get the promotions at work, the recognition, the fat pay packets, the beautiful wife and children, the big house and the flashy car, so they feel that their actions are the correct ones. In fact, their actions are the correct ones for anyone who can sleep soundly at night despite making others' lives a misery, 'cause it clearly pays dividends.MitchT said:
Based on some of the s that both me and my OH have encountered in the corporate world I'd say they're born like that, will die like that and couldn't give a flying fk about the effect it has on anyone else. Also, based on my observations, they're typically the ones that get the promotions at work, the recognition, the fat pay packets, the beautiful wife and children, the big house and the flashy car, so they feel that their actions are the correct ones. In fact, their actions are the correct ones for anyone who can sleep soundly at night despite making others' lives a misery, 'cause it clearly pays dividends.
+1s that both me and my OH have encountered in the corporate world I'd say they're born like that, will die like that and couldn't give a flying fk about the effect it has on anyone else. Also, based on my observations, they're typically the ones that get the promotions at work, the recognition, the fat pay packets, the beautiful wife and children, the big house and the flashy car, so they feel that their actions are the correct ones. In fact, their actions are the correct ones for anyone who can sleep soundly at night despite making others' lives a misery, 'cause it clearly pays dividends.There are bullies and there are sociopaths
One will inflict physical violence and the other will take your trousers down in business and still sleep well at night.
One will inflict physical violence and the other will take your trousers down in business and still sleep well at night.
Dr Jekyll said:
MitchT said:
Based on some of the s that both me and my OH have encountered in the corporate world I'd say they're born like that, will die like that and couldn't give a flying fk about the effect it has on anyone else. Also, based on my observations, they're typically the ones that get the promotions at work, the recognition, the fat pay packets, the beautiful wife and children, the big house and the flashy car, so they feel that their actions are the correct ones. In fact, their actions are the correct ones for anyone who can sleep soundly at night despite making others' lives a misery, 'cause it clearly pays dividends.
+1s that both me and my OH have encountered in the corporate world I'd say they're born like that, will die like that and couldn't give a flying fk about the effect it has on anyone else. Also, based on my observations, they're typically the ones that get the promotions at work, the recognition, the fat pay packets, the beautiful wife and children, the big house and the flashy car, so they feel that their actions are the correct ones. In fact, their actions are the correct ones for anyone who can sleep soundly at night despite making others' lives a misery, 'cause it clearly pays dividends.MitchT said:
Based on some of the s that both me and my OH have encountered in the corporate world I'd say they're born like that, will die like that and couldn't give a flying fk about the effect it has on anyone else. Also, based on my observations, they're typically the ones that get the promotions at work, the recognition, the fat pay packets, the beautiful wife and children, the big house and the flashy car, so they feel that their actions are the correct ones. In fact, their actions are the correct ones for anyone who can sleep soundly at night despite making others' lives a misery, 'cause it clearly pays dividends.
Being successful does not equal being a bully. s that both me and my OH have encountered in the corporate world I'd say they're born like that, will die like that and couldn't give a flying fk about the effect it has on anyone else. Also, based on my observations, they're typically the ones that get the promotions at work, the recognition, the fat pay packets, the beautiful wife and children, the big house and the flashy car, so they feel that their actions are the correct ones. In fact, their actions are the correct ones for anyone who can sleep soundly at night despite making others' lives a misery, 'cause it clearly pays dividends.Being able to advance in your career is always at the detriment to other people - that doesn’t make someone a bully
It just highlights that the successful person is a better fit / more qualified / more experienced / more suitable to the hirer than the competition
alorotom said:
Being successful does not equal being a bully.
Being able to advance in your career is always at the detriment to other people - that doesn’t make someone a bully
It just highlights that the successful person is a better fit / more qualified / more experienced / more suitable to the hirer than the competition
At the detriment of others? Crap. Often advancement is due to the individual training up others to do their own job and seeking new challenges. Hardly a bully.Being able to advance in your career is always at the detriment to other people - that doesn’t make someone a bully
It just highlights that the successful person is a better fit / more qualified / more experienced / more suitable to the hirer than the competition
You must've worked for some backward companies that do not support staff development or have poor hiring practice.
What you say may be the experience of many firms, but its not a path to success if the firms main asset is the people. What you say leads us directly to positive discrimination and rejection of meritocracy.
The ones I know or did know have gone from fk tards to properly serious crime
5 I for some odd reason recalled all 5 have done prison since all more than once.
One turned his hand to ripping off vulnerable OAPs with new roofs wrecking the roof and forcing money out of them.
Two turned from weed then Charlie in school to much more and involved with selling it. All caught and jail time but the pics in the newspaper 10 + years since at the time I’d last seen them they looked utterly fked like they were on methamphetamine / crystal.
Not one I know has turned out normal average or done well all fked up.
To add these 5 all had major issues at home with parents. So as always it’s without question driven by woeful parenting and utterly avoidable.
k tards to properly serious crime 5 I for some odd reason recalled all 5 have done prison since all more than once.
One turned his hand to ripping off vulnerable OAPs with new roofs wrecking the roof and forcing money out of them.
Two turned from weed then Charlie in school to much more and involved with selling it. All caught and jail time but the pics in the newspaper 10 + years since at the time I’d last seen them they looked utterly f
ked like they were on methamphetamine / crystal. Not one I know has turned out normal average or done well all f
ked up. To add these 5 all had major issues at home with parents. So as always it’s without question driven by woeful parenting and utterly avoidable.
alorotom said:
Being successful does not equal being a bully.
I didn't say it did.alorotom said:
Being able to advance in your career is always at the detriment to other people - that doesn’t make someone a bully
It does if part of advancing your career involves derailing the careers of other people who deserve the advancement more. This is what both myself and my OH have witnessed and, in particular, my OH has been subjected to.alorotom said:
It just highlights that the successful person is a better fit / more qualified / more experienced / more suitable to the hirer than the competition
Not if they only get on by being highly adept at brownnosing and self-promotion while doing nothing of any actual value and systematically dismantling the reputations of those who are actually a better fit / more qualified / more experienced and more suitable for advancement. Again, what both myself and my OH have witnessed and what my OH has been directly subjected to.But, as I said earlier, if people can behave like this and not feel remotely bad about it, then clearly it's the right strategy for them.
I like to think so, find my comments in the bullying thread if you can be arsed. Basically I was a . I'd like to think I'm less of a now. Could wright alot more but that basically sums it up. Pleased to say I turned my back on my previous associates and bad habits and am making a successful career out of my hobby.
. I'd like to think I'm less of a now. Could wright alot more but that basically sums it up. Pleased to say I turned my back on my previous associates and bad habits and am making a successful career out of my hobby. Backstabbing, derailing the advancement of others through underhand tactics etc would not usually be bullying but other selfish and devious behaviour. Having said that, I also agree that many, though only a minority, of the extremely rich magnates are bullies, eg Alan Sugar, Philip Green.
Regarding bullies in general, I don't think they change unless they come across an even bigger bully. Given the mix of backgrounds, opportunities and education, majority of bullies will end up in a council estate, some will end up in middle management, and others in senior management/at the top, but I don't believe they will ever change their ways or see their flaws.
I have no idea what's happened to the bullies at my school; I lost interest in them as soon as I was off to university. Several of those deemed to be geeks are in highly respected positions in public and private establishments though.
Regarding bullies in general, I don't think they change unless they come across an even bigger bully. Given the mix of backgrounds, opportunities and education, majority of bullies will end up in a council estate, some will end up in middle management, and others in senior management/at the top, but I don't believe they will ever change their ways or see their flaws.
I have no idea what's happened to the bullies at my school; I lost interest in them as soon as I was off to university. Several of those deemed to be geeks are in highly respected positions in public and private establishments though.
Suggesting a bully might regret their actions is to misunderstand bullies.
In some ways it's similar to these people who have littered beaches in the past few weeks or don't clean up after their dogs, or drive too fast through villages or perform various other ant-social acts. They all have one common trait. They are pond life, they are scum. Bullies need to be left in the care of some real hard men to find out what it's like to be bullied.
In some ways it's similar to these people who have littered beaches in the past few weeks or don't clean up after their dogs, or drive too fast through villages or perform various other ant-social acts. They all have one common trait. They are pond life, they are scum. Bullies need to be left in the care of some real hard men to find out what it's like to be bullied.
whitesocks said:
As the title says, have you ever had a former school bully apologise for there actions? Or have they remained the same bds well into adulthood?
Yep.ds well into adulthood? A boy I used to go to school with, quite short, I will not give his name for obvious reasons. Was part of a group of 3 boys.
