"I need permission from the wife to be allowed out"
Discussion
Seriously, what the heck is that all about?
A good friend of mine and I, who have been work colleagues for a long time, are trying to arrange after work food and drinks with another 3 friends/ex-colleagues. This will be after a big conference, which they are attending, and most people will probably be getting on the booze afterwards.
They clearly want to come, and we haven't seen each other as a group in more than a year, but they are having to carefully raise the subject of going out for drinks with friends, with their wives/partners, who are apparently not very receptive to the idea at the best of times. They may get issued with 'permission' to go out, or they may not.
We are all waiting with baited breath on the outcome of the domestic negotiations.
(Just to add, these aren't blokes who have previous for getting plastered and ending up plastered, naked and arrested. They are perfectly sensible 40-something year old guys who won't be getting drunk)
I have come across this sort of thing loads in the past and it has always baffled me. Chaps begging their wives/partners for permission to go out for one night in 6 months, or 12 months. Some even have tactical ideas of how to go about it. They mention it a certain number of weeks in advance to 'plant the seed' as they put it, and then mention it a little more as the day gets closer, in the desperate hope of being allowed out.
How could you be arsed with that?
If I want to go for after work drinks with my colleagues, or to the pub with some friends, or whatever, then I do, and my wife is absolutely fine with it. She just tells me to have a nice time. She does the same. She knows she doesn't have to ask. We just let each other know so that one of us will be at home to look after our Son. Usually I'll just send a text telling her I'll be back late, or she might do the same. It works perfectly fine.
Neither of us comes home in a state. Occasionally I'll be a 'bit merry', but in cheerful way, and not in a way that impairs my ability to do stuff with our child the next morning.
Are you one of these that has to ask permission? What is the reason for it? Have you been a naughty boy in the past? Do you get really drunk? Does your wife/partner just not trust you?
A good friend of mine and I, who have been work colleagues for a long time, are trying to arrange after work food and drinks with another 3 friends/ex-colleagues. This will be after a big conference, which they are attending, and most people will probably be getting on the booze afterwards.
They clearly want to come, and we haven't seen each other as a group in more than a year, but they are having to carefully raise the subject of going out for drinks with friends, with their wives/partners, who are apparently not very receptive to the idea at the best of times. They may get issued with 'permission' to go out, or they may not.
We are all waiting with baited breath on the outcome of the domestic negotiations.
(Just to add, these aren't blokes who have previous for getting plastered and ending up plastered, naked and arrested. They are perfectly sensible 40-something year old guys who won't be getting drunk)
I have come across this sort of thing loads in the past and it has always baffled me. Chaps begging their wives/partners for permission to go out for one night in 6 months, or 12 months. Some even have tactical ideas of how to go about it. They mention it a certain number of weeks in advance to 'plant the seed' as they put it, and then mention it a little more as the day gets closer, in the desperate hope of being allowed out.
How could you be arsed with that?
If I want to go for after work drinks with my colleagues, or to the pub with some friends, or whatever, then I do, and my wife is absolutely fine with it. She just tells me to have a nice time. She does the same. She knows she doesn't have to ask. We just let each other know so that one of us will be at home to look after our Son. Usually I'll just send a text telling her I'll be back late, or she might do the same. It works perfectly fine.
Neither of us comes home in a state. Occasionally I'll be a 'bit merry', but in cheerful way, and not in a way that impairs my ability to do stuff with our child the next morning.
Are you one of these that has to ask permission? What is the reason for it? Have you been a naughty boy in the past? Do you get really drunk? Does your wife/partner just not trust you?
Edited by anonymous-user on Tuesday 14th June 13:14
When I was younger I roundly mocked one or two people I knew who used this line.
With age, I realise that it's most likely they were just using this is an easy excuse, when they just didn't want to come out.
Saying that, I used to have a mate at uni with a very scary fiancé. We used to go out for a few, and if it got to a certain hour he'd ring her to say where he was. One one occasion he literally went pale as she hairdryered him over the phone, finished his pint and scarpered.
With age, I realise that it's most likely they were just using this is an easy excuse, when they just didn't want to come out.
Saying that, I used to have a mate at uni with a very scary fiancé. We used to go out for a few, and if it got to a certain hour he'd ring her to say where he was. One one occasion he literally went pale as she hairdryered him over the phone, finished his pint and scarpered.
It is entirely possible they don't want to come out, which is fair enough, but I've known them a long time (getting on for 15-20 years) and they used to have some really good nights out with us, but they still had the same issues of 'getting permission' even back then, and I remember it being an issue for them.
It's not like anything has changed. It seems that for certain people being allowed out has always been an issue.
Plot Twist: They never actually wanted to come out, and have been using their wives as an excuse for 20 years?
It's not like anything has changed. It seems that for certain people being allowed out has always been an issue.
Plot Twist: They never actually wanted to come out, and have been using their wives as an excuse for 20 years?
Johnnytheboy said:
When I was younger I roundly mocked one or two people I knew who used this line.
With age, I realise that it's most likely they were just using this is an easy excuse, when they just didn't want to come out.
Saying that, I used to have a mate at uni with a very scary fiancé. We used to go out for a few, and if it got to a certain hour he'd ring her to say where he was. One one occasion he literally went pale as she hairdryered him over the phone, finished his pint and scarpered.
I have a friend who is exactly like that. With age, I realise that it's most likely they were just using this is an easy excuse, when they just didn't want to come out.
Saying that, I used to have a mate at uni with a very scary fiancé. We used to go out for a few, and if it got to a certain hour he'd ring her to say where he was. One one occasion he literally went pale as she hairdryered him over the phone, finished his pint and scarpered.
His Mrs is a proper bruiser and she wants to know where he is at all times. I used to have a really good DJ setup in a room at my old house, and a massive vinyl collection, and he was a really good DJ, and he used to come round to my house on a Saturday afternoon for a couple of hours to go on the decks with me.
She would phone him every 30 minutes and ask if he was still at mine, and to let her know exactly when he would be coming home. Stuff like that. He sounded terrified when he was on the phone to her.
No mention of any kids? The main reason myself and my partner have to discuss plans is because of childcare. One of us needs to be at home, or we need to arrange expensive child care.
Although, she does get wound up if I'm out a couple of days one week, and a couple of days the next. And to be fair at that point I want to be at home as well!
Although, she does get wound up if I'm out a couple of days one week, and a couple of days the next. And to be fair at that point I want to be at home as well!
Lord Marylebone said:
Johnnytheboy said:
When I was younger I roundly mocked one or two people I knew who used this line.
With age, I realise that it's most likely they were just using this is an easy excuse, when they just didn't want to come out.
Saying that, I used to have a mate at uni with a very scary fiancé. We used to go out for a few, and if it got to a certain hour he'd ring her to say where he was. One one occasion he literally went pale as she hairdryered him over the phone, finished his pint and scarpered.
I have a friend who is exactly like that. With age, I realise that it's most likely they were just using this is an easy excuse, when they just didn't want to come out.
Saying that, I used to have a mate at uni with a very scary fiancé. We used to go out for a few, and if it got to a certain hour he'd ring her to say where he was. One one occasion he literally went pale as she hairdryered him over the phone, finished his pint and scarpered.
His Mrs is a proper bruiser and she wants to know where he is at all times. I used to have a really good DJ setup in a room at my old house, and a massive vinyl collection, and he was a really good DJ, and he used to come round to my house on a Saturday afternoon for a couple of hours to go on the decks with me.
She would phone him every 30 minutes and ask if he was still at mine, and to let her know exactly when he would be coming home. Stuff like that. He sounded terrified when he was on the phone to her.
I know one chap, now in his sixties, his wife (who doesn't work) controlled all the finances, to the point where he would get given £50 spending money on a Monday morning to last him the week. And he just rolled over and accepted it. In the end, she left him and took half the value of his company, as six months before, she convinced him to transfer half the company shares to her.
Beggars belief doesn't it?
A mate's a year into his second marriage. MY OH cuts his hair and he'd used to come round for a trim and he and I would then head out for a jar or two afterwards. Not any more. She doesn't like him out during the working week. He's 58 ffs! not 10!
I've always believed that marriage should be the union of best mates. Anything other than that is doomed to failure or a life of misery.
A mate's a year into his second marriage. MY OH cuts his hair and he'd used to come round for a trim and he and I would then head out for a jar or two afterwards. Not any more. She doesn't like him out during the working week. He's 58 ffs! not 10!
I've always believed that marriage should be the union of best mates. Anything other than that is doomed to failure or a life of misery.
Not so much permission needed, but when I was with the ex wife it always felt like me going out without her was frowned upon.
With hindsight I think it was a trust thing, because she knew what she was up to when she went out with her friends
I've been with Mrs P now for 11 years, married for 6 next month. If I want to go out with the lads I just say. I don't go out often on the lash, but I do play cricket, rugby and golf - and on occasion will get a lift or a bus so that I can stay on for a pint or 3
We're both on our 2nd marriage, and neither can be bothered with the crap that we endured first time around. We met in our mid 30s, so both had hobbies and friends - and we do stuff together, and apart. Works a treat for us
I just couldn't be arsed nowadays to be honest
With hindsight I think it was a trust thing, because she knew what she was up to when she went out with her friends
I've been with Mrs P now for 11 years, married for 6 next month. If I want to go out with the lads I just say. I don't go out often on the lash, but I do play cricket, rugby and golf - and on occasion will get a lift or a bus so that I can stay on for a pint or 3
We're both on our 2nd marriage, and neither can be bothered with the crap that we endured first time around. We met in our mid 30s, so both had hobbies and friends - and we do stuff together, and apart. Works a treat for us
I just couldn't be arsed nowadays to be honest
I self-earn golden exit tokens to smooth things out a little when I want to go out. It's mostly things that I do anyway - cleaning cars, bins, vacuuming, washing up, if the washing machine has finished I hang it out etc.
So for instance, I'm going on a long stag weekend on Thurs. I'll be buying cookies and cakes on Weds for Mrs V. and The Vikingettes, bins will be by the side of the house for Friday collection, I've give one of the Vikingettes £30 so they can order pizza on Saturday night etc.
When I look back at the last fortnight I think I've been out at least 8 days out of the last 14.
So for instance, I'm going on a long stag weekend on Thurs. I'll be buying cookies and cakes on Weds for Mrs V. and The Vikingettes, bins will be by the side of the house for Friday collection, I've give one of the Vikingettes £30 so they can order pizza on Saturday night etc.
When I look back at the last fortnight I think I've been out at least 8 days out of the last 14.
A fella I knew who wasn't the greatest of catches found his dream woman, that is the woman who would have him. Rather substantially built with plenty of previous children.
She would call him every 20-30 minutes. We would often be in the countryside so the signal would fail. That would necessitate several phone calls explaning the signal problems and why he wasn't staying in touch.
'Why the hell are you putting up with that deranged s
te?' 'Dunno. It's what she's like, really.'
He went on to add more children to her collection and was never heard from again.
She would call him every 20-30 minutes. We would often be in the countryside so the signal would fail. That would necessitate several phone calls explaning the signal problems and why he wasn't staying in touch.
'Why the hell are you putting up with that deranged s
te?' 'Dunno. It's what she's like, really.'He went on to add more children to her collection and was never heard from again.
I had an ex that was genuinely like this, she had massive trust issues after being cheated on by her previous partner (caught him in the act with her best friend apparenty!) so she tried to take it all out on me instead.
Shame really, she was a really nice girl, but too paranoid to trust anyone and just end up pushing them away.
My fiancee now is the exact opposite, she encourages me to get out of the house and away from her! Maybe I'm the problem!
Shame really, she was a really nice girl, but too paranoid to trust anyone and just end up pushing them away.
My fiancee now is the exact opposite, she encourages me to get out of the house and away from her! Maybe I'm the problem!
My first wife was a bit like that. Although I had a Wednesday evening meet up every week with pals. It was never too lairy and just nice to catch up.
Wife no2 is much more laid back. So long as she has more then ten minutes she’s not bothered. She likes the fact I have a close knit group of pals, probably takes some strain off her as we all support and look out for each other. Having said that, in the modern world of Whats App groups and the like we don’t catch up as often as we did.
Wife no2 is much more laid back. So long as she has more then ten minutes she’s not bothered. She likes the fact I have a close knit group of pals, probably takes some strain off her as we all support and look out for each other. Having said that, in the modern world of Whats App groups and the like we don’t catch up as often as we did.
Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff