How would you deal with this
Discussion
You cut a long story short, or try..
About a year ago a got a "lecture" from my partners older cousin regarding how he thought I was and should act and my financial situation ect.
I let it go as I didn't know him much at all but he's seemingly but at it again to her. I didn't tell her but I thought, I'll go and have a chat with him.
Had anybody else did this with wife's, partners did this and what did you do.
About a year ago a got a "lecture" from my partners older cousin regarding how he thought I was and should act and my financial situation ect.
I let it go as I didn't know him much at all but he's seemingly but at it again to her. I didn't tell her but I thought, I'll go and have a chat with him.
Had anybody else did this with wife's, partners did this and what did you do.
GSX said:
You cut a long story short, or try..
About a year ago a got a "lecture" from my partners older cousin regarding how he thought I was and should act and my financial situation ect.
I let it go as I didn't know him much at all but he's seemingly but at it again to her. I didn't tell her but I thought, I'll go and have a chat with him.
Had anybody else did this with wife's, partners did this and what did you do.
I'd tell him exactly where to go... the lounge . About a year ago a got a "lecture" from my partners older cousin regarding how he thought I was and should act and my financial situation ect.
I let it go as I didn't know him much at all but he's seemingly but at it again to her. I didn't tell her but I thought, I'll go and have a chat with him.
Had anybody else did this with wife's, partners did this and what did you do.
I'd tell him to f
k right off. What you do with your life and money is your business. My wife doesn't even pry into what I spend my money on etc, all she asks is that I don't put the house at risk.
If her family came along and gave me a lecture they would he told in no uncertain terms that it has absolutely fk all to do with them. He's her cousin ffs, not even immediate family.
k right off. What you do with your life and money is your business. My wife doesn't even pry into what I spend my money on etc, all she asks is that I don't put the house at risk. If her family came along and gave me a lecture they would he told in no uncertain terms that it has absolutely f
k all to do with them. He's her cousin ffs, not even immediate family. All depends, is there some good advice to be had, has he got a proven track record of knowing when to buy and sell, what to invest in etc, or simpy uses commons sense to stay solvent, is he simply trying to give you a heads up because he's lived successfully through the last recession and can see the same signs flashing that things could very well go tits up in the not too distant future.
In other words is this fatherly advise from someone worth listening to, or some bod poking his nose in for the sake of it, once you know the difference you'll know how to deal with it, listen to useful free advice or tell him to mind his business.
In other words is this fatherly advise from someone worth listening to, or some bod poking his nose in for the sake of it, once you know the difference you'll know how to deal with it, listen to useful free advice or tell him to mind his business.
steveo3002 said:
who's been telling the cousin about your money troubles /situation? they need to stfu , then the cousin needs telling where to go
I'd be tempted to dripfeed a few bullst "facts" to the likely blabbermouths. One unique detail each.Once cousin repeats a "fact", you know who you really need to have a word with.
I have no idea what your situation is so can't comment on yours.
However, there is no mine and her money in my house, everything is ours. If I was spending all OUR money on cars and leaving nothing for the wife, kids, holidays, home, pension etc, then I would expect someone to say something about 'balance', I might not like it, I might say STFU, but I would expect it and not be surprised. Also, everything that is spent is in conjunction with wifey, even if its 'for me' (like 17 years of running 2 cars) or her gym memberships, £120 hair do's etc . In that time plenty people have 'queried' why I run 2 cars (daily and fun) and spend money on watches and Hifi, it doesnt bother me.
There is a long contiunuum between genuine reasoned concern and keep your bloody nose out and equaly, responding by ignoring with reasoned arguement and not recognising a problem and burying your head in the sand.
Life is balance, what is important to you?, does it affect others? and if it does are they ok with it?
However, there is no mine and her money in my house, everything is ours. If I was spending all OUR money on cars and leaving nothing for the wife, kids, holidays, home, pension etc, then I would expect someone to say something about 'balance', I might not like it, I might say STFU, but I would expect it and not be surprised. Also, everything that is spent is in conjunction with wifey, even if its 'for me' (like 17 years of running 2 cars) or her gym memberships, £120 hair do's etc . In that time plenty people have 'queried' why I run 2 cars (daily and fun) and spend money on watches and Hifi, it doesnt bother me.
There is a long contiunuum between genuine reasoned concern and keep your bloody nose out and equaly, responding by ignoring with reasoned arguement and not recognising a problem and burying your head in the sand.
Life is balance, what is important to you?, does it affect others? and if it does are they ok with it?
my thinking also! GSX said:
You cut a long story short, or try..
About a year ago a got a "lecture" from my partners older cousin regarding how he thought I was and should act and my financial situation ect.
I let it go as I didn't know him much at all but he's seemingly but at it again to her. I didn't tell her but I thought, I'll go and have a chat with him.
Had anybody else did this with wife's, partners did this and what did you do.
Could we have the longer, less vague story?About a year ago a got a "lecture" from my partners older cousin regarding how he thought I was and should act and my financial situation ect.
I let it go as I didn't know him much at all but he's seemingly but at it again to her. I didn't tell her but I thought, I'll go and have a chat with him.
Had anybody else did this with wife's, partners did this and what did you do.
I used to get a lot of comments and ‘advice’ from people I have never asked because they just assume they know your situation or how you are or are not handling your money.
On more than one occasion people have commented kindly on things for others to swipe in with that I only have this and that because of my partner. In fact me and my partner have no joint assets. His money is his and mines is mines and we keep it that way.
People find that a strange thing and I’m always quite happy to tell them that I’m happy with the way my life is, I know I own what I own and have worked hard for it and if I ever want their advice I will ask for it and until such times to stfu.
I think with a lot of people it is jealousy, they feel hard done to that you’ve maybe done better or made better choices or that genuinely you just live for the moment and that makes them want to give you ‘advice’ on how they think you are or what you should be doing with your money.
I’d be asking them who the f they think they are and if they don’t keep their nose out of your personal affairs there will be consequences to their actions. I mean we don’t actually know if what he’s been saying is true or not? Has he been given information from someone in the family or is he making it up?
On more than one occasion people have commented kindly on things for others to swipe in with that I only have this and that because of my partner. In fact me and my partner have no joint assets. His money is his and mines is mines and we keep it that way.
People find that a strange thing and I’m always quite happy to tell them that I’m happy with the way my life is, I know I own what I own and have worked hard for it and if I ever want their advice I will ask for it and until such times to stfu.
I think with a lot of people it is jealousy, they feel hard done to that you’ve maybe done better or made better choices or that genuinely you just live for the moment and that makes them want to give you ‘advice’ on how they think you are or what you should be doing with your money.
I’d be asking them who the f they think they are and if they don’t keep their nose out of your personal affairs there will be consequences to their actions. I mean we don’t actually know if what he’s been saying is true or not? Has he been given information from someone in the family or is he making it up?
My wife’s cousin came to visit the day after my mil passed away , I walked into the room and took one look at my wife to realise something was up , I gave it a couple of minutes and told her it was time to go.
After she left I got the full story off my wife , if I’d known I’d have thrown her out the house immediately.
We’ve never seen nor heard from her since and that was seven years ago.
After she left I got the full story off my wife , if I’d known I’d have thrown her out the house immediately.
We’ve never seen nor heard from her since and that was seven years ago.
MGirl said:
I used to get a lot of comments and ‘advice’ from people I have never asked because they just assume they know your situation or how you are or are not handling your money.
On more than one occasion people have commented kindly on things for others to swipe in with that I only have this and that because of my partner. In fact me and my partner have no joint assets. His money is his and mines is mines and we keep it that way.
People find that a strange thing and I’m always quite happy to tell them that I’m happy with the way my life is, I know I own what I own and have worked hard for it and if I ever want their advice I will ask for it and until such times to stfu.
I think with a lot of people it is jealousy, they feel hard done to that you’ve maybe done better or made better choices or that genuinely you just live for the moment and that makes them want to give you ‘advice’ on how they think you are or what you should be doing with your money.
I’d be asking them who the f they think they are and if they don’t keep their nose out of your personal affairs there will be consequences to their actions. I mean we don’t actually know if what he’s been saying is true or not? Has he been given information from someone in the family or is he making it up?
This works for me and mrs vince too. Sometimes keeping finances separate can actually help a relationship imho. On more than one occasion people have commented kindly on things for others to swipe in with that I only have this and that because of my partner. In fact me and my partner have no joint assets. His money is his and mines is mines and we keep it that way.
People find that a strange thing and I’m always quite happy to tell them that I’m happy with the way my life is, I know I own what I own and have worked hard for it and if I ever want their advice I will ask for it and until such times to stfu.
I think with a lot of people it is jealousy, they feel hard done to that you’ve maybe done better or made better choices or that genuinely you just live for the moment and that makes them want to give you ‘advice’ on how they think you are or what you should be doing with your money.
I’d be asking them who the f they think they are and if they don’t keep their nose out of your personal affairs there will be consequences to their actions. I mean we don’t actually know if what he’s been saying is true or not? Has he been given information from someone in the family or is he making it up?
Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff