Does anyone else feel like they want to belong to something?
Discussion
Does anyone else feel like they would like to be a part of something meaningful? I used to row competitively at uni and was part of a tight team. Then I was part of another sports team and it was similar.
These days I have a decent job but I don’t feel any great attachment or kinship with my colleagues (they are all pleasant). Nor do I really care about the job on a deeper level; it’s very corporate and a lot of it is a bit pointless or done in an inefficient way really.
I miss doing something that matters and I just wondered if anyone else felt like this?
These days I have a decent job but I don’t feel any great attachment or kinship with my colleagues (they are all pleasant). Nor do I really care about the job on a deeper level; it’s very corporate and a lot of it is a bit pointless or done in an inefficient way really.
I miss doing something that matters and I just wondered if anyone else felt like this?
I've never really found life satisfaction from my work, although that would be ideal I guess. It's always been the source of money to do other stuff. I suspect you're talking about the other stuff, or lack of it.
You have to go looking. We found a life drawing group with a good social scene attached, and it was a very liberal group as you might imagine. In the few months pre-covid we adopted an open decks night where you can go along and spin a vinyl set, and that also turned out to be a fun little community. You can argue about whether these things really provide meaning to life, but I'm not so sure about meaning. I want just want to have a good time.
You have to go looking. We found a life drawing group with a good social scene attached, and it was a very liberal group as you might imagine. In the few months pre-covid we adopted an open decks night where you can go along and spin a vinyl set, and that also turned out to be a fun little community. You can argue about whether these things really provide meaning to life, but I'm not so sure about meaning. I want just want to have a good time.
I never actively set out to achieve that 'status' as it were but I've gradually become part of a close nit core in my boxing club.
Im 47 and one of the more ahem 'senior' members. That said with determination I'm actually amongst the fittest.
Ive learnt so much about myself, what can be achieved and the massive positive benefits of being in shape
Ive got a good sense of belonging there and feel pleased to be gaining the respect of others I hold in high regard.
Im 47 and one of the more ahem 'senior' members. That said with determination I'm actually amongst the fittest.
Ive learnt so much about myself, what can be achieved and the massive positive benefits of being in shape
Ive got a good sense of belonging there and feel pleased to be gaining the respect of others I hold in high regard.
My issue is, as Marx said, why would I want to join a club that would have me as a member?
For a long time though, I did find meaning at work - but COVID has stopped that (aviation). Sounds odd, but I really did find purpose in getting people from A to B quickly and safely.
For a long time though, I did find meaning at work - but COVID has stopped that (aviation). Sounds odd, but I really did find purpose in getting people from A to B quickly and safely.
Edited by wisbech on Wednesday 29th July 03:49
lord trumpton said:
I never actively set out to achieve that 'status' as it were but I've gradually become part of a close nit core in my boxing club.
Im 47 and one of the more ahem 'senior' members. That said with determination I'm actually amongst the fittest.
Ive learnt so much about myself, what can be achieved and the massive positive benefits of being in shape
Ive got a good sense of belonging there and feel pleased to be gaining the respect of others I hold in high regard.
I did quite a bit of boxing in my twenties, in and out of the Army.Im 47 and one of the more ahem 'senior' members. That said with determination I'm actually amongst the fittest.
Ive learnt so much about myself, what can be achieved and the massive positive benefits of being in shape
Ive got a good sense of belonging there and feel pleased to be gaining the respect of others I hold in high regard.
It takes a lot of courage to step into the ring, and yes you learn a lot about yourself.
We always had a saying in the team I was in. Only Knobbers that haven’t the balls to compete will belittle you for boxing.
It’s something that I find true in other areas of life as well.
Massive respect to you, I’m two years older and in good shape, but I couldn’t go back to it now.
StuntmanMike said:
lord trumpton said:
I never actively set out to achieve that 'status' as it were but I've gradually become part of a close nit core in my boxing club.
Im 47 and one of the more ahem 'senior' members. That said with determination I'm actually amongst the fittest.
Ive learnt so much about myself, what can be achieved and the massive positive benefits of being in shape
Ive got a good sense of belonging there and feel pleased to be gaining the respect of others I hold in high regard.
I did quite a bit of boxing in my twenties, in and out of the Army.Im 47 and one of the more ahem 'senior' members. That said with determination I'm actually amongst the fittest.
Ive learnt so much about myself, what can be achieved and the massive positive benefits of being in shape
Ive got a good sense of belonging there and feel pleased to be gaining the respect of others I hold in high regard.
It takes a lot of courage to step into the ring, and yes you learn a lot about yourself.
We always had a saying in the team I was in. Only Knobbers that haven’t the balls to compete will belittle you for boxing.
It’s something that I find true in other areas of life as well.
Massive respect to you, I’m two years older and in good shape, but I couldn’t go back to it now.
I have huge respect for the forces and wished Id seen the appeal when younger really. I honestly think national service would be a great thing.
Boxing has also helped my cope with coming to terms with age and mortality. It gives a sense of vigour and reassurance that I still 'can do' as it were.
So OP - back to you as its your thread and not about me....
Id suggest picking something thats always interested you in whatever form, join the club/forum/group or whatever and get stuck in!
For seven years I was involved with a Community Radio station. Great fun, very engaging and interesting. Met some wonderfully mad and diverse people.
Problem with such groups though is it's like standing near a helicopter; sooner or later, you're going to get sucked into a rota. Being a voluntary thing, there is also the issue that those with sufficient capacity and competency to properly run such things seldom have the time to do so and those with the time lack the capacity and competency. I broke the mould and ended up running the station; rather successfully but was a major ball ache and took the shine off what was an otherwise interesting and enjoyable time.
Once I'd secured the long term future for the station (by negotiating a collaboration with Radio Caroline) I stepped away. The incoming management team decided that they didn't need Radio Caroline or their money.
The station closed down two years ago.
This pissed me off because the years I'd spent previously bringing everything in order and creating a great little station with an exciting future was completely wasted.
This has tainted my view of clubs and groups. It shouldn't do, I know. I keep toying with the idea of joining a photography club but am put off by the ideal of joining a 'club'.
Problem with such groups though is it's like standing near a helicopter; sooner or later, you're going to get sucked into a rota. Being a voluntary thing, there is also the issue that those with sufficient capacity and competency to properly run such things seldom have the time to do so and those with the time lack the capacity and competency. I broke the mould and ended up running the station; rather successfully but was a major ball ache and took the shine off what was an otherwise interesting and enjoyable time.
Once I'd secured the long term future for the station (by negotiating a collaboration with Radio Caroline) I stepped away. The incoming management team decided that they didn't need Radio Caroline or their money.
The station closed down two years ago.
This pissed me off because the years I'd spent previously bringing everything in order and creating a great little station with an exciting future was completely wasted.
This has tainted my view of clubs and groups. It shouldn't do, I know. I keep toying with the idea of joining a photography club but am put off by the ideal of joining a 'club'.
I've always admired people with faith, in particular in relation to religion - I'm agnostic and think how we've used religion is pretty abhorrent. But I do admire people who can just believe in something so strongly/blindly.
I have flirted with Buddhism/Taoism over the years because I have a strong moral construct and believe in treating others how you'd want to be treated so elements of those belief systems resonate. Recently I had to kill a rat (long story, mercy killing a wild rat) and it was quite profound and made me consider delving deeper into those faith systems - perhaps a need for a sense of belonging, but more I think for guidance. I love all animals but I eat meat (massive carnivore), which is difficult to balance.
I did a bike trip last year with a vicar, it was interesting to hear his views and he was open/accepting of my stance, and to me that is an example of true faith, he believed without a need to try and 'convert'.
The vast majority of the time though, I'm happy not to 'belong' to anything - lockdown has been brilliant for me/partner/dogs and that is pretty much all I need (perhaps that is my belonging).
I have flirted with Buddhism/Taoism over the years because I have a strong moral construct and believe in treating others how you'd want to be treated so elements of those belief systems resonate. Recently I had to kill a rat (long story, mercy killing a wild rat) and it was quite profound and made me consider delving deeper into those faith systems - perhaps a need for a sense of belonging, but more I think for guidance. I love all animals but I eat meat (massive carnivore), which is difficult to balance.
I did a bike trip last year with a vicar, it was interesting to hear his views and he was open/accepting of my stance, and to me that is an example of true faith, he believed without a need to try and 'convert'.
The vast majority of the time though, I'm happy not to 'belong' to anything - lockdown has been brilliant for me/partner/dogs and that is pretty much all I need (perhaps that is my belonging).
StevieBee said:
For seven years I was involved with a Community Radio station. Great fun, very engaging and interesting. Met some wonderfully mad and diverse people.
Problem with such groups though is it's like standing near a helicopter; sooner or later, you're going to get sucked into a rota. Being a voluntary thing, there is also the issue that those with sufficient capacity and competency to properly run such things seldom have the time to do so and those with the time lack the capacity and competency. I broke the mould and ended up running the station; rather successfully but was a major ball ache and took the shine off what was an otherwise interesting and enjoyable time.
Once I'd secured the long term future for the station (by negotiating a collaboration with Radio Caroline) I stepped away. The incoming management team decided that they didn't need Radio Caroline or their money.
The station closed down two years ago.
This pissed me off because the years I'd spent previously bringing everything in order and creating a great little station with an exciting future was completely wasted.
This has tainted my view of clubs and groups. It shouldn't do, I know. I keep toying with the idea of joining a photography club but am put off by the ideal of joining a 'club'.
Paaaa! Superb. Stolen, tagged and shelved for future use. Problem with such groups though is it's like standing near a helicopter; sooner or later, you're going to get sucked into a rota. Being a voluntary thing, there is also the issue that those with sufficient capacity and competency to properly run such things seldom have the time to do so and those with the time lack the capacity and competency. I broke the mould and ended up running the station; rather successfully but was a major ball ache and took the shine off what was an otherwise interesting and enjoyable time.
Once I'd secured the long term future for the station (by negotiating a collaboration with Radio Caroline) I stepped away. The incoming management team decided that they didn't need Radio Caroline or their money.
The station closed down two years ago.
This pissed me off because the years I'd spent previously bringing everything in order and creating a great little station with an exciting future was completely wasted.
This has tainted my view of clubs and groups. It shouldn't do, I know. I keep toying with the idea of joining a photography club but am put off by the ideal of joining a 'club'.
No. I can only assume I'm one of the 'outliers' as mentioned earlier in the thread.
I don't enjoy any kind of team sports or team/group activities. If I can't make the decisions and carry out the tasks myself, in the manner I want to carry them out in, then I don't want to play
In the past, when I have been 'forced' to take part in team activities (School sports, corporate team building etc) I would just hang back and let everyone else do what they wanted without really getting involved.
My parents used to send me to a few different after-school and weekend clubs for kids that were apparently 'fun' but I hated it. I would rather be at home programming my Amstrad CPC6128.
I like activities and hobbies that mostly involve being on my own, such as photography.
When I ran my own company and employed quite a few people, it was fine because I could make decisions and ask people to carry out tasks and it was all good, but having a line manager or colleagues on the same level as me making decisions about my work never really worked for me.
I absolutely love spending 'recreational' time with my wife and friends, but I don't work with them so I guess thats the difference. I have occasionally argued with my wife over life/home decisions that have to be made, but I have now found a peaceful way though this by letting her make most of the decisions, and not letting myself think about it. She's a terribly clever and sensible lady so I trust her implicitly and don't worry about what she is deciding.
Can't ever see myself wanting to be in a club or collective of any kind.
Summary: No.
I don't enjoy any kind of team sports or team/group activities. If I can't make the decisions and carry out the tasks myself, in the manner I want to carry them out in, then I don't want to play
In the past, when I have been 'forced' to take part in team activities (School sports, corporate team building etc) I would just hang back and let everyone else do what they wanted without really getting involved.
My parents used to send me to a few different after-school and weekend clubs for kids that were apparently 'fun' but I hated it. I would rather be at home programming my Amstrad CPC6128.
I like activities and hobbies that mostly involve being on my own, such as photography.
When I ran my own company and employed quite a few people, it was fine because I could make decisions and ask people to carry out tasks and it was all good, but having a line manager or colleagues on the same level as me making decisions about my work never really worked for me.
I absolutely love spending 'recreational' time with my wife and friends, but I don't work with them so I guess thats the difference. I have occasionally argued with my wife over life/home decisions that have to be made, but I have now found a peaceful way though this by letting her make most of the decisions, and not letting myself think about it. She's a terribly clever and sensible lady so I trust her implicitly and don't worry about what she is deciding.
Can't ever see myself wanting to be in a club or collective of any kind.
Summary: No.
Chainsaw Rebuild said:
Does anyone else feel like they would like to be a part of something meaningful? I used to row competitively at uni and was part of a tight team. Then I was part of another sports team and it was similar.
These days I have a decent job but I don’t feel any great attachment or kinship with my colleagues (they are all pleasant). Nor do I really care about the job on a deeper level; it’s very corporate and a lot of it is a bit pointless or done in an inefficient way really.
I miss doing something that matters and I just wondered if anyone else felt like this?
My first question would be how does rowing matter? Is it just the team thing or more than that? These days I have a decent job but I don’t feel any great attachment or kinship with my colleagues (they are all pleasant). Nor do I really care about the job on a deeper level; it’s very corporate and a lot of it is a bit pointless or done in an inefficient way really.
I miss doing something that matters and I just wondered if anyone else felt like this?
I’ve never felt the need to be a part of things though, and have no idea why people get so obsessed about things like football.
I’ve been told that I should join camera clubs due to an interest in photography, but for me it’s a solo thing. I’ll happily show friends how to do things but if I’m taking photos prefer not to have the distraction.
Same for motorbikes, I know a lot of people that only really ride in groups where I much prefer to be solo or with a couple of mates at most.
Suppose some people like company!
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