The one single moment when you realised you had 'made it'?
Discussion
What was the one moment in time you remember, that sticks in your mind, when you suddenly realised that you had finally made it in life, and that things were going to be alright.
Does not have to be anything financial or related to money. Can be absolutely anything. Kids, friends, family, work, business, education, house/home, travel, holidays, or indeed financial.
Been a funny old couple of years, so why not just blow your own trumpets and tell us about the good things that happened and the moment you realised it was all worthwhile.
Can be from absolutely any time in your life, not just the past couple of years.
Not a competition, and sometimes the small moments in life are more significant than the big ones.
Does not have to be anything financial or related to money. Can be absolutely anything. Kids, friends, family, work, business, education, house/home, travel, holidays, or indeed financial.
Been a funny old couple of years, so why not just blow your own trumpets and tell us about the good things that happened and the moment you realised it was all worthwhile.
Can be from absolutely any time in your life, not just the past couple of years.
Not a competition, and sometimes the small moments in life are more significant than the big ones.
I'm in my early 40s.
I've had occasions of achievement and contentment. Occasions of joy and satisfaction.
I've yet to experience a feeling of "I've made it" or "everything is going to be alright"
The former, I don't think I really want as where is the motivation to go on from there?
The latter, I've never seriously thought it wasn't going to be alright.
Maybe I'm not a good example!
I've had occasions of achievement and contentment. Occasions of joy and satisfaction.
I've yet to experience a feeling of "I've made it" or "everything is going to be alright"
The former, I don't think I really want as where is the motivation to go on from there?
The latter, I've never seriously thought it wasn't going to be alright.
Maybe I'm not a good example!
I looked in the mirror, checked myself out and thought "you know what..you're a good looking lad"
A bit like the Fonz when he goes to comb his hair and thinks..nah..I already look good.
Good manners, good looks, a bit of charm seems to have done me ok.
Best of all, I seem to be better looking now in my mid 40's than I was in my teens, early 20's.
A bit like the Fonz when he goes to comb his hair and thinks..nah..I already look good.
Good manners, good looks, a bit of charm seems to have done me ok.
Best of all, I seem to be better looking now in my mid 40's than I was in my teens, early 20's.
Muzzer79 said:
I'm in my early 40s.
I've had occasions of achievement and contentment. Occasions of joy and satisfaction.
I've yet to experience a feeling of "I've made it" or "everything is going to be alright"
The former, I don't think I really want as where is the motivation to go on from there?
The latter, I've never seriously thought it wasn't going to be alright.
Maybe I'm not a good example!
Same here.....I think? I've had occasions of achievement and contentment. Occasions of joy and satisfaction.
I've yet to experience a feeling of "I've made it" or "everything is going to be alright"
The former, I don't think I really want as where is the motivation to go on from there?
The latter, I've never seriously thought it wasn't going to be alright.
Maybe I'm not a good example!
I'm reasonably comfortable, most of the bills are paid off, and the kids are old enough/secure enough to stand on their own two feet. And should I pop my clogs tomorrow Mrs C will benefit from various insurance policies, pensions etc so won't have to work.
However I'm always aiming for a bigger/better/more, whether that's cars, holidays, time with the family. Even if i won the Lottery tomorrow there's a lot of things i want to do so I don't think I'll ever have the "I've made it!" feeling
Muzzer79 said:
I'm in my early 40s.
I've had occasions of achievement and contentment. Occasions of joy and satisfaction.
I've yet to experience a feeling of "I've made it" or "everything is going to be alright"
The former, I don't think I really want as where is the motivation to go on from there?
The latter, I've never seriously thought it wasn't going to be alright.
Maybe I'm not a good example!
I would have to agree with this one. It is a difficult thing to judge. Interested to see the replies, and whether we get the usual PH wallet wavers!I've had occasions of achievement and contentment. Occasions of joy and satisfaction.
I've yet to experience a feeling of "I've made it" or "everything is going to be alright"
The former, I don't think I really want as where is the motivation to go on from there?
