Favourite Gag/Funny Story
Discussion
In these dire times, where PC-ness has sucked every shaft of wit from comics' output, we must go back in time and recall the gems.
I saw Ken Dodd not long before he died and here are three of his...
Referring to company names, he said,
LWT (London Weekend Televison) stands for Long Wait for a Titter.
KFC is Kan't Find the Chicken
But my favourite was, "What a lovely day to stick a cucumber through next door's letterbox and say the martians have landed."
In the lates '80's I went to see my prog rock hero Rick Wakeman during his 'Classical Connection' tour. among hilarious anecdotes, he played excerpts from his repertoire. He was about to play a track from 'The Myths and Legends of King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table', specifically Merlin the magician.
He introduced this with the story of how Merlin was romantically involved with one of Camelot's courtesans. She was only 17 but poor Merlin was an old magician and since there was no Viagra back in his time, he had trouble rising to the occasion. Or as Rick put it, "It was like trying to put a marshmallow in a moneybox."
I saw Ken Dodd not long before he died and here are three of his...
Referring to company names, he said,
LWT (London Weekend Televison) stands for Long Wait for a Titter.
KFC is Kan't Find the Chicken
But my favourite was, "What a lovely day to stick a cucumber through next door's letterbox and say the martians have landed."
In the lates '80's I went to see my prog rock hero Rick Wakeman during his 'Classical Connection' tour. among hilarious anecdotes, he played excerpts from his repertoire. He was about to play a track from 'The Myths and Legends of King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table', specifically Merlin the magician.
He introduced this with the story of how Merlin was romantically involved with one of Camelot's courtesans. She was only 17 but poor Merlin was an old magician and since there was no Viagra back in his time, he had trouble rising to the occasion. Or as Rick put it, "It was like trying to put a marshmallow in a moneybox."
Lee Mack's story take some beating: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dmbpagijVkk
Another two sprang to mind, from the awful 'Carry On Columbus', a film that could only boast two memorable gags.
Maureen Lipman played The Countess Esmaralda and each time she referred to her husband, it was with a noticeable distaste. She called him, "My husband, The Conte." in an appropriate tone. It worked 'cos Maureen was playing the role in posh mode.
The second gag was in a scene where the blonde eye candy, Sarah Crowe as Fatima, was looking over the ship's side at sharks circling in the water.
She asked Jack Douglas, "Will they swallow me whole?"
"Nah" he said, "They spit that out."
Maureen Lipman played The Countess Esmaralda and each time she referred to her husband, it was with a noticeable distaste. She called him, "My husband, The Conte." in an appropriate tone. It worked 'cos Maureen was playing the role in posh mode.
The second gag was in a scene where the blonde eye candy, Sarah Crowe as Fatima, was looking over the ship's side at sharks circling in the water.
She asked Jack Douglas, "Will they swallow me whole?"
"Nah" he said, "They spit that out."
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