Your Worst Christmas Present 2020

[Ikemi]

An official thread for you to share the worst Christmas presents you received this year! Feel free to add photos if it adds to the hilarity.

Any presents welcome; inappropriate, dull, damaged or just plain weird!

Who wants to start?

[Ikemi]

My mother gave my father a comb, which is somewhat funny, as he doesn’t have much hair left! I received a selection box of Terry’s chocolate orange. I love the milk and dark chocolate bites. I hate the yellow popping candy variant ...

4 milk, 8 dark, 8 toffee and 14 popping candy! SMH.

[bad company]

Nothing. Not a sausage, b*****r all.

[Teddy Lop]

No worst, but me and the mrs managed to succeed in our sodding annual bought-each-other-the-same-damn-present-again mission - this years effort was skin's autobiography.

Does anyone else have this problem? We do it nearly every year!

In literal spirit of the thread title though I own two hip flasks. Now I love a drink and drink too much TBF and some claim I'm an alki, but I've never ever found the need to carry some hard liqueur around with me - just what is the fking point of a hip flask and why does anyone think I need one? I despise "gifts", y'know token fking ste from someone with an obligation to fulfil. Please just don't bother wasting resources please.

[Blakeatron]

My wife didn’t like the present i got her

[parabolica]

Got a black shoe-shine kit from my aunty which I guess I can at least keep in the cupboard until such a time again that I own a paid of black shoes. WFH for 3 years so no work shoes to speak of; my 'good' suit is navy blue so I have dark tan shoes with that.

Got some 'new' Top Gear annual from my dad that he panic-bought; haven't watched the new Top Gear at all but at least there is space on the bookshelf for it.

[The Moose]

Blakeatron said:

My wife didn’t like the present i got her

Keep the picture and the pussy. Lose the wife. Job jobbed

[DoubleD]

A toastie maker!

[Cotty]

Teddy Lop said:

In literal spirit of the thread title though I own two hip flasks. Now I love a drink and drink too much TBF and some claim I'm an alki, but I've never ever found the need to carry some hard liqueur around with me - just what is the fking point of a hip flask and why does anyone think I need one?

I have had one for 30 years and never felt the need to fill and actually use it.

[Sheets Tabuer]

bad company said:

Nothing. Not a sausage, b*****r all.

It's not so bad when you live alone but I've had that when I had a mrs and kids at home

Worst still in when your BiL turns up showing you what your mrs bought him

[pequod]

Cotty said:

Teddy Lop said:

In literal spirit of the thread title though I own two hip flasks. Now I love a drink and drink too much TBF and some claim I'm an alki, but I've never ever found the need to carry some hard liqueur around with me - just what is the fking point of a hip flask and why does anyone think I need one?

I have had one for 30 years and never felt the need to fill and actually use it.

Do you both wear Barbour jackets in town, and maybe £300 wellies to walk the dog?

If you do, then you don't qualify for a hip flask.

Sorry!

[98elise]

Cotty said:

Teddy Lop said:

In literal spirit of the thread title though I own two hip flasks. Now I love a drink and drink too much TBF and some claim I'm an alki, but I've never ever found the need to carry some hard liqueur around with me - just what is the fking point of a hip flask and why does anyone think I need one?

I have had one for 30 years and never felt the need to fill and actually use it.

I must have 3 or 4 of the bloody things in the loft (unused).

[rjfp1962]

No family get together this year... so no presents..!

[bunchofkeys]

Whatever I ate or drank last night, which to both, wasn't much.
From waking up this morning, till now, I've had terrible gut pain, although it's probably trapped gas.
But I've not had a Xmas lunch this year or spent much time with the family.
Just been in bed trying to sleep and waking up needing to burp or use the loo.

[Sheets Tabuer]

bunchofkeys said:

Whatever I ate or drank last night, which to both, wasn't much.
From waking up this morning, till now, I've had terrible gut pain, although it's probably trapped gas.
But I've not had a Xmas lunch this year or spent much time with the family.
Just been in bed trying to sleep and waking up needing to burp or use the loo.

Thanks for the info... I guess.

[condor]

Cotty said:

Teddy Lop said:

In literal spirit of the thread title though I own two hip flasks. Now I love a drink and drink too much TBF and some claim I'm an alki, but I've never ever found the need to carry some hard liqueur around with me - just what is the fking point of a hip flask and why does anyone think I need one?

I have had one for 30 years and never felt the need to fill and actually use it.

I can think of plenty of uses for a hip flask or two. Usually a tot to warm you up, so a lot of spectating at sporting events when you're having to stand or sit around in the cold.
Skiing holidays, hip flask full of Cognac to warm you up when you're on the ski lift...or waiting for your friends to get down the mountain etc.
Also would be useful for hospital stays

[condor]

Forgot to say - worst Christmas present is not getting anything.

[SlimJim16v]

Hip flasks, great for weddings and funerals. There's also a club I occasionally go to, to see a band, where it saves you going to the bar too often.

[Biggus thingus]

Bought OH a lady shave, amongst other things, thinking it might be nice to try something new instead of using a razor on her legs.

Saw her arse and kicked off!

Apparently too personal and can only buy that if she asks for it!

[Doofus]