Narcissism and Navel-Gazing
Discussion
The night before last, I posted (on social media) an image of what I was watching.
It was a live set by FKJ from Salar de Uyuni, Bolivia presented by Cercle. I was watching it through a projector but not on the pull-down screen; it was evening time and the image looked quite good on the blinds of our bay window. It seemed like a 'nice' moment to capture and after fluffing up the image, I threw it out to the viewing public. Why did I do that? It looks like I may well be showing off. I'm not really sure. It was an impulsive action and I didn't really think too much about it at the time.
Here's the irony: I balk at people doing just that on social media. One of the main reasons I stepped back from Facebook was to distance myself from people who seem to relentlessly document every little thing they do: from the departure lounge to every day - or step - of their holiday, as they live it; from how their breakfast/lunch/dinner looks to the empty plate after they've dispatched it; from the 'woe is me' face to the 'nothing' response to those who ask what is wrong.
Before social media, did we have such an hankering to show off?
I get how families and friends living away from each other might want to share events, but since when has there been an audience for live updates of a holiday? It's not even after the event! It's as it happens. And what about those audiences? Are they just being polite by just clicking the Like button to humour them?
Perhaps it's me being anti social? I also have noticed how some people take living on social media to the point of only communicating via their preferred platform. Someone recently asked about a windscreen issue on Faceache and a friend mentioned my name (also adding my mobile number to the recommendation). Strangely, that person didn't call me. They friend-requested me. (I'm deliberately not being active on my FB personal profile and it only exists as an admin for my biz page). When I told my mate to tell his mate that I'm not active on Facey and it would be easier/quicker to phone or WhatsApp, the guy sent me a long-winded message on FB Messenger.
Insecurity? Self indulgence?
I'm off to delete some images...
It was a live set by FKJ from Salar de Uyuni, Bolivia presented by Cercle. I was watching it through a projector but not on the pull-down screen; it was evening time and the image looked quite good on the blinds of our bay window. It seemed like a 'nice' moment to capture and after fluffing up the image, I threw it out to the viewing public. Why did I do that? It looks like I may well be showing off. I'm not really sure. It was an impulsive action and I didn't really think too much about it at the time.
Here's the irony: I balk at people doing just that on social media. One of the main reasons I stepped back from Facebook was to distance myself from people who seem to relentlessly document every little thing they do: from the departure lounge to every day - or step - of their holiday, as they live it; from how their breakfast/lunch/dinner looks to the empty plate after they've dispatched it; from the 'woe is me' face to the 'nothing' response to those who ask what is wrong.
Before social media, did we have such an hankering to show off?
I get how families and friends living away from each other might want to share events, but since when has there been an audience for live updates of a holiday? It's not even after the event! It's as it happens. And what about those audiences? Are they just being polite by just clicking the Like button to humour them?
Perhaps it's me being anti social? I also have noticed how some people take living on social media to the point of only communicating via their preferred platform. Someone recently asked about a windscreen issue on Faceache and a friend mentioned my name (also adding my mobile number to the recommendation). Strangely, that person didn't call me. They friend-requested me. (I'm deliberately not being active on my FB personal profile and it only exists as an admin for my biz page). When I told my mate to tell his mate that I'm not active on Facey and it would be easier/quicker to phone or WhatsApp, the guy sent me a long-winded message on FB Messenger.
Insecurity? Self indulgence?
I'm off to delete some images...
Glassman said:
Perhaps it's me being anti social? I also have noticed how some people take living on social media to the point of only communicating via their preferred platform. Someone recently asked about a windscreen issue on Faceache and a friend mentioned my name (also adding my mobile number to the recommendation). Strangely, that person didn't call me. They friend-requested me. (I'm deliberately not being active on my FB personal profile and it only exists as an admin for my biz page). When I told my mate to tell his mate that I'm not active on Facey and it would be easier/quicker to phone or WhatsApp, the guy sent me a long-winded message on FB Messenger.
You have a business presence on a platform, respond to it otherwise why bother with it at all? Even if it's just to ask them to call you and give a number.Social media platforms are largely tuned to encourage vacuous narcissism and we can see how successful this has been.
hidetheelephants said:
You have a business presence on a platform, respond to it otherwise why bother with it at all? Even if it's just to ask them to call you and give a number.
Biz profile and personal are separate. I need the personal profile to maintain the biz. This chap friend requested me on my personal. https://www.triggerpod.co.uk/an-epidemic-of-narcis...
Thats a interesting listen. Social media is doing weird stuff to us.
Thats a interesting listen. Social media is doing weird stuff to us.
Totally with you on this, OP. I stopped using Facebook about 2 years ago for exactly this reason.
I just found anything interesting I wanted to post could equally be read as “look at me and my wonderful life”. I concluded this really is just a form of showing off (even if not intended to be). The alternative was to stay on FB but not post anything about me, and instead just like jokes and gifs of cats or join in arguments about politics, but for the sake of what? Decided to drop off altogether.
I’ve not missed it at all. My close friends and family keep me posted on what they are doing in other ways, like WhatsApp. And Pistonheads has more and better discussions, often from people who have some real insight and knowledge, or at least a more interestingly different opinion than my social group.
I just found anything interesting I wanted to post could equally be read as “look at me and my wonderful life”. I concluded this really is just a form of showing off (even if not intended to be). The alternative was to stay on FB but not post anything about me, and instead just like jokes and gifs of cats or join in arguments about politics, but for the sake of what? Decided to drop off altogether.
I’ve not missed it at all. My close friends and family keep me posted on what they are doing in other ways, like WhatsApp. And Pistonheads has more and better discussions, often from people who have some real insight and knowledge, or at least a more interestingly different opinion than my social group.
I have a mate who posts up photos of his coffee with a 'hashtag' like #writerslife (he's not an actual writer). I still don't understand why people do this. I have asked him repeatedly why he does it and he just ignores me and continues posting them up. I can just about get people taking photos of their food, although I find it tedious and dull, but why coffee?
Glassman said:
hidetheelephants said:
You have a business presence on a platform, respond to it otherwise why bother with it at all? Even if it's just to ask them to call you and give a number.
Biz profile and personal are separate. I need the personal profile to maintain the biz. This chap friend requested me on my personal. hidetheelephants said:
The distinction is moot if you do not use FB for anything else. Do you get much trade from it? If not then perhaps delete the lot.
The occasional enquiry which doesn't usually turn into anything meaningful. I've often thought about wiping it, but then you can never tell who looked at it before dialing the number. It's a shop window. My Sister-In-Law lives her life by Facebook, posting constant pics, memes, motivational pics and posts about her and family life: Flynn playing football, Flynn swimming, Flynns new haircut, OMG! Filled up the car and a pic of the pump showing the price. I blocked her and she got offended. 
We were out on a village green yesterday eating and were people watching and latched onto a groups of kids constantly videoing themselves. Seem kids can't have fun without videoing it and the validation that goes with it.
We were out on a village green yesterday eating and were people watching and latched onto a groups of kids constantly videoing themselves. Seem kids can't have fun without videoing it and the validation that goes with it.
S100HP said:
It's utterly pathetic and the reason I deleted Facebook, after realising I was doing the same.
Nobody really gives a s
t about what you had for dinner, where you went recently or your opinion on whatever the latest hot topic is. It's an absolute cesspit. All "social media" is.
I totally agree but there are some that don't Nobody really gives a s
t about what you had for dinner, where you went recently or your opinion on whatever the latest hot topic is. It's an absolute cesspit. All "social media" is.
https://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&...
vikingaero said:
My Sister-In-Law lives her life by Facebook, posting constant pics, memes, motivational pics and posts about her and family life: Flynn playing football, Flynn swimming, Flynns new haircut, OMG! Filled up the car and a pic of the pump showing the price. I blocked her and she got offended.
We were out on a village green yesterday eating and were people watching and latched onto a groups of kids constantly videoing themselves. Seem kids can't have fun without videoing it and the validation that goes with it.
If you just ‘unfollow’ rather than block, you don’t see her drivel and she’s none the wiser. I do that with anyone who posts such rubbish and if they query it, just say you hardly ever look at FB these days.We were out on a village green yesterday eating and were people watching and latched onto a groups of kids constantly videoing themselves. Seem kids can't have fun without videoing it and the validation that goes with it.
robsa said:
I have a mate who posts up photos of his coffee with a 'hashtag' like #writerslife (he's not an actual writer). I still don't understand why people do this. I have asked him repeatedly why he does it and he just ignores me and continues posting them up. I can just about get people taking photos of their food, although I find it tedious and dull, but why coffee?
I'd just block / unfollow stuff like that.Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff