Is the love of your life your partner?
Discussion
Had a drunken convo last night with a neighbour who basically blabbed that he met a woman he once worked with at the same time as he met his now wife. He said he saw them both as friends but fancied both. It could have gone the other way with the other woman if he'd met her a few weeks earlier but it didn't and now he's married to his wife. He said he thought about the other woman a lot and always wondered if he made the right decision (a good 20 years ago now).
His wife is lovely and they seem to get on really well but it was a bit of bombshell in the conversation. Possible love of your life not being you long term wife/partner.
His wife is lovely and they seem to get on really well but it was a bit of bombshell in the conversation. Possible love of your life not being you long term wife/partner.
I can honestly say that I have married the love of my life. We have only been together for 6 years and married for 4 later this year.
My only regret is that we didn’t meet sooner. We are both in our mid forties now so we will never have kids, although we both have kids from previous relationships, it would of been great to have kids together.
Amy is everything to me she has helped me through a very dark time in my life, I can honestly say if it wasn’t for her I wouldn’t be here now. We have also shared some of the most amazing times of our lives too.
My only regret is that we didn’t meet sooner. We are both in our mid forties now so we will never have kids, although we both have kids from previous relationships, it would of been great to have kids together.
Amy is everything to me she has helped me through a very dark time in my life, I can honestly say if it wasn’t for her I wouldn’t be here now. We have also shared some of the most amazing times of our lives too.
To answer the OP – no…
If I meet a bloke who has been married for a decent stretch, say over 25 years, I always ask the same question - in jest -
“Do you think you are going to like it?”
I get 2 different types of responses depending if it’s just the 2 of us, or someone else is listening, especially if it’s highly likely the answer will get back to his wife.
I’ve heard some very telling responses over the years….
If I meet a bloke who has been married for a decent stretch, say over 25 years, I always ask the same question - in jest -
“Do you think you are going to like it?”
I get 2 different types of responses depending if it’s just the 2 of us, or someone else is listening, especially if it’s highly likely the answer will get back to his wife.
I’ve heard some very telling responses over the years….
That’s tricky.
I would have to say my first wife was the love of my life. I had 2 children by her and would have lived with her for the rest of my life. Unfortunately she didn’t feel the same way.
Fast forward 25 years and I’ve been with my present wife for 20 of those. She’s been better for me, supported me, encouraged me in ways my first wife never did. In fact can now see how shallow my first marriage was. I love her to bits.
But it’s terrible to say she’ll never hold the place in my heart that my first wife did.
Drawweight I was agreeing with all your insights about your 1st marriage/ Wife etc up to the point where you say that your 1st Wife still has a place in your heart. This is where our similarity's end, in my case I love & appreciate my 2nd Wife even more so after 27 yrs of being together & I feel, you have to have had a bad Wife to appreciate a remarkable one...boom boom 
bucksmanuk said:
To answer the OP – no…
If I meet a bloke who has been married for a decent stretch, say over 25 years, I always ask the same question - in jest -
“Do you think you are going to like it?”
I get 2 different types of responses depending if it’s just the 2 of us, or someone else is listening, especially if it’s highly likely the answer will get back to his wife.
I’ve heard some very telling responses over the years….
Struggling to understand the question in this context?If I meet a bloke who has been married for a decent stretch, say over 25 years, I always ask the same question - in jest -
“Do you think you are going to like it?”
I get 2 different types of responses depending if it’s just the 2 of us, or someone else is listening, especially if it’s highly likely the answer will get back to his wife.
I’ve heard some very telling responses over the years….
To the OP.
Yes - with a qualifier.
She's by far the person I've fallen most in love with and can happily see us getting old and wrinkly together. I adore her.
In perhaps a similar vein, there was one "who got away" who could probably have reached the same bar, if circumstances and external factors were different. Other half knows all about her, and isn't fazed in the slightest. Took me a long time to get over her - and it was my now other half who really closed that 'what if' off.
So, perhaps similar to the chap you spoke with - but without the 'what if' thoughts.
Yes!
Met her for the first time Nov 29 1985, proposed new years eve
Married 1st Feb 1986... known her for 9 weeks
Still married now
By far the best thing ever in my life
I cannot imagine my life without her
Some of the family/friends did admit 6 months later that they thought I would never last
And she owned her own house when I met her
Sue had a Escort mk 1 and I had an Avenger
Met her for the first time Nov 29 1985, proposed new years eve
Married 1st Feb 1986... known her for 9 weeks
Still married now
By far the best thing ever in my life
I cannot imagine my life without her
Some of the family/friends did admit 6 months later that they thought I would never last
And she owned her own house when I met her
Sue had a Escort mk 1 and I had an Avenger
Drawweight said:
That’s tricky.
I would have to say my first wife was the love of my life. I had 2 children by her and would have lived with her for the rest of my life. Unfortunately she didn’t feel the same way.
Fast forward 25 years and I’ve been with my present wife for 20 of those. She’s been better for me, supported me, encouraged me in ways my first wife never did. In fact can now see how shallow my first marriage was. I love her to bits.
But it’s terrible to say she’ll never hold the place in my heart that my first wife did.
Brave postI would have to say my first wife was the love of my life. I had 2 children by her and would have lived with her for the rest of my life. Unfortunately she didn’t feel the same way.
Fast forward 25 years and I’ve been with my present wife for 20 of those. She’s been better for me, supported me, encouraged me in ways my first wife never did. In fact can now see how shallow my first marriage was. I love her to bits.
But it’s terrible to say she’ll never hold the place in my heart that my first wife did.
Yes, she is. She even brought me the Sagaris!
There is another I occasionally wonder how she is. Undeniable chemistry but the stars never aligned. Do I regret it? Not at all, but I know there is a 'sliding doors' moment of my life that if I chose differently, I wouldn't be with my amazing wife and would potentially be with this other person.
I'm very content and happy this is the path I am on.
Car because I can
There is another I occasionally wonder how she is. Undeniable chemistry but the stars never aligned. Do I regret it? Not at all, but I know there is a 'sliding doors' moment of my life that if I chose differently, I wouldn't be with my amazing wife and would potentially be with this other person.
I'm very content and happy this is the path I am on.
Car because I can
No - I thought I had met the love of my life in 1981.
In 1986 she decided she wanted us to spend some time apart but "stay friends". I took that to mean if she couldn't do better I might do - until the next time! So as a bolshie 20 something year old I gave up on that relationship and didn't bother getting involved again for years.
I did meet Mrs Tidy in 2000 and we got married in 2003, but parted in 2011. We had probably both lived on our own for too long so didn't make enough effort.
And since then I really can't be a*sed.
But fair play to anyone who has made it all work out.
In 1986 she decided she wanted us to spend some time apart but "stay friends". I took that to mean if she couldn't do better I might do - until the next time! So as a bolshie 20 something year old I gave up on that relationship and didn't bother getting involved again for years.
I did meet Mrs Tidy in 2000 and we got married in 2003, but parted in 2011. We had probably both lived on our own for too long so didn't make enough effort.
And since then I really can't be a*sed.
But fair play to anyone who has made it all work out.
Honestly? Not even close. Everyone has 'the one' and the younger, stupider version of myself f
ked it up with her.
There was something there that will never leave me. I think she's feels the same way but she's not prepared to give me another chance.
My current girlfriend is probably the best person I've ever known, certainly a far better person than me, but there's something indefinable missing that was there in abundance with my ex.
For example, I saw her in a supermarket ages ago and I was rooted to the spot, breathless, heart going like the clappers and lost for words. She literally took my breath away. That is utterly out of character for me. Anyone who knows me, wouldn't believe that that it happened at all.
Hence, this is the first time I've ever talked about it.
ked it up with her.There was something there that will never leave me. I think she's feels the same way but she's not prepared to give me another chance.
My current girlfriend is probably the best person I've ever known, certainly a far better person than me, but there's something indefinable missing that was there in abundance with my ex.
For example, I saw her in a supermarket ages ago and I was rooted to the spot, breathless, heart going like the clappers and lost for words. She literally took my breath away. That is utterly out of character for me. Anyone who knows me, wouldn't believe that that it happened at all.
Hence, this is the first time I've ever talked about it.
Definitely.
Third time lucky for me. She has always been the love of my life. She is a wonderful caring person and everybody who knows or meets her likes her. The best bit about our relationship is the peace you have knowing we feel the same way about each other and being a solid unit. Been together 13 years, married for 10 and known each other for 24.
Third time lucky for me. She has always been the love of my life. She is a wonderful caring person and everybody who knows or meets her likes her. The best bit about our relationship is the peace you have knowing we feel the same way about each other and being a solid unit. Been together 13 years, married for 10 and known each other for 24.
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