Is this normal or crass?
Discussion
Ok, I know funeral directors need to get paid. I accept that and I have paid. But we got the invoice as we left the chapel of rest having viewed the body.
Is this the "normal" time to get the bill? I mean, we were a touch distressed and then on the way out the door get handed the invoice.. I personally think surely there must be "better" time and place to do so?
Is this the "normal" time to get the bill? I mean, we were a touch distressed and then on the way out the door get handed the invoice.. I personally think surely there must be "better" time and place to do so?
Firstly, sorry for your loss.
There's never a 'good' time to talk about money in this situation.
When is better? Up front when booking? Over the phone when making arrangements? End of the funeral when you're in bits?
To normal folk like you and me it may seem abhorrent, but I bet they get a lot of people dodging payment in their 'moments of grief' and disappearing into the wide blue yonder.
They need to judge the room, but there is also a business transaction that needs sorting.
There's never a 'good' time to talk about money in this situation.
When is better? Up front when booking? Over the phone when making arrangements? End of the funeral when you're in bits?
To normal folk like you and me it may seem abhorrent, but I bet they get a lot of people dodging payment in their 'moments of grief' and disappearing into the wide blue yonder.
They need to judge the room, but there is also a business transaction that needs sorting.
john2443 said:
When my mum died a couple of years ago, we were send the bill by post sometime after the funeral, can't remember exactly how long, maybe a week or two.
This, when my father departed, undertaker posted out bill approx 4 weeks after the funeral with another 4 weeks to pay. To seek payment immediately after is insensitve to say the least. Halmyre said:
I would have thought sending the invoice by post would be the more discrete method.
Agreed. Stick it in the post first class and it's there next day. No need to hand the bill to someone at the actual funeral!
Personally I would rather pay before the actual funeral, so that it's one less thing to deal with.
Jasandjules said:
Ok, I know funeral directors need to get paid. I accept that and I have paid. But we got the invoice as we left the chapel of rest having viewed the body.
Is this the "normal" time to get the bill? I mean, we were a touch distressed and then on the way out the door get handed the invoice.. I personally think surely there must be "better" time and place to do so?
Sorry for your loss. Hope you don't mind my asking but was it covid related?Is this the "normal" time to get the bill? I mean, we were a touch distressed and then on the way out the door get handed the invoice.. I personally think surely there must be "better" time and place to do so?
Going through a loss at the moment also, and the hardest thing has been not being able to visit hospital, and not being allowed a viewing because covid.
PS we had to pay 50% up front, and final payment is 60 days with invoice by post.
Edited by bmwmike on Tuesday 9th February 11:31
I think that's pretty bad form, ridiculous to be honest.
I lost a parent last year, invoice for balance was sent via email a few days later along with a text, which was fair enough and fairly polite/not pushy etc
If you are able to leave them a review then in a polite manner I think you should highlight this or at least let them know with an email maybe? (The parlour I used asked me to provide a review a few weeks later).
I lost a parent last year, invoice for balance was sent via email a few days later along with a text, which was fair enough and fairly polite/not pushy etc
If you are able to leave them a review then in a polite manner I think you should highlight this or at least let them know with an email maybe? (The parlour I used asked me to provide a review a few weeks later).
Spare tyre said:
My dad bless him is unwell
He had organised his own funeral and paid upfront, he stated where when, music, etc etc
He said it’s mainly to avoid stress Tommy mum or me and sis
It’s something that hopefully will be a blessing when the time comes
Sorry for your loss byw OP
Seems slightly premature.He had organised his own funeral and paid upfront, he stated where when, music, etc etc
He said it’s mainly to avoid stress Tommy mum or me and sis
It’s something that hopefully will be a blessing when the time comes
Sorry for your loss byw OP
Jasandjules said:
Ok, I know funeral directors need to get paid. I accept that and I have paid. But we got the invoice as we left the chapel of rest having viewed the body.
Firstly, sorry for your loss.No, I wouldn't expect to be handed a bill at that time at all, an invoice after the funeral would be the norm.
thewarlock said:
Spare tyre said:
My dad bless him is unwell
He had organised his own funeral and paid upfront, he stated where when, music, etc etc
He said it’s mainly to avoid stress Tommy mum or me and sis
It’s something that hopefully will be a blessing when the time comes
Sorry for your loss byw OP
Seems slightly premature.He had organised his own funeral and paid upfront, he stated where when, music, etc etc
He said it’s mainly to avoid stress Tommy mum or me and sis
It’s something that hopefully will be a blessing when the time comes
Sorry for your loss byw OP
I used to work for a proifessional firm of executors. The approach of these funeral directors is unusual and in my experience totally unprofessional. It is common practice to send the invoice a few weeks later and even then payment is not expected until the executor has funds available.
A polite reminder would be issued after 2 or 3 months.
A polite reminder would be issued after 2 or 3 months.
Firstly, thank you for the condolences. It was expected, but not so suddenly.
We knew the price etc as this was all agreed when they collected her (she died in our house Boxing Day morning and they were good enough to come and collect her that evening) and that was not a concern.
I just had not even considered that I would be handed a bill when we went to view the body in the Chapel of Rest. I suppose at least they waited until we were leaving but still. Good to hear others were sent the invoice after the event, that is more what I had expected and actually on the way home we said that the vets waited a week after we got ashes back from our dog before invoicing, which seemed better than the funeral home.
Perhaps they are having a spate of non-payments or something but I just thought an envelope then was not quite appropriate.
We knew the price etc as this was all agreed when they collected her (she died in our house Boxing Day morning and they were good enough to come and collect her that evening) and that was not a concern.
I just had not even considered that I would be handed a bill when we went to view the body in the Chapel of Rest. I suppose at least they waited until we were leaving but still. Good to hear others were sent the invoice after the event, that is more what I had expected and actually on the way home we said that the vets waited a week after we got ashes back from our dog before invoicing, which seemed better than the funeral home.
Perhaps they are having a spate of non-payments or something but I just thought an envelope then was not quite appropriate.
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