They were not general bullies, but they loved to pick on me. Unfortunately we did not have much money as a kid
so they used to make fun of the fact that my school uniform was second hand and not quite right (for a while I wore a girl's school blazer because it was the only thing that was cheap - the buttons are on the other side so you can tell at a second glance). Plus I was a quiet ethnic minority kid which didn't help my case 
Kids can be very cruel at that age.Most days they took either my lunch money or my sandwiches, when I went home my mum would ask me if I had lunch and I would just say yes.
Around 10 - 12 years later, I was at the train station and someone called to me, it was him. He asked a couple of questions to identify me. The next thing he said was "listen, I want to apologise for being so horrible to you at school". He clearly meant it and it had clearly been in his head for all those years. He wanted to keep talking about it but I said, don't worry, it was a long time ago and I'd forgotten all about it, now I have to get home so good to meet you and good luck. Which was true.
He insisted on exchanging numbers and then meeting up. I gave him a made up mobile number and told him to call me whenever he wanted. I didn't bear him any grudges but I didn't want to keep in touch either, I saw no benefit to it.
No idea what he is like today. I rather suspect that he has grown out of it. There are different types of bullies. For some it becomes a way of life, for others it's something that they eventually grow out of. Depends on which path their life takes and on how self-aware they are.
So it does happen.
AmitG said:
Yep.
A boy I used to go to school with, quite short, I will not give his name for obvious reasons. Was part of a group of 3 boys.
They were not general bullies, but they loved to pick on me. Unfortunately we did not have much money as a kid so they used to make fun of the fact that my school uniform was second hand and not quite right (for a while I wore a girl's school blazer because it was the only thing that was cheap - the buttons are on the other side so you can tell at a second glance). Plus I was a quiet ethnic minority kid which didn't help my case Kids can be very cruel at that age.
Most days they took either my lunch money or my sandwiches, when I went home my mum would ask me if I had lunch and I would just say yes.
Around 10 - 12 years later, I was at the train station and someone called to me, it was him. He asked a couple of questions to identify me. The next thing he said was "listen, I want to apologise for being so horrible to you at school". He clearly meant it and it had clearly been in his head for all those years. He wanted to keep talking about it but I said, don't worry, it was a long time ago and I'd forgotten all about it, now I have to get home so good to meet you and good luck. Which was true.
He insisted on exchanging numbers and then meeting up. I gave him a made up mobile number and told him to call me whenever he wanted. I didn't bear him any grudges but I didn't want to keep in touch either, I saw no benefit to it.
No idea what he is like today. I rather suspect that he has grown out of it. There are different types of bullies. For some it becomes a way of life, for others it's something that they eventually grow out of. Depends on which path their life takes and on how self-aware they are.
So it does happen.
The main ringleader of the group who bullied me in school, didn't seem to recognise who I was when I bumped into him a couple of years back. Even though he made life hell for me.A boy I used to go to school with, quite short, I will not give his name for obvious reasons. Was part of a group of 3 boys.
They were not general bullies, but they loved to pick on me. Unfortunately we did not have much money as a kid
so they used to make fun of the fact that my school uniform was second hand and not quite right (for a while I wore a girl's school blazer because it was the only thing that was cheap - the buttons are on the other side so you can tell at a second glance). Plus I was a quiet ethnic minority kid which didn't help my case Kids can be very cruel at that age.Most days they took either my lunch money or my sandwiches, when I went home my mum would ask me if I had lunch and I would just say yes.
Around 10 - 12 years later, I was at the train station and someone called to me, it was him. He asked a couple of questions to identify me. The next thing he said was "listen, I want to apologise for being so horrible to you at school". He clearly meant it and it had clearly been in his head for all those years. He wanted to keep talking about it but I said, don't worry, it was a long time ago and I'd forgotten all about it, now I have to get home so good to meet you and good luck. Which was true.
He insisted on exchanging numbers and then meeting up. I gave him a made up mobile number and told him to call me whenever he wanted. I didn't bear him any grudges but I didn't want to keep in touch either, I saw no benefit to it.
No idea what he is like today. I rather suspect that he has grown out of it. There are different types of bullies. For some it becomes a way of life, for others it's something that they eventually grow out of. Depends on which path their life takes and on how self-aware they are.
So it does happen.
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