The latter, I've never seriously thought it wasn't going to be alright.
Maybe I'm not a good example!
Hmm... before Covid, I'd agree with you, there were a couple of points in the last decade where I could have said that.
But since then, health, job security and the comfortable life I thought I had, and visions of a fun future with wife, friends and family all became very uncertain and unstable, I am re-evaluating what is important, and what makes up the criteria of having "made it". Saying that, Mrs P and I have just replaced our cars, and going from a 15 yrs old audi, to a shiny 4 yr old large SUV with all the modern bells and whistles certainly makes me feel like I have arrived somewhat
But since then, health, job security and the comfortable life I thought I had, and visions of a fun future with wife, friends and family all became very uncertain and unstable, I am re-evaluating what is important, and what makes up the criteria of having "made it". Saying that, Mrs P and I have just replaced our cars, and going from a 15 yrs old audi, to a shiny 4 yr old large SUV with all the modern bells and whistles certainly makes me feel like I have arrived somewhat
Never happened, I wish it had, but apart from a few fleeting moments of feeling I've achieved 'it' I'm chronically insecure.
It's a really s
tter too, because I had a list an everything! When I was at my lowest point in 2009, I'd been made redundant from a job that gave me self-respect and frankly where a lot of my self-esteem came from, I'd had a nasty accident a few weeks later which was going to take a year to recover from and my (in fairness very generous) pay-off was gone, so I was back living with Mum at 32, I couldn't dress myself some days, and the only way to deal with the pain (physical and mental) was taking double the prescribed dose of Tramadol I'd been given and then telling the Dr. I'd "lost" them and begging for some more.
So, I drafted myself a list of things I had to do to get my life back on track, simple, everyday stuff that most people manage to do without trying:
Fix my body and stop abusing the pain meds (and frankly the booze and drugs)
Find a new career.
Meet someone and 'settle down'
Buy a house.
Raise a family.
I've done all that, and more, and I'm bloody miserable most of the time. I find it impossible to be content, because if one of my friends / peers has a better job, better house, better car etc than me, I feel like a failure. It's terrible really.
It's a really s
tter too, because I had a list an everything! When I was at my lowest point in 2009, I'd been made redundant from a job that gave me self-respect and frankly where a lot of my self-esteem came from, I'd had a nasty accident a few weeks later which was going to take a year to recover from and my (in fairness very generous) pay-off was gone, so I was back living with Mum at 32, I couldn't dress myself some days, and the only way to deal with the pain (physical and mental) was taking double the prescribed dose of Tramadol I'd been given and then telling the Dr. I'd "lost" them and begging for some more. So, I drafted myself a list of things I had to do to get my life back on track, simple, everyday stuff that most people manage to do without trying:
Fix my body and stop abusing the pain meds (and frankly the booze and drugs)
Find a new career.
Meet someone and 'settle down'
Buy a house.
Raise a family.
I've done all that, and more, and I'm bloody miserable most of the time. I find it impossible to be content, because if one of my friends / peers has a better job, better house, better car etc than me, I feel like a failure. It's terrible really.
Muzzer79 said:
I'm in my early 40s.
I've had occasions of achievement and contentment. Occasions of joy and satisfaction.
I've yet to experience a feeling of "I've made it" or "everything is going to be alright"
The former, I don't think I really want as where is the motivation to go on from there?
The latter, I've never seriously thought it wasn't going to be alright.
Maybe I'm not a good example!
This is very like how I feel! Certainly, with young children, I feel the need to do a good job for them (alongside Lady Flash) both financially and in terms of bringing them up to feel happy and well-adjusted in a changing world. I've had occasions of achievement and contentment. Occasions of joy and satisfaction.
I've yet to experience a feeling of "I've made it" or "everything is going to be alright"
The former, I don't think I really want as where is the motivation to go on from there?
The latter, I've never seriously thought it wasn't going to be alright.
Maybe I'm not a good example!
I guess if my daughters turn out to be safe, happy and well, I will feel more of a sense of "final achievement" than I ever have before?
I don't ever tend to feel that I have "made it". But my goals have changed over time from academic ones, to financial ones, to human/family ones. I now k ow that I would give up a lot of the resources I have accumulated to see my children happy.
Little sods. It's not as if they are grateful. I basically suffer from Stockholm Syndrome.
ETA in my mid twenties to mid thirties, I was always comparing myself financially to very high achieving friends. That drove some good outcomes (career, finances and financual acumen/organisation and some bad ones (never being happy with what I had, feelings of professional failure, career choice regret, extreme materialism). Learned some useful lessons, there...
I will say this. Leaving social media behind a few years ago has helped with the negatives that materialise from comparing oneself to others. It is harder to be happy in oneself when all life, not just work, is a competition (or you think it is).
Edited by Harry Flashman on Thursday 26th August 13:13
There are lots of moments when I have stopped to appreciate how lucky I am to be in a certain situation, usually through no fault of my own. I am acutely aware that I have been to places and done things a lot of people only dream of and often have remind myself of that fact. These are usually work related, but in my personal life one particular example springs to mind. My wife asked what I wanted for my 40th a few years back. Given the standard gift for me in our house is a bottle of Lagavulin16yo, I thought this time we'd go one better.
We dropped the kids at school early, drove to an airfield where I base an aircraft, flew with my wife across to the Isle of Islay, where we landed, had lunch at Ardbeg, and picked up the bottle of Lagavulin from the distillery. We were then back in the air and home in time to collect the kids from school. The fact that I managed this midweek without having to take any time off work, flew ourselves using my hard-earned (a story in itself) pilots licence. Accompanied by an understanding spouse, who also didn't need to take time off work, all to get a (now very expensive) bottle of whiskey I could have bought 15 minutes away in the nearest department store food court gave me a nice sense of satisfaction that evening, while enjoying a dram looking out over the unspoilt countryside view from our house.
But honestly, I still don't think I've 'made it'. By most metrics I've done ok, but during my day job I'm exposed to almost unimaginable amounts of wealth. I've always felt like I've underachieved, and still feel I can de better, do more. I certainly have the intelligence to do so, but lack a bit of motivation.
"Contentment is the enemy of greatness", and that is the issue, and probably what will mean I never make it. I am content with my job which pays relatively well, I only work six-months of the year, have two happy and healthy children and a wife who doesn't seem to mind how much I spend on flying as long as she gets her couple of holidays each year. There is little pushing me on, which results in a constant nagging in the back of my head, especially as I get older. I have lots of ideas (who doesn't?), but need a push to really get to the point where I will genuinely feel I have 'made it'.
We dropped the kids at school early, drove to an airfield where I base an aircraft, flew with my wife across to the Isle of Islay, where we landed, had lunch at Ardbeg, and picked up the bottle of Lagavulin from the distillery. We were then back in the air and home in time to collect the kids from school. The fact that I managed this midweek without having to take any time off work, flew ourselves using my hard-earned (a story in itself) pilots licence. Accompanied by an understanding spouse, who also didn't need to take time off work, all to get a (now very expensive) bottle of whiskey I could have bought 15 minutes away in the nearest department store food court gave me a nice sense of satisfaction that evening, while enjoying a dram looking out over the unspoilt countryside view from our house.
But honestly, I still don't think I've 'made it'. By most metrics I've done ok, but during my day job I'm exposed to almost unimaginable amounts of wealth. I've always felt like I've underachieved, and still feel I can de better, do more. I certainly have the intelligence to do so, but lack a bit of motivation.
"Contentment is the enemy of greatness", and that is the issue, and probably what will mean I never make it. I am content with my job which pays relatively well, I only work six-months of the year, have two happy and healthy children and a wife who doesn't seem to mind how much I spend on flying as long as she gets her couple of holidays each year. There is little pushing me on, which results in a constant nagging in the back of my head, especially as I get older. I have lots of ideas (who doesn't?), but need a push to really get to the point where I will genuinely feel I have 'made it'.
That moment when it suddenly occurred to me that having 'made it' is all too often associated with material things and what we either want or desire.
Once i realised i should be content with what i already have and stop looking for the 'next thing' i became so much happier and maybe i could have done better at school, maybe i might be better off health wise if i hadn't had a brain tumour as a kid but you know what, i'm almost middle 50's and so far life is pretty decent.
What i wanted most out of life in my teens, 20's and 30's is no longer relevant to me.
Once i realised i should be content with what i already have and stop looking for the 'next thing' i became so much happier and maybe i could have done better at school, maybe i might be better off health wise if i hadn't had a brain tumour as a kid but you know what, i'm almost middle 50's and so far life is pretty decent.
What i wanted most out of life in my teens, 20's and 30's is no longer relevant to me.
Timely thread, I was thinking just that this very week.
I'm going to be 40 next month, and having set myself a personal goal of paying off my mortgage before I was 40, I've just made my final payment, having massively overpaid for the last five years I've got it down to zero, it's a good feeling! Although it will be short lived as we are moving somewhere bigger asap, so it doesn't really count, but hey, for all those wondering, that final payment feels amazing!
I have a daughter and a fiancee and my job feels fairly stable, so things are looking quite good at the moment, after a lot of years of self doubt, I'm finally in a position where I can give myself a subtle pat on the back.
EDit: After reading the posts above, for the record, I most certainly don't feel like 'I've made it', more of a 'You can actually hold your head high and be proud of yourself for once'
I'm going to be 40 next month, and having set myself a personal goal of paying off my mortgage before I was 40, I've just made my final payment, having massively overpaid for the last five years I've got it down to zero, it's a good feeling! Although it will be short lived as we are moving somewhere bigger asap, so it doesn't really count, but hey, for all those wondering, that final payment feels amazing!
I have a daughter and a fiancee and my job feels fairly stable, so things are looking quite good at the moment, after a lot of years of self doubt, I'm finally in a position where I can give myself a subtle pat on the back.
EDit: After reading the posts above, for the record, I most certainly don't feel like 'I've made it', more of a 'You can actually hold your head high and be proud of yourself for once'
Edited by Gary29 on Thursday 26th August 14:48
36 years old and for the past 3 years knowing I didn't want ot climb the corporate ladder has made my life better, I am now at the stage I could quite my job (which is already down from 5 to 4 days a week) and still pay off all my bills. Not mega comfortable but being a single male with no kids means I can live pretty cheap if I need to.
Few more years of work will mean the ability to have a much higher standard of living for not much more effort.
Of course is a woman comes along it will all be ruined
Few more years of work will mean the ability to have a much higher standard of living for not much more effort.
Of course is a woman comes along it will all be ruined
'Made it'? Who knows. In almost any sphere beyond simple goals (exam, job etc) this sounds a bit cringe to be honest.
'Things going to be alright'? Difficult one. Not sure if it is insecurity or realism that scuppers this. Parents (or worse, those closer) passing away does rather blow this one out of the water... Financially probably at the point of retirement as that is when the music stops and we will know if all the planning has worked out. The closer you get the better you know (hopefully). Until then everything is in flux (and even then...).
Possibly a third tag - 'This'll do'. As a point you reach some level of enlightenment/contentment. Things are good, they might get better and possibly worse, but right now things are good. Enjoy them.
'Things going to be alright'? Difficult one. Not sure if it is insecurity or realism that scuppers this. Parents (or worse, those closer) passing away does rather blow this one out of the water... Financially probably at the point of retirement as that is when the music stops and we will know if all the planning has worked out. The closer you get the better you know (hopefully). Until then everything is in flux (and even then...).
Possibly a third tag - 'This'll do'. As a point you reach some level of enlightenment/contentment. Things are good, they might get better and possibly worse, but right now things are good. Enjoy them.
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