Anarchy and you

[DickyC]

At secondary school my mates and I plotted a campaign of maximum disruption. Horrified by how quickly talk turned to either burning down or blowing up the place, I explained my plan which had almost zero risk of custodial sentences if we were caught. Every lunchtime we would each take a fork, clean it and hide it in the unused lockers between the main school and the annex. If there was any hint of being spotted that day's fork removal would be postponed. We started. It went like clockwork. Four of us, four forks a day, twenty a week, eightyish a month. There were six hundred boys at the school and more than enough forks for one each at all three sittings at lunch. But before long the kitchen staff were having to wash cutlery between sittings and alerted the Headmaster. In Assembly one morning he suggested there might be a problem with cutlery and asked boys to be more careful. Gradually the situation became worse. Signs of concerted effort were recognised. On some days teachers were posted around the dinner hall on the lookout for surreptitious fork filching. They tried to look tough but were probably just pissed off at having to give up their lunchtimes. On those days we didn't remove any forks. Easy.

Unfortunately, I don't know how the coup ended. This happened during my Fifth Year and I was ill during my O-levels and didn't pass English which was a prerequisite of joining the Sixth Year. To go into the Sixth Year I would have to do another Fifth Year just to retake English. No thanks. So the day of my English O level was not only the day I went into hospital it was also my last day at school. Horrible place. Glad we did it. Fork 'em, that's what I say.