How to stop being a tight *rse?
Discussion
I really struggle to spend material amounts of money on anything. Some people tell me that it's a great thing, I'm starting to find it's hindering my life. Does any one else suffer from this?
Examples:
- I love cars. My cashflow could afford most vehicles on the road up to a certain value, but I just don't 'feel comfortable' committing that level of money each month to a car.
- I enjoy going on holiday but I haven't got in the habit of actually going online and booking a holiday because then I have to use my savings. I therefore haven't been on holiday for 2 years - and that was only because an girlfriend at the time sorted it, it was 2 years before that when I went on holiday previously.
- I like decent quality clothes, tailored shirts etc. but I tell myself there's no point spending money on them because I'm not in the office.
I'm a high rate tax payer and work hard, but I really struggle to want to spend it. My colleagues call me Scrooge. How do I break this mindset?!
Examples:
- I love cars. My cashflow could afford most vehicles on the road up to a certain value, but I just don't 'feel comfortable' committing that level of money each month to a car.
- I enjoy going on holiday but I haven't got in the habit of actually going online and booking a holiday because then I have to use my savings. I therefore haven't been on holiday for 2 years - and that was only because an girlfriend at the time sorted it, it was 2 years before that when I went on holiday previously.
- I like decent quality clothes, tailored shirts etc. but I tell myself there's no point spending money on them because I'm not in the office.
I'm a high rate tax payer and work hard, but I really struggle to want to spend it. My colleagues call me Scrooge. How do I break this mindset?!
In what way is it hindering your life?
If you are uncomfortable spending money on yourself are you the same with others? There's nothing wrong not spending on cars & clothes but are you generous with others, standing your round, decent presents for birthdays & at Christmas. If you're a Scrooge with everyone that's not too good.
The one area I'd say to be careful is with property. Don't stay put when you can afford to move up the ladder.
If you are uncomfortable spending money on yourself are you the same with others? There's nothing wrong not spending on cars & clothes but are you generous with others, standing your round, decent presents for birthdays & at Christmas. If you're a Scrooge with everyone that's not too good.
The one area I'd say to be careful is with property. Don't stay put when you can afford to move up the ladder.
I am not earning as much as yourself but i can be pretty similar..
Thing is i whenever i do buy new trainers/shoes clothes I never wear them, sometimes for years. I still rock about in my beaten up trainers/clothes unless there is something special going on.
I havent spent for a while but recently had a splurge buying a weekend toy and having some home improvements.
Life is too short and you cant take it with you when you die. Life is all about balance.
Thing is i whenever i do buy new trainers/shoes clothes I never wear them, sometimes for years. I still rock about in my beaten up trainers/clothes unless there is something special going on.
I havent spent for a while but recently had a splurge buying a weekend toy and having some home improvements.
Life is too short and you cant take it with you when you die. Life is all about balance.
There's nothing wrong with being careful with your money. After all, by the time you get any of what you have worked for, your employer has made plenty out of you, as has the taxman.
Deciding what you want, then getting the best deal on it is no bad thing. I wanted a jacket that cost £300, but knowing that I would barely ever wear it, I couldn't justify the cost to myself, so I set up an eBay search, and when a 'new with tags' one came up in my size for £40, I nabbed it.
If clothes shopping is a real bore for you, another approach is to find a friend whose opinion on style and colours you trust (but don't necessarily always agree with), and have do a trip with them. Set a budget if you wish and have an idea of what you want to get, but allow the friend to have a bit of flexibility here and add a nice meal at your expense in to the trip (obviously post-lockdown).
Car-wise, are you feel pressure to keep up with the Joneses'? How about getting something late-classic, if you really can't bear, or see the point of, looking out at a rapidly depreciating asset you really didn't want in the first place?
Maybe the issue is that you need to broaden your horizons and just get in a fresh crowd. There aren't many sporting and hobby activities which won't swallow up all the available cash, plus many will involve trips to events and competitions, so planning a trip away doesn't require so much thought.
Reading between the lines, it appears that maybe you just need a partner who enjoys the planning side of things and you can help with the larger share of the necessary funds.
Deciding what you want, then getting the best deal on it is no bad thing. I wanted a jacket that cost £300, but knowing that I would barely ever wear it, I couldn't justify the cost to myself, so I set up an eBay search, and when a 'new with tags' one came up in my size for £40, I nabbed it.
If clothes shopping is a real bore for you, another approach is to find a friend whose opinion on style and colours you trust (but don't necessarily always agree with), and have do a trip with them. Set a budget if you wish and have an idea of what you want to get, but allow the friend to have a bit of flexibility here and add a nice meal at your expense in to the trip (obviously post-lockdown).
Car-wise, are you feel pressure to keep up with the Joneses'? How about getting something late-classic, if you really can't bear, or see the point of, looking out at a rapidly depreciating asset you really didn't want in the first place?
Maybe the issue is that you need to broaden your horizons and just get in a fresh crowd. There aren't many sporting and hobby activities which won't swallow up all the available cash, plus many will involve trips to events and competitions, so planning a trip away doesn't require so much thought.
Reading between the lines, it appears that maybe you just need a partner who enjoys the planning side of things and you can help with the larger share of the necessary funds.
Edited by GliderRider on Wednesday 10th March 10:52
pb8g09 said:
I really struggle to spend material amounts of money on anything. Some people tell me that it's a great thing, I'm starting to find it's hindering my life. Does any one else suffer from this?
Examples:
- I love cars. My cashflow could afford most vehicles on the road up to a certain value, but I just don't 'feel comfortable' committing that level of money each month to a car.
- I enjoy going on holiday but I haven't got in the habit of actually going online and booking a holiday because then I have to use my savings. I therefore haven't been on holiday for 2 years - and that was only because an girlfriend at the time sorted it, it was 2 years before that when I went on holiday previously.
- I like decent quality clothes, tailored shirts etc. but I tell myself there's no point spending money on them because I'm not in the office.
I'm a high rate tax payer and work hard, but I really struggle to want to spend it. My colleagues call me Scrooge. How do I break this mindset?!
I think we're all like that to a degree and (in moderation) it's no bad thing. I also think it comes from our childhoods and how our parents behaved with money. Also sometimes i think there are issues of low self-esteem where "we" think we don't deserve something nice.Examples:
- I love cars. My cashflow could afford most vehicles on the road up to a certain value, but I just don't 'feel comfortable' committing that level of money each month to a car.
- I enjoy going on holiday but I haven't got in the habit of actually going online and booking a holiday because then I have to use my savings. I therefore haven't been on holiday for 2 years - and that was only because an girlfriend at the time sorted it, it was 2 years before that when I went on holiday previously.
- I like decent quality clothes, tailored shirts etc. but I tell myself there's no point spending money on them because I'm not in the office.
I'm a high rate tax payer and work hard, but I really struggle to want to spend it. My colleagues call me Scrooge. How do I break this mindset?!
Thinking out loud here so hopefully it makes sense. If you're concerned about the continious outgoing for a car payment or something, it may be worth say, spending that amount each month for maybe 2-3 months and see how it affects you.
Quite what to spend it on, I'm not sure
You could splurge on deliveroo for restaurant deliveries a few times a month or potentially buuy things that could be sold again for minmal loss.
I'm a fairly low earner but always bought my previous cars outright. But with my current one I took out a loan to get in to the swing of paying a larger figure each month, as I'd always been feart to commit to long term payments for things like that.
Hopefully that makes sense, basically try do something equivilent cost wise for a while but non commital & you can see how it goes for you.
Quite what to spend it on, I'm not sure
You could splurge on deliveroo for restaurant deliveries a few times a month or potentially buuy things that could be sold again for minmal loss. I'm a fairly low earner but always bought my previous cars outright. But with my current one I took out a loan to get in to the swing of paying a larger figure each month, as I'd always been feart to commit to long term payments for things like that.
Hopefully that makes sense, basically try do something equivilent cost wise for a while but non commital & you can see how it goes for you.
There’s no point in spending money on things you don’t want. Is there anything you do want though?
Not spending because you’re tight is different to not spending because you don’t want what’s on offer. In the first case you might want a bunch of things but not be prepared to pay the asking price. In the second you don’t actually want anything in the first place. Which camp are you in?
Not spending because you’re tight is different to not spending because you don’t want what’s on offer. In the first case you might want a bunch of things but not be prepared to pay the asking price. In the second you don’t actually want anything in the first place. Which camp are you in?
As someone who's the opposite, mainly thanks to bipolar and personality disorder issues, I envy you. One day something will come along that you genuinely, really want or something that is really important and requires funds and you'll be in a position to do something about it.
As another poster has already said, property is an area that's worth pushing things a little. If you can afford an investment property, there are routes such as serviced accommodation that you can go down with it that have far more financial benefits over traditional BTL models.
Finally, don't be so hard on yourself. Having your head screwed on and being sensible with money makes you a responsible adult, not a tight arse!
As another poster has already said, property is an area that's worth pushing things a little. If you can afford an investment property, there are routes such as serviced accommodation that you can go down with it that have far more financial benefits over traditional BTL models.
Finally, don't be so hard on yourself. Having your head screwed on and being sensible with money makes you a responsible adult, not a tight arse!
You’re along time dead, but no point buying things you don’t need but you should alway spend money on hobbies and things you enjoy
Some people like to have a nice car, I don’t see a issue spending £300 a month on something if the money is just going to sit in the bank year after year.
Yes retirement is important but so long as you’re saving for a comftable one then what’s the issue
Some people like to have a nice car, I don’t see a issue spending £300 a month on something if the money is just going to sit in the bank year after year.
Yes retirement is important but so long as you’re saving for a comftable one then what’s the issue
I don't see any problem with your attitude to money at all. If you really wanted a car/clothes/holiday you would spend your money on them. So the fact that you don't spend you money on those things indicates that they aren't really that important to you, you are just being pressured by friends/society/advertising into thinking that you have to have those things to be happy or to be considered successful in life.
I'm exactly the same, I'm the stereotypical tight Yorkshireman!
I think I suffer from it as I used to be a potwash when I was a teenager and it was torture, so I always used to think how many torturous hours I had to work to buy that thing, and often it wasn't worth it and that mentality hasn't left me as I've grown up.
Every moderately expensive thing I buy, I'll research for months to make sure I get the best deal possible. I want a new car now worth about £7k, but my car works so struggle to justify the upgrade to myself so I just stick it in my S&S ISA instead...
My dad's even worse, he's got god knows how many hundreds of thousands in shares yet he will only eat yellow label reduced stuff from Tesco, drives around a car that's falling to pieces, won't turn on the heating unless it's -10, he's honestly like the Scrooge reincarnated.
I think I suffer from it as I used to be a potwash when I was a teenager and it was torture, so I always used to think how many torturous hours I had to work to buy that thing, and often it wasn't worth it and that mentality hasn't left me as I've grown up.
Every moderately expensive thing I buy, I'll research for months to make sure I get the best deal possible. I want a new car now worth about £7k, but my car works so struggle to justify the upgrade to myself so I just stick it in my S&S ISA instead...
My dad's even worse, he's got god knows how many hundreds of thousands in shares yet he will only eat yellow label reduced stuff from Tesco, drives around a car that's falling to pieces, won't turn on the heating unless it's -10, he's honestly like the Scrooge reincarnated.
pb8g09 said:
I really struggle to spend material amounts of money on anything. Some people tell me that it's a great thing, I'm starting to find it's hindering my life. Does any one else suffer from this?
Examples:
- I love cars. My cashflow could afford most vehicles on the road up to a certain value, but I just don't 'feel comfortable' committing that level of money each month to a car.
- I enjoy going on holiday but I haven't got in the habit of actually going online and booking a holiday because then I have to use my savings. I therefore haven't been on holiday for 2 years - and that was only because an girlfriend at the time sorted it, it was 2 years before that when I went on holiday previously.
- I like decent quality clothes, tailored shirts etc. but I tell myself there's no point spending money on them because I'm not in the office.
I'm a high rate tax payer and work hard, but I really struggle to want to spend it. My colleagues call me Scrooge. How do I break this mindset?!
Cars I'm with you on. I've driven some really nice cars, and tbh they are only a bit better than some very cheap (second hand) cars.Examples:
- I love cars. My cashflow could afford most vehicles on the road up to a certain value, but I just don't 'feel comfortable' committing that level of money each month to a car.
- I enjoy going on holiday but I haven't got in the habit of actually going online and booking a holiday because then I have to use my savings. I therefore haven't been on holiday for 2 years - and that was only because an girlfriend at the time sorted it, it was 2 years before that when I went on holiday previously.
- I like decent quality clothes, tailored shirts etc. but I tell myself there's no point spending money on them because I'm not in the office.
I'm a high rate tax payer and work hard, but I really struggle to want to spend it. My colleagues call me Scrooge. How do I break this mindset?!
For Holidays I stick money away each month into a holiday fund and count it as gone/spent. When I come to book a holiday it feels like "free" cash. If I've not been on holiday for a while the fund is much bigger
I always shop around though. I won't pay for a package holiday if I can get better buying separate components.
Lots of responses! Thanks all. Guess I don't really know what answer I'm looking for, was curious to see if others have the same mindset/issue.
I'm a commercial accountant for my day job so I'm fairly certain my spreadsheets are doing what they need to!
I am very generous with money with my family and closest of friends - that's my choice to give, there's no expectation to receive thankfully as I know many others on here have the opposite issue.
I'm driving around in a shed because I like the freedom of it, sometimes I don't even bother locking it when I park. But besides that, I will always talk myself out of buying things if I can get a cheaper brand (e.g. jeans from Matalan instead of Levi, Aldi shower gel instead of a brand, etc. etc.).I save money but then mope around if I spend it because I like to look at the number in the bank account (sad right?).
It gets to a point where one wonders what the point is of working so hard when you don't want to use it! I'm only 29, can't imagine what I'll be like when I'm older!
I'm a commercial accountant for my day job so I'm fairly certain my spreadsheets are doing what they need to!
I am very generous with money with my family and closest of friends - that's my choice to give, there's no expectation to receive thankfully as I know many others on here have the opposite issue.
I'm driving around in a shed because I like the freedom of it, sometimes I don't even bother locking it when I park. But besides that, I will always talk myself out of buying things if I can get a cheaper brand (e.g. jeans from Matalan instead of Levi, Aldi shower gel instead of a brand, etc. etc.).I save money but then mope around if I spend it because I like to look at the number in the bank account (sad right?).
It gets to a point where one wonders what the point is of working so hard when you don't want to use it! I'm only 29, can't imagine what I'll be like when I'm older!
Drezza said:
I'm exactly the same, I'm the stereotypical tight Yorkshireman!
I think I suffer from it as I used to be a potwash when I was a teenager and it was torture, so I always used to think how many torturous hours I had to work to buy that thing, and often it wasn't worth it and that mentality hasn't left me as I've grown up.
Every moderately expensive thing I buy, I'll research for months to make sure I get the best deal possible. I want a new car now worth about £7k, but my car works so struggle to justify the upgrade to myself so I just stick it in my S&S ISA instead...
My dad's even worse, he's got god knows how many hundreds of thousands in shares yet he will only eat yellow label reduced stuff from Tesco, drives around a car that's falling to pieces, won't turn on the heating unless it's -10, he's honestly like the Scrooge reincarnated.
Ha haI think I suffer from it as I used to be a potwash when I was a teenager and it was torture, so I always used to think how many torturous hours I had to work to buy that thing, and often it wasn't worth it and that mentality hasn't left me as I've grown up.
Every moderately expensive thing I buy, I'll research for months to make sure I get the best deal possible. I want a new car now worth about £7k, but my car works so struggle to justify the upgrade to myself so I just stick it in my S&S ISA instead...
My dad's even worse, he's got god knows how many hundreds of thousands in shares yet he will only eat yellow label reduced stuff from Tesco, drives around a car that's falling to pieces, won't turn on the heating unless it's -10, he's honestly like the Scrooge reincarnated.
Maybe we are brothers, it's like you're talking about my Dad!